# Sleep issues -exhausted new cockapoo mummy!



## Laura1990 (Jul 28, 2014)

Hi everyone,

We've had out puppy Rosie two weeks and she is 12 weeks old. We are having some serious issues with night times! We are tying to crate train her and have put her in her crate in our dining room (which is the Central room in our house) since day one, but she is not a happy pup at night time!

The first week I slept on a pull out bed next to her to try and settle her in her crate, and she slept beautifully from 10:30pm - 6am...we thought 'wow what a dream puppy!' Last weekend, I moved back upstairs to try it out, and again she slept right through. Until Sunday night, when she yelped, whined, barked and howled for 2 hours!

Since then she has generally gone down about 10:30, woken us anytime bet wen 1:30 and 4:30am when we've let out to the toilet, and then settled back in her the crate until about 5:30-5:45am. Apart from tonight, when she has started barking if I even attempt to put her back in her crate - let alone go back upstairs!

We seriously need some advice as neither my husband or I are getting any sleep (he can't even function at work some days he's so tired) and poor Rosie seems to be getting more distressed  she peed in her crate tonight which she's never done, even though I came downstairs straight away to let her out.

What can we do? Has anyone else had similar problems with their puppy not sleeping? When can we reasonably expect her to sleep through the night? Any advice much appreciated!


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

We need a thread on here written by cockapoo puppies about their owners and the steep learning curve involved with teaching them how much they HATE to sleep alone. 

Ok, in all seriousness now, you have several choices. You could persevere and finally break her spirit. You could bring her in her crate to your bedroom. You could buy another dog to keep her company. You could move back beside her and move away more gradually. You could do what we did and give up and let her into bed with you.


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

All top tips fairlie!
I would suggest crate in your room or on the landing if you are wanting to continue use using the crate.
As she gets older she will settle more, and then maybe put the crate back downstairs? 
Try a couple of old t shirts, sleeping with them and putting the in the crate so she has your scent with her.
A warm hot water bottle wrapped in a blanket.
Good luck - keep us updated


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## Miss Lilly (Sep 12, 2014)

Hello
I'm not sure I'm qualified to give advice just yet as Miss Lilly is only (nearly) 5 months - but I can share some of my experiences in the hope that these may be helpful. to you.

I was lucky as Miss Lilly was already used to being in a crate from a very early age as her breeder used one. She still loves her crate and will happily go in there of her own accord when she is tired in the evening or when I say 'bed'.

I may not have read your post properly but its not clear to me whether your pup is only in the crate at night time or for periods during the day also? If its just night times, then it might be a really good idea to have her go in for short-ish periods during the day too. You can feed her in there, give her any treats in there, give her favourite toys in there - anything to help her associate her crate with something pleasurable. Leave the door open so that she can go in an out of her own accord and alternate this with closing the door for short periods that gradually get longer.

Miss Lilly's crate has 'vetbed' and fleece blankets in it: she is too young for a proper bed (she would likely eat it) but she can throw her blankets around to her hearts content, snuggle into them, burrow, chew and of course sleep. She has water in her crate at all times.

I have never, ever simply put Miss Lilly in her crate and closed the door - I always use encouragement, praise, treats as I don't want her to associate her crate with being shut away or left on her own. At the most, I have placed her front paws at the entrance and encouraged her to go in so that it is (or at least she thinks it is) her own choice to go in there.

Hope there are some ideas here (my own and other posters) that may be of use to you.

Good Luck!


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

Miss Lilly of course your qualified to give advice - your a poo puppy mummy! X


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## catherine (Aug 22, 2014)

We got Belle a small ticking clock to put on top of her crate. I'm not sure if it was that or if she just got used to it but she sleeps well now.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

She is lonely and possibly a bit scared. If possible put the crate in your bedroom. If you think about it from her viewpoint, she is used to snuggling up with her litter mates, she heard their heartbeats and their snuffling etc, these all made her feel secure. This is what she now requires from you, her new pack, her protectors day and night. Give her what she needs and you will all get a good nights sleep.


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

Bring your pup's crate into your bedroom at night. She is missing her litter mates and is lonely. You will find you will all get a decent nights sleep. Dogs are pack animals and don't like to sleep alone. Once she is used to being away from her litter mates and knows you are coming back to her you can move the crate downstairs if that's what you prefer. Although lots of us cockapoo owners sleep with our pets!


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## Jinty (Apr 18, 2014)

I have a six month old cockapoo and we had him in a crate in our room until he was about 16 weeks. By that time he had stopped waking us to go for a wee in the night and was sleeping right through. We then switched him to sleep downstairs in his crate and that went really smoothly. Only time there has been a problem since was when my mum was stating with her dog who is 3 and no longer crated. Stanley was really unsettled the first night but after keeping him company til 3 am (&#55357;&#56881 he settled and was fine the following night. 

Hang in there! The first couple of months with a puppy are really full on but it WILL get easier. This is the second time we've done it and it is worth persevering.


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## Laura1990 (Jul 28, 2014)

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your advice...I was almost at my wits end last night at 4:30am when I posted so really appreciate all your ideas and support.

Fairlie I don't want to break her spirit and would like Rosie to feel happy and secure; we've had a few nights when she has been brilliant and, besides a toilet trip, slept though.

Tinman and Catherine we've tried it all - leaving radio 4 on quietly, night light, ticking clock, blanket which smells of mum and litter mates, putting my pj top in with her, hot water bottle wrapped in said t-shirt/blanket, pheromone plug in, tasty kong treat - everything!

Miss Lilly, what's strange is she's fine during the day; she is left for two hours in the morning and two in the afternoon when I'm at work and is perfectly contented.

I think crate in bedroom may have to be the way to go, hubby has been reluctant as he wanted her to be primarily downstairs but I think it is causing her too much stress and no one is getting any sleep. It's so hard because so many people tell me to let her cry it out and she'll get over it, and that if we bring her upstairs she will get too clingy and not be able to cope when she is left alone during the day, but it seems so cruel to leave her and I can't bear to hear her cry! Plus she has recently started barking at us which is not something I want to encourage - particularly not in the middle of the night!

Will just tell hubby she is moving in (at least initially) and will let you know how we get on.

Thanks again for all the advice 😊


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

I hope you all get a good nights sleep tonight so that your OH is sold on the dog in bedroom concept.


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

You don't have to worry, mine slept with us from the beginning and now sometimes they prefer to sleep outside our room ( probably to avoid hubby's snoring !)


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Honestly, the more secure you make these little dogs feel, the more they love you and the stronger they grow up to be. Make them feel secure and loved and they grow up to be confident devoted little dogs, happy to spend time alone when they have to, happier still when they are with you. Don't listen to anyone who tells you 'you are making a rod for your own back', it's rubbish. You are doing just the opposite. By providing for their needs now, you will be growing in built confidence later. Think seeds and nuture. Treat an acorn right.....you get an oak tree!


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## Florida Cockapoo (Aug 24, 2012)

I tried the crate in the other room ideal also. It lasted about 2 nights. I was use to sleeping with dogs when I was younger, but hubby wasn't. He had the ideal the "dog" will not sleep in our bed. Because its our "bed". LOL

Well a compromise was found. We had a cat crate. The type that splits in half. So I took it apart and "taped" it down to my night stand. So it couldn't fall off. Put some blankets in it. Let her have some "social" time with us on the bed and then would tell her "Go to your bed." She would go to her bed. That way if did have a accident it would be in the cat carrier and not our bed. She did have one or two accidents in the bed before we went to sleep. Because would get excited about something. 

After the 3rd night of us making that change she would sleep through the whole night. Then around 6-6:30 AM she could come over an cuddle with me. But never until then. But during the night I could also pet her or touch her and she would know I was there.

Now she sleeps with us at night on our bed and is a great bed mate. So my hubby gave in and now she sleeps with us. 

By the way she is crate trained. We just never put her in the crate at night.

PS she does have an bed in our room also and sometimes will even get off our bed and lay in her own bed. But most of the time she is in our bed.


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## Laura1990 (Jul 28, 2014)

Hi everyone, two nights in and it seems to be going well having the crate by our bed. Rosie does bark for a bit at first when she goes in, but eventually settles down and sleeps through until about 6am.

I think we'll leave her in here for now, try gradually moving it out after a few weeks but if that's a no go then get a bed for her for when we ditch the crate (unless my some miracle she starts to love her crate - which at the moment is seeking unlikely!)

Thanks everyone for all the help and advice! They really do change your life in every way and I can't think of anything or anyone else more worth it!


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Cat 53 said:


> Treat an acorn right.....you get an oak tree!


This has become my new favourite parenting mantra. I love it.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Aww. Thanks Fairlie. Am honoured.


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

I will write that quote down for when I'm ready to send screaming baby back! X


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Just bear in mind that oaks take a heck of a long time to mature


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Yes but think of all the benefits of an oak, both real and metaphorical.


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## Laura1990 (Jul 28, 2014)

*So confused!*

Encouraging as the oak metaphor is...I'm so confused! This is night 3 of bringing her into our room and she is barking like mad and screaming like a banchee when we try to go to bed! 

At least when she was downstairs she originally settled well, she would wake up throughout the night but the first couple of hours was fine, now she sleeps through for longer but seems so distressed when we put her in her crate, despite it being right next to our bed 😕 I really don't understand!

Anyone help??


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

She doesn't like the crate. That's the most obvious reason. What are you doing to make create time a positive experience? Has she had a good play before going in?


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## Willow596 (Jun 5, 2014)

I don't know if this helps, but this was my experience with Izzy. I slept downstairs probs for the first 5 or 6 days when we first got her home. 

We made the crate a bit of a haven, and contrary to the regular "crate" training, we had a huge cage with a snugly bed at one end, an area for water and food and (I'm probably going to be going against every training manual/experienced dog owner in the world here) she had a peepee pad at the other end! 

I know I'm probably horrifying everyone with this admission, but it worked for us! The pad was only in there at night, or if I popped out briefly, and we did the usual, take her outside hourly, after sleeps, food, excitement etc... and she really did fine. 

She would have a tiddle on the pad probably early hours, and settle back down to sleep. Then we'd get up, quickly remove the pad, and start the potty training regime again through the day. 

Now I know this isn't going to work for everyone, but she never got confused, was house trained really quickly, and never tiddled anywhere else (apart from a couple of times at the back door, when I missed her cues to go out a bit later in the process).

Our routine in the evening gave her lots of clues that it was coming up to bed time - I would lower the volume on the TV, turn the main light off in the living room (just side lights) and then down to just one dim light near the cage, which stayed on all night. 

We would have a little cuddle, then out for a last wee, then into the crate with a tasty treat!! Apart from a couple of nights where I had to go down to settle her, she was perfectly fine! 

I would add that my older dog William was sleeping in the kitchen, so was nearby - but not in view - and I don't know if that made a difference?!? 

When she was better with her bladder control, she didn't use the pads for a number of days in a row, and eventually just started ripping them up (boy that made a mess I can tell you). So then we just stopped using them altogether! And she then went through till the morning, and out in the garden as soon as she got up!

She quickly moved on into the kitchen to sleep with William, and even the change in sleeping arrangements didn't cause any house training mishaps! Not long after that, we completely got rid of the cage altogether. 

Anyway, every pup is different, and you WILL find what works for you! Just keep trying until you find out what it is. Loads of luck, it will all work out in the end, and then you'll soon forget about all the drama - until the next one pops up.... just check out Isabella's first season thread to see what we're going through right now (eek). The hard work is so totally worth it, when it all comes good (and it will)!! 

I hope this has been of some help, even if just to give you a few ideas, and to let you know, that sometimes you have to throw the rule book outa the window and just wing it!!! 😉
All the best!


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## Laura1990 (Jul 28, 2014)

Thanks everyone, it's great to hear all your advice.

I don't know why Rosie hates her crate so much at night as during the day she's fine. We have a blanket over two sides to make it like a den, with vet bedding one of each of our t-shirts and a snuggly towel for her. During the day and at night we always give her her Kong in it as well as hide small treats and she has her hedgehog toy in there too.

Our night time routine is small walk (she's obly 12 weeks so it's just a quick 15 minutes) then brush, Buchanan she quite likes. We then turn tv down and dim lights and have cuddles for a while to calm her down, then final trip in the garden for a wee before all she, hubby and I all head uostairs to bed. We've been leaving the crate door open and encouraging her to go in whilst we get changed for bed, and then we sit by the crate with the door open and encourage her to go in but she always just wants to sit on our knee.

Eventually when she starts to doze off we carefully close the door but she usually wakes up and starts barking really loudly at us.

Maybe she does just hate it; which is surprising as day times aren't a problem, but I'm sure we'll get there eventually! I can't spend all night say at the foot of the bed with her on my knee so we need to at some point!

Thanks again everyone for the advice...and I'm sure once we're through this battle the next will strike! Rosie is our first little girl so I can't even bear to think about her first season yet!!


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Poor you, I am so sorry that this bedtime thing is proving to be such a trial for you all. Hard to believe for you now - but it really will get better. 
How is she doing with her training in general - recall, walking nicely on the lead, sit, down, baby stays etc. It sounds to me as if she is a pup with plenty of character 
Kiki screamed , but only for the first few nights. She wasn't in a crate, she was in the kitchen behind the gate and my collie slept in the hall the other side of the gate.
I would go and comfort her and sit with her until she was calm and that worked for us. 
Dot was crate trained by her breeder - so, so easy.
Everybody does something different and in the end it works for them. I think I'd just say decide what you are going to do and stick with it, no more changes - each change means she is having to learn again. 
In the meantime , chocolate, booze, ear plugs - whatever you need.


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

Ohh it is hard  and it feels like it's never going to get better! My suggestion was going to be to let her drop off on you/on your bed, then sneak her into her crate - that's what we had to do, Tilly hated the crate!..... But it sounds like you're already pretty much doing this.

I agree with Marzi - you definitely need to stick with an approach as she has to start from square one with each change. It is tempting to change your approach though, when it doesn't work, especially when others have said it works for them! 

Poor Rosie, poor you  it WILL get better!! X


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## Laura1990 (Jul 28, 2014)

UPDATE - More sleepless nights with Rosie

Hi everyone, so we took your advice and Rosie's crate has been in our room for the past two weeks. Sadly this has not resulted in much more sleep for hubby and I!

We had a week where she was amazing, settled down after 5 minutes of whining and slept from 10:30ish until 1-1:30am when she would bark to go out to the toilet, then agin until 4-4:30am when again I would take her out, then she would sleep through until we all get up at 6. We then got it down to her only waking up once in the night, any time 3-5am to go outside then would settle. However, we seem to have taken a step backwards this week...Rosie has been barking and whining when we first go to bed and then been waking up about 4am and barking non-stop to be let out. I have been taking her out in the garden for a wee but she hasn't settled back down to sleep, instead she has started shaking her crate, barking and whining from 4am until whatever time we get up. It's a nightmare, my husband had an important regional meeting yesterday and he was so exhausted he could barely concentrate! I'm a teacher and have a double GCSE class today which I'm not sure I'll get through!!

We've tried earplugs but because she's in our room with us she's SO loud they don't help! DH said in no uncertain terms is she allowed on the bed with us (and to be honest I'd rather not have her on there as the bed is for us iykim....

DH said this morning he wants to move her crate back downstairs tonight and let her cry it out but I don't know what to do! Please help! 

We've tried to make her crate a haven, always hiding treats in there, favourite toys, cost blankets to make it dark like a den...nothing seems to be helping.

What are we doing wrong?


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## caz3 (Mar 27, 2014)

Hi Laura goodness u must be exhausted!!!I am first time owner of 8 mnth old cockapoo Harley he has never really liked his crate that much but was lucky I suppose as only had first week of sleepless nights he never uses the crate through choice even though the door is left open , dare I say without offending anyone you are maybe fussing too much, if she knows you are going to come at every whim she will play on this maybe you are trying too hard .It is very hard to decide what to do for the best and I am not hard by any means but lets face it we all need our sleep and it sounds like you are doing everything perfect with her night time routine she is obviously not very happy about it and they quickly learn barking , crying etc gets our attention.I personally would leave her if you know nothing is wrong and if she needs out to toilet in middle of the night dont speak or fuss her straight out and back to bed she will get the hang of it . Good luck hope you dont hav too many sleepless nights xxxx


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Poor you, it does sound like she really wants cuddles and is going to make a fuss until she gets them, I guess there is a choice, tough it out and don't give in - or (and I'm sure I know which a lot of people on here would prefer) let her on your bad for the night, bet she would snuggle quiet and happy then.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Rosie sounds as willful and as theatric as my Rufus, so my advice at this point is not to draw a line in the sand but to dig a sizable trench because these sorts of battles will only escalate.

She wins the battle if you let her in bed with you, you win if she stays in the crate, howling or not. Can we not collectively come up with a draw solution? By now she must be more reliable with her housetraining, can you pen her off in the kitchen or another area and ditch the crate? Another option is to get another dog to keep her company. 

We lost the battle with Rufus but have come to a truce over the intimacy issue which, happily, does not involve beastiality.


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## Very muddy (Jun 8, 2012)

Fairlie, that did make me laugh about the intimacy issues. Hee hee.

I am absolutely no expert and we've had a lot of trial and error with our Monty, but Monty HATED his crate no matter how fun we tried to make it (even the children pretended to go to sleep in it much to his amusement). Hubby is a 'no dog in the bedroom' type of guy unfortunately so Monty was left in the kitchen in the end with the crate door open and an alternative toasty dog bed near the radiator with cuddly animals etc. We inserted earplugs but he was much happier. Now, however, after a night of too much wine (us, not the dog) he now has the run of downstairs and sleeps on the sofa .....


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## KatandJesse888 (Oct 12, 2014)

I've had my cockapoo puppy just over a week now and she's 9 weeks old. Her first night was a bit tricky, she cried a bit, I discovered a hot water bottle settles her very well  she still wakes about 4:30 every morning at the minute though


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

It wasn't until I brought them into the bed that I actually had a full night's rest. Now that I'm confident that they will use the doggie door I sleep the sleep of the dead, which means I move around and make lots of noise so no one is in the bed with me come the morning. I feel your pain as I was in the same boat. I just don't think you are keen on what worked for us. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Zoay (Oct 4, 2014)

Goodness that sounds like hard work.

I had to laugh the other night; my husband and I were in bed, child sneaked into the middle after a bad dream, cat was snoring at the end of the bed and Max the puppy snoozed by me in the crate. Five in the bedroom.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

I love shared bed stories!


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

fairlie said:


> I love shared bed stories!


 I fear this thread may take a sudden plunge into innuendo or blatant confessions 

Eventually you and your pup will work this out .... how old is the child still creeping into your bed?


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## Zoay (Oct 4, 2014)

Young enough to still need the occasional night's security!


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

My daughter was still trying to squeeze in at over 10!!!! Some time in the last year she seems to have decided she can cope without us!


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## Laura1990 (Jul 28, 2014)

Thanks everyone for the advice...I suppose I should be grateful we don't have kids keeping us up too!

Rosie's 14 weeks and 70% there with toilet training but I don't think I'd trust her to be loose downstairs; to be honest I'm not sure how much it would help, as I leave her downstairs in the morning when I'm having a shower and she barks then! 

I don't want to be cruel but I think toughing it out might be the way to go...eventually she has to settle right?? We're a bit worried about the neighbours, we live in a semi and whilst no one has complained yet I'm really worried that if we leave her she will bark and cry all night and keep the whole street up!

Being a poo mummy is the best (and sometimes the most stressful!) thing ever.

Here's a picture of the little minx - looking like butter wouldn't melt!


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Oh you must be so tired  I do think having a puppy is like having a baby/toddler in that they go through phases and you look back and almost forget how bad it was. We use a crate and it's in the room right next to our bedroom which seems to work. I think he can hear us sleeping (snoring!!). There are some fabulous people here with a wealth of experience to offer...hang in there


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Have you tried putting in a puppy heat pat, ticking clock, covering with a blankie, and giving her an item of your clothing? This is what worked for Lola who was awful initially in her crate. I also think having the crate in a smaller but cool room like home office or utility is better, Lola hated the kitchen and I think it was because it was too big and she didn't feel secure.


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## Sandhya333 (May 18, 2014)

Don't feel qualified enough to venture an opinion on this as Barney was nowhere near as bad at nights, though it did take him a good couple of months to settle. 

However, two pieces of advice I was given, which really helped is the following:

Minimise water last thing at night, which will make them less likely to want to go to the toilet in the middle of the night.

The other is to play hard with her last thing before bed. Really exhaust her, with mental and physical games, training, ball, chase etc. They are usually so tired, they collapse.

Good luck - and I'm so sorry this is becoming so stressful for you. These puppies are a real joy (most of the time).


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## Laura1990 (Jul 28, 2014)

Well I don't really know what to say...we moved Rosie's crate downstairs and we've had 3 nights are her sleeping right through from 10:30 - 6am. No whining, no waking up in th night, no crying mess in her crate. We're so unbelievably happy and proud of our girl! 

Thanks everyone for your advice and support but we are definitely out of the woods on this one - in to the next cockapoo mummy drama!


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Maybe one of you snores are was disturbing her sleep?  very glad this issue has been resolved!


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

So so pleased to hear this Laura1990  Well done for being patient and sorting the issue- now, enjoy your rest!


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## Willow596 (Jun 5, 2014)

Ahhh, it's always so great to pop back onto a thread and find out it's all come good!! 
So glad to hear that your first poo drama is now over! The picture of her is too cute, and yes, she does look like butter wouldn't melt!! 
All the best! Kirsty xxx


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## yorkshireflower (Sep 24, 2014)

We are picking out little poo up this weekend and not sure whether to leave downstairs or in the bedroom - How are you getting on?


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

"Minimise water last thing at night, which will make them less likely to want to go to the toilet in the middle of the night".

I would never recommend taking water away from a puppy for any reason. They are so dependent on us and a dog only drinks if it's thirsty so it just seems wrong to me.


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