# Reluctant husband … advice?



## Sassy

My dear husband of 32+ years was very tolerant of our cat. He recognized she was part of the package when we married. That cat eventually died and he encouraged me to adopt another. Our #2 girl was an absolute love. I used to say she was more dog-like than cat. She died in October and I've been in mourning her ever since. That's when I started yearning for a dog.

After months and months of moaning about a dog and concluding a cockapoo is the ideal breed for us, he agreed. (He had said that if I still feel this way after 6 months, he'd consider.) My little girl comes home in just a few weeks and Jacob is sending me all sorts of hints that it's not welcome. I suggested we get a gate for the kitchen and his response was "why don't you just get a wire cage?" Well, I had planned to get both: crate and a gate.

Not sure where to even consider putting this crate at night, but for sure, it won't be our bedroom. Does anyone have advice? Suggestions?

PS: Jacob is the early riser around here, but I know my whole schedule will need to change. I worry about Jacob much more than I do our new puppy. Suggestions?


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## Tinman

Give it time..... He will love your poo, 
Everybody loves a cockerpoo!!


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## Clarke

My hubby was exactly the same. That was until we got Darcey and now he is totally smitten! Your hubby will be too I can guarantee it.


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## fairlie

I think Florida Cockapoo (Kim) had the same thing with her husband and Piper, who is now his best buddy. This might sound harsh but if your husband does not warm to a cockapoo puppy, 30+ years or no 30+ years, I'd ditch him. That said, keep your expectations of what he'll do to help very low, that way you won't be disappointed. It wouldn't hurt to call your breeder now and ask if you can drop off a crate to acclimatize the puppy to. You could also drop off some puppy blankets with your scent now so the puppy feels he is going somewhere familiar. Put the crate as far from your bedroom as possible so the crying won't disturb your husband. Good luck and please vent to us if things get difficult ( with husband or with puppy).


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## emjon123

Snap! My husband was the same, as were my two children, even though they had wanted a dog for years. When I decided a dog would be good, nobody wanted one!

Everybody now loves Bailey, even the hardened heart! Only last week my husband was asked at work how his wee dog was doing, his answer - "my dog is brilliant, she is the best and I just love her". Not bad for someone who didn't want one.

They get under your skin!


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## Marzi

My OH of 28 years has always been a cat person. He realised, bless him, that love me love my dogs was my tag line. Over the years he has loved each of our dogs, not always instantly, but first Kiki and then little Dot have won him over and made him love them in away that none of the others ever managed and I think it is because these little fluffy people live to love and they are funny and happy and oh so giving.
It will be ok.... you'll remember writing this post a few months down the line when you are watching your Jacob loving his dog loving him ...


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## aberdeenann

Brilliant posts, there's hope for me yet. Though I have and continue to do my homework on Cockapoo's, hubby still in the no camp. (only cause I struggled so badly to come to terms with the passing of my last dog). He loves dogs, so hoping that he changes his mind. The moment he does, I'm ready to go!!!!! lol


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## Cat 53

Just read this out to my husband. His response.......ditch him! . Having a puppy is a big adjustment and hard ( but rewarding) work.....but mostly the shher Joy and love of life exhibited by a cockerpoo CANNOT help but steal the hardest heart and turn it to mush!


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## fairlie

aberdeenann said:


> Brilliant posts, there's hope for me yet. Though I have and continue to do my homework on Cockapoo's, hubby still in the no camp. (only cause I struggled so badly to come to terms with the passing of my last dog). He loves dogs, so hoping that he changes his mind. The moment he does, I'm ready to go!!!!! lol


 This is a trickier one because your husband is motivated by love for you. The answer is clearly to get two puppies! That way you won't become unhinged when one passes away. 

Marzi I hope your husband is allowed three cats?


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## Marzi

Cat 53 said:


> Just read this out to my husband. His response.......ditch him! . Having a puppy is a big adjustment and hard ( but rewarding) work.....but mostly the shher Joy and love of life exhibited by a cockerpoo CANNOT help but steal the hardest heart and turn it to mush!


Not what I expected Father Christmas to say 



fairlie said:


> This is a trickier one because your husband is motivated by love for you. The answer is clearly to get two puppies! That way you won't become unhinged when one passes away.
> 
> Three is better at staggered intervals, I could not bear a home without a dog.
> 
> Marzi I hope your husband is allowed three cats?
> 
> I honestly think he'd rather have another poo
> My mum is very allergic to cats, when the boys were little and wanted a kitten I used to say that they could have a kitten when Granny dies


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## fairlie

Good grief you guys need some cats. When your mum visits just dose her up with antihistamines.


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## Humspoff

My OH of 30 yrs is a bit like that. He has "nothing" to do with Obi but we catch him giving him cuddles every so often. And whilst we are away and get updates from our Doggie Carer, he is as interested as me and Child. Some men are just grumpy like that!


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## Marzi

These days it is bad enough just getting my mum to takes the meds that she has to take. Cats really bring out a pretty major reaction in her, when I was young I use to spend my pocket money on cat food and had a cat feeding station in the shed at the bottom of our garden 
When the boys were little and we were on holiday in the Balearics, J spent his holiday peso on sardines and he fed the feral cats and kittens that hung around the apartments. These days he'd rather have another collie.


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## aberdeenann

lol, good thinking Fairlie I'll have to suggest that, however as we have 2 cats already I don't think he'll go for it. I'll bide my time, but I know eventually he'll agree. Just hope it;s sooner rather that later.


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## Sassy

My sons all wanted me to get a cat, so they weren't helping my argument. I do have some hope though. The other day, when my kids came home complaining about their tough day at school, Jacob said quietly to me that "this dog will be good for them."

I think the issue here is that our little one is still too young to join her new family. I'm guessing that once she gets here, Jacob will be more than happy to have a crate AND a gate.

Here's a question for someone who has crate-trained your puppy: did you eventually remove the crate or is this a forever-thing? I envision the need for a crate when our puppy is little, but can't imagine using it forever.


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## emjon123

Bailey loved her crate but we took it ways at Christmas when she was around 18 months. She kept looking up at first as if looking for the top of the crate. She slept great that night in her bed without it and we have never looked back. I could not have coped without it when she was a puppy and when I left her I always knew she was safe and could not get near wires etc. she is old enough now to "behave" when no one is at home.

Some people choose to keep the crate for ever others up just have it a few months it is really up to you.


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## Cat 53

Marzi said:


> Not what I expected Father Christmas to say
> 
> 
> 
> fairlie said:
> 
> 
> 
> This is a trickier one because your husband is motivated by love for you. The answer is clearly to get two puppies! That way you won't become unhinged when one passes away.
> 
> Three is better at staggered intervals, I could not bear a home without a dog.
> 
> Marzi I hope your husband is allowed three cats?
> 
> I honestly think he'd rather have another poo
> My mum is very allergic to cats, when the boys were little and wanted a kitten I used to say that they could have a kitten when Granny dies
> 
> 
> 
> Father Christmas says.....'he's been a naughty boy. What does he expect?'
Click to expand...


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## fairlie

My guess is that half of the people here crated, half did not and of those that did, half still use them, half do not. It's up to you. For those whose decorating tastes are too "highbrow" for a crate you could always do this. (scroll down til the end tables).

http://www.accentondesign.net/blog/?Tag=dog%20beds


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## Marzi

Is your pup going to have been accustomed to the crate by the breeder?
Dot came to us when she was 10 weeks old and she was used to her crate. I shut her in it at night, but during the day from about 12 weeks I left the crate open during the day so she had access to the utility room and kitchen. She was usually asleep in her crate when I got home. By 5 months it was left open at night as well by 6 months I stopped shutting the baby gate in the kitchen so she was free to spend time with the other dogs.
By 7 months the crate had gone and I had reclaimed floor space.
I knew I did not want to use a crate long term. What do you want?


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## Sassy

Marzi, I really hope to share your same experience one day. My little one will be 8 weeks when I get her. She'll be used to some form of a crate, but with her siblings. I plan to keep her in the kitchen at night. That's the most centrally located spot in the house. If Jacob complains about the crate taking over our kitchen, I'll keep it in the laundry room. Eventually, I'd like to get rid of the crate. I guess I envision our puppy being too much a part of the family and I can't imagine sending her off once she's past that chew-everything-in-sight stage.


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## Nanci

My oldest poo was out of his crate at 9 months and his little sister at 8 months. Both transitioned just fine.


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## Goosey

I had a crate and a gate. Having said that I left the crate open at night and Molly settled in it ,but also she had a bed outside the crate so she was free to go as she pleased. I eventually removed the crate from the kitchen when she was 9 months. She now sleeps in the kitchen and is happy to do so. The gate just keeps her restricted to the kitchen when I'm out. 
These dogs are such fantastic dog, so much that I'm now waiting for poo number 2 to be born. I'm so excited can't wait to see my new addition .


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## Marzi

Goosey said:


> I had a crate and a gate. Having said that I left the crate open at night and Molly settled in it ,but also she had a bed outside the crate so she was free to go as she pleased. I eventually removed the crate from the kitchen when she was 9 months. She now sleeps in the kitchen and is happy to do so. The gate just keeps her restricted to the kitchen when I'm out.
> These dogs are such fantastic dog, so much that I'm now waiting for poo number 2 to be born. I'm so excited can't wait to see my new addition .


Number 2  How exciting. We need some updated Molly pics 

Crates.. when they are there you are constantly knocking into them, having to move them - but then when they are gone you realise that they were also useful ledges for dumping school bags/laundry basket etc on top of


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## Goosey

After a really short hair cut she had in January she has grown a nice length , but off to have a face trim next week so as soon as she has I will post some pictures. She's a big girl now and just had her first birthday in February! 
Number 2 is due mid April , I'm so excited to see the new arrivals


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