# Looking for some advice..



## Ralph95 (Sep 13, 2021)

Sorry in advance for the long post

I have a 16 week old cockapoo named Ralph, and we got him when he was 10 weeks old.
I’m struggling with separation issues. He is definitely a velcro pup for sure and follows you everywhere but he cannot be left in a room on his own or even sleep on his own.

He is happy as anything and Plays on his own, sleeps etc as long as you’re in the room with him. But as soon as you’re away from him either out or upstairs, it’s carnage.

We tried to crate train him, but he still every night just bites, licks, cry’s/barks and scratches to get out.
If I shut the back door, he jumps up at it and licks the window because he can’t get to you.

I’ve installed baby gates so that I’m still in sight but he just barks, cry’s, scratches etc until he can get to you. Same with the door being shut, just scratches it constantly and cry’s.

He is pretty good with his toilets, he takes himself outside, unless he can’t get to you or on his own then he wees/poos at the doors/baby gates etc

I’ve tried the stuffed kongs and special toys, toys he takes no interest in if we’re not around. The Kong, he’ll be distracted until it’s gone, then he realises he’s on his own and back to square one.

All the online forums say to wait it out a little until they calm down before going to them but he just doesn’t give you the chance, he’ll carry on crying until he has a toilet accident.

just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience with their pup and how they overcame it etc as I am definitely running out of ideas

Thanks
Lauren x


----------



## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

He needs to learn to cope on his own so you need to practice very short leavings so he can start to cope with it, anything where he gets upset is doing the vet opposite and so counter productive. Pups crying in a crate is not really crate training, they need to learn it is a good place so I would stop that and maybe have pup in a pen next to your bed until they learn to cope on their own. Similar with gates, you step outside the gate and come back straight away before pup gets upset and them repeat lots until they start to relax with it.


----------



## Ralph95 (Sep 13, 2021)

2ndhandgal said:


> He needs to learn to cope on his own so you need to practice very short leavings so he can start to cope with it, anything where he gets upset is doing the vet opposite and so counter productive. Pups crying in a crate is not really crate training, they need to learn it is a good place so I would stop that and maybe have pup in a pen next to your bed until they learn to cope on their own. Similar with gates, you step outside the gate and come back straight away before pup gets upset and them repeat lots until they start to relax with it.


Thank you!
We tried feeding in his crate, playing in his crate and he goes in and out of it throughout the day on his own but as soon as you shut the door that’s when he gets distressed so I’ll scrap that! Thanks for the tips, I’ll try the pen and the gate steps and see how he gets on.


----------



## RossLondon (Feb 4, 2021)

Ralph95 said:


> Sorry in advance for the long post
> 
> I have a 16 week old cockapoo named Ralph, and we got him when he was 10 weeks old.
> I’m struggling with separation issues. He is definitely a velcro pup for sure and follows you everywhere but he cannot be left in a room on his own or even sleep on his own.
> ...





Ralph95 said:


> Sorry in advance for the long post
> 
> I have a 16 week old cockapoo named Ralph, and we got him when he was 10 weeks old.
> I’m struggling with separation issues. He is definitely a velcro pup for sure and follows you everywhere but he cannot be left in a room on his own or even sleep on his own.
> ...



Hi Lauren, I have been and I still am dealing with my pup’s separation issues. He is 10 months old and only recently learned to stay calm when I’m not in the same room. He still cannot be left alone if I have to go outside, which is impacting a lot on my social life (or even go to the supermarket). I have been working on this for months with the help of a behaviourist and a trainer but it doesn’t seem to work. So the behaviourist and the vet now had us start anti anxiety medication and we are starting from scratch. The advice you have been given to practice short departures and desensitise the pup from departure cues is correct, but I hear from behaviourists that the lockdown has impacted a lot on cockapoos. My recommendation is to get a behaviourist as soon as possible and have a tailored training path detailed for your pup. It’ll be expensive and a long journey but worth it when you’ll start seeing results - and remember to celebrate every little progress, even 15 seconds of separation. Good luck!


----------



## Ralph95 (Sep 13, 2021)

RossLondon said:


> Hi Lauren, I have been and I still am dealing with my pup’s separation issues. He is 10 months old and only recently learned to stay calm when I’m not in the same room. He still cannot be left alone if I have to go outside, which is impacting a lot on my social life (or even go to the supermarket). I have been working on this for months with the help of a behaviourist and a trainer but it doesn’t seem to work. So the behaviourist and the vet now had us start anti anxiety medication and we are starting from scratch. The advice you have been given to practice short departures and desensitise the pup from departure cues is correct, but I hear from behaviourists that the lockdown has impacted a lot on cockapoos. My recommendation is to get a behaviourist as soon as possible and have a tailored training path detailed for your pup. It’ll be expensive and a long journey but worth it when you’ll start seeing results - and remember to celebrate every little progress, even 15 seconds of separation. Good luck!





RossLondon said:


> Hi Lauren, I have been and I still am dealing with my pup’s separation issues. He is 10 months old and only recently learned to stay calm when I’m not in the same room. He still cannot be left alone if I have to go outside, which is impacting a lot on my social life (or even go to the supermarket). I have been working on this for months with the help of a behaviourist and a trainer but it doesn’t seem to work. So the behaviourist and the vet now had us start anti anxiety medication and we are starting from scratch. The advice you have been given to practice short departures and desensitise the pup from departure cues is correct, but I hear from behaviourists that the lockdown has impacted a lot on cockapoos. My recommendation is to get a behaviourist as soon as possible and have a tailored training path detailed for your pup. It’ll be expensive and a long journey but worth it when you’ll start seeing results - and remember to celebrate every little progress, even 15 seconds of separation. Good luck!


Hi,
Thank you for your reply, sorry you’re experiencing the same as me. It gives me a bit of comfort know it’s not just me however, I know how difficult it can be at times!
I hope the training/plan with your pup works for you, I’m definitely going to speak to a behaviourist as everything I’ve tried so far doesn’t seem to be working.
Keep me updated on your progress


----------



## RossLondon (Feb 4, 2021)

Thank you - you too. I had dogs before but this is the first time I am really struggling to cope with the amount of work this all requires. I hope you have someone to share this responsibility with and I hope you’ll find a way through with the behaviourist!


----------



## Luke1307 (Nov 11, 2021)

RossLondon said:


> Hi Lauren, I have been and I still am dealing with my pup’s separation issues. He is 10 months old and only recently learned to stay calm when I’m not in the same room. He still cannot be left alone if I have to go outside, which is impacting a lot on my social life (or even go to the supermarket). I have been working on this for months with the help of a behaviourist and a trainer but it doesn’t seem to work. So the behaviourist and the vet now had us start anti anxiety medication and we are starting from scratch. The advice you have been given to practice short departures and desensitise the pup from departure cues is correct, but I hear from behaviourists that the lockdown has impacted a lot on cockapoos. My recommendation is to get a behaviourist as soon as possible and have a tailored training path detailed for your pup. It’ll be expensive and a long journey but worth it when you’ll start seeing results - and remember to celebrate every little progress, even 15 seconds of separation. Good luck!


So, I have had alot of luck with carrying my 5 month old cockapoo in a sling when I shop locally, I have a car box in my car where she can be safely tethered, basically take her wherever I can whenever I can. I have a comfy sling for her that I bought on Amazo. For like 15 dollars. When I'm doing cooking or light things around the house and can't watch her, after I've given her exercise time inside and walked her, it keeps her out of trouble, let's her take a nice snuggly nap, I've taken her to the mall in it, most people don't even notice she's there. That way, her crate time is really just nap time. She's happy to have it, cries for a minute and then goes to sleep. She's also teething so I leave plenty of toys inside and out. But she is potty training, so I don't want her unattended for too long. The sling has been wonderful to let her enjoy our lives with us. I brought her to my sons football game in it, she was able to see lots of people and things. I brought my leash with us so she could have a walk there. I think socializing her has been the best thing. So when it's time for crate, when I have to vacuum or such and can't watch her, She's tired and okay. Highly recommend the sling for inside and outside the house. Also good for when it's a busy time at home, kids running about, or such, you can scoop her up and make her comfy for a bit. She hasn't had a problem with the crate because while she is in there when necessary, she's socialized most of the day. Good luck!


----------

