# Dogs and kids play dates



## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

So I have this dilemma. Whenever kids are invited to my house for a play date I always ask the parent if they are ok with dogs. Most are with the exception of one friend who won't send her kids here. She insists my kids go to hers...her dog fear, not the kids but she is passing it on to them quite nicely.... 

Anyway, now we have two dogs and one of them a very excited, jumpy puppy I am finding more and more that the kids are saying they are frightened of the dogs and I'm having to crate them for the whole duration of the play date. This can be as much as 2.5 to 3 hours and it's beginning to annoy me that i have to do this. 

What do others with kids and friends do? Am I being unrealistic and should accept that the dogs have to be kept away...or should I make a stance and say if you come to mine its dogs allowed out and kept under control by me.


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## Janev1000 (Oct 4, 2011)

I haven't yet had that issue as my youngest is nine and all of his friends seem to be very accepting of dogs. However, it does seem a bit unfair for you to have to crate them and I wouldn't be happy having to do that personally....they would whine the house down! I would definitely go for the second option of having them out and kept under your control...I think that is a very reasonable option. x


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

I never shut my dog away when my kids were little. With the exception of a very small child it was love me love my dog! One of my sons was scared of dogs when he was small and I made sure he met lots of dogs until he got over it.


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

I think you know my thoughts


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## flounder_1 (May 12, 2011)

As you know Clare - Lolly can be very bouncy and jumpy with excitement when new people arrive at the house. I tend to put her on her lead so that I can control her excitement without letting her overpower or alarm younger guests. After they have been here 5 minutes and she has said hello in a calm way she tends to get bored with them and I can let her off her lead.

I would advise any children who say they are scared to go and play in a bedroom with the door shut or send them out into the garden if it's fine weather where the dogs can't get to them. I wouldn't be happy to crate the dogs either - we don't even have a crate anymore! Obviously as Roo grows a bit older and is less nippy things will be easier I'm sure.


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

I can't imagine anyone being scared of the adorable Roo!


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## wilfiboy (Sep 18, 2010)

You would think from the kids perspective the dogs having to be 'caged' would just make the kids worse. I'd stick with your plan, like Janet says once the greetings over the dogs probably won't be that interested. You be assertive me dear and stick to your guns


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## Janev1000 (Oct 4, 2011)

I would also go for the shut door option too. We have a separate family room so I would suggest a nervous child went there....failing that an upstairs bedroom. x


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

My kids are older and all their friends come to see our dogs more than play with the kids lol, yep the dogs go crazy (off command ummm) and so do the kids .. its all part of the fun .. but the dogs calm down and the kids go home .. happy play date lol. 

You could try keeping the dogs in one room ie kitchen, lounge and then the kids can get on and have a good play ... and when the kids go upstairs to play  you just get cuddles with Obi and Roo  

It must be harder with younger kids or kids who are scared of dogs though ...


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Have never crated any of my dogs so the problem has never arisen. After the initial greeting my dogs have generally found a quiet corner and gone to sleep.


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## Kody&Beau (Aug 18, 2012)

Hi Clare,

As you know my boys are older but if I had younger kids who had friends coming to play I think I would perhaps just keep the dogs in the kitchen with me but definitely wouldn't crate them it's your home and to be honest if any kids come round that are not too keen on dogs then I would just say go and play upstairs. X


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

I think the problem is worse because Roo is still so young and is at that nippy/biting stage. I know it will get easier. 

I was pleased to read replies that endorse my feelings on not keeping the dogs locked up and on the next play date the dogs will be out in the open plan kitchen/family room and/or garden. If the visiting children don't like it they can go upstairs or go home! lol. Thanks everyone!


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

Hi Clare!
I always used to put my dog in her crate when we had lots of people over, or when kids were around...it was acutally my stick up the bum brother in law who said to me. "it is your house and your dog, if you want her out, let her out!" wonderful words from someone who is generally not a happy person.


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## ali-s.j. (Jun 6, 2011)

When Phoebe was little and nippy the kids used to love coming to our house to play "don't touch the floor or Phoebe will bite your ankles" - when they got bored with that game, they went and played upstairs :laugh: I agree with others, and your gut feeling Clare, it is your home and your dogs are part of your family, and most importantly, they are nice dogs! It will be great for kids who don't have pets to come and interact with them, and as for the mother who won't let her child come over, how sad that her child is missing out


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## Kt77 (Sep 20, 2012)

One of the reasons we are getting a dog is because my son is petrified of them to the point he refuses to go our friends house since they've had their Charles spaniel. He seems to make a beeline to play with him too whereas my 19 month old he will go and lick her face say hello then ignore her. 
Ultimately they are part of your family and its their house too. I'd send the kids upstairs.


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## DebsH (Jun 24, 2012)

Coming at this from the other point of view - I have no dogs (yet!) and young kids who are a bit wary of dogs. 
When we go to my friend who has a very large (and loveable!) staffie, she is kept upstairs when the kids arrive and only let down when the kids have calmed down and got distracted with toys and games. The first few visits my kids were pretty freaked out but they soon got used to her 

That said, it was my friends decision to keep the dog away to begin with. There's no way I would insist a dog be locked away, but I must admit if my kids were genuinely scared it would put me off going on a play date. Only because I'd spend the whole time reassuring my kids instead of drinking tea and eating cake. After all, isn't that what playdates are for?!


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

I normally keep Weller in the kitchen or just with me when there are kids here, for his safety and well being not because the kids are frightened.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

I think it is important to be careful - too easy for jumpy excited puppy to catch soft child skin and scratch or nip it. Then child becomes more frightened and possibly their parents get all anti dogish. My eldest child is now 19. When he was little we had a GSD and a jack russell - since then we've had various dogs and lots of children in and out of the house to play with our kids. Sometimes it is kinder to let the dogs have some peace! We have a baby gate in the kitchen door way so the dogs can be restricted, but still seen. I always used to take kids and dogs out for a walk, visiting children loved holding the lead or throwing a ball, or playing hide and seek with the dogs - very quickly some children wanted to come to our house to walk the dogs (more than play with my children!!) I also involve them in feeding the dogs and am quick to tell them how they need to behave around the dogs. They absolutely love doing tricks with the dogs and our collie Inzi is a super star and will do whatever anyone tells her as long as they throw the ball. Kiki I hope will be the same!


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

I think the mother who doesn't let her child come to you is foolish. It's not like you have a Rottweiler is it? Growing up with a fear of dogs must be so restricting, when my son had a fear of dogs it was a great incentive to get my own. Perhaps the child has picked up the fear from his mother.
I must admit though I am generally not overkeen on staffies and in my local park people walk their dogs in the opposite direction when a very nice man brings his resue staffi along! I think it's their reputation and the size if its jaws!


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## BeckyP (Mar 21, 2012)

We had just this thing last night, my 7 year olds best friend is scared of dogs....even teeny 15 week old Kipper. We just kept him in the kitchen and they played upstairs. At teatime she needed lots of encouragement to come into the room where Kipper was fast asleep in his bed. We've never crated him in the daytime, and it would have been a bit self defeating to wake up a sleeping dog by moving him to his crate. And why should I anyway? I told her I would make sure he behaved himself, and kept away from her. She managed to eat her tea at the table with only a few glances over to make sure he was still asleep. Success!

I'm hoping she'll learn to love him as she spends more time around him. Dogs can seem unpredictable , and although I see him as tiny, I suppose he's a lot bigger relative to her, and with sharp teeth so I am trying to understand it and be patient.


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## Pepster (Jul 22, 2011)

Both I and my son were really scared of dogs. I was bitten twice as a child, once by my friend's GSD and once by an over excited puppy going through it's nippy stage (which I didn't know, I just knew Ihad a dog attached to my knee and I couldn't shake it off!) my daughter was wary but ok, I tried hard not to pass on my fear, but then when I had my Son my Mum took him to the park As a toddler and a black lab went for him, it jumped over a high garden fence to get to him so from then on he was hysterical if a dog came near him. My friend bought a choc lab and Jack was petrified and would only play upstairs so she told me she couldn't be bothered to let him come over again. It would have been more helpful to have the dog under control and to try and build jacks confidence. In the end I decided that we needed to get over our fear, I didn't want my kids to be so afraid as I had been so that was part of why we got Pepper and it has worked! We walk by dogs that we would ve given a wide berth before and pet most dogs that we meet. It certainly was the best thing to do. When. pepper was little and bitey I would have her on the lead when kids were over and got her to sit while they gave her treats and to keep her occupied and under control. Now if I have very small children over I put her on the lead very occasionally Especially if she's not settling, and if I meet any children who are scared when we are out, I get Pepper to sit, I put my foot on the lead so she can't jump up and I help them to pet her on her side. I once was walking up to school and there was a lady with her 5year old in front of us and the little girl was looking at Pepper and her mum said "come on quickly before that dog gets you!" silly woman!!!
I know it's a pain when kids are scared but it is good for them to get over their fear in a controlled manner. I wouldn't lock the dog in it's crate but I would put it in the kitchen for a few minutes till things have calmed.


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## KCsunshine (Apr 16, 2012)

We have this all the time, particularly as Coco is sooo bitey at the moment. If the visiting child does not like dogs, I always ask them to play upstairs where Coco won't go. Coco sits at the bottom of the stairs waiting for an unsuspecting child to bite! it's great, play dates are really quiet for me these days, lol!

I may crate her while the kids have their tea in the kitchen, but that would only be for half an hour. Then at the end of the play date I tell the kids and their friends to tidy up their mess in the room or I'll let Coco upstairs, lol!


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## Lozzie (Apr 1, 2012)

I had the weirdest encounter with a child a few months ago- we were at an event inside a large marquee looking at stalls with Willow closely under control by my side. Suddenly Willow let out a bark (another dog had walked past and startled her) and a boy (maybe about 9ish) came over to me and said "excuse me but I don't like high pitched noises". I was like, "OK, I'll try not to let her do it again but you can see I was holding her and couldn't really stop her". He just said something like "well I don't like it, so please don't let her do it" and walked off! I'm an assistant leader at a Rainbow pack so I know kids but this is by far the weirdest thing I've ever heard!!


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

It sounds like something an aspergers child might say. It sounds pretty typical and he probably felt compelled to tell you. Just my guess.


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

I agree Tess, my son has mild Aspergers and I've met many autistic children over the years. The directness of the boys approach and how he was quite specific sounds very likely of a child on the autistic spectrum. Sometimes my sons bluntness has me in stitches.


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Yep I agree the direct approach does sound like a child on the spectrum ... something else I feel passionate about .. kids, old people and dogs  ...


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## sugar (Aug 15, 2012)

Hi
I have exactly the same problem with my daughters friends (she is 5) my sons friends who are older are fine. 

To be honest I find it hard to be sympathetic sometimes as their reactions are sooo over the top! Screaming and running away which gets the Poppy even more excited. Poppy is just 16 weeks and as bouncy puppy's go she really isn't too bad but she wants to play. I have begrudgingly crated her for hours too but now because it's stressful for me to try and control their reactions. I've opted for a bit of both now. She is on the lead for greetings, then once the screaming and crying starts she is in the crate for a bit. Once they are playing happily I let her out again and often they are fine and don't react too much. But I now refuse to keep her locked up for hours on end in her own house. Sorry for the long post and good luck!


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## Lozzie (Apr 1, 2012)

Ahhh I hadn't even thought of Aspergers!! My best friends dad has it so my only experience of it is with an adult but thinking about it now that would totally fit!! Especially with the way that he was so insistant on carrying on the conversation after he had made his point! I'll view that experience in a totally different light now! Thanks for pointing that out everyone!


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