# Kids teasing the pooch



## Helsbelles (Jul 19, 2013)

Hello, 

Rosie is 9 months old now and is lively and full of fun, this obviously is a magnet to my 4 year old son who loves her but constantly runs around chasing her, throwing her toys and sometimes teasing her. I like the fact he plays with her and he's safe as I'm always in the room as it's an open plan living space but if I want to get on it can get a bit much really and I'm finding it hard to deal with, as much as I tell him that she won't be his friend if he keeps teasing her and explaining why he shouldn't tease, he like lots of small kids, still does. I don't want to keep putting the dog in the pen. Its really getting me down now so I'm after advice really how to deal with this? Does anyone else have young kids who do this and how do they cope? My daughter is great and a lot more gentle with Rosie. My main concern is primarily if the dog nips him if she gets wound up (she has a lovely temperament generally), if it will encourage an aggressive streak in the dog?

I don't want to give Rosie up I'm far too attached now but when it gets hair-raising with them both running around and excited the stress really gets me down. I am also dealing with anxiety at the moment too and this obviously exacerbates this too.

Advice again please.


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

Relax - my billy the kid is 4 years old, and I have Ralph who is a 17 month old Cockapoo, and ruby who is one year old today Cockapoo.
Billy can tease my two, he has been told time & time again, when ruby was much smaller she would growl at him and put him in his place a couple of times - she is now much more mellow. Ralph has on occasions, made a noise and mouthed him....... (Usually when billy is sticking his foot in his mouth while we are relaxing on the couch!) but Never bit him - but it has shocked billy, Ralph has been put in his crate and billy gets told no - as he has been told on numerous occasions.
I think Ralph sees my son billy below him in the pecking order.
Billy plays lovely with the dogs and throws their toys, and balls for Ralph - but he can also want the dogs toys for himself!! (He's an only child lol) 
And they adore him when he gets in from school they are so excited they actually end up putting him on the floor. 
And billy speaks to the dogs in such a funny little way - like when you talk to a toddler.
I do try and supervise at all times, and if I am going to be out of the room (have a shower for example) I will crate the dogs. 
Billy is getting much better & the dogs more tolerant. 
The Cockapoo is not a snappy breed - but you can never be too careful, and it's good that you reinforce this to your son. X


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## Helsbelles (Jul 19, 2013)

Thanks Tinman for your reply it's reassured me I'm doing all the same things as someone whos been through similar thing and hopefully things will become calmer over time


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

I don't have kids so take what I say with a grain of nonparenthood salt, but seems like you want to correct the child's behavior but are giving consequences to the dog. Just a non parent thought. 


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## Nanci (Mar 1, 2012)

Helen . . . . I'm the mother of 2 grown daughters and 7 grandchildren and retired nurse of 34 yrs and your story brought to mind 2 stories in my family about the intelligence and understanding of very young children. One is to long but even better than this one and was 1st hand experience . . . but I will share my sisters story of when her daughter was 3 yrs old and seemed to honestly have a hearing loss as she would TOTALLY ignore my sister at times and I witnessed this as well. My sister took her to the pediatrician as this was becomming quite a concern . . . not to mention very aggravating and puzzeling. The Dr. listened to her story and without hesitation took her daughter by the hand and told them to follow him. He walked out into a large lobby of his office and told my neice to wait in one corner as he walked about 50 feet to the other side. He turned his back to her and WHISPERED "Honey . . . what flavor of lolly pop would you like?" She immediatly yelled out "CHERRY!!" I was soooo impressed with this experiment and the intelligence of a little 3 yr old girl that she fooled the entire family!!! My opinion of your situation is probably obvious . . . baring any disabilities you may not have mentioned . . . your son is old enough to understand and obey your guidiance of his behaviour towards your pets . . . the reinforcement is the hard part . . . but the lessons he learns from you about certain intolerances will be remembered his entire lifetime. Best wishes


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi try not to feel down on yourself or that you will have to give up your dog. You have a long way to go before you get there!
I have two children one 8 and one 4 although both are girls so I do understand that boys can be a little more of a handful, however regarding the dog it's really important that your little boy learns this lesson, it's a matter of safety for him and for Rosie. If Rosie gets to the end of her tether she will bite and that results in an injured child and a dog PTS.
Playing between your boy and Rosie is absolutely fine, you are doing the right thing and supervising and it will create a strong loving bond between them. Teasing though is definitely not ok. Everytime you little boy teases or oversteps the boundary with Rosie the game has to end. I personally would use the naughty step or bedroom for a time out for the child. Don't forget you are training two children simultaneously here!  same for Rosie, if she gets too wound up during a game and gets too excited, end the game and put her somewhere for a cool off. You do have a huge advantage with your son as you can verbally explain his mistakes and eventually he will get the message, being mean to the puppy means that he gets taken to his room and no more fun with Rosie. Be consistent and I promise it will pay off with both of them. They will both calm down as the get a little older and have a mutual understanding of the rules. The main one of which is that you are in charge and respect must be shown to EVERYONE. Please ensure that Rosie and your son are not unattended though, as much can happen in a few moments!
I don't know if anyone else has heard the story of the loyal loving family golden retriever that while trusted and left unattended with the young child, seemed to suddenly snap and badly attack the child, no one could understand how this happened,until the post Mortem on the dog revealed a crayon shoved in his ear. Of course it was not the dogs fault but he paid the biggest price. So don't feel bad about crating Rosie if you cannot supervise all the time, no one can do that but crating or putting her in her pen will give you peace of mind and maybe a well earned 15 mins off. 
It does calm down and your son and Rosie will be the best of friends growing up but it just takes some hard work just at the moment. It really is just another aspect of training, the dog and child.


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## Helsbelles (Jul 19, 2013)

Hi thanks all for your further advice. I did do a longer reply to Tinman last night but then my pc crashed only had time for quick thanks. The former reply did say that I never leave my kids anywhere alone with Rosie, if anything I'm super health and safety conscious even more so because of my anxiety and the news stories of dogs biting sometimes fills me with dread so I'm fully aware of the dangers even a few seconds unattended can be. I hadn't heard that particular story about the lab and it's awful and serves as a reminder to all dog owners. Before we got Rosie I fully researched any incidents of biting of cockapoos/poodles/spaniels etc and didn't go into dog ownership lightly, it was after months of research, and the responsibility of training the dog as an owner I took very seriously too. Rosie is therefore had structured puppy training course and continues to have training at home.

I'm glad to hear I'm on the right lines and it can be like having another child Karen lol! Thanks for the tips :0)


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

My guess is your boy and pup will come to a mutual understanding on their own at some point and the problem will be solved. The real trouble is that both will generalize the experience and your dog might get too exuberant around small children who cannot manage it and your boy might do the same with a cranky dog one day and be hurt. If it was me I'd explicitly explain the rules of fair play to your son and from then instantly punish teasing with a time out of as many minutes as his age. He needs to learn that he must always be nice and so does the dog.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Dogs and children can work so well together and there are such benefits for both. My children have all grown up with dogs and I think they are very, very lucky to have done so. MY boys are now near enough 21 & 18 and I still tell them off for teasing the dogs 
All the advice you have already received is brilliant. It is also worth telling your son that if Rosie growls at him he *MUST* stop bothering her and leave her alone, because she is not happy. Don't tell Rosie off for growling, it is her way of saying 'Please stop'.
Always be careful of Rosie with your son's friends, she will love him and put up with stuff from him because he is family and part of her pack - she might not be so understanding with a stranger.
Keep on going - your son is very lucky to have Rosie to share his childhood with and she will be a friend to him as he grows up. Nothing like a cuddle, walk or game of football with your four footed friend when your human pals or parents don't understand you.

One other thing do get your son to help with Rosie - feeding her doing simple training, walking her (where it is safe for him to do so) - if she is a puller you can attach two leads to her collar, one for your son to hold, one for you, even picking up poo (practice with him picking up pieces of duplo or playdough). The more he does with and for her, the more they will learn to respect each other. Also have some special treats that only he can give to her - one before he goes to school, one when he comes home and one before he goes to bed.


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## Stela12 (Mar 1, 2012)

Marzi said:


> Dogs and children can work so well together and there are such benefits for both. My children have all grown up with dogs and I think they are very, very lucky to have done so. MY boys are now near enough 21 & 18 and I still tell them off for teasing the dogs
> All the advice you have already received is brilliant. It is also worth telling your son that if Rosie growls at him he *MUST* stop bothering her and leave her alone, because she is not happy. Don't tell Rosie off for growling, it is her way of saying 'Please stop'.
> Always be careful of Rosie with your son's friends, she will love him and put up with stuff from him because he is family and part of her pack - she might not be so understanding with a stranger.
> Keep on going - your son is very lucky to have Rosie to share his childhood with and she will be a friend to him as he grows up. Nothing like a cuddle, walk or game of football with your four footed friend when your human pals or parents don't understand you.
> ...


Great advice from everyone, but I just LOVE reading all Marzi's posts-you are so knowledgeable and I've learned so much reading everything you say. I think I'll use your advice for my son having his own , special treat for Stela.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Dogs don't have limitless patience and too often if the dog does retaliate they are labelled as the ones with the problem. One of the reasons Molly was rehomed was aggression towards the family kids, does she like children - yes, is she safe around children - generally yes, will she tolerate pulling around or teasing - no

In your position I would be putting some rules in place for both pup and youngster so they can enjoy growing up together rather than risk the pup having a bad day and something bad happening.

This is a lovely website with rules and child friendly cartoons you could use

http://drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/kids-and-dogs-how-kids-should-and-should-not-interact-with-dogs


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## Helsbelles (Jul 19, 2013)

Really useful advice yet again, many thanks I'm feeling much brighter about it all today. I have already written the Dog Rules on the kitchen chalk board and my son had 2 visits to the naughty step with explanation of why. I did do this to some degree before but may have not enforced it every time. If I do have to pen the dog to get on I never do it in a punishment way, I talk sweetly to her and tell her she's a good girl and sometimes give her a little treat. 

He does sometimes help with training but I've never thought of the 2 leads which is a great idea as he does ask to hold the lead so I will definitely try this, and he will love the special treat idea (his sister is really good and will understand it is to help with my sons bonding with the dog).

I really appreciate everyone's time spent replying to my post


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

Stela12 said:


> Great advice from everyone, but I just LOVE reading all Marzi's posts-you are so knowledgeable and I've learned so much reading everything you say. I think I'll use your advice for my son having his own , special treat for Stela.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

I too love reading both Marzi and Wellerfellers posts .....a wealth of information and always written so well 

xxx


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## alexdo (Oct 26, 2013)

I had problems with my 4 year old and our puppy, part jealousy and attention seeking (my child) and part just not understanding how to behave.
It got to the point where the puppy was snapping and barking at her and tearing her clothes and I even brought in the lady who runs in the puppy training class to take a look and give advice. If you like I can send you a copy of her long list of changes she suggested!

Thankfully things settled down but my daughter is too young to ever stay on her own with the dog!


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

I would love to see the list please!


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## alexdo (Oct 26, 2013)

*Here are the recommendations:*

1) New house rules

a) Supervise the children with your dog at all times.

b) Children to leave the dog alone if she is in her bed or asleep anywhere.

c) No more picking up, squeezing the dog, lying on her or generally being rough. She is a small puppy, not a toy.

d) If the children want to give the dog attention, they call her to them, ask her to sit and then they can fuss her.

2) We need to improve the relationship your dog has with the children to make it more positive, so please involve them in feeding and walks etc under close supervision.

3) Please make sure the children spend 5 minutes a day each, training the dog with some sits, downs, offs and calling games as I showed them on Wednesday (under supervision).

4) Please restructure the day and times when your dog is with the children and if they are lively and not listening to you, keep her away from them.

5) Please install a dog gate across the kitchen and practice asking the dog to sit at the gate to greet the children.

6) No more tug or wrestling games.

7) Please keep a diary of any growling incidents.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

It sounds like you have a fabulous trainer. I am so glad you are doing all this and not giving up and rehoming her which is what happens to a lot of puppies when the novelty wears off for the family and the dog hates children for having being tormented by them or sees them as litter mates on an equal footing.


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