# My 7yo vs. the puppy



## SPCnut (Apr 25, 2012)

*My 7yo vs. the puppy - Update in Original Posting*

Hello! My first time posting but looking for any advice as I feel like I am on my last thread.

I have 2 girls - 10 and 7. My 10yo is an avid animal lover; rides horses, takes kindly to any sort of animal, ... your typical "I want to be a vet when I grow up gal"! My 7yo is dealthy afraid of anything from the size of a lady bug to an elephant. Complete opposites!! The 10yo has been asking for a dog since birth. We knew that eventually since it was her passion that we would get a dog so that she can develop what she loves and have that life long compannion. My 7yo loves animals too - stuffed ones - but also loved the idea of getting a dog too except for the fact that they are alive and have teeth and sharp claws.

Fast forward to April 5 -- we brought 8wo Daisy home  She was our 4lb, F1 cockapoo that has been awesome from day 1. She has been a wonderful addition to our family and the 7yo loves her as along as she is sitting on top of the couch. My problem is this -- I cannot take it any more!!! I cannot handle the "Where is Daisy?", "Is someone holding Daisy so I can get to the dinner table?", "I have to go potty - is someone holding Daisy?" How much more of this do I take? It has been 4 weeks and it is getting VERY old. Our morning school routine has multiplied by 1000% in stress. Someone has to be holding Daisy all the time so that the 7yo can step foot on the carpet. 

Please tell me what to do??? Do I just go cold turkey at this point and quit giving in? I must confess that when I was 5yo we got a cockapoo puppy, Kibbles, and I was the same way. My parents so tell me that they think I wasn't quite as bad  

Thanks for listening to my rambling  Just needed to vent and looking for any advice anyone may have to offer that may have gone through something similar.

Jill & Daisy (now 12wo and a whopping 6.1lbs -- so much to be frightened by )
*
Update - June 12*
I had to post this picture. This was from this past weekend while at our camper (please excuse the mess!). Lane (now my 8yo) out of nowhere got off the couch and started walking around with Daisy on the ground. Bob's and my jaws HIT the floor! We could not believe what we were seeing. She took a huge step forward in the right direction. Since coming home, she has resorted back to her "usual" ways, but we know there is a hint of improvement. Woo hoo! 

Thankfully Daisy has become much more laid back. She started loosing teeth this past week and is a lot less nippy. She just wants to chew now. I think Lane is seeing this and knows what a wonderful puppy she really is


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## KCsunshine (Apr 16, 2012)

I dont have any experience of this, but am about to when we get our pup in August, my son (9) is terrified of all animals, my 7 yo daughter is the one desperate fora puppy. We've been straight up with my son and told him yes, you will get scratched and nipped for a while until we train her not too. I intend to get my son hands on as much as possible straight away to lessen his fear, and I think once he dies get nipped, he will realise it is not as bad as he is imagining! Maybe get the puppy at it's most quiet time, you hold her head gently so she can't reach your daughter to nip her, then get your daughter to stroke her, as her confidence increases gradually let go of her head. I'd do this everyday for a week and see if things improve. Other than that at high stress times like getting ready for school can you use a crate, or a stair gate to keep puppy away just until your daughter is at school?


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## emmelg (Mar 4, 2012)

My 8yr old is the same, it can be really annoying especially morning times (i agree)
He's getting a bit more used to him now, when baileys sleepy (definatley not first thing in the morning) i get him to sit by him on the floor and stroke him, it's definatley getting
better and i'm hoping when he's no longer in his puppy stage that he will be cured  as he's fine with our older dog (fingers crossed)

Leanne x


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Do you have a crate? If not I would definitely get one, I couldn't have coped with Dudley without one. If I have to spend any time away from him doing anything he goes in the crate and settles down in there immediately. I have an 11 year old and he is really good with Dudley but even he get gets fed up with the biting, its a shame as he would love a cuddle before he goes to bed but Dudley is usually in a biting mood then. I don't think all the pups are like this so KCSunshine you maybe ok. I actually childmind as well and I have had to resort to having Dudley attached to me by his lead (just thread it through my jeans belt loop), this means the children can have toys out that he would otherwise be eating and they know he can't get at them, he seems calmer during those times as well. A good idea in the garden is to have a toy (I have a rope/ball toy) that has a longish piece of string attached to it, the children can run and pull this behind them and the puppy will chase the toy instead of them.


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## emmelg (Mar 4, 2012)

DB1 said:


> Do you have a crate? If not I would definitely get one, I couldn't have coped with Dudley without one. If I have to spend any time away from him doing anything he goes in the crate and settles down in there immediately. I have an 11 year old and he is really good with Dudley but even he get gets fed up with the biting, its a shame as he would love a cuddle before he goes to bed but Dudley is usually in a biting mood then. I don't think all the pups are like this so KCSunshine you maybe ok. I actually childmind as well and I have had to resort to having Dudley attached to me by his lead (just thread it through my jeans belt loop), this means the children can have toys out that he would otherwise be eating and they know he can't get at them, he seems calmer during those times as well. A good idea in the garden is to have a toy (I have a rope/ball toy) that has a longish piece of string attached to it, the children can run and pull this behind them and the puppy will chase the toy instead of them.


Sorry yes i forgot to mention that we have a crate for bailey (a must have) in my opinion too


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## designsbyisis (Dec 27, 2011)

My 11 yr old is a bit like that - I have been sympathetic to him when Dexter is in bite mode but at other times I have been quite firm & told him he has to become friends. (he originally wanted the dog so its not like we've forced it on him) When Dexter is in a cuddly mood I get my eldest to come & stroke him . Plus making sure they play lots together outside - ball games etc. And of course the crate. Additionally we have a stair gate across the kitchen door so that Dexter can be in there while we are doing the school run rush of bags, shoes etc. I have also made sure all the boys have helped out in training too so they know what words to use to get him to stop jumping etc.

It will get better I am sure.


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## SPCnut (Apr 25, 2012)

Thank you all so much. We do have a crate and crate Daisy at nights. I hate to crate her in the mornings while we are getting ready for school. She would have only been out of her crate for about 30 minutes by the time I would have to get the girls up and often times, if she doesn't go to my parents, she would be back in her crate at 7:15 so I can go to work. So...to make a long story short...I don't think she deserves to be thrown in the crate while getting ready for school just because 7yo refuses to buck up  As a side note she does pet the dog when she is sleepy. She has even let her sit on her lap and she has held her while standing. It is the walking around that she will not give into yet. 

I know time will come -- I am just NOT a patient person


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## emmelg (Mar 4, 2012)

SPCnut said:


> Thank you all so much. We do have a crate and crate Daisy at nights. I hate to crate her in the mornings while we are getting ready for school. She would have only been out of her crate for about 30 minutes by the time I would have to get the girls up and often times, if she doesn't go to my parents, she would be back in her crate at 7:15 so I can go to work. So...to make a long story short...I don't think she deserves to be thrown in the crate while getting ready for school just because 7yo refuses to buck up  As a side note she does pet the dog when she is sleepy. She has even let her sit on her lap and she has held her while standing. It is the walking around that she will not give into yet.
> 
> I know time will come -- I am just NOT a patient person


We've had bailey for nearly nine weeks now and things are getting a little better, she does sound just like my little boy ( i think it's mostly because they have so much energy and jump up alot that there so frightened ) my son runs from one sofa to another to get away from him, he also sits on the back of the sofa to get dressed for school before moaning to put him in his crate (which i tend to do most of the time to save the rigmarole of him running all over the living room ) i dont want to wish away his puppy days  but i'l be glad when he's alittle bigger and he's not so afraid.

My 3 yr old is a different story (she's constantly picking him up etc..he runs away from her lol x )

Good luck x

Leanne x


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

You know your pup and child so I guess its up to you to decide if she is just being silly, the only other thing to try is to have the pup attached to you for a short while when your daughter is around, she maybe really quite scared - those puppy teeth are sharp!! I've found I can get on with things quite well with the puppy attached - he's learnt 'this way' for when I change direction, quite quickly.


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## bbd (Mar 13, 2012)

My sister's kids (4 and 3) are terrified of my pup, and he is truly the most laid back pup you can get. What we've noticed though, is the way that my sister seems to reinforce the idea that he's scary without trying. In trying to protect the puppy, she says things like 'Quick, whilst he's over there get up on the chair so he can't get you.' That seems to imply that the children NEED to get out of the way. I'm not suggesting that you are doing this at all. We make sure he's quite sleepy and then let them pet him. (Don't let them near him when he's gone into Doodle dash mode). Good luck.


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

I wonder if your 7yr old is really frightened or jealous of the puppy getting attention so is employing attention seeking behaviour to divert attention to them. Just a thought?


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## SPCnut (Apr 25, 2012)

I truly think she is frightened. I was the same way as a kid. Even today I am still scared of dogs. She is scared of any animal whether it is a cat, a lady bug or a bumble bee. She shows no signs of jealousy at all since she is given plenty of attention at home.



Pollypiglet said:


> I wonder if your 7yr old is really frightened or jealous of the puppy getting attention so is employing attention seeking behaviour to divert attention to them. Just a thought?


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

SPCnut said:


> I truly think she is frightened. I was the same way as a kid. Even today I am still scared of dogs. She is scared of any animal whether it is a cat, a lady bug or a bumble bee. She shows no signs of jealousy at all since she is given plenty of attention at home.


Sorry I have very little experience of children so I am not qualified to comment I would use a crate though pup will not resent being crated but will just accept it as part of the routine if you remove the problem then there is no excuse! Once puppy is safely contained then all should be well pup will not mind that he/she has only been out for a short time I understand dogs do not have the ability to understand the time pathway. Once pup is safely contained and family life revolves around getting to school there will be no excuse. Pup will be far less traumatised than your 7 yr old.


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## sallyhoneypot (Feb 28, 2012)

My 3 year old wears wellies when she comes to our house so our Daisy cannot get at her feet! She loves playing with my Daisy but her screaming does encourage Daisy to be naughty. Millie, my grandaughter knows to jump onto the sofa if Daisy becomes too much. She calls Daisy her sister and adores her. I hope your daughter grows to love your Daisy as much and gets over her fears.


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## LisaVonH (Mar 17, 2012)

i have 4 kids, and have always had dogs. one of my 4 is a little anxious with new dogs, so i have taught her how to be the 'top dog' -so she knows she can get the puppy (now about 15/16 weeks i think) to not do what she doesnt want her to. she knows how to tell her no, and not to run and be exciteable. ive told her she has to teach the puppy how to get it right and how she is in charge, in a kind but firm way.

i actively encourage my kids to do simple training with the pup, and its never to early to start - ive never had a cockapoo before but from what i can tell they are incredibly food led which makes them very easy to train  

if you can, sit down with her and watch some Dog Whisperer with Cesar Milan - what he cant teach you about calm assertive energy, just isnt worth knowing  xxx


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## Zoeypoo (Mar 13, 2012)

I am certainly no expert in this. But I can only suggest that maybe if you make your fearful child in charge of something over the pup. Example, she should be in charge of notifying you if her water is low, or if the pup is biting something. Make her aware and watchful of the pup and then empower her to be in charge of something over the pup. This would make her more observant of the pup instead of fearful and she will realize that the puppy is sweet by having the responsibility to watch her. Coax her into being more of the parent of the pup, and it might make her feel more in charge. Slowly make her feed the pup as well as give her more responsibilities surrounding the pup and see what happens. You might be surprised. Good luck.


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## csb (Nov 16, 2011)

When my daughter got her choc lab last year, my granddaughter was only 4, they got a crate for the dog and also a pen that they attached to the crate, it was as much for the puppy as the child would not leave her alone, if you have the room that maybe an idea.


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## SPCnut (Apr 25, 2012)

Update in original post!!


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## designsbyisis (Dec 27, 2011)

Brilliant photo  
Dexter is much calmer now too & relations between him & the boys is much better  



Sent from my iPhone 
Lisa - mum of 3 boys, Dexter Cockapoo & 4 hens !


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