# Help Needed...not sure whether we can keep Sidney😭



## SidneyM (Jun 15, 2013)

Hi, I haven't posted on here for a long while as I had a baby & barely get the time. 😔But I do check sometimes to see all the lovely poos. I'm afraid I have a sad story & need advice please. Sidney is our beautiful almost 2 yr old poo. We got him when we lost our darling triplet daughters who were born premature. We needed a bit of happiness back & Sidney certainly helped us. Of course this meant we treated him (wrongly I know) like our little baby. He is lovely natured and obsessed with his family. However he has the worst separation anxiety and nervous disposition I've ever known. He is okay sometimes when left, though cowers and cries when he realises we're going out. He never settles (I've filmed him) and is constantly pacing and won't be distracted by any number of toys or treats. He is also scared of noisy baby toys, his food being poured into a bowl, anything loud, being shut behind the stair gate or in a different room, being left in the car whilst I fill up petrol etc etc. he's been good with the baby who is now 9 mths old and patient when she steals his toys (he steals hers too!). A couple times he has warned her to stay away...he hates her touching him and generally runs away. Stupidly today I didn't grab her in time when she went to touch him and he barked and went to bite her. Now I'm petrified he's going to really hurt her and I'm not sure what we should do. Ive worked on her petting him gently under supervision and he hates that too. He's just so scared of his own bloody shadow, bless him, & now his anxiety is turning to aggression it seems. I don't want to be the worst dog owner and get rid of him because he's such a nervous little lamb and I really do love him. He kept us alive if I'm brutally honest, through the darkest time. And I don't want to give up on him. We're sure he picked up on our sadness when we got him, and maybe that's shaped his character. However I don't want to be an awful parent and keep him if my daughter is at risk of being bitten or attacked. We've tried two lots of training classes, he freaked out each week & we continued to no avail. I know it's our fault that he's so sensitive and that we've effectively ruined an amazing dog. I just want to cry my eyes out, I'm so confused. I need some kind of dog training expert to sort him out so we can be a happy family again. I'm so sorry to vent like this, but this forum is the only place where people will understand. And if anyone has any advice I'd be desperate to hear it. Thank you for reading and sorry it's such an essay. The thought of Sidney leaving us devastates us, I think he'd be so sad and feel so rejected. :-( xxx


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

For now you need to manage the situation so your daughter and Sydney are both safe and your daughter can not reach him.

You need a behaviourist to come in and see the situation in your home and advise from there. Do you have insurance as you may have cover for that from them? I would go for someone from here: http://www.apbc.org.uk/help/regions

Is St.Albans your area? If so I will see if I can find any recommendations.


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

Oh what a dilemma.
Firstly great news on your new daughter. :baby:
It sounds like your going to have to be cruel to be kind, I appreciate your daughter is your priority - & if the two are not mixing well, then it would probably be best for Sidney to be in a more suitable environment and home.
It sounds like he needs someone who can practically be a constant figure in his life.
I'm sure there will be someone willing to help you out.
I would also put this information on the CCGB, to ensure he gets the best possible outcome and home.
I hope it all works out for you, and of course lovely Sidney xx
If I didn't have 2 I'd have him!!


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Oh my goodness that is sad. I hope you manage to find a behaviour therapist to help you and allow Sidney to stay with you all. It may take time and constant repetition and will on your part, but it will be worth it. Keep strong keep your daughter safe. This will be solved. I wish you all the best.


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## SidneyM (Jun 15, 2013)

Thank you for your replies, it is so sad. And scary...I'm really hoping something can be done before rehoming. 2handgal yes I'm in St albans. I don't understand how that all works but I can call my insurance and ask. Would be amazing if we could find some help. Thanks everyone, I was worried I'd be judged for being such a rubbish dog owner, but your words have all been a great comfort. Xx


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

Never would you be judged, especially when you are considering your dogs needs - I hope you find a solution xx


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Please do not feel judged, you are amongst people who only want to help, nothing more. What a roller coaster of emotions you have been through, the worst of lows and now the euphoria of a new baby. 2nd is right, first thing is to keep the baby safe, keep them in separate rooms , the baby in a playpen or Sidney in a soft sided muzzle if they must be together. Those warning snaps are sometimes one ofs so it is worth working on his anxiety before you rehome. There are so many things that could both help him and make your life easier. Dog day care with experienced trainers, a professional dog walker, a behaviourist, medication....first stop might be your vet. 

Rehoming, if that turns out to be the answer, does not make you the worst dog owner. It just means you are seeking a win-win situation for both Sidney and the baby. Good luck and please let us know how things are going.


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## Sassy (Mar 20, 2015)

Two years ago, Sydney thought he'd be everything you and your dear husband ever wished for. To your poo, that's how he felt about you. He hated to have you disappear, even for a minute. Then, his entire world changed and his worst nightmare became real: you found a replacement, your daughter, and now he's incredibly jealous. 

I wonder if maybe you go back to when he was a little puppy and needed treats every time he did something right. Focus on that instead of what's wrong. For instance, practice leaving him for a short minute (with a direct treat when he does), then build that up to 2 min. (treat), 5 minutes (treat), 10 (treat). He'll probably just love getting your full attention for those lessons too. In that same way, build up some other details that changed, but as you do this, turn it around a bit so that he gets the idea that your daughter is a higher rank than he is. Right now, he's not just jealous, but confused about who has a higher rank in his "pack".

Good luck!


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

There is an excellent trainer who covers your area - http://www.stevemanndogtraining.com/index.php/consultations-training

Just keep baby and dog safe and seperate for now and get in touch with these guys who will be able to come out, look at your set up at home and advise you 

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on.


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## Peanut (Dec 1, 2013)

I have used Stephen Mann. Call them. Amazing behaviourists and lovely people.

Be consistent and you will not have to rehome him. 

Be positive, there is a way. Positive reinforcement and patience and treats.


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## caz3 (Mar 27, 2014)

Aww bless I really feel for you what a situation you are in you are obviously trying your best to work things out and of course your daughter comes first please be strong ,Sydney is obviously a nervous wee dog and without realising this you have probably reinforced this but I am sure with time and patience he can be rehabilitated dogs are amazing he has seen you through the hard times wee soul and I am sure you can help him through these tough times as well ,wishing you the very best and thinking of you xxx


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