# Reducing separation anxiety



## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

After reading about other's experiences and getting some advice I have decided how I am going to train Daisy to get used to being left. 

I am going to only use positive training methods as I would like to train her to not be upset, rather than train her not to bark when she feels upset. At the reccomendation of a behaviourist I am starting to give Daisy calmatives and I am also using rewards to train her to get used to me leaving her. 

As she has not been driven by any treats so far I am using her NI yuck  ! So now I am basically walking round the house with little bowsl of mince!  I have to keep leaving rooms, shutting the doors, counting to 10 (all she can manage at the moment before whining, sometimes 15 if she hasn't realised I have actually left! ) and then giving her a small amount of NI. This is replacing her meal times so that all her food has to be earnt.  Obviously this is easier if you feed kibble! 

It is going to take a long time but I am going to do this every day increasing the times I leave her and hopefully this will mean that she will stop scratching the doors when I am not in the room and help her be more relaxed in the crate. Whilst I have been doing this she has already stopped scratching the lounge door whilst I am counting which is a small start!  

Anyway I will keep you updated on her progress and please could you all keep keep your fingers crossed for me!


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## embee (Dec 27, 2010)

Daisy is so lucky to be with you and I'm sure she will settle down into a relaxed, secure dog. Look forward to hearing how it goes


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## Ali79 (Mar 30, 2011)

Good luck and as I have said many times I think Daisy is one lucky pup having such a lovely owner and I am sure she will get there in the end as I know you will not give up on her and have already spent a long time helping her! My trainer reckons there isn't a dog in the world that can't be trained it just takes a loving owner and lots of time  X


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## JulesB (Mar 6, 2011)

good luck!!! Betty was terrible when left when she was little (even having to come to the bathroom when i went to the toilet) now she's more than happy not glued to my side and knows the routine when i go out. i look forward to seeing how this goes for you.

x


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## M&M's mummy (Jul 12, 2011)

Good luck Sarah.
Mine are 4 and 2 and both suffer with SA and are horrendous!!!

We thought Monty was OK but he doesn't it now when she does and after videoing it tonight it was 

They howl and bark constantly for about 3-4 mins when we first go out, then stop for a bit then howl some more then stop and on it goes....


So am going to have to try again going out for a few secs, then minute etc... but we thought Monty was ok when we did this and he has fooled us!!!


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Well done Sarah! Daisy is a lucky girl and I am sure all your hard work will pay off eventually.


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

Thank you for your words of support! I was starting to feel like I was failing but I have to tell myself I haven't had her long and she has made other improvements. I have decided to sleep downstairs next to her crate for a while. I am hoping that this will help her get into a routine, I will then move my mattress further away each night until I am not in the room! 

Someone said to me recently, little steps all the time all add up so I need to remember that every little improvement is really important!

M&M - That must have been really interesting videoing them? Because you feed kibble you could do that training in a much less messy way than me!  Have you read that really long sticky? It is really useful . Does Monty chew anything or is it just howling?

Good luck with your training!


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## M&M's mummy (Jul 12, 2011)

Sezra said:


> Thank you for your words of support! I was starting to feel like I was failing but I have to tell myself I haven't had her long and she has made other improvements. I have decided to sleep downstairs next to her crate for a while. I am hoping that this will help her get into a routine, I will then move my mattress further away each night until I am not in the room!
> 
> Someone said to me recently, little steps all the time all add up so I need to remember that every little improvement is really important!
> 
> ...



They both Howl and bark and Milly paces and scratches the door. But it is done intermittently and in between they settle down. I think they set each other off too 

They don't do any damage at all.

In fact when we return home it is always quiet and yesterday I could see Monty lazing on the sofa.


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Sarah I am no expert .. by any means .. but maybe by sleeping next to Daisy for a few nights it will reassure her you are there. I don't know if you read in previous posts but when Oakley was a pup I slept next to him on the sofa for a week, just as reassurance, as he was whimpering at night a little and he was clingy, well spoilt like a child actually, but he is so grounded and better for that bit of reassurance in the beginning.

You and Daisy will have an amazing bond, and she will settle, it is early days and she has had a bad start (not with you, of course). You are doing an amazing job, big hugs to you. You are so lucky to have each other and I mean that xxx


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## embee (Dec 27, 2010)

JoJo said:


> You and Daisy will have an amazing bond


I expect the bond you will have with Daisy will be all the stronger for taking a puppy who is clearly 'out of sorts' and giving her the love, care and consistency she has clearly missed until you got her.


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Ahhh Mandy that is so right!!! well put .... gave me a lump in my throat ... I am a soppy gal ...


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## ali-s.j. (Jun 6, 2011)

..... me too, Sarah, I admire you greatly, you will be rewarded with a confident, secure, loyal and loving dog as Daisy grows up


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

Thank you all! I don't think I deserve any admiration though, I am sure you would all do the same thing!


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## rockyrutherford (May 11, 2011)

I'm certain all the forum members are rooting for you both. You obviously care and are willing to put in the time needed to help Daisy. The forum is a great place for advice and support.


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## ali-s.j. (Jun 6, 2011)

Hey Rocky, how's Flynn, do you have some piccies?


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## Happyad (Oct 5, 2010)

The pups just love us and we love them!
My 16 week old has now started with a dog walker twice a week. The aim to have a more relaxed pup who works out it's not just me who "gives the good times". 
Also now having her sleep in a different room to the other dogs so she can be comfortable with her own company.


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

*Update - break through or just luck?*

Update - As you know, I have been trying to reduce Daisy's seperation anxiety at night by sleeping downstairs but moving myself further away each night. Luckily I have an open plan downstairs so this has been possible. Two nights ago I moved into our lounge which meant for the first time I was completely out of sight. OMG what an awful night we had!  I was already emotional having had to say good-bye to our old ratties that afternoon :rip: :cry2: but I then had Daisy waking me up every hour or so. In the past she has needed the toilet in the night, so I was very good, without speaking I let her outside and then put her back in the crate again each time. I was completely exhausted yesterday morning and began to think that there would be no end to it all! :cry2:

Last night she went in the crate herself (rewarded!  ) and laid down. I got into bed (mattress on the floor ), heard a slight whimper and then nothing, well nothing until she needed to go out at 2am. My alarm woke me up at 6am and Daisy was just lay there happily!  I opened the crate door and she still laid there until I opened the back door to go and feed the chickens and then off she trotted to the garden! Wow! :twothumbs:

I think one of the things that have helped is we have at last found a treat that she likes, hotdogs (thank you Tarimoor )! We cut up very small pieces and these are the first treat she hasn't spat out! I have always fed her in the crate and by day she sleeps in it with the door open but I have been rewarding her with hotdog when I put her in at night! I think this could be why she went in by herself last night! 

I will not be moving myself further away tonight, I will wait maybe a couple more just to be sure that last night was not a fluke. Unless I sleep on the stairs  the next place for me is either the landing or back to my bedroom! Maybe another week and I just might be back in my own bed!  :jumping:


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Well done Sarah, its nice when it is such a long road and you finally see some results, how ever large or small.
My dog also love hot dog sausages, I use chicken frankfurters, slightly less fatty but the smell of them definately gets his and others attention when we go to agility!!


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## Mogdog (Feb 6, 2011)

Well done Sarah, it must be great when you start to reap the benefits of all your hard work. I haven't tried hotdogs as treats but have seen them used on "Its me or the dog" so useful to know they work.

Hope Daisy has another good night tonight.


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## JulesB (Mar 6, 2011)

Fantastic news and great to see your efforts paying off!! Betty LOVES frankfurters too and did all her puppy training classes with them! x


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

What a lovely read ... excellent news .. its getting better and better


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## M&M's mummy (Jul 12, 2011)

Just seen this- glad things are getting better 

For us we have now found out that Monty seems to be the one who is really suffering the most with SA!!! and we thought he had outgrown it.


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## Ali79 (Mar 30, 2011)

Congratulations on all your hard work Sarah - not long now until you get back into your own bed  Beau loves frankfurters too and will do practically anything for one  At the end of all this you will have one chilled out gorgeous Cockapoo


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## Cockapoodledoo (Feb 8, 2011)

So pleased things are going well Sarah. Hope you have a successful night tonight too. 

Karen x


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

Ali79 said:


> Congratulations on all your hard work Sarah - not long now until you get back into your own bed  Beau loves frankfurters too and will do practically anything for one  At the end of all this you will have one chilled out gorgeous Cockapoo


I hope so and I hope I have a good night tonight . I just need six hours sleep and I can deal with anything! 

She is chilled out most of the time but she really turns into a different dog when left!  Strange thing is she was super cool first thing but when I put her back in the crate to go and have a shower she was yapping and howling again!  Even a bit of frankfurter didn't work. The main thing is the night time though. Once that is sorted the rest will seem like a walk in the park! Talking of walks.....I am off for a little stroll with my girlie!


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Sarah,
I'm in awe of your dedication to cracking Daisy's separation anxiety. Hope you get some more positive results over the coming days and some much needed sleep! 

Clare
x


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## ali-s.j. (Jun 6, 2011)

Well done Sarah, hope you had a good night


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

ali-s.j. said:


> Well done Sarah, hope you had a good night


It was good thanks. She woke up at 5.15am to be let out which I did and then slept again in her crate until 6.30am!  She still cried when I went for my shower!

I have had a break through though as now at bed time I can say 'In to bed' and she has started to go in by herself! Yipeee! Thank goodness for sausages!


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## ali-s.j. (Jun 6, 2011)

Well, that is great progress  Izzy settled at night much quicker than when I left her to shower too, it will come


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

ali-s.j. said:


> Well, that is great progress  Izzy settled at night much quicker than when I left her to shower too, it will come


That's good to know. I keep telling myself that these other smaller issues will just go by themselves with time! :twothumbs:


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## Ali79 (Mar 30, 2011)

Sezra said:


> I hope so and I hope I have a good night tonight . I just need six hours sleep and I can deal with anything!
> 
> She is chilled out most of the time but she really turns into a different dog when left!  Strange thing is she was super cool first thing but when I put her back in the crate to go and have a shower she was yapping and howling again!  Even a bit of frankfurter didn't work. The main thing is the night time though. Once that is sorted the rest will seem like a walk in the park! Talking of walks.....I am off for a little stroll with my girlie!


Fingers crossed for 6 or more hours tonight for you  At least you can see she is a chilled out dog for most of the time as that can be worked on whereas if she was upset all the time it would probably be more difficult  After how she started the first few months of her life she is more worried than most about being left as probably spent a lot of time on her own or with other dogs and so obviously adores you doesn't want to be separated from you in case you do what the others have done with her and that is you don't come back. Beau hated being left the first couple of nights hence Madeleine took her off to her bed which is easier said than done but as Madeleine is 17 and there is only the two of us (I am divorced and have brought Madeleine up alone since she was 3) it isn't an issue! I really do admire you and all the hard work you have put into making Daisy secure and happy as lots of people would have given up at the first hurdle! Enjoy your walk and keep us all up to date with how it is going  XX


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## M&M's mummy (Jul 12, 2011)

Glad Daisy Boo is being a good girl for mummy- knew she would get there after all she is a cockapoo and they are smart cookies 

Soon you will be able to go back to your own bed.


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## wilfiboy (Sep 18, 2010)

Sounds great, well done... Im sure you're feeling much more positive now.....as for crying when you have a shower, once mine were house trained they just follow me around... I usually have a bath or a shower with at least one cockapoo laid beside the bath and the other one on the landing, usually on the loo with Mable laid at my feet so fell abit soft really


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

wilfiboy said:


> Sounds great, well done... Im sure you're feeling much more positive now.....as for crying when you have a shower, once mine were house trained they just follow me around... I usually have a bath or a shower with at least one cockapoo laid beside the bath and the other one on the landing, usually on the loo with Mable laid at my feet so fell abit soft really


My cheeky girlie can't be trusted yet upstairs (not with me in the shower anyway!) Most mornings my husband is still in bed as I get up first and I don't think he would be too impressed being woken by Daisy jumping all over the bed, the cat might get a bit grumpy too! He always sleeps by my feet (well he did when I slept upstairs ) and Daisy is still a bit excitable whenever she sees him. We are still having controlled introductions! Daisy wants to play and the cat bops her on the head!  Its so much fun in our house!


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## wilfiboy (Sep 18, 2010)

Yep can see your reasoning..... my daughter asked for a cat today !! mine are both quite good where cats are concerned but not sure they'd appreciate one moving in  When mable wants to play with Wilf she bats him on the head... she is very feline. Hope your cat does nt start playing up when you get back to bed


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## M&M's mummy (Jul 12, 2011)

Sezra said:


> My cheeky girlie can't be trusted yet upstairs (not with me in the shower anyway!) Most mornings my husband is still in bed as I get up first and I don't think he would be too impressed being woken by Daisy jumping all over the bed, the cat might get a bit grumpy too! He always sleeps by my feet (well he did when I slept upstairs ) and Daisy is still a bit excitable whenever she sees him. We are still having controlled introductions! Daisy wants to play and the cat bops her on the head!  Its so much fun in our house!


Oh I am a wicked wife at weekends if hubby is in bed then I leave bedroom door open and he gets both of them jumping all over and licking him 

Milly especially is full on- you would have licks all over, bum in your face and face and head trodden on!!!


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## Lulu-belle (Aug 26, 2011)

My Bongo loves hot dog sausages too  hope Daisy continues to do well for you x


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

I think Daisy is going to settle now, I hope so as it is 1am and I am exhausted!  Not sure what is wrong with her tonight but we seem to have gone backwards. Oh well, here's hoping that she doesn't wake up too early! Goodnight!


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