# Separation Anxiety



## Dave

I think Benny has separation anxiety. I'll use our recent camping trip as an example. Whenever anyone would walk away from him, even if other people were around, Benny would begin to cry -- sometimes loudly. He wouldn't stop until that person returned. Or if they were gone for a long while, he'd stop once he wore himself out. 

Could Benny have separation anxiety? Could he really miss someone that much when they'd walk away?

Just to make sure everyone knows, he doesn't normally do this. The only time he shows behavior like this is if we go somewhere in the house he can't get to, due to an obstacle like a door. We just noticed he was pretty bad during our camping trip with separation.

Any thoughts or similar experiences with this?


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## brookiee

Yes. My puppy has to go EVERYWHERE I go. She could be sleeping, hear me get up and go to the washroom, and she'll get up too and follow me. She won't go outside by herself either, she needs me to come out with her or she won't go. And she'll only eat or drink if someone else is in the room with her. Is this normal behaviour?


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## Dave

brookiee said:


> Yes. My puppy has to go EVERYWHERE I go. She could be sleeping, hear me get up and go to the washroom, and she'll get up too and follow me. She won't go outside by herself either, she needs me to come out with her or she won't go. And she'll only eat or drink if someone else is in the room with her. Is this normal behaviour?


Benny follows us around everywhere as well. It's sad when you see him get up from a nap to follow you to a room he's not allowed it. It's like he thinks, "I got up from my nap just to watch you go into this room I can't even come in." He'll just sit there and look at you (and sometimes bark to get you to come out). 

Benny doesn't mind eating/drinking alone. However, he'll often save his dinner and eat it when someone comes home from work. For whatever reason, he loves to eat whenever someone new enters the house.


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## hsthill

My dog Muttly also fallows me everywhere, but the part that really breaks my heart is whenever I leave the house even to take out the garbage if i dont take him with me he jumps in the window and whines and paws at the window. It is by far the sadist thing I have ever seen. As far as eating goes if I leave the room while hes eating he only fallows if Im going upstairs, he like to be on thee same level of the house as me. I love that about him it shows me he loves me as much as I love him.


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## Dave

Benny used to go to the window too whenever we left. I haven't really noticed him doing it much lately though. I guess he's gotten used to it.

I always find it sad when everyone's leaving at the same time, and Benny's sitting by the door looking at us with the "am I going too?" face. Then we have to walk out without him.


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## WhosABear

I thought my cockapoo was just really needy because she is a puppy. But I guess they don't grow out of this? I think it is so adorable that she wants to be everywhere that we are, however I really worry about her when we aren't in the house. She gets so upset when one of us just leaves the room.
-Nicole


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## Dave

WhosABear said:


> I thought my cockapoo was just really needy because she is a puppy. But I guess they don't grow out of this? I think it is so adorable that she wants to be everywhere that we are, however I really worry about her when we aren't in the house. She gets so upset when one of us just leaves the room.
> -Nicole


Since she's still a puppy, are you crate training her? When Benny was a puppy, we'd put him the crate whenever no one would be home, for his own safety. He hated it, so after a little while we'd start leaving him out of the crate when we'd be gone for a short time. Over time, he'd be out of the crate almost all the time, except when no one would be home for several hours.

By the time he was a year old (I can't remember exactly when), we stopped using the crate. Whenever we leave, he just goes upstairs to bed and sleeps. We know this because every time someone comes home, he comes from the bedroom. And sometimes he won't even leave the bed!


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## WhosABear

*crate or kitchen*

Hey Dave,
We tried crate training for a couple of nights and Bear pooped in her crate and cried and barked so loud. This is a problem because we live in a condo. However we have a relatively small kitchen we have closed off with a puppy gate and we leave her in there when we are not both at home. She seems to be better about the kitchen than the crate. Probably because she will go on the paper if she can't hold it and in the crate she is stuck in there with it (maybe thats the point) LOL but we just can't let her cry all night in the condo. Any suggestions would be appreciated. 
-Nicole and Eddie
PS Last night I was completly weak and let her sleep in bed with me and she pooped on my pillow and I put my hand in it :mad


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## kendal

when is her last meal. it could be you are feeding her too late and thats why she cant hold it. 


are you still taking her out in the midle of the night to see that she does the toilet if she needs it.


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## WhosABear

*crate issues*

Well we feed her her last meal at 6pm. We still get up to take her out and we take her out before we put her in there, but as soon as she goes in she gets so upset that she poops!


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## kendal

you might need to stay out with her longer and make sure she hap pooed before you bring her in, have you got a toilet comand for her, like peepee or be clean or toilet time. once they learn itsts like a promped and they will toilet on comand.


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## progressivetruth

Oreo, does follow me around the house and he sleeps with me. However when I have to go out I give him a duty. I tell him to watch the house for me. This gives him a job to do while I am away. My neighbor said that it stopped all the crying he use to do. When I come home or when I leave I dont make a big deal of it. I wait until he calms down when I come home then I reward him. Now when he notices I am about to leave he will go to the steps or sit on the couch. I tell him to watch the house. No more crying. I do this even when I have to be gone over night. It works.


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## TobysFamily

Hi there,
I am having similar issues with our 9 week old puppy Toby.
We are trying crate training and have used all the tricks in the book (treats hidden, blanket over the crate, staying in the room with him while he is in the crate, leaving the crate door open....) but he doesn't stop crying. 
He crys when we leave the room and he cant come (for example if we go upstairs). I left him in his crate as I had to go out for an hour and when I came back he was still crying and a complete state.
The first night we had him he slept ok in the crate but the next 4 nights he cried all night, now he crys for an hour when I put him in (usually 12pm to 1am) then sleeps, wakes up at 3am and cries so I take him out to pee then he cries constantly till I get up at 5.30am. After hegets up he falls asllep on the lounge floor but wakes up if I leave the room or ty to put him back in the crate and crys again.
He won't eat unless someone is there with him because he just follows us away from the food if we leave.
I don't know where we have gone wrong. I have 3 puppy books and waited 2 years to get him. I have to go back to work soon and was planning on having someone come in for an hour at lunchtime, then someone is home in the afternoon but I don't think this is going to be enough for him. I don't want to make him unhappy or upset 
Any help or advice would be really appreciated.


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## TobysFamily

I forgot to add, Toby was from a litter of 11 so I was wondering if this was having an impact and wether getting another cockapoo so they can keep eachother company would be a good idea?


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## Dave

I can't remember exactly what we did with Benny. I think eventually we gave into the idea that he just wasn't going to sleep in a crate. So we got him a doggy bed and put it in the hallway upstairs near the bedrooms. Needless to say, he took advantage of his location to cry and scratch at the doors of our bedrooms. Now he sleeps in bed with someone every night. Maybe you could try keeping the crate in your room, if it's not already there.

As he gets older, you can start leaving him out of the crate when you leave the house for a short while. We started leaving Benny out of the crate alone for maybe an hour or less at first. As he got used to it (and grew out of his puppy phase), we started leaving him out for longer periods of time. After a couple months, he was always out of his crate. I wouldn't really recommend leaving him out of his crate for a long time as a puppy though, especially if he's teething.

It is tough to hear him cry, but just keep in mind that he won't be in the crate forever. In a couple months he'll start getting more freedom.


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## Jerseypoo527

Jersey used to cry whenever I left the room even if someone else was in there. What I started doing was giving him a treat every time I leave and then not making a huge fuss when I come back. His crying is getting less and less. As for the crate thing, I've started waiting until Jersey falls asleep, put him in the crate and let him fall back to sleep if I wake him up, then I leave the room before he can wake up and see me. As long as he doesn't see me leave he wont cry.


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## mum2bobs

When I got Bobby I was full of big ideas that he was going to sleep in his crate in the kitchen, no messing!

First night, I put him in his crate upstairs in my bedroom as I had read that hearing you breathing helps them settle and not be anxious.

He cried continuously all night but I ignored him and only let him out every couple of hours to use a puppy pad.

Next night - same routine, same amount of crying.

This went on for three or four nights and in the end I totally caved in and let him on my bed. He snuggled down and slept all night - I even had to wake him up to have a pee. Bliss!

Since then, he has slept on my bed, and now sleeps all night through to about 6.30, when he wakes me up for a wee. During the day though he will willingly go into the crate for a sleep, although I leave the door open for him when I am in.

If I am going out, I hide treats under his blankets, and fill a Kong with very tasty treats - sausage, chicken, cheese, and seal the end. Sometimes I freeze it so he has to work hard to get stuff out. I throw the Kong into the crate and immediately leave the house.

I have had a listen at the door and there is never a peep out of him.

He does follow me all around the house though, although now has the manners to sit at the threshold of the bathroom door when I am in there


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## AmandanKirby

Kirby has the same problem but only when I leave. My husband and I have assumed that because he watches my husband leave every morning he is used to that. He is crate trained, so when I leave he goes in the crate and I put a blanket over it so he is not actually seeing me leave him. But if I leave when my husband is with him he yelps, howls and stands on his back paws for some time after I leave. Even if I'm just walking over to the garbage can to throw out his poo when we are on a walk. It's nice to know that he loves me that much, but I don't want this to develop into separation anxiety. He's fine when I leave him in the crate though. Our trainer mentioned making sure he is calm when you leave and ignore him until he is calm when you come back, but like I said sometimes I've only taken a few steps away.


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## AmandanKirby

TobysFamily said:


> wakes up at 3am and cries so I take him out to pee then he cries constantly till I get up at 5.30am.


Just wondering when he gets up at 3am are you waiting until he is calm before you let him out. That is a big thing, if you are letting him out of the crate when he is crying he learns that all he needs to do is cry and you will let him out. Practice during the day, put him in for a few minutes once he calms down give him a treat and let him out (he doesnt even have to be in there very long). He will learn that he has to be calm to be let out, and eventually the crate will be his calm place. I say practice during the day just because you probably will get more frustrated at night because you are tired, your afraid he will wake up the neighbours etc. Hope that helps.


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## marzy

*crate training*

tobysfamily
i also read books and waited a long while before i got my puppy
thought i had all the info i needed
he is easy to learn and willing to train but the crate ........
he will use it in day in and out but at night he will howl and cry
how we overcome this is to completly cover crate and added hot water bottle , clock,
and 2 big teddies so he could snuggle up!!
we put him in 10.30 after his wee
he cies 2min and then peace till 6am
i feel he needed someone to be right close to.
and in the day he goes in by himself
and sleeps
hope this helps in a little way
good luck


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## Jesarie

Axle yelps and crys his little heart out like he is in extreme pain when I leave the house. He is also crate trained so when I do leave the house he goes in his crate. I also put a blanket over it so he cannot see. As soon as I lock the front door it begins. I actually was starting to wonder when I might get noise complaints. He crys so loud its painful to me. I can hear him when I am not even in front of my house. I wonder how long he does that or if he stops after a minute? I feel so bad but I know that he will grow out of this.


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## strangeland86

My Flo is a total baby, she hates being left and cries, she is so happy to see you when you come in that up until very recently she pee's with excitement! the longest we an leave for (at just over a year old) is just over an hour, I thought it was just her being clinggy but it sounds like its the same with alot of other cockapoos.


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## Jesarie

I cannot speak for all but I can say that I do think it is this way with many Cockapoos.


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## lhkim85

Sawyer had very bad separation issues when we first got him. He used to cry and cry and when we came back he still whined a little bit, kind of shaky, like he was scared. Now when we leave, he just sits. If he's laying down, he usually doesn't even bother to get up. We got him at a shelter and his owner had surrendered him, so he probably had abandonment issues, but he seems just fine now.


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## strangeland86

aw bless him, i love his bee outfit, i want one lol


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## aapea

My Lola is two years old and just whines and howls and barks any time I'm out of her sight. When I leave the house, holy smokes. It's heart breaking! I just adopted Lola a little over a week ago from a family with seven dogs and lots of activity so I know that she's adjusting to a whole new life. And, yes, it's only been about 10 days but I'm just not sure what to do. I live in an apartment and I know that Lola's cries disturb my neighbors. I've tried to follow the advice from my vet and training manuals and web sites and my dog walker but I just can't seem to find anything to relieve her suffering.

So, my question is how long do I give it until I try more drastic measures? My vet suggested Prozac and a neighbor used a bark collar on his dog. Both ideas make me uncomfortable but so does the idea of a knock on my door fro the guy who works nights and who has his sleep disturbed every morning or a call from my landlord. Mostly, I want my puppy to be happy. An suggestions? Thanks.


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## lhkim85

strangeland86 said:


> aw bless him, i love his bee outfit, i want one lol


Aw, thank you! I got it at Target.


aapea said:


> My Lola is two years old and just whines and howls and barks any time I'm out of her sight. When I leave the house, holy smokes. It's heart breaking! I just adopted Lola a little over a week ago from a family with seven dogs and lots of activity so I know that she's adjusting to a whole new life. And, yes, it's only been about 10 days but I'm just not sure what to do. I live in an apartment and I know that Lola's cries disturb my neighbors. I've tried to follow the advice from my vet and training manuals and web sites and my dog walker but I just can't seem to find anything to relieve her suffering.
> 
> So, my question is how long do I give it until I try more drastic measures? My vet suggested Prozac and a neighbor used a bark collar on his dog. Both ideas make me uncomfortable but so does the idea of a knock on my door fro the guy who works nights and who has his sleep disturbed every morning or a call from my landlord. Mostly, I want my puppy to be happy. An suggestions? Thanks.


Aw, poor thing! Maybe you can practice during the day, just leaving for short amounts of time? My BF (who lives w/ me) goes out during the day for smoke breaks and Sawyer would whine even then, so I would give him a treat whenever my BF left. I also gave him bigger treats when we left home; one of them was some kind of pig-skin roll w/ dried bits of chicken liver inside. I think it took him about a month to really be okay with us leaving.


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## aapea

*Getting Better*

Thanks for your advice. Lola seems to be doing better. She's becoming more independent by the day. I can actually walk around the apartment without tripping over her. I've started draping a throw over her crate (just two sides), making sure that she's chomping on her Kong before I walk out of the house, instilling an open door policy with the crate when I'm home and spending as much time with her as possible. All this seems to be working. There's less hysteria when I leave in the morning and my neighbors tell me that she's become much quieter during the day. I also notice that she's feeling a little less anxious in general. My neighbor now smiles and pets her when he sees her which, believe me, is a big deal!


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## lhkim85

Glad to hear she is doing better!


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