# Puppy Crying



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

Hi,

I'm looking for some help with our pup..

We've had him almost 7 weeks now and we are still experiencing crying when leaving him - he's now 16 weeks old

He's settled down a lot more than the first couple of weeks - he no longer cries when separated from us in other rooms by doors, or going outside alone, etc

However there is no change or let up in us leaving him at night in the crate or leaving him in the crate during the day to work 

We have a dog monitor therefore we know he calms down after a while and sleeps or chews on his toys - therefore it's not separation anxiety, it seems to be 'isolation anxiety' perhaps

He only cries for 5 minutes when leaving him at night (crate is downstairs in kitchen and we are upstairs) and then is quiet for the whole night, sleeping through from 10ish - 6.30ish

However he is consistent in crying when being left *every* single time.. It's obviously traumatic for him and we hate it as well so want to combat it asap!

We won't be taking him out of the crate at night yet until he is fully trained and honestly, I don't think that'll help his anxiety with being left in the day - if anything, might make it worse with being around us more

Any suggestions and training tips would be very much appreciated! We want a happy Cooper all the time


----------



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

As an added bit of information - we never make a big deal of leaving or coming home, we ignore him until he's calm and never go to him when he is crying! This has been the same from day one


----------



## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

How often is he left and for how long?
Does he ever just go in the crate to sleep during the day?
Do you feed in the crate?

Not quite sure what you mean by ignoring until he is calm? Leaving and returning is treated as no big deal in my house but I don't ignore them, just a quick hello and then carry on with bringing in shopping or whatever I am doing.

You also want the crate to be quite routine, so feed in the crate, give good stuff in the crate and establish all good stuff to happen in the crate. Also lots of very quick leave and then straight back in again so leaving is very very quick


----------



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

He's left between 8-5pm, however I'm home with him at lunch from 1-2 to feed him - this is only 3 days a week, as he has a family member with him for 2-3 hours in the middle of the day the other 2 days 

He never goes into sleep during the day despite our best efforts - for a while, we took him into the crate every time he fell asleep outside it and he got up straight away to fall back asleep near us instead - there was only a couple of occasions where he slept for 20-30 mins in the crate, and there was nothing consistent

We've always fed all his meals in the crate, he's left with a treat (carrot, kong, denta-stick type thing) every time we leave him. He has lots of toys in there, it's open for him all the time to access if he's not in it

Ignore is probably the wrong word, but we don't give him any physical affection until we've been in the house for a while (I mean 30 secs - 1 min) and only when he's not excitable. The same as what you said basically, we don't make it a big deal

I'm trying to amp up the quick leave and returns but he just knows and cries straight away so it's difficult to return and praise for no crying


----------



## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Sorry but I would say that is too long in a crate and if needs to be left for that length of time he needs more than a crate so something like a puppy pen or larger area of the house which is puppy proofed as best you can.


----------



## ALBERFORCE (Oct 13, 2017)

We had this with Albert. After a lot of googling we made some changes and now he is quiet with just just a whine or two. We played with him around his crate, gave him loads of treats and fuss. We also think that he may have been crying because he had a particular toy and he wanted to give it to us and couldn't. We've taken that toy off him in his crate and he seems a lot better!
We also moved the crate to an area in the house where he had been lying a lot. So maybe moving the crate to somewhere you spend a lot of time (not sure if you do in your kitchen!)

Good luck!


----------



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

2ndhandgal said:


> Sorry but I would say that is too long in a crate and if needs to be left for that length of time he needs more than a crate so something like a puppy pen or larger area of the house which is puppy proofed as best you can.


We tried both ways 

We have a dog monitor on while we are out so tried leaving him in the crate and leaving in in the open kitchen/conservatory area - the latter was what we planned for him from the off because we didn't want to crate him during the day. However the dog monitor showed that he settled quicker while crated instead of in the open so that's the only reason he has been in the crate during the day


----------



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

ALBERFORCE said:


> We had this with Albert. After a lot of googling we made some changes and now he is quiet with just just a whine or two. We played with him around his crate, gave him loads of treats and fuss. We also think that he may have been crying because he had a particular toy and he wanted to give it to us and couldn't. We've taken that toy off him in his crate and he seems a lot better!
> We also moved the crate to an area in the house where he had been lying a lot. So maybe moving the crate to somewhere you spend a lot of time (not sure if you do in your kitchen!)
> 
> Good luck!


Thank you for the advice, glad to hear it can be sorted out! What age did he start being more okay/calm with being left? Curious to see if it's so bad currently due to his age 

Is there anything you googled in particular?

We've tried moving the crate to another spot in the kitchen as close as possible to the lounge, where it's easy for him to see us and 'be part of the family' still - reads lots before getting Coop that said they don't like to feel like they're missing out while in the crate - but this hasn't really made a difference and unfortunately there's nowhere for it to go in the lounge!

Will definitely try the toy thing and have a little google too


----------



## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

The biggest problem I am afraid is how long he is being left  can you not arrange for him to have more company and longer breaks?


----------



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

2ndhandgal said:


> The biggest problem I am afraid is how long he is being left  can you not arrange for him to have more company and longer breaks?


The problem is the physical act of us leaving, once he settles he's fine for the duration of the day - there's a puzzle toy, a kong, blanket, bed and a couple of toys. 

We will be looking into a dog walker when he is older and doggy 'day care'.

I'm just looking for advice to ease his anxiety at the act of leaving


----------



## ALBERFORCE (Oct 13, 2017)

Just googled puppy crying in crate. There are a lot of suggestions and we tried a few which worked for Albert.

We got him at 15ish weeks. Had a horrible first few nights and then he settled. We then took him to visit parents which got him whining and also taught him to bark. After that it took a few days of lots of treats, leaving him until he stopped barking and then going and rewarding. That plus the changes seems to have worked.

Have you had any luck?


----------



## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Cockapoos have a funny way of turning things into "issues". Being left behind anywhere is something they loathe. I'd let him stay with you as much as possible unless it was totally necessary to leave him and when you do that be matter of fact, just drop him in his crate and leave. Most of us here have second dogs and/or cats to keep our dogs company while we must leave them. Spending a lot of time trying to ease his anxiety might backfire and make him realize the whole thing is causing you distress too and make things even worse!


----------



## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

The crying when I just needed to pee... boy do I recall that. Frankly the only solution I eventually cane to was bring them into the bathroom with me. Even when I showered. They came into the bathroom. They would even cry when I had them in the crate making dinner. Of course they’d usually fall asleep. But unless they had access to me, they cried. They are a better now (almost 5 now). But again I don’t leave doors closed when I’m in the house so they almost always will come to where I am. I do leave them alone occasionally and leave them at daycare regularly (you know a good daycare when they don’t care about you leaving. If they want to leave with you after the first day, find another daycare). Some dogs are better at being left behind than others. Lexi doesn’t have to be my shadow 24/7 but Beemer has an umbilical cord that he does not want to break. Of course if I had my choice I’d have them with me 24/7, which probably doesn’t help. Mostly you will find what works for you. There’s not a right way or even a wrong way. Just ways that work better and not as well. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Nessykins (Sep 6, 2017)

Hi everyone this is my first post as I?m beside myself at the moment so tired and can relate a bit to this theme. Nelly my **** a poo is now 20 weeks. I got her at eight weeks and for the first few weeks she wouldn?t settle in her crate but then she did which was great. We then went on holiday with her with the crate and she wouldn?t settle which is understandable but when we came back home she wouldn?t settle there either. I got so tired that I started letting her up in the room with me after she started crying. I know this is all wrong and my puppy class trainer told me to start again with the crate in the bedroom. I did this last night and she cried all night and has been feeling rotten today . I really don?t know now whether to try that again tonight or just give In and letter back upstairs when she starts crying. Believe me I have tried ignoring and if I do go down giving no fuss and cuddles just letting her go out to toilet and putting her back in her crate afterwards but she won?t settle . Its driving me crazy and I?m exhausted and feeling really bad for Nelly. I want her to be relaxed in her crate so that I can leave her in the day for periods without worrying about her. Any advice greatly appreciated please, thank you


----------



## Nessykins (Sep 6, 2017)

Apologies about the poor spelling and grammar I?m using the speak type on my phone which is not that great


----------



## LuckyCockapoo (May 29, 2017)

Clever dog, she’s trained you very well! 😂

I haven’t experienced something like that but from everything I’ve heard, going back to basics seems to be the suggested approach. 

Is she with you all the time usually? Is she ok on her own - ie is it a crate thing or a being alone thing?


----------



## Nessykins (Sep 6, 2017)

It?s definitely a crate thing. She will happily snooze on floor and let me move around house doing housework etc just night time. Last night I put her in and went to bed and she cried scratched and panted for an hour before I relented. Felt really cruel letting her continue. Once she comes up it?s under my bed and sleep for 6 hours- both of us. She?s s great pup in other aspects just not the crate. I will persist trying with crate!!


----------



## Jackson2017 (Jul 4, 2017)

Nessykins said:


> It?s definitely a crate thing. She will happily snooze on floor and let me move around house doing housework etc just night time. Last night I put her in and went to bed and she cried scratched and panted for an hour before I relented. Felt really cruel letting her continue. Once she comes up it?s under my bed and sleep for 6 hours- both of us. She?s s great pup in other aspects just not the crate. I will persist trying with crate!!


I have realised now the crate thing is good for some but not great for all

Jackson has never been a big fan of the crate, as soon as we can we will be getting rid


----------



## Nessykins (Sep 6, 2017)

Same here, once teething is over it?s bye bye crate lol. Just have to struggle on for now I guess. Thanks x


----------



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

ALBERFORCE said:


> Just googled puppy crying in crate. There are a lot of suggestions and we tried a few which worked for Albert.
> 
> We got him at 15ish weeks. Had a horrible first few nights and then he settled. We then took him to visit parents which got him whining and also taught him to bark. After that it took a few days of lots of treats, leaving him until he stopped barking and then going and rewarding. That plus the changes seems to have worked.
> 
> Have you had any luck?


Ah okay, I'll keep having a google 

I tried changing up the toys to see if it was a favourite toy, but this didn't make any noticeable difference unfortunately! I've also been spending more time in the kitchen with him -i.e. not leaving the kitchen unless necessary when with him at lunch time - and giving him attention, affection and treats in there. 

This combined with keeping him out of the crate during the day and leaving treats around the kitchen for Cooper to find while we're out seems to have eased the upset a little, he doesn't cry straight away the majority of the time but he is still crying consistently each time.

Will keep working at it and hope it's just a puppy issue!


----------



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

fairlie said:


> Cockapoos have a funny way of turning things into "issues". Being left behind anywhere is something they loathe. I'd let him stay with you as much as possible unless it was totally necessary to leave him and when you do that be matter of fact, just drop him in his crate and leave. Most of us here have second dogs and/or cats to keep our dogs company while we must leave them. Spending a lot of time trying to ease his anxiety might backfire and make him realize the whole thing is causing you distress too and make things even worse!


You could be right! I've stopped the repetitive leaving and coming back training for now as it doesn't seem to be making much difference currently

We do just leave him with no fuss or big deal - but will keep an eye on it to be sure we are


----------



## jb&cooper (Jul 24, 2017)

Lexi&Beemer said:


> The crying when I just needed to pee... boy do I recall that. Frankly the only solution I eventually cane to was bring them into the bathroom with me. Even when I showered. They came into the bathroom. They would even cry when I had them in the crate making dinner. Of course they’d usually fall asleep. But unless they had access to me, they cried. They are a better now (almost 5 now). But again I don’t leave doors closed when I’m in the house so they almost always will come to where I am. I do leave them alone occasionally and leave them at daycare regularly (you know a good daycare when they don’t care about you leaving. If they want to leave with you after the first day, find another daycare). Some dogs are better at being left behind than others. Lexi doesn’t have to be my shadow 24/7 but Beemer has an umbilical cord that he does not want to break. Of course if I had my choice I’d have them with me 24/7, which probably doesn’t help. Mostly you will find what works for you. There’s not a right way or even a wrong way. Just ways that work better and not as well.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Thank you for the daycare and general advice!

I would definitely have him with me 24/7 given the choice too - weekends are too short!

Will keep trying with him


----------

