# Am I being too soft?



## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

Molly finished her foundation puppy class a few weeks ago and tonight we went To a different class, ran by different people, to start the bronze level good citizen class. Well, not long after we arrived i wanted to leave . I introduced Molly who was her usual bouncey, playful self.... To which the instructor replied "ah..wild dog"!!  Never has she been described as wild, yes she may be too bouncey and over excitable at times but she is a puppy and by no means out of control and will soon listen to me if I give a command to stop(well most of the time!!). He then went on to say that "unfortunately" when you cross a poodle with a cocker you get an explosion!!!
The class then started and he continually gave sarcastic comments, not just directed at us, but saying how we were being too nice to the dogs and shouldn't be saying "good girl" when they didn't do THAT well!! I also felt he was rough telling me not to move to the dog but to move the dog to me ie drag it round into position?? He said "she won't break" !! 
Anyway, I left feeling very deflated,obviously not wanting to go back next week!! Am I just being too soft? I do beleive I have an obedient puppy in relation to her age as like everyone else on here comments, they do learn very quickly. Yes shes lively, but surely that's good as long as you can channel the energy. I do appreciate that it's an obedience class and it all has to be very controlled, but is this an effective way to train? Anyway, the instructors should surely respect all breeds in the class and not come out with the usual naive comments
Anyway, I'll stop rambling. Just keen to hear other people's experiences  xx


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## puppylove (Jul 25, 2011)

Hi Mairi can I ask you which club this was?


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

puppylove said:


> Hi Mairi can I ask you which club this was?


Oh no, I don't want to name and shame!!!


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## puppylove (Jul 25, 2011)

Would you tell me privately? It won't go any further.


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## caradunne (Nov 29, 2010)

My instructor was quite the opposite, they loved baby Izzy because she looked so cute and was soooooo excitable. Training was hard because she often gave up concentrating and went dropped treat hunting. I did give up after the second level but went to a clicker training class ran privately with only three dogs when she was 11 months old. She loved this class and behaved brilliantly. You might find other classes in your area.


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Sounds like this particular trainer is in the anti deliberate cross breed brigade. The trainer I went to always told me to move to the dog, until they knew where you want then. I don't mind being authoritive with your dog but there is no need for force, ESPECIALLY with such a young puppy. 

I would walk away but not before letting them know just why I was leaving! There are lots of training classes around, find one recommended by someone you trust, a friend, vet. Look around. Using this link will be an ideal place to start a search, if you decide to find another trainer.

http://www.apdt.co.uk/local_dog_trainers.asp


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

caradunne said:


> My instructor was quite the opposite, they loved baby Izzy because she looked so cute and was soooooo excitable. Training was hard because she often gave up concentrating and went dropped treat hunting. I did give up after the second level but went to a clicker training class ran privately with only three dogs when she was 11 months old. She loved this class and behaved brilliantly. You might find other classes in your area.


Thanks Cara, it's great to hear other people's experiences. I will have a look around for another class as I don't want to stop as I know she enjoys it and the socialisation with the other dogs is obviously most important. I might see if there is a clicker training class too


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

wellerfeller said:


> Sounds like this particular trainer is in the anti deliberate cross breed brigade. The trainer I went to always told me to move to the dog, until they knew where you want then. I don't mind being authoritive with your dog but there is no need for force, ESPECIALLY with such a young puppy.
> 
> I would walk away but not before letting them know just why I was leaving! There are lots of training classes around, find one recommended by someone you trust, a friend, vet. Look around. Using this link will be an ideal place to start a search, if you decide to find another trainer.
> 
> http://www.apdt.co.uk/local_dog_trainers.asp


Thank you so much Karen, great advice . I wish i was a bit more confident and had said something at the time, I just chickened out. I have looked at the link you sent and am going to phone one of the contacts given which looks good. I was dreading looking incase the class I'd been to was recommended!! Thanks again


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## wilfiboy (Sep 18, 2010)

Yeh I think if your not happy then learning for both of you is not going to be a pleasant experience, if you dont like the teaching methods then you are not going to enjoy the sessions and this will only be communicated to Molly. Does your old trainer know of antone with similar methods to herself. In this economic climate the trainer really does nt need to alienate a whole group of dog owners not really in his best interests. x


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

I think it is important that you are comfortable with your trainer and enjoy the classes , after all if you are not having fun and are stressed your dog will know it!! I've been to two different training schools but one was very old fashioned and there were far too many dogs and the second they were very nice but not very well organised and we spent the first ten mins of each session just discussing what we wanted to do. I am trying a third one tonight....I guess you have to kiss a few frogs....


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

wilfiboy said:


> Yeh I think if your not happy then learning for both of you is not going to be a pleasant experience, if you dont like the teaching methods then you are not going to enjoy the sessions and this will only be communicated to Molly. Does your old trainer know of antone with similar methods to herself. In this economic climate the trainer really does nt need to alienate a whole group of dog owners not really in his best interests. x


Thanks Karen, you're right, we both need to be happy with the training. I went to this particular class as It is the main one in my area and they run lots of different classes so they're obviously doing something right and other people must like them!! My puppy class also run a class however it is in a different location quite a bit further away from me, the only reason I never went. They always made a big fuss of Molly and she was by far the most obedient puppy in the class, not that I'm biased at all !! However hopefully we'll find somewhere else soon  Thank you x


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

colpa110 said:


> I think it is important that you are comfortable with your trainer and enjoy the classes , after all if you are not having fun and are stressed your dog will know it!! I've been to two different training schools but one was very old fashioned and there were far too many dogs and the second they were very nice but not very well organised and we spent the first ten mins of each session just discussing what we wanted to do. I am trying a third one tonight....I guess you have to kiss a few frogs....


Thanks Colin .. It's great to hear other people have similar experiences. Thankfully I only paid for one night last night!! I'm going to ring a lady today that was on a link that Karen (Wellerfeller) gave me. We just need to find one that suits us both. Last night was so formal and serious..All this "dogs and their handlers move forward"!! Maybe I'm not mature enough, never mind Molly  I suppose it is an obedience class...


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## MillieDog (Jun 1, 2011)

Oh Mairi you poor thing, that was no fun at all. I think there are several ways to train a dog, a bit like there are several ways to train your kids. You have to be comfortable with the training on offer. I'd be like you, not say anything but quietly fume. I'd then act with my feet and walk away. Look for a trainer that specialises in positive reward training and if possible with clicker training. This line of training whereby you impose your will is not for me - and whats more cockapoos are NOT an explosion of two breeds. They are the bringing together of two lovely intelligent breeds. The outcome of which, is a very friendly, willing to please and sociable.


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

MillieDog said:


> Oh Mairi you poor thing, that was no fun at all. I think there are several ways to train a dog, a bit like there are several ways to train your kids. You have to be comfortable with the training on offer. I'd be like you, not say anything but quietly fume. I'd then act with my feet and walk away. Look for a trainer that specialises in positive reward training and if possible with clicker training. This line of training whereby you impose your will is not for me - and whats more cockapoos are NOT an explosion of two breeds. They are the bringing together of two lovely intelligent breeds. The outcome of which, is a very friendly, willing to please and sociable.
> 
> Thanks Julie , glad im not just getting soft in my old age!! Yes I'm definitely looking for a more reward based training and hopefully a clicker one. I really appreciate the advice and yes I agree, why some people have these preconceived ideas about cross breeds I don't know. He never even looked at Molly, he had in his mind already what she would be like
> Never mind, we'll find somewhere else that is a bit more welcoming


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## MillieDog (Jun 1, 2011)

[QUOTE

Thanks Julie , glad im not just getting soft in my old age!! Yes I'm definitely looking for a more reward based training and hopefully a clicker one. I really appreciate the advice and yes I agree, why some people have these preconceived ideas about cross breeds I don't know. He never even looked at Molly, he had in his mind already what she would be like 
Never mind, we'll find somewhere else that is a bit more welcoming [/QUOTE]

I know what you mean about preconceived ideas. I've just come back from a few days away with my dog and some friends. All staying in my house, yet they all collectively decided that me allowing my dog upstairs an on my bed was almost a hanging offence. And more, but I won't harp on too much on a public forum.


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

I know what you mean about preconceived ideas. I've just come back from a few days away with my dog and some friends. All staying in my house, yet they all collectively decided that me allowing my dog upstairs an on my bed was almost a hanging offence. And more, but I won't harp on too much on a public forum.[/QUOTE]

Aw, that is awful ... YOU make YOUR rules in YOUR house, who is anyone else to criticise, especially when they are staying with you... The cheek of it!!
Maybe it's because our dogs are so agreeable that we let them do these things, a bit of give and take. Just as well Millie has you as her mum and not any of them


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## designsbyisis (Dec 27, 2011)

I would echo everyone else - you have to respect the teacher & you have to enjoy it. I would look elsewhere & while you find one just do some little obedience exercises to give you more confidence. Good luck 


Sent from my iPhone 
Lisa - mum of 3 boys, Dexter Cockapoo & 4 hens !


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## puppylove (Jul 25, 2011)

Hi Mairi, look up the Association of Pet Dog Trainers and you will find someone near you who offers clicker/positive training methods.


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Well what the instructor said to you about your puppy being "wild" and calling the mix an "explosion" is just pure and simple rude  Vote with your feet and money and go somewhere else. I'm sure you will find a better class and instructor and you can continue on with your training. Don't let this individual put you off. Good luck.


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

designsbyisis said:


> I would echo everyone else - you have to respect the teacher & you have to enjoy it. I would look elsewhere & while you find one just do some little obedience exercises to give you more confidence. Good luck
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> Lisa - mum of 3 boys, Dexter Cockapoo & 4 hens !


Thank you Lisa, You are right, it is all about respect, I had very little of that last night x 



puppylove said:


> Hi Mairi, look up the Association of Pet Dog Trainers and you will find someone near you who offers clicker/positive training methods.


Thank you... I've got a number for a class not too far away 



Jedicrazy said:


> Well what the instructor said to you about your puppy being "wild" and calling the mix an "explosion" is just pure and simple rude  Vote with your feet and money and go somewhere else. I'm sure you will find a better class and instructor and you can continue on with your training. Don't let this individual put you off. Good luck.


Thanks Clare, I'm glad you also think it was rude and not just me being soft and over sensitive


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## DONNA (Jan 7, 2011)

What a horrid instructer ,it reall annoys me when people assume cockapoo's are an "explosion" as he puts it !!!

To look at from my point of view they are just ubber friendly and full of life.

When i toke Buddy to the vets the recepitonist said a very similar thing about him but you know what id rather have a friendly dog then one that coward scared in the corner or was aggresive.

When Buddy was at his first training class all he wanted to do was play (which was'nt allowed boring!) anyway even though he was bouncy he still worked very hard in class and flew through all the training.

Dont let it put you off,i have since gone on to do agility training Buddy loves it and its really good for obidence etc well worth doing when she's older.


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

DONNA said:


> What a horrid instructer ,it reall annoys me when people assume cockapoo's are an "explosion" as he puts it !!!
> 
> To look at from my point of view they are just ubber friendly and full of life.
> 
> ...


Thanks Donna, yeah exactly, I'd far rather have a friendly, warm dog with a bit of character about them, Hardly what I'd call "wild" though. Yes, agility is definitely something I'd like to pursue when she's older


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## lola24 (Aug 14, 2011)

Stick with it Mairi, hope you find a good trainer. I run both the puppy foundation and the bronze award classes and make the effort to make it fun! I took Izzi to a bronze award class like this a couple of years ago which was run by a horrid man who whilst going through the responsibility and care parts kept spouting nonsense. After 'dropping' in that i was a vet nurse (from a big practice= referrals) he shut up and played nicely. 

My main aim is to keep our classes as far away from the way that man ran his and so far everyone seems to be enjoying them. We do expect that people put the effort in and we do train to a higher level than the guidelines (they are actually very relaxed) but only to get the best out of the dogs and the owners to set them up for future training. I wouldn't like all the formality of a class like the one you experienced- we spend most of the night giggling with the owners!!


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

lola24 said:


> Stick with it Mairi, hope you find a good trainer. I run both the puppy foundation and the bronze award classes and make the effort to make it fun! I took Izzi to a bronze award class like this a couple of years ago which was run by a horrid man who whilst going through the responsibility and care parts kept spouting nonsense. After 'dropping' in that i was a vet nurse (from a big practice= referrals) he shut up and played nicely.
> 
> My main aim is to keep our classes as far away from the way that man ran his and so far everyone seems to be enjoying them. We do expect that people put the effort in and we do train to a higher level than the guidelines (they are actually very relaxed) but only to get the best out of the dogs and the owners to set them up for future training. I wouldn't like all the formality of a class like the one you experienced- we spend most of the night giggling with the owners!!


 Thank you Katie, I really appreciate everyone's positive encouragement with it and glad this particular class is not the 'norm'!! I fully appreciate that it's taking training to the next level and I'm really keen to put in the work as I know what a difference it makes and Molly is very receptive...in the right environment!! It's just a case of finding the right class... Your class sounds just perfect.. If only I could find one as good  Thanks again x


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

Just a little update.
Thanks to the link that Karen (Wellerfeller) gave me, I attended a new training class this evening which was fab . There were only 3 dogs, one more to join next week and it is held at the trainers house which she has had adapted for this. She was lovely, very focused and more importantly had the time to spend with each of us individually and point out things we needed to work on. We've come away with lots of home work . She also did a little intro into scent work which is all very new to me as a first time dog owner and I've now got a couple of cloths and have to have them on my person for 24 hrs(!!)and then put them in a sealed container and take them next week along with 2 clean cloths!! They will do a little agility outside as well as obviously the basics and heel work. She gave an idea as to where she saw the training going and what they would be doing and I actually felt quite excited and was thinking to myself..is Molly really going to be able to do THAT .. Anyway, we'll see, it's early days. The most important thing is that I respect her and her methods and she focuses it to training a 'pet' not to show standard which suits me. Fingers crossed it continues as well. Thanks again for all your encouragement xx


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

That's great news!! So glad you can get on and enjoy training and bonding with Molly. She will love and respect you for it 
Enjoy!!


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

That sound really positive Mairi - I hope you both continue to enjoy it


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## MillieDog (Jun 1, 2011)

Brilliant news Mairi.


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

Pleased you have found a good class sounds as if your previous instructor got his kicks from putting people down!


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

wellerfeller said:


> That's great news!! So glad you can get on and enjoy training and bonding with Molly. She will love and respect you for it
> Enjoy!!


Thank you once again Karen for posting the link, Im so pleased to have secured a place on this particular class


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

mairi1 said:


> Thank you once again Karen for posting the link, Im so pleased to have secured a place on this particular class


You are very welcome, I am really happy you found it helpful. ADPT is always a great place to start looking for any help with training.
I look forward to hearing how you both progress.


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