# Puppy aggression amongst other things...



## meloww (May 14, 2014)

My cockapoo girl, Willow, is 4 months old and my parents Boxer male, Buster, is 5 months old.

They have played/walked together once-twice a week since they were tiny.
Buster is obsessed with her and can't leave her alone. He has always been very bouncy and full-on with her and has a habit of wanting to stand over her and knock her over. We would separate them if it got too much, but Willow would generally happily go back to him for more play.
Over the past month Willow has become a lot tougher and we have had to break a few 'strong' play fights up that have escalated. Then they'll tootle off, have a drink together and begin playing again.

On Friday night, I took Willow to my parents house and the two of them broke into a crazy play-fight as usual, (we had to break them up a little) which tends to die-down a bit after 10-15 mins. We them took them out for a 45 min walk on the leads. When we came home, Willow decided she didn't want to play anymore and wanted to chew on some toys instead. Buster was trying his best to make her play and kept stealing the toy and running off with it. If Willow didn't follow, he would come back to check her, then go get the toy and bring it back to her. After a while she started growling when he took it, yet this got Buster more excited (any attention from Willow, be it good or bad, is better than none).
However Willow then found a marrow-bone toy and when Buster went near her she really growled this time, as to protect 'her' bone. So I decided neither of them were to have it and took it off her. Then Willow launched at Buster in what can only be described as a rage. I immediately grabbed her by the collar and pushed her away, she looked at me and I shouted no, but as soon as I looked away she legged it after Buster, so then my mum grabbed her by the ear, pulled her towards her and hit her repeatably. Willow then coward into the corner. After 10 minutes cooling off time Buster was then itching to get to her again.

She had drew blood on Busters ear so I felt terrible, but also terrible that my mum had dragged my 4 month old puppy by the ear and hit her. My mum proceeded to say Willow is showing very dominant behaviour and I'm going to need to be a lot tougher with her. My dad then said that because she's a bitch and she has poodle in her, it makes her snappy (ahh stereotypical). I'll admit, I felt a little ganged up on. 

I cannot stress enough how well behaved Willow is at home. She's friendly to all dogs/people/small children, comes back when you call her name on walks. She can get a little hardy with our cat when they're playing, but she knows the command "too rough" means to be gentler. She jumps up at people, which we're working on and has little separation anxiety which is improving with age. She doesn't show any possessive qualities, she will let us take her toys away and mess with her food. She doesn't respond well to shouting, rather more your vibe, eye-contact and low voice. 

We took the puppies for a walk the day after and let them off the lead on a dog trail. Fetch did not work out, as Willow would try and get it out of Buster mouth. Every now and again one of them would barge the other or go for a playful nip. My mum would shout "stop that young lady" and grab her ruff neck, yet if Buster instigated it, she didn't bat an eye lid. At one point my dad pointed out that it was Buster who instigated it and so she shouted at Buster. I can't help but think Willow is being scrutinised for every little thing since the 'incident'. All this shouting etc is pretty full on for me, so I can't imagine how the dogs must feel.

In the end, I put Willow back on her lead and said it was because I was sick of her getting shouted at, to which my mum went a bit softer on her.

She then rang me this morning and suggested Willow is coming into heat early and showing hormonal tendencies. I can't help but think my mum is now trying to find problems with her. Is this possible? Or perhaps I am too soft or blind to it as I love her.

I'm unsure after writing this whether it is a question or just me rambling about my feelings, but I guess if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice on dominating behaviour/aggression in puppies I would be very appreciative.

Thank you (especially if you managed to read this entire essay lol)


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

I don't know a lot about dogs spending a lot of time together and observing that behaviour because we only have one and he just meets other dogs briefly on walks and things so I'm not in that situation

However, your mum should never, ever hit your dog, or even shout at her. You do not need to be 'tougher' on her, it's about listening and observing what she needs so you can do things to make sure she doesn't feel stressed in her environment and feel forced to become defensive 

It sounds like Willow is being harassed by Buster, she has nowhere to retreat to to relax and enjoy chewing her toys and I would think has every right to growl if another dog comes to take away something she is settling down to enjoy like that.

In that situation I would have had them in separate rooms to cool off and give them some space from each other and let Willow chew on her toy in peace. 

You know when your dog has had enough, and I think it's up to you to help her be in a more comfortable environment as she has little choice otherwise. 


2ndhandgal and Marzi I hope will come along as they have the best advice for these things!!


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## Nanci (Mar 1, 2012)

NOBODY and I mean NOBODY strikes or shouts at my poos!!! NEVER EVER!! nuf said


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## Lindor (Feb 3, 2014)

Nanci said:


> NOBODY and I mean NOBODY strikes or shouts at my poos!!! NEVER EVER!! nuf said


You should have a very serious conversation with your parents for having mistreated your dog. If I were you, I wouldn't even take her there any more.


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

Lindor said:


> You should have a very serious conversation with your parents for having mistreated your dog. If I were you, I wouldn't even take her there any more.


Have to say I would be the same

It seems like an unnecessarily stressful situation for her, from both your mum and buster


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

Dogs will be dogs, 
My two can show aggression to each other, especially if one has something the other one wants. 
Ruby can be quite funny growling and curling her lip at Ralph. Who just stands there all pathetic crying.
But ruby knows he is boss and can lie down very submissively if she thinks she needs to.
When they are in the field playing - they can be rough and chase each other snarling growling and barking - they also do it in the garden, but it is just boisterous play.
If I think it's getting too rough I always intervene - but not by smacking and shouting.
I can't believe your mum hit your puppy dog once, let alone repeatedly.
Does she smack her own dog??
Maybe a puppy training course would benefit both of you & your pups, - but if I were you I would go to a different one or at a different time than your mum and buster. X


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

The thought of anybody hitting a dog brings tears to my eyes and a terrible anger inside me - and the fact that it isn't even their dog? Totally unforgivable in my eyes.

Unfortunately, I don't have the experience or expert words that someone like Marzi or 2ndhandgal do, so I hope they are along soon to advise you on where to go next. Poor, poor Willow


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

I think your little Willow is just begining to stand up for herself. Until now Buster has had it all his own way, but as Willow matures and becomes more confident she is going to make a stand with Buster. I agree with Grove, after a rough and tumble session and a walk, Willow needed some down time and ?Buster wouldn't let her have it. So you need to protect her a bit and take her somewhere quiet where she can do what she needs to do. Be that sleep, or enjoy a good old chomp on a toy. 

As for your Mum mistreating her. That is a definite 'NO' . NOT EVER. You don't want Willow to be scared of another human, and she will become scared of your mother. Tell your mum training has moved on and there is never any need to hit a dog to discipline them. 

As for coming into heat, 20 weeks is a little young. Phoebe is 8 months and 2 days old and started her season exactly one week ago today. 

If your Mum gets angsty, put out the size difference between, Willow and Buster and ask her who she really thinks is the instigator. Maybe buy her a video on doggy behaviour too!


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

Grove said:


> Have to say I would be the same
> 
> It seems like an unnecessarily stressful situation for her, from both your mum and buster


With this being said, I am not blaming Buster at all, he is only a puppy himself 

But unless your mum changes her view on how to deal with this it might be better not to subject Willow to these circumstances i.e. having willow and buster together


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

I know it was your mum but she was completely wrong. Willow clearly let it be known that she did not want Buster near her and he did not listen. My guess is that after you took the bone away Buster came back wanting more and she was tired of having to telling him no. Her agitation had been building and no one listened. Personally I think your mum was wrong in how she treated Willow, especially beating her. Actually I don't understand and I can sympathize with how upset you are as Willow is your baby like my two are mine. My brother in law threatened to beat Beemer when he kept barking at him (of course it didn't help that he was staring Beemer down) and I can barely tolerate him now because for me the thought that he would even have that thought is not okay. But I'm sorry you had to experience that. It must have been heartbreaking. 

With my two I had to come up with a signal that stopped them when I thought it was on the verge of too much but that's the key, just before they escalate. Train Willow with a word that immediately gets their attention. If I yell "COOKIE" they immediately stop and look at me. This deescalates the tension and even if they go back to play, it is less intense. Your mom will have to teach Buster too. You may also want to go to a neutral space to play. And for sure have all toys, bones, etc removed while they play. They are there to play with each other so why do they need all the other stuff. Frankly if I were to put responsibility in someone, I'd suggest thinking you and your parents as responsible - it'll be the best way to ensure that you do what you need in order to keep both dogs safe. It really doesn't help to blame the dogs as they were doing what dogs do. 

I think people talking about dominance as a power thing makes no sense as dogs don't think that way. Watch a group of dogs who are playing and you see they take turns on being top dog, chaser. They make horrible growling noises and seem like their biting but motion is fluid. And their ultimate dominating action is to walk away because the dominant one controls whether or not they play not how they play. So it does sound that Willow is the dominant one. But the biting has nothing to do with dominance but agitation left unchecked. My two know I'm in charge for sure. But that's through training and some corrections mostly with sounds. The only physical things I do is to put myself between the pups and what they are trying to pursue but you have to be persistent so that they get frustrated and give up. 

My two met a 7 month old boxer mix this week along with others and frankly they don't like the way they play. Boxer puppies play like boxers and it's fine when they are tiny but once they get to be about the same size or bigger it's too much. They have really powerful chests that make a huge difference in the way they play. The owner kept saying that she just wanted to play and I got that but my two clearly let it be known they didn't. I don't know if the boxer didn't have a lot of experience with dogs but kept coming until my two together snarled, barked, and basically tried to scare it away. We moved away from the boxer. Her "friend" came in who was about the same size as my two and she played with the boxer at first but the play got too rough for her. And this was the same thing we experienced and what you did. Despite being told no by the other dog, the boxer kept coming. It yelped. It barked. I tried to run away. It tried to hide and the boxer didn't give up. And one point Lexi tried to help the dog by cutting in between them to distract. Eventually the other dog came to play with my two. And they were playing rough but just how you would want dogs to play. As Willow seems to play well with other dogs, It could be that Buster needs a more physical and energized dog to play with. 

I'm sorry you had to go through with it and certainly don't want to stir up any more with your mum, but frankly I think she is and was wrong on all fronts. 


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Emotions run high in these situations and I am all for deescalation. Please forgive you mum. Her pup was bleeding, she bought a breed known NOT to take no for an answer and her daughter bought a breed known for being overly theatrical. Both pups are at the age where they NEED to be taught dog manners from older dogs. 

No toys, bones or objects to covet, distraction with fun games and walks and separation when required will hopefully restore the family harmony. Having them both interact with plenty of other dogs off leash and keeping calm will be paramount.


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

Have just thought of something else

You said it was a 45 minute lead walk and then when you got back Willow wanted to be by herself and chew on a toy. 45 minutes is a very long walk for a 4 month old puppy - she would have been pretty tired out after. This may also have contributed to her feeling like she'd had enough of play with Buster

There is a 5 minute per month of age guideline for walking time. So at 4 months a 20 minute walk should be enough for Willow

Hope this helps


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Can't add much to what has been said, overtired dogs are definitely more likely to be grumpy. Boxers are such bouncy bombastic heavy dogs compared to a cockapoo, my Dudley probably had more his temperament though as a pup as he always wanted to play and didn't really 'get it' when another dog was trying to say no, but if another dog had a snap at him and the owner said sorry I would always apologize and say 'no, thats fine, he needed to be told', something your mum may not appreciate. It does sound as if she is making excuses for him but then he is her baby I guess. I think you will have to try to manage the situation to try and avoid any of these clashes if at all possible, let them walk and play outside together but give them time out from each other once they come in. I hope your baby will not be nervous of your mum now, I wouldn't even blame her if she growled at your mum to keep her away, hopefully she is a typical forgiving Cockapoo, but I know I would be less keen to visit if it were me.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

I totally agree with everyone else - sounds like both pups were over tired so likely to be more hyper and boxers do not always like to take no for an answer so I think at the first sign Willow wants to rest and not be pestered she should be allowed to - maybe in a crate - or the other pup in a crate to learn to settle after play time is over as both need to learn to settle as well as play.

Hitting and shouting is far more likely to teach her to be wary of your mum than correct her behaviour - and to be totally honest from what you have said she did not do much wrong - going after Buster after her bone was taken was probably just over tired puppy over reacting rather than an aggressive puppy.

Do both pups get any older dogs to play with too? It sounds like they would both benefit from that as Buster sounds like he needs to learn his manners when other dogs say no - and Willow needs to learn not everyone needs to be dealt with as robustly as he may be.

For future meetings I would be keeping things low key and give both dogs frequent breaks from each other. Off lead running at each other and barging is OK if both dogs are happy but many dogs may not tolerate it so would be good to try and split them if they start to play too roughly so maybe few minutes off lead play, few minutes on lead calm walk and repeat - but as Grove says - not for too long - they are both only babies.


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## meloww (May 14, 2014)

Grove said:


> I don't know a lot about dogs spending a lot of time together and observing that behaviour because we only have one and he just meets other dogs briefly on walks and things so I'm not in that situation
> 
> However, your mum should never, ever hit your dog, or even shout at her. You do not need to be 'tougher' on her, it's about listening and observing what she needs so you can do things to make sure she doesn't feel stressed in her environment and feel forced to become defensive
> 
> ...


@grove - thank you for your outlook on this. I feel terrible for not having stepped in and called time-out, because thinking about it afterwards she always settles down with a chew bone after her walk. I know Willow was getting aggravated, however my mum saw it as her being possessive/aggressive over Buster's toys, which made me (stupidly) question my own dog. I probably wouldn't have done that say if I was with a friend, or if my partner was there, but as I was on my own with her 'against' both my parents, I was influenced. I am kicking myself for not being confident enough to agree with myself, however I sincerely appreciate your's, along with everybody else's thoughts on this issue, as it has given me the self-confidence that I am in the right and I do know my dog.

@grove @nanci @lindor - as for my mum hitting Willow...it was very hard for me to write it, as it quite honestly ashamed me. (Extremely) luckily for my mum, Willow approached her a little time afterwards belly to the floor, tail wagging and my mum gave her a fuss.
My mum has had dogs her whole life and I think some of her 'techniques' are a little out-dated. She has only had labrador and retriever family dogs where every one mucked in because we were all at home. We had a deposit down on Willow for some time, and then my dad decided to go out and get a Boxer without any research into the breed. We were all a bit shocked, including my mum (we were always taught a dog was a huge decision - and it took myself and my partner a year before we eventually new we were ready and found the right litter/breeder). Seeing as it's just my parents at home now, I genuinely think my mum is struggling with Buster. Don't get me wrong, he is such a lovely dog, so affectionate and high on life, but extremely robust and hyper - doesn't take no for an answer and is getting much stronger...very different to our past family dogs. Willow is the same as in loves everyone, however she's a lot gentler and calmer. My mum said some time ago, she wished she had a cockapoo and she's always adored her. It almost felt like, Willow stepped one foot out of line and now she is a problem dog, to mask the difficulties she's having with her own. Families are tough...but families and their DOGS??! Whole new level


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## meloww (May 14, 2014)

Lexi&Beemer said:


> I know it was your mum but she was completely wrong. Willow clearly let it be known that she did not want Buster near her and he did not listen. My guess is that after you took the bone away Buster came back wanting more and she was tired of having to telling him no. Her agitation had been building and no one listened. Personally I think your mum was wrong in how she treated Willow, especially beating her. Actually I don't understand and I can sympathize with how upset you are as Willow is your baby like my two are mine. My brother in law threatened to beat Beemer when he kept barking at him (of course it didn't help that he was staring Beemer down) and I can barely tolerate him now because for me the thought that he would even have that thought is not okay. But I'm sorry you had to experience that. It must have been heartbreaking.
> 
> With my two I had to come up with a signal that stopped them when I thought it was on the verge of too much but that's the key, just before they escalate. Train Willow with a word that immediately gets their attention. If I yell "COOKIE" they immediately stop and look at me. This deescalates the tension and even if they go back to play, it is less intense. Your mom will have to teach Buster too. You may also want to go to a neutral space to play. And for sure have all toys, bones, etc removed while they play. They are there to play with each other so why do they need all the other stuff. Frankly if I were to put responsibility in someone, I'd suggest thinking you and your parents as responsible - it'll be the best way to ensure that you do what you need in order to keep both dogs safe. It really doesn't help to blame the dogs as they were doing what dogs do.
> 
> ...


@lexi&beemer - thank you so much for your advice. The situation with the boxer sounds identical to what we have to go through...and that's just it, it's get's to the point where it's not enjoyable. There has to be respect and if the dogs aren't working it out between them then we have to step in and teach them. 

As for who holds the responsibility, I 100% hold my hands up and feel terrible for not listening to my puppies needs, especially when I knew her routine after walkies is to settle down with a chew bone. I'm kicking myself. As I explained to @grove, I know Willow was getting aggravated, however my mum saw it as her being possessive/aggressive over Buster's toys, which made me (stupidly) question my own dog. I probably wouldn't have done that say if I was with a friend, or if my partner was there, but as I was on my own with her 'against' both my parents, I was influenced. And you're right about all the toys being out - we have both made a lot of mistakes and need to make some changes, as it would be such a shame to not be able to get together with the dogs.

We have the command with our cat and Willow "too rough", which I actually used at the time of the incident and she did stop and look at me. At that moment I should have then took her to a quite spot.

It was very upsetting and shocking watching my mum hit Willow and it ashamed me to admit it on here.

I will be taking on your's and everybody else's advice and having a word with my mum. (Separate) obedience classes should help too.


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## meloww (May 14, 2014)

DB1 said:


> Can't add much to what has been said, overtired dogs are definitely more likely to be grumpy. Boxers are such bouncy bombastic heavy dogs compared to a cockapoo, my Dudley probably had more his temperament though as a pup as he always wanted to play and didn't really 'get it' when another dog was trying to say no, but if another dog had a snap at him and the owner said sorry I would always apologize and say 'no, thats fine, he needed to be told', something your mum may not appreciate. It does sound as if she is making excuses for him but then he is her baby I guess. I think you will have to try to manage the situation to try and avoid any of these clashes if at all possible, let them walk and play outside together but give them time out from each other once they come in. I hope your baby will not be nervous of your mum now, I wouldn't even blame her if she growled at your mum to keep her away, hopefully she is a typical forgiving Cockapoo, but I know I would be less keen to visit if it were me.


@Dawn - after a short while, Willow approached my mum belly-down, tail wagging as if to make friends again. She's such a lovely puppy and didn't deserve to be hit, it was very upsetting for us both. Thank you for your advice - time out inside sounds like a good option. Buster finds it hard to take 'time-out' when Willow is there, but I will talk with my mum as we need to find a solution to make everyone happy and avoid anything like what happened again.


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

You sound like a great puppy owner  I too have had situations where I could tell my puppy wasn't quite comfortable and I wished I'd been more blunt in the situation but it's hard at the time. These things happen quite fast and it would no doubt be even harder with family and all the potential offence and upset that can be caused there, especially if they've always had dogs and are used to doing things a particular way. I know it's hard to write when you are ashamed of what your mum did, but the good thing is the responses gave you the confidence that you were right in your gut.

Maybe Buster needs more chill out time also, considering that for his age the walk would have been quite long for him too. Although he appears to be excitable and instigating play, he may actually be tired inside.

I made a post on here recently about my dog Gandhi barking at bedtime and we weren't sure what to do with him, we talked to a trainer who asked us about what we'd been doing recently and we had just got back from taking him on holiday with us and he had had a lot of new experiences - he was overstimulated and couldn't settle. We've been giving him a calmer time since and we have seen the change in him. They won't always stop when they are tired, especially with a stimulating source in front of them (another puppy being very stimulating!). sometimes it comes out as being hyper and excitable and it's easy to think they need more 'tiring out', but that just feeds it even more and actually they just need quiet time and a good rest.

So they would probably both benefit from more tightly timed interactions with each other, considering what else they may have done that day etc

I know we all felt it necessary to condemn what your mum did but I do appreciate she is of that older 'dominant' training age and doing the only thing she knows in her mind. I really hope she's open to taking on a new approach so you will be happy to take Willow round there again.


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

meloww said:


> @lexi&beemer - thank you so much for your advice. The situation with the boxer sounds identical to what we have to go through...and that's just it, it's get's to the point where it's not enjoyable. There has to be respect and if the dogs aren't working it out between them then we have to step in and teach them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I think it's brave that you wrote about it and was honest as that helps us give better advice and to really understand the situation. As for being responsible, I say it not to make you feel bad or ashamed but to help reframe how you think of it, what corrections you make in the future to help. I'm sure you were in shock as it was all so unexpected. And seeking help and support means that you are being a great mum to Willow. 

I'm not sure what your family dynamics is but I wonder if you are going to need to have a discussion about what is appropriate correction (not discipline) for Willow. I'm a firm believer that it needs to be consistent, therefore, the correction method should be the one you use not hers. Also, it's amazing that Willow is so loving and forgiving but a part of me wishes that she had been less so as this may be interpreted by your mum as evidence that she did nothing wrong. My guess is that at some point you will need someone to take care of Willow and if you are anything like me, parents are the ones you probably will be asking. If that is the case, then maybe it'll be good to let your mum know how upset you are and what you expect in terms of correcting and training. 

Here is a link that I found helpful (not sure if I've shared with you before) about puppy play. 

http://thebark.com/content/your-dogs-rough-play-appropriate 

Maybe share with your mum and the next time Buster and Willow play both of you watch together to identify the signs of good play and not good play. And to let your mum know, often the aggressor is not the one biting. Think of it like this - you are standing in a crowded train and some kid with headphones is dancing to his music and keeps bumping into you. He keeps doing this even though you've politely asked him to not do it as it is making it difficult not to bump into others. He ignored you and keeps in with his behavior. You then warn him if he keeps doing it you're going to get upset and may react in an unpleasant way. He keeps doing it. You then yell at him to stop it. He keeps doing it. You push back a little hoping he gets the message. He keeps doing it. You can't take it anymore and you elbow him in the ribs so that he doubled over and of course starts screaming bloody murder. He asks why you did it and everyone thinks you are to blame for being violent. But who is really the aggressor? Dogs communicate brilliantly in my opinion as it is so straight forward. There is nothing confusing about it. We humans who are confusing just need to learn how to listen to them. 


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## meloww (May 14, 2014)

2ndhandgal said:


> I totally agree with everyone else - sounds like both pups were over tired so likely to be more hyper and boxers do not always like to take no for an answer so I think at the first sign Willow wants to rest and not be pestered she should be allowed to - maybe in a crate - or the other pup in a crate to learn to settle after play time is over as both need to learn to settle as well as play.
> 
> Hitting and shouting is far more likely to teach her to be wary of your mum than correct her behaviour - and to be totally honest from what you have said she did not do much wrong - going after Buster after her bone was taken was probably just over tired puppy over reacting rather than an aggressive puppy.
> 
> ...


@2ndhandgirl - this was extremely helpful, thank you very much. I am going to discuss this with my mum and I hope the two of us working together on it will in turn will make for happy future puppy meet-ups.

As for time with adult dogs, Willow walks with my friends dogs. 8 year old jack russell, a 5 yr old Lhasa and 3 year old Lab. All of which she has met with excitement, until they growl and she happily leaves them in peace and can walk along side them minding their own business (so peaceful). My mum said Buster has met other dogs on walks and seems very submissive to most, rolling on his back with his tummy in the air - it must just be the confidence he has with Willow. She doesn't have a chance to think when Buster appears, as he's got her pinned to the floor and then her adrenaline kicks in and so it begins...

It will be good to have the actions you stated in order and the replies I've had on this forum has given me the self-confidence to stand up and take charge of my puppy as I know her best and am responsible for her needs.

Thank you everyone :kiss:


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## meloww (May 14, 2014)

Grove said:


> You sound like a great puppy owner  I too have had situations where I could tell my puppy wasn't quite comfortable and I wished I'd been more blunt in the situation but it's hard at the time. These things happen quite fast and it would no doubt be even harder with family and all the potential offence and upset that can be caused there, especially if they've always had dogs and are used to doing things a particular way. I know it's hard to write when you are ashamed of what your mum did, but the good thing is the responses gave you the confidence that you were right in your gut.
> 
> Maybe Buster needs more chill out time also, considering that for his age the walk would have been quite long for him too. Although he appears to be excitable and instigating play, he may actually be tired inside.
> 
> ...


@grove - thank you  exactly as you say, it's such a hard situation to be in, especially because it's family. It never occurred to me that Buster could also be tired - he just seems to have endless energy and I admit both myself & my mum thought continued playing would 'wear them out'. Instead it ended in one tired, un-happy puppy and another in the wars. I'm going to take it as a big learning-curve. At first I was dreading getting the pups back together, but I'm actually eager to put it all into practice now (geeky pup-mum alert!!)...after a little break for a while though.

@lexi&beemer - thank you also  No, I completely got what you meant regarding responsibility. My mum has the approach of 'let dogs be dogs' and 'sort it themselves', which I think is fine, but when they're puppies and one's not respecting the other, it's our responsibility to correct them and not in a volatile way. I really like the use of the word "correction" as apposed to "discipline" and will use that when I sit down and chat about it with my mum.
I must admit, I didn't even think about the time we might need someone to look after Willow. Well we did, but not after the hitting incident. I think that's thrown a bit of a spanner into the works as I've lost quite a bit of trust with my mum regarding Willow and would hate to think that Willow wouldn't get a fair chance against Buster should I not be there...I know that's something I'm going to have to work on myself. Luckily we have other family members and friends that would look after her if I just couldn't do it.
Great example regarding the aggressor! There are so many opinions on how to raise puppies into the "perfect" dog, it get's to the point where you over-think any slight action. When my parents suggested she was aggressive/possessive, I went into overboard thinking "OMG what have I done wrong!!!!". From now on I'm sticking with my gut.


I'm so glad I shared this, you've all been such a huge help and I can't thank you enough. xxx


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

You sound like a wonderful owner, now relax, cuddle your gorgeous puppy and have a large glass of wine (or whatever you prefer).xx


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## caz3 (Mar 27, 2014)

Hi, and yes I agree u sound like a wonnderful owner i just wanted to point out about the free running, walking and playing,a lot of people tend to think this will tire pups out but I personally think you can overstimulate them and they can become hyper they definetly need chill out time too .Doing some training and tricks actually tires them out as it is mentally stimulating but I think you probably know a lot of this now with everyones wonderful advice just thought I would mention it good luck with your puppyxxxx


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Well done you - it is hard work being a wonderful puppy owner, a dutiful daughter and a diplomat! You seem to be succeeding at all three.

One of my friends (children in the same class) has a border terrorist who is almost exactly the same age as Dot, but a very different character. He delighted in flattening Dot at every opportunity - he was a compact ball of muscle and although roughly the same size - it was never an even match. He would fly at her from behind, she couldn't see him coming becaue of her enormous ears acting as blinkers. He used to make her cry and she would frantically paddle back to me while he tugged her in the opposite direction by whatever part of her anatomy he had clamped in his jaws. The friend laughing and calling this puppy play. To be fair Dot would always appear pleased to see him and if he was distracted into being a thug to somebody else she'd walk quite happily... until he got bored and decided to terrorise her some more. It was nearly the end of a friendship, but in the end I learnt to cope with it - sometimes walking in a different place and avoiding contact, or stepping in on the other pup with my hand flat in front of him and between him and Dot and saying ENOUGH, until he backed off and repeating this until he left her alone, then calling them both and praising and treating. I would also sometimes keep Dot on her lead so that it was easier for me to block him as he flew in. Sometimes my friend would then get upset and put him on his lead for a bit. But on the whole we worked through it. Sometimes they would play racing and chasing games without the flat out wrestling/squashing and over time Dot has learnt to repel his attacks with a castanet clicking of teeth in his face. Now, once she has told him off he does approach her more gently and is not so physical with her. He also goes to training classes now and is beginning to listen more to his owner.

All the comments about quiet times and resting are brilliant, I think also calm quiet voices , shouting excitable owners can really wind up their dogs.


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