# Not bonding with hubby



## suem56 (Nov 23, 2015)

Dexter is nearly 15 weeks old now and I have been his main carer since we got him at 8 weeks (because I'm the only one home all day). He's a proper velcro pup - which I know is to be expected - and follows me from room to room. If I go upstairs he'll sit at the bottom and whine until I come down - and he does this even though other family members are close by. My husband had doubts about getting a dog, mainly because they're such a tie and big responsibility, but I persuaded him. To his credit he's tried to help out as much as he can - coming to the puppy classes, getting up in the night for the wee breaks even though he has to work the next day and I don't. And he's the one who spends time with him in the evenings trying to keep him entertained and awake (otherwise Dex would crash at 7pm for the night!) - giving me some time to relax. But he gets so little back from Dex who will always ignore him and pester me if I'm available, and he never comes when hubby calls him. I want them to have a great relationship so he doesn't lose interest and give up on the pup, but loves him as much as I do - but I can understand if he's getting so little love back. We have a 17 yr old son who is similarly ignored - but then he makes relatively little effort and isn't so hurt. Any tips on how they can bond better? or is this another area where 15 weeks is still so young and it will likely get better over time?


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Hi, I think it will get better in time, think the puppies latch on to new 'mummies' just like babies do, although i'm sure if a male was the only carer they would do the same, I didn't notice you mention feeding in your post? if your husband is at home during meal times or if feeding times could be moved slightly so that he is, then I would suggest him feeding Dexter may have the biggest impact. Dudley was always, and to an extent still is, a 'Mummy's boy', following me, crying if I walk away when he can't follow etc, but as he got older and hubby started taking him out occasionally, and I left him occasionally overnight with hubby and son, he bonded more with him as well. Now he worries over all of us!


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## suem56 (Nov 23, 2015)

Thanks Dawn - he does give him the occasional meal but we can increase that big time - had never occurred to me really so thanks for the tip. He does walk him in the evening - but it's more of a drag tbh


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

You could also use some of his tea to have a nice game with you all so you each have a portion and spread out and call him in turn to each of you. Gives him practice of coming to each person when called as well as each person having some positive interactions with him.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

On another post I mentioned that I have read recently that puppies cannot properly hear deep male voices and when they can they can perceive it as a threat. Maybe tell your husband to stop calling and work with hand signals at first? Also if your husband plays with him with a very special toy, like a ball, that only the two of them share it'll help build the bond. Finally if it is your husbands job to restrict his access to you, so you can sleep or relax, then Dexter will only learn to hate him, better that they build their relationship naturally.


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## suem56 (Nov 23, 2015)

Thanks Fairlie - that's a good point!


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