# help



## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

Help. I have a 7 year old cockapoo. She is super sweet (loves my 9 year old son) - but they grew up together since he was two. She gets along great with my cats and other dog. She likes other dogs as long as they are not aggressive or hyper. She is not usually food aggressive. The problem is, she does not like my daughter who is now 15 months old. She never has. She growled at her before the baby was even moving. Then once she started crawling, my cocker would growl when they were 5 feet apart. It has only gotten progressively worse - and she has snapped at the baby. My vet knows her well and said that I either would have to keep them separated (basically for life) or rehome my cocker to a house without young kids. My son will be heartbroken - but as we all know, the baby's safety must come first. My cocker is a loving sweet, trained dog. You can take a bone right out of her mouth. But she does have cocker tendencies (hates to be groomed -so she goes to the professionals for that one). Especially her nails. But she sleeps on the bed. My only issue truly is with my daughter. I don't think it would be fair to have to crate the dog everytime my daughter is out - but for my daughter's saftey. Any suggestions, anyone? Please don't recommend a trainer because she is trained and this is not the issue.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Maybe a behaviour therapist rather than a trainer could help you. So sorry to hear this though.


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## kendal (Jul 16, 2009)

Is your daughter a noisy baby compared to your son. 

Does she demand a lot of your attention that would normally be given to the dog. 


Try giving your dog some og you daughter blankets that have her smell on it. Dogs can be ver easily confused by new things that come into the house I know she has been there for 15 months but if you dog has never had a positive experience around her then she will always be funny with her. 

Try having your daughter around at feeding time hold the dog bowl close to her and give her something to eat (human food of corse lol). This could help establish your daughter in your family unit to your dog. 

People say pack order doesn't exist but you don't have to call it pack order, their is a higherarki in a family, mum, dad, kids then pets even the kids have their own hierarchy withing siblings the oldest generally being in charge. It's possible you dog is seeing you daughter as a new "pack member" and feels its her right to show her her place. So you need to reverse this and assert some authority using your daughter as well as integrating your daughter into the pack. 


Everything is a privilege for your dog, so I would for the time being remove privileges I.e. getting up on the couch or the bed, set up a baby gate in the room where your daughter is going to spend most of her time. That way your dog can sit and watch without getting in the way or needing to be crated. 

Do some training in the house using your daughter, sits, downs,stays paws, eats . Get your dog to wait for her dinner then give her the ok to get it. Keep a lead on her when around your daughter so if ness assert you can give her a lead correction. Just get a cheep one and cut the loop off it letting it drag. 


It's going to take time but it is fixable its just going to take a bit of work.


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## kendal (Jul 16, 2009)

Bellaboots said:


> Please don't recommend a trainer because she is trained and this is not the issue.


I would moste defonetly suggest training classes, a dog never stops learning and you never stop training your dog, every day the Learn. What you dog is doing just now is learn behaviour. It may not even be the trainer who helps you, you could be talking to someone at the class who is in the exact same situation as you and they have just started do ing something that seems to be helping. 


Training isn't just sit and give paw, you trained your dog unconsciously to recognise, that a certainty jacket or pare of boots men walk time, that you walking the a certain cup bored mean dinner time. Her not letting you groom her is a learn behaviour, she knows what to do to make you back off, she has trained you not to brush her, where as your groomer has trained her to let her. The grooming thing is all about being firm with them and letting them now who is boss, then it becomes a valuable bonding experience which you could use to help her bond with your daughter. 
They read everything about us. So yes go a training class, it will not do any harm. Infact I think it could do wonders.


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi, I am sorry to hear you are having problems with your dog and baby. It sounds very stressful!
In the most part I agree with Kendal, training can help as its not so much that your dog is trained and that is it but more that training keeps your dog busy. Learning, connecting with you, reinforcing the bond between the family and the dog and most importantly it reinforces rules and discipline. A bored dog can pick up behaviour issues. It sounds to me that the arrival of your daughter has thrown your dog into a bit of resentful confusion. She is unsure how to deal with the baby and is maybe even a bit fearful of her. so yes try to ensure positive things happen to your dog when she is in the presence of your daughter. Always, always supervise. It only takes a second for a rambunctious toddler to grab fur, an ear or a tail.....
However I would never ever recommend having the baby around at feeding times,while your dog is so uncomfortable in her presence. It could just provoke your dog and cause a preventable accident.
I would also consider moving the dog off your bed and into her own. No jumping up on sofas etc. 
Basically I agree with the vet, keep dog and baby separate, unless you are there to supervise and get help with a qualified trainer. It's too big a risk to do anything else really.
I am not sure where you are from but if you are in the UK then take a look at this website, you will be able to find a good trainer local to you.
http://www.apdt.co.uk/
Good luck.


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## sugerlump (Oct 6, 2012)

yes very sorry to hear some thing like this. but let me say that a dog will growl and bark at any thing that is new ,that has not been there befor..just today ginger carried on some thing awful .just because I had a new flowerpot sitting on the deck. ..she bark and tried to attack it ..and still she will walk around it .so dog can be pretty funny when it comes to new thing that they are not used to . good look with your problem.hope every thing works out for you


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## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

Thank you for everyone's input - but most of that has been done. I have my daughter give her her treats; feed her and make her wait until we say ok - everything you can imagine to make my dog see my daughter as "good" things. When I told the vet this, she said don't do that - they need to be kept separated since the dog has shown aggression. She is not bored and nor does she get less time with us. In fact, we go for lots of walks (son, baby, and dogs). We play outside and she throws the ball for the dog. Bella (the dog) loves all of us, but in other situations, she is aggressive. If we are in the kitchen and Bella comes in, she growls if the baby is nearby. If we are in the living room and the dog is on the couch, Bella will growl when the baby is not even close to her but Bella sees her (as I said, she started this way before the baby was even crawling). She has the baby's smell everywhere, blankets, chairs, etc. I have another dog (a Goldendoodle) that loves the baby and they cuddle together all the time. My daughter is not loud or hyper and is a very calm sweet little girl...so that is not the issue either. I can't imagine getting rid of Bella. The baby is too young to take her her for training classes with Bella to establish her authority that way. Any thoughts?


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## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

In addition, Bella 'LOVES' the baby when she has food;sits under her high chair in case anything drops, and is the first to run into the baby's room when the baby wakes up - with her tail wagging. But when they are in close proximity, the dog growls. The baby has never hurt her - and as I said, this all started before the baby could even get close to the dog. My son is a typical 9 year old with lots of energy - and Bella LOVES him. She has always preferred men to women. So what next?


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## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

Oops and one more thing, Bella may be a cockapoo - but she took on and looks mostly like a cocker spaniel.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Did something happen when your daughter was born or shortly after? Either to you or to Bella and she is associating this bad/stressful thing with your daughter?


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

It is really difficult, if you hate the idea of parting with her I would definitely say it would be worth getting a dog behaviourist in, I think they would have a much better idea when actually observing her behaviour at home. Although I would say that maybe she (the dog) needs to be kept off the sofa and bed as she may see herself as higher in hierarchy at the moment.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

As you know this is not an easy situation. I would strongly advise that if the baby is not in her high chair or bed then your beautiful Bella should be out of the room behind a baby gate.
In time you may be able to reintroduce her to family time, but as others have said you may need to stop her being on furniture.
If she is in the room with you all, perhaps you should consider a basket muzzle and a long line to ensure your daughter's safety.
One bite would be one too many.
Good luck and take care.


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

I feel for you as you are feeling torn, it sounds like you have tried many things and it may just need lots of reinforcement and time, but you may be able to get this to work. However you and your family and Bella are going through this and if it just can’t continue, then rehome Bella to the very best home you can find. I am not against rehoming dogs if it is the best for the dog. You care as you have posted on here, it won’t be easy to rehome her, it will hurt you more than it hurts her, but it is your choice.. Sorry I am not much help but I do wish you luck and happiness xxx


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## benson (Apr 18, 2012)

Not going to be much help but my daughter has a Westie he is coming up for 9 now when he was 4 my daughter had my grandson Ashton, Harvey has growled at him from the first day Ash came home it was obviously jealousy dont think he has ever seriously snapped at him but I could be wrong, Ash is 5 now and still regularly gets growled at if he goes too near although ash loves him and is always throwing toys for him etc. he also sat under ash's high chair and got the scraps, however when my daughters new partners 9 year old son got a little rough playing with Ash Harvey went to sit near Ash and was clearly going to his defence he might not like him but nobody else was going to hurt him attitude so maybe there is hope for Bella, will keep fingers crossed!!


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## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

*thanks*

Thanks again for all the emails. I am going to talk to a dog trainer as well. If she says this won't change - then Bella unfortunately will have to be rehomed. In the meantime, yesterday I watched a cesar millan show that involved a cocker. That dog was alot more aggressive then Bella - but I did see a few tricks to try. So yesterday when Bella growled at the baby, I hushed her and tapped her on the side. She DID NOT like that. After about three times, she went off into her crate (which she loves by the way). Then today, she has really kept her distance from the baby. Progress???? Will keep you all posted.


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## arlo (Mar 11, 2013)

How are things going now? Did the progress keep up?


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## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

*Bella*

Well we are still at the same place. I have been trying a calming collar (Sentry) that was recommended by someone at Petsmart. She has been wearing it for almost two weeks - I see absolutely no difference in her behavior. I have been working on the food (something I did when my son was little but haven't reinforced in a very long time as my son is almost 10). Not that this was an issue but to reinforce me as the Alpha. My daughter is usually next to me when we do this. Don't worry, I keep enough distance between Bella and the baby so she does not get bit. When I can't really watch the two, I put Bella in her crate. It is all I can do for now. If it ever comes to the point of rehoming Bella, just know that is my last resort - I am trying to work it out. I love my cockapoo - but I love my daughter more. We are trying. If anyone has any more ideas, I am open to them. And if any behaviorist is reading this, please email. Cost is a factor and I can't hire a behaviorist. Thanks everyone.


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## Tecstar (Apr 17, 2013)

I would certainly look to do all you can to reinforce Bella's position at the bottom. 
What we do with Ollie is:
Entering the house last
We eat a cracker before serving Ollie, and never watch him eat
Ensuring that all unwanted behaviour is dealt with
Never letting him outside just because he barks

I found this via google search for "training dog position pack":
http://ezinearticles.com/?Considering-the-Wolf-Pack-Instinct---Dog-Training&id=5490203

Hope this helps


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## Tecstar (Apr 17, 2013)

Heres some more: 
http://suite101.com/article/alpha-exercises-for-dog-owners-a78978
http://www.canismajor.com/dog/alpha1.html
http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_LeaderPack.html

Also have a look on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/results?sear...66.8.8.0...0.0...1ac.1.11.youtube.sGZ_1GlAUtw

http://www.youtube.com/results?sear....7j2.9.0...0.0...1ac.1.11.youtube.MJUH_DAkeVk


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## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

*bella*

Thanks everyone. Just read the articles and watched the you tube videos. There is no easy solution...one day at a time for now.


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## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

*To everyone*

To all of you with all of your kind words and support - Bella has found a new home! It was a very difficult decision, but one I had to make for my daughter. Yet, I knew Bella was a great dog and did not deserve to be put down. With the amazing help of Carolina Poodle Rescue - In less than a month Bella was adopted by an amazing woman - it was love at first sight. She has sent us updates and photos - and as much as we miss Bella - it was the right thing for everyone all around. Bella will now have her second wonderful home. We had her for the first half of her life and Caroline has her for the second half. Love to all.


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## Tecstar (Apr 17, 2013)

Thanks for the update. Good news!

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

Wonderful news


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

So glad it worked out well for Bella in the end. As you say, she deserved a home to be happy in. Great news. Wishing you well.


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## Muttley Brody (Feb 14, 2012)

So pleased it has all worked out.


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## Bellaboots (May 4, 2013)

*Bella Boots*

I just realized that I did not keep everyone fully informed. In March of 2014 - Bella did bite my daughter - resulting in 5 stitches to the face. So rehoming her was not something I took lightly - as you all know - I was dealing with Bella's aggression towards my daughter from day one. After two years of trying - and then ultimately the dog bite - I did not have a choice but to rehome her. But again, after only 1 month - she found a great home....and I am happy for her. My daughter will now have a scar on her cheek for life as a reminder of Bella.


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