# Separation anxiety



## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

Oh dear.

Hattie is starting to get very agitated when she is left alone downstairs by herself. I have a stair gate at the bottom of the stairs to stop her from coming upstairs and until recently she was very happy about us going upstairs and leaving her for a while, she just went to sleep on our shoes.

In the last few days she has started to whine and yelp as soon as she is left alone. It got so bad earlier that she forced her head through the banisters and tried to force her way onto the stairs. 

I guess the most obvious thing to do is just ignore this until she gets used to it? The problem is as well, i know we should be waiting until she is quiet before we go down as we will be rewarding her behaviour in her eyes but this is really hard if I need to actually go back downstairs!

What tactics have you used to try and reduce separation anxiety? I desperately do not want a clingy, needy dog that cannot bear to spend any time alone  When we go out for a while, we put Hattie in her crate and leave her with a filled kong which really helps at distracting her but I can't do this every time I go upstairs!!


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## flounder_1 (May 12, 2011)

Could you try going up a few stairs then coming down and rewarding Hattie and making a big fuss if she is quiet (which hopefully she will be as she can see you the whole time) Do this a few times and then go up another 2 stairs. Repeat increasing the distance and time. If she barks or whines then ignore her when you come back down.


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## Janev1000 (Oct 4, 2011)

Oh dear! Biscuit is like this too so maybe this is where their related bit comes in We had have had this from the start though and nothing I did helped apart from putting him in a covered crate, which I agree, you can't do every time you leave the room. In the end, I allowed Biscuit to follow me upstairs, which makes everything a lot easier for me, although he sleeps downstairs in his crate at night and doesn't make a peep until we get him in the morning. I still have to close a door on him to do certain things like put the rubbish out and I can hear him barking and yelping like crazy! I am hoping that by getting a second poo, his general anxiety may ease a little. It does seem to be a very common issue with poos though and it seems more unusual to hear of one that doesn't follow you around! Sorry I can't offer any advice. x


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## glitzydebs (Jun 10, 2011)

Oh welcome to my world. Pushca cries if I go into a shop for one minute never mind being left at home. I have taken advice off here and ignore her when I come back in or giving treats when she is good and doesn't whine the street down. She has got better so perseverance is the key but so hard.


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

It is quite normal for some puppies to act like shadows and to become distressed if their owners leave the room or go upstairs. You can either ignore it completely or you can use treats to reward. 

You could try getting Hattie to sit at the bottom of the stairs and rewarding her, then close the stair gate and reward her. Then from the top of the stairs throw a treat down to her. You could also disappear out of sight and then reappear and throw another treat down. Alternatively you could walk up the stairs and straight down again and treat when you reach the bottom. It is basically about getting her used to you leaving her and coming back again but adding a positive reinforcement. You would also use this when leaving the room...leave the room, come straight back and reward and then stay away a bit longer each time. Never reward barking or whining! 

When I first got Daisy she had a serious issue with seperation however we can now leave the room/house etc with no problems. We have never been able to crate her except for in the car with Millie (but that is only a recent development for us!  ) but we have a much more relaxed dog than the one we got at 5 months old.


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## Skyesdog (Jun 7, 2012)

Lola is the same, fine at night but doesn't like being apart from us if we are elsewhere in the house! I have found that she is a bit more settled if the radio is on in the kitchen with her - worth a try!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

I think Sarah's advice is spot on and Millie had some really serious separation anxiety issues when she first got her.

You could also try this in addition. I trained Obi on the Sit and Wait commands as soon as we got him. I didn't use a stair gate (I was so glad to be rid of them after my daughter didn't need them, I couldn't bring myself to put it up again ) and every time he followed me to the stairs I would ask him to Sit and Wait. I think he realised that if I said Wait I was coming back. He would lie down at the bottom step. Obviously treat to re-enforce all of this. 

Now he's older and obviously housetrained, I'm more relaxed about him going upstairs. We have turning stairs and his favourite place to park himself is on the first little stair landing about 4 steps up. Now I have to ensure I don't trip over him on the way down as he won't budge out of the way...not that easy to do when you're carrying a very full laundry basket!


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## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

Thank you all for the advice, some great ideas here which I will start to put into practise today! Treats sound like a good idea!

It also depends on what mood she is in and how tired she is as to whether she can be bothered to make a fuss or not!

Eleanor


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

I think it's a cockapoo trait, why not just stick with it and let her be with you? Mine stick with me like Velcro and I love that about them! They are fine when I go out and settle down to sleep but when I am at home they have to be with me.


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## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

tessybear said:


> I think it's a cockapoo trait, why not just stick with it and let her be with you? Mine stick with me like Velcro and I love that about them! They are fine when I go out and settle down to sleep but when I am at home they have to be with me.


I'm not sure I want a dog that follows me everywhere  as sweet as it is that they want to be with you. If you let them follow you everywhere how do you then ensure that they do cope when you go out?

It's fine to a degree but I am worried that she will not cope when she has to be left alone one day a week (dog walker coming at lunchtime)come september. I also don't want her to get too reliant on me as even though my girlfriend works from home, I am back to my teaching job full time in september.

I think i will ease up a bit on letting her upstairs from time to time but from a safety point of view it's not great. She can get up the stairs but not down!


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

Mine don't have a problem with me going out or working at all. I am also a teacher. They settle down to sleep when I leave the house and are quite happy to go to dare care and with dog walkers, it's just when I am at home they want to be with me. What you view as clingy and needy others may see as affectionate and loving!


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

It's really a tricky one... I let Betty follow me around everywhere from day one as I thought it was so sweet. I now cannot go out of sight without her making a fuss ( although a little better since getting Ted as she is more distracted). I wonder if I had been stricter with her from the start she would have been any different. Ted is totally different and not as focused on me. 
Betty will go in her crate at night (downstairs) no bother...but I have just put a stairgate at the bottom of the stairs because of some building work going on in the house....you should hear the noise -you would think that I am abandoning her forever!! I have read if they have SA you need to do the leaving in ''little steps'' and no rush the process - it can be difficult when life is so busy so as Tess says it may be easier to let her be your little shadow.


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## Janev1000 (Oct 4, 2011)

I know how you feel Eleanor and to be honest, I wasn't keen on the idea in the beginning either. However, I barley notice that Biscuit follows me now and have become totally immune to the point that it feels strange if he isn't there. He is so quiet and non-attention seeking that it is easy to get on with things around him. I also have no problems in leaving him - I just do it - although I only have to do this for a couple of hours of so and not that often. I am sure that if I had had to leave him for longer, I might have adopted a different approach but couldn't see the point with the situation I am currently in. I am sure the advice you've been given about treating her might help you in this situation and I'll be interested to hear how you get on. x


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

Yes I think you have described it well Jane. If mine were being a nuisance or demanding I wouldnt like them following me everywhere but as they as so quiet and non attention seeking I don't mind, they are just content to be next to me and I don't really even notice them, sometimes I even step on Bonnie as I forget she is there and she tends to stay close to my feet!


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## Janev1000 (Oct 4, 2011)

Yes, sometimes I think 'where's Biscuit?' and then see he's right under the table by my feet! It's like having a permanent bodyguard! x


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## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

Janev1000 said:


> Yes, sometimes I think 'where's Biscuit?' and then see he's right under the table by my feet! It's like having a permanent bodyguard! x


Ha, I did that this morning, she was under my feet and i stood on her!


Thanks again for all the different advice. I guess it all boils down to what your expectations are about your dog, based on your own circumstances. I know that I need to work on making Hattie a dog that is ok spending _some_ time in her own company. This morning I have followed Sarah's advice given about treating her as I go upstairs. She responded to this well and waited quietly while I went upstairs for a couple of minutes  We will keep working on this, using different strategies and will hopefully get there gradually. Like colin said, needs to be little steps


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

I am glad it is going well so far  She is only young and will soon adapt. Daisy used to cry outside the loo and allsorts but now both dogs are content to just be 'around' us. Thankfully Daisy no longer scratches my lounge door when I go upstairs (Blimey I need a new one!) but now that we don't have to worry about accidents I don't mind them following me up there.  Mine view me leaving the room and me going out differently so dont worry.


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

I think you don't want to try and achieve too much to soon. If you are relaxed about letting her follow you you will find as she gets older she will naturally gain confidence to be away from you. If you force the situation now you could be setting up anxiety which will be difficult to break. My Hattie was left in my car (crated) for an hour at a time from day one as I had to sort my horse and she could not be out in the yard as the owners do not allow other dogs on their premises. She did whine when I went out of site but as she spent the rest of her time in my company she soon relaxed and stopped. It is funny but Minton who is generally much more chilled will now whine when he sees me walk away from the car, Hattie is now quiet, but as soon as I am out of site he is quiet. I think it may be a poodle thing we had one when I was a child and she whined whenever one of us left the room or went into a shop! Sorry to waffle on probably not much help but you will be amazed how they adapt.


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## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

No sue, thanks, it is useful to know they get better.

Hattie has this morning managed to squeeze through the stair gate gaps. I am astounded as they are really narrow! So, for now, she is allowed to come upstairs. I think it's the physical barrier she hates as when she came upstairs she ended up sleeping in a separate room from where I was! What a contrary mary!


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

Yes Sue it must be the poodle side. I have a friend who used to breed standard poodles and she tells me her poodles all used to follow her everywhere just like mine do.


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