# Please Tell Me It Gets Better!



## Fiver (Nov 26, 2011)

I don't know where to start or what to do for the best.I thought I was a good owner but now I'm not so sure.The trainer at Milo's class asked me if I had children,I thought it a strange question but answered yes I have two.She followed up with "did I bring them up to be rude and ill mannered" No of course not I replied naively, she retorted with "then why are you bringing your dog up to be ill mannered".I can honestly say I felt gutted and embarrassed.Oh how I wish the floor could have swallowed me up.This was the first time this particular trainer had taken our class and Milo and mine 4th visit, she was getting us in turn to walk our dogs towards a person without a dog to see how they greeted and reacted to people.Of course Milo had to be the only one that jumped up and got over excited and yes I know he's a pain,that is why I'm at training class.....please let me go back a few months

Milo is now 6 months old and when we got him all I wanted was a well behaved friendly pup to join our family and be a furry friend for my grandchildren.Friendly he certainly is,he's also very excitable and intelligent.He house trained very quickly once we showed him how to ring his bell to be let out because he didn't bark.He will sit on command,give his paw.He hated going in his crate and so after weeks of persevering we gave up and he now sleeps on the landing.When we are out he has the run of the hall,kitchen and landing and he's great.No mess ,nothing. He's walked twice a day,once off lead and the other on lead.On lead he pulled badly but with treats and lots of stopping and going back he's a lot better unless there are people about and then he gets over excited again,I either distract him or make him sit and wait for them to pass.Off lead his recall his good,he will go up to people but comes away when called.
At 13 weeks old we joined a puppy class and went every week for 10 weeks in hind sight it was a mistake.The class was held in a small room with too many pups and too much contact with each other and not once did the trainer offer any advice on correcting behavior.We were presented with a rosette for what I do not know,Milo could only walk on his back legs pulling to get to the dog in front of him.Wouldn't give his toy up and came out more excited than when we went in.On recommendation we joined our present class and she seems a far better trainer albeit a bit out spoken.Milo has failed to get his rosette and has to stay in this class because his recall was non existing and he wouldn't give his toy up.She says he's possessive and guarding and yes he is with toys and I'm horrified! We have in total been to puppy classes for 15 weeks and I've still got an over excited,ill mannered,toy guarding dog.Is it me, what am I doing wrong? I work with him at home I offer high value treats for his toy and he does reluctantly give it up and then lunges to get it back.Do I remove his toys? 
Please any advice would be welcome I am at a loss what to do 

Val


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## puppylove (Jul 25, 2011)

Hi Val, so sorry to hear that you are upset. I honestly don't think you are doing anything wrong and I know of other friends who have been upset, even tearful, by the insensitive comments of some trainers. 

Don't let this person knock your confidence and I am sure if you persevere things will improve. I am speaking from personal experience and I know that if you stick in and keep practising you will achieve your goals. 

Re the toys it is a good idea to tidy them away at night and make him sit nicely before you give him a toy. Milo is still so young and still learning what is expected of him. As you said you are at the training class to get help with his behaviours and you would expect some good advice from your trainers. Good luck and don't give up on Milo. xx


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

Oh dear Val, sorry to hear that you are having issues with training. It is a shame that when you are attending classes trying to do the right thing that thsi trainer has then knocked your confidence and been rude in this way. Did they give you practical advice on how to deal with the jumping up? It is all very clever being critical but what you need was practical advice to help you. 

I agree with Puppylove about the toys, they are your toys and you let him have them. Never leave them lying around. A trainer I went to recently suggested having a special toy(s) that you use for one to one play with your dog. This signifies 'special playtime' and will improve your dogs focus on you. I have just bought two tuggy toys for mine but I must admit with the school holidays I am not getting as much training done as I would like to.

Sometimes I think it will also never end. Everytime I think I make some headway with Daisy we get another issue. Daisy barks at people and still has no recall as she is so focussed on finding the neighbourhood cats. I am now looking at getting a trainer out to my home to help me! Please don't feel that you are alone and if you still have trouble with this trainer I would find someone who doesn't use rudeness to get her message across. 

Good luck.  x


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

Oh dear.. can I ask what technique you use for taking the toy off Milo??

I have been to three different trainers, the first sounding very like the one you are using now, critical but not helpful

The trainer I'm using now is brilliant compared to the others...I would urge you to keep trying to find one you are happy with and you can work with...it makes such a difference.

What she suggest is:

Play a tugging game with the dog and when you want it to release hold the dogs collar gently in one hand and the toy in the other hand but do not pull on it..let it go completely limp....hold the position until the dog lets go...then say YES/or click and let the game start over again.....repeat, repeat , repeat This shows the dog that you are in control of the game and the toy...the fun starts and stops when YOU want it to.

I hope this helps


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## designsbyisis (Dec 27, 2011)

I just wanted to say that I thought the trainers comments were very rude. Surely by the fact that you are attending a class means that you are taking positive steps towards training your dog. 

Surely applying rules of positive reinforcement to dog training should also apply to the treatment of the owner ? 

Good luck with future training. I would love to go back to classes with Dexter as we had a really positive set of 6 puppy classes. But I can't really afford it at present as the ones near me are all really expensive. So my training has to be from reading books, picking up tips here etc 


Sent from my iPhone 
Lisa - mum of 3 boys, Dexter Cockapoo & 4 hens !


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## Dextersmum (Feb 9, 2012)

Hi Val,
I just want to say don't be too hard on yourself and don't expect too much from Milo,he is only 6 months old! My Dexter didn't even start to listen to me properly until he'd turned 6 months. They are still very immature at this age and are just waiting to be told what to do. Stick to your guns and persevere and things WILL get better! He's just a baby at the moment. You don't expect a toddler to be perfectly well behaved and likewise,you shouldn't expect it from 6 month old Milo. Try to be patient with him,he's still learning  And as for the 'trainer'..it seems like she's power hungry!
Give Milo a hug from me xx


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## flounder_1 (May 12, 2011)

What a horrible woman she sounds (the trainer that is!) You're at training classes to learn not be told off. As the others have said, Milo is still young and as he matures he will settle down.
Lolly still sometimes jumps up at people we meet in excitement (especially Julie (Milliedog here who she literally bounces at! ) I tell her off everytime and if she persists I put on her lead for a few minutes 'time out' but she still can't help herself. Luckily she only seems to do it to other dog owners (usually while I'm standing chatting to them) who all understand and don't seem bothered while I am busy apologising to them and telling Lolly off at the same time!


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

Sorry forgot to add, if jumping up is an issue this is what we were shown.

Have your dog on it's lead in the sit position have a helper walk up to you and your dog, if your dog jumps up the helper must say''whoops'' immediately turn it's back on the dog and walk about ten steps in the opposite direction. Keep repeating until the dog does not jump up ( patience required!!) as soon as it does not jump up REWARD with a treat. After succeeding a few times make it more difficult by the helper approaching the dog in a more excitable way...saying something like hellooo little puppy, or pup, pup ,pup ....it's obviously more challenging for the dog but if you keep repeating the dog will eventually not jump and and again REWARD quickly.
In time the dog will learn to sit when it greets people rather than jump up as he knows that this will get him a reward and jumping up gets him nothing ( that's the theory anyway)...
It's really important not to ''welcome'' a jumping up dog as you are praising and encouraging incorrect behaviour...
You need to try this exercise with different people in different enviroments ...

Our trainer demonstrated this in class last week and had success after only about ten attempts with a very excited Labrador puppy.

Apologies if you are already trying the above but it may help someone else as I had not been taught this technique by previous trainers.


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## AshleyHarris22 (Jun 18, 2012)

Hi Val, 

I too was upset by a trainer quite recently at my puppies first puppy class, i genuinely do not think that they think before they speak or see their comments as offensive or upsetting. The trainer asked me if i'd seen Fiji (our puppy) with his mum (which i had) and whether i'd brought him from a pet shop (which i hadn't). I did a lot of research before buying Fiji and knew what she was insinuating with those comments, hence why i was upset!

As long as you've got a happy pup who is well behaved (which it sounds like you do)then you really should take it with a pinch of salt. He's still only a baby and these things take time.. You sound as though you're doing all the right things and i'm sure that Milo will get there in the end..


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## TraceyT33 (Jun 25, 2012)

im not sure after reading this thread i will bother with training classes..... think i will just take advice from this wonderful forum


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## DebsH (Jun 24, 2012)

Quite frankly I'd tell the trainer to go stuff herself. And I'm not normally an outspoken person!
You sound like you are working really hard with your pup, don't let this trainer knock your confidence. Find another one who is supportive and helpful


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## anndante (Oct 26, 2011)

What horrible comments. Training is supposed to be positive for both owner and dog, not undermining their self confidence. You are doing all the right things and going to the classes. Suggestions how to improve the situation were what was needed, not negative comments. Would feel very wary about going to classes with a person with that attitude.


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## jannie (Aug 6, 2012)

Hi Val , there's a lot of snobbery out there for some quarters about oodles of any kind I beginning to learn that , you seem to be doing a wonderful job from what I can see try not to let this women make you nervous is any way Milo will pick it up stick you two fingers up ( joking ) poke your tongue out hold you head up high and don't let her worry you in anyway, should have asked her if her mum brought her up with out any manners to do that to anyone is beyond me not all these trainers know everything and different things work with different dogs your a grandmother you know that ! sorry if i have offended anyone but i hate ppl that have a little bit of power and behave like her


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## Muttley Brody (Feb 14, 2012)

I was so sorry to read what had happened. You have gone to dog training for both you and your dog to learn, the trainer should be there to help you not to make you feel despondent. 

At that age they are still babies and I am sure you are doing an excellent job. I hope you manage to put this behind you quickly and enjoy future training with your dog.


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

I agree that it could well be snobbery about oodles. My trainer although quite good was blatant in her favouritism for pedigrees. Dexter was by far the best behaved in the obedience class ( although I have to admit still jumps up at people at home!) and she gave the rosette for top dog to a retriever who was nowhere near as good as Dexter. My daughter who was watching couldn't believe it! 
I would find a new class if I was you, some people are good with dogs and rubbish with people!


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Oh Val, how rude of the trainer to speak to you in this way .. forget Milo for a moment, it is just not needed to ask if you would bring up ill mannered children etc .. very rude actually...

Anyway you are clearly a loving and attentive dog owner, who loves her dog, puts lots of effort in, gets help from forums and friends.. all dogs are different and if Milo does take a bit longer to train this is not a reflection on you as his owner. I have 3 dogs all different, I don't train them any differently but they all learn and respond at different rates etc ...

Please don't let others knock you or Milo .. stick with it and he will get there in the end.. 

You will always get lots of support on here xxxxx


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## MillieDog (Jun 1, 2011)

Hi Val
Nothing more to add, everyone else has said it all. Just wanted to add my support to you. YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT DOG OWNER and don't let anyone tell you different. Milo sounds like a happy, friendly puppy who is learning to find his feet. What more could you ask for.  :hug:


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## loobylou (Nov 20, 2011)

Hi Val
Sorry to hear you have had a bad experience - i found this with the vetinary nurse at puppy party. Our trainer isnt too bad although Charlie refuses to wait to go through a door if I have gone through but then he has excellent recall so I reckon you can't have both 
Charlie is the same as Milo with his toys and jumping up at home although he doesnt do it when we are out - he's a scaredy cat!
Ignore the trainer, find a new class and just enjoy your time with Milo
Sue x


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Hi Val, hope you are finding comfort in the replies, just to say my Dudley sounds like your boy but you are lucky as Dudley has now stopped coming back to me if there is ANYTHING of more interest, other dogs, kids, leaves!! so i've invested in a long line. At training classes each time my trainer says he's done something good its always followed by 'for an excitable pup like him'!, walking him the other evening as he lunged towards someone I found myself wondering when he may stop this. For jumping up our trainer advised the 'no pull rule', if he wants to meet another dog or a person you stand at a little distance until he stops pulling - eventually he will stop and either sit or lie down, then you can let him go forward to say hello,(similar to Colin's advice) the real difficulty is asking people to wait for this to happen as everytime someone walks forward saying 'oh I don't mind' and fussing him while he's on 2 legs it sets the training back, Dudley had been doing really well until our 2 weeks holiday and now he's as loopy as ever, but i did see improvements before so I know its possible. To stop them charging out of a door before you open the door but block their way with your legs, you don't need to use any commands, again eventually they will give up trying - you have to make sure they don't push through, then you can say ok and go, this has worked really well with Dudley and he now hesitates when I open the door (ok, most of the time!), and when walking through gates etc, it does take a long time though as with everything, its being consistent. - I'm glad to read that everyone says they are still babies at this stage though as I was starting to worry that I didn't have a really well behaved dog yet - you read all the books and watch all the programmes and think as long as you follow the advice you won't have any problems at all - haha!!


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Oh Sue I just realised you said if you had already gone through the door! well I guess thats different and would take more work.


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## Fiver (Nov 26, 2011)

Thank you everyone for your kind comments and support,it really does mean a lot to me to know someone is out there with a smile and words of encouragement and also to put things into perspective. You are all right Milo is still a baby albeit a very exuberant in your face bouncy baby.I know he will get there in the end and that everything he does correctly has taken a lot of effort on his part because he is so excitable and getting him to listen is an achievement in itself.He has got a fabulous nature,so that to me is the most important thing.Regarding his possession of toys I do need to get that sorted as with young grandchildren and another due in September I cannot leave anything to chance,so that's my priority.
Before I joined this training class I was aware that the trainer could be outspoken and I thought that's ok,I can do outspoken.I just wasn't prepared for it to be so personal and public,silly me thought she would take me to one side and tell me where I was going wrong.How wrong was I, I'm beginning to think we have met in a previous life and I must have upset her. In fairness to her,she really is a very good trainer just not very tactful.So tonight I will put on a thick skin and try again.

Val


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## Mogdog (Feb 6, 2011)

Hi Val, hope your training class goes well tonight. I thought it was incredibly rude and insensitive the way she spoke to you before. As others have said Milo is still a baby ... training is a continual learning curve for most of us. It would have been better if she could have been encouraging and given you some confidence and practical tips.

Anyway, I hope they are able to give you some excellent advice re the toy guarding, and if not I'm sure there are other classes around.

I have recently switched agility class and the new lady is so positive, enthusiastic and encouraging .... it does make a big difference.

Do let us know how you get on.

Sue x


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

Good luck Val, do not let her give you any nonsene:fencing:


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Let us know how you get on..


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Hope it goes well Val .. go on Milo show the trainer your stuff ....


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## caroleb (Feb 14, 2012)

Hi Val,

Hope you had a better experience tonight! All I can add/share is that we had such an easy time with Chester we thought it would be the same with Henry. Couldn't have been more wrong. I can honestly say that for the first 3-4 weeks I thought I'd given my husband the worst 50th birthday present in the world rather than the best. Henry bit everything and every one constantly - I'm surprised Chester still has two ears the same length to be honest BUT he got better and for all the naughty and mischievious things he does, he keeps getting better the older he gets and Milo will too. So hang in there, it does feel sometimes that things will never change but they do. If the trainer keeps making you feel bad though , vote with your feet and give your money to someone who deserves it!! 

PS - I could lend you Henry to make you see how good Milo really is :decision: (I do love him really)

Carole x


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## glitzydebs (Jun 10, 2011)

Ah how sad you sounded hope this forum has cheered you up. You know I think as long as your dog is loving and obedient most of the time you are doing something right. Pushca so annoys me sometimes jumping on people and ignoring me when there's a squirrel about but people are always saying what a sweet dog she is and she really is, and does all the things your pup does. It will get better as Milo gets older honestly.
Just love him and take him out of that horrid lady's class
Good luck


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi Val, sorry only just catching up on this thread. I hope the most recent class went better, do give us an update. 

Your trainer was very rude to make such a personal comment and I can sympathise as something similar happened to me with my puppy trainer. She was clearly not a fan of poodle crosses and she nearly tore my head off she discovered I was feeding a RAW diet. I wished I'd said something at the time but of course didn't as I was so shocked. I did continue to go and my consolation was that Obi was the best in the class by a mile and everyone knew it despite the fact that she never acknowledged it. 

Milo will get there, he's still so young. Work on your priority areas first, one step at a time :hug:


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## Fiver (Nov 26, 2011)

I spent yesterday afternoon agitated at the thought of training class last night,reliving the humiliation of last week with Milo's recall off lead session.Inwardly I was convinced he could do it because he does it daily in the park, only for him to come running to me (with me pleading silently) his ears bobbing wildly,get to about five foot of me ,turn and joyfully leap and greet everyone in the room.The comments she made about me still sting and I came away trying not to snivel.I was determined to go back mainly because she is a good trainer and I'd had a week where i had argued with her in my head ....and I had won 

So yesterday Milo and me had a cuddle,gazed into each others eyes and I pleaded with him to be calm and show them that he could do things right,because it is me she ridicules.
We had a brilliant training session, Milo tried so hard at everything he walked on lead so well,ignoring the other dogs. He focused on me,responding to his name first time.He desperately tried to sit still which is difficult for him because his whole body wags with his tail.He was a little star! The trainer commented on how much he had improved since she had last seen him and gave me positive feedback on the correct way of doing things.Oh it was a joy! Such a pity that the outspoken trainer wasn't there to see it as we were back with our original trainer hopefully for good.

Val


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## Mogdog (Feb 6, 2011)

That's great ... well done Val.:twothumbs:

S x


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## MillieDog (Jun 1, 2011)

Yay well done Milo, you're definitely a star. You know they do feed off vibes, maybe last week he had such bad vibes from Miserable Teacher than he just couldn't concentrate. Then this week he has Happy Teacher and he was only too happy to focus.


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## Duke'smom (Aug 8, 2012)

Thank you for this thread! I'm a Mom of a 6 month old puppy and he does still jump and pulls a bit on his leash (although it is getting better). We went to Puppy Preschool, which really just let him be socialized with other puppies, and learned a few things about how to care for him, and I would like to enroll again in a Canine Companion class, although that might take a while since I haven't heard back from the trainer about when class would start. I am sure that with time Milo will behave much better. For my Duke it seems he is behaving much better especially with loving and bonding moments to show him how much he is appreciated. There are some Youtube videos that also teach puppies on how not to jump and other training. Also the Skete monks books are helpful to me (The Art of Raising a Puppy) although they have their experience from raising German Shepherds, which aren't quite the same in temperament as cockapoos? Anyway, I've about half a dozen puppy books and I need to stop buying them as they all start sounding the same


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

Good boy Milo...mummy is very proud of you


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## Fiver (Nov 26, 2011)

colpa110 said:


> Good boy Milo...mummy is very proud of you


Yes Colin he was a good boy ....phew! I think it's all down to the trainer,the outspoken one is so cutting with some of her comments that I get agitated and Milo picks up on it.
Thanks for your advice on toy guarding and jumping up,I'm putting it all into practice.

Val


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Well done Milo and well done you too Val!


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## DONNA (Jan 7, 2011)

Well Milo sounds excatly like Buddy they are full of charcater and full of fun and sometimes its so hard when they are not perfectly behaved yet i truely believe i can take the blame for some of that because yes i possibly do treat him as an equal rather then a dog!

Buddy still jumps up when off lead at people but he is getting better ,while on lead he dosnt do it any more because since using a gentle leader collar im more incontrol of him while lead walking so he cant ,i would really recommend you to buy one it's the best thing ive brought it just means we can go on nice lovely walks and he walks to heel beautifully.

Also the best thing i taught Buddy was a sit and stay this gives you just that more control if someone comes to the door etc .

Cockapoo's are known for being bouncy yes my dog may not be perfectly mannered but he is gentle friendly and very loving (my daughter pulls him all over the place!!) and very cheeky and i wouldnt change him for the world! dont worry just keep doing the training your doing a great job!!!


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