# Freaked out by new Puppy!



## fjb5001 (Oct 10, 2014)

Let me start off by saying how happy I am that I stumbled upon this forum! I am a brand spanking new owner of a 3 month old cockapoo puppy. Not only is this my first puppy but this is also my first time ever having a dog - so there is a lot for this new mommy to learn and understand!

I feel so horrible saying this but its been 4 days with this new pup and I probably have cried over 5 maybe 6 times? I majorly underestimated how much time, responsibility, and patience it takes to care for a little pup. 5 days ago i was independent and (looking back now) very selfish. 

So needless to say I am in a current state of puppy shock. I know it will take time to readjust it is just so amazingly scary right now and i would love some words of advice! 

Here are some of my main concerns....

My pup is super concerned with being alone - originally i had set up baby gates for a area in my condo and he freaked out so much that he was able to squeeze through the small slats in the fence and get out. Needless to say I am no longer bothering with that play area. I'd love to put him in his crate for when I am cleaning or getting dressed but he is so adverse to going in because he knows its a place where he will lose his freedom!

I've tried putting in his bedding, a peanut butter filled kong, stuff animal toys but it doesnt do anything for him. At this point i'm thinking id have to crawl in there as that would be the only way to get him in! 

At night he does well with only 20-30 minutes of crying in his crate then he settles down for the night. Its just so heartbreaking and i dont want to traumatize him! 

Any suggestions? I feel like i have a great big giant knot in the pit of my stomach ! 

Cuteness attached below


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Sweet little man. 
Keep breathing, take your pup out in the garden until he has toileted, run yourself a hot bath, pour a large glass of wine and go and have a bath. Put some toys and a towel on the floor of the bathroom to amuse your pup and relax. He wants to be with you, let him be ... It is early days your relationship needs to develop, spend as much time as you can with him. Be a calm, consistent companion and he will learn you are a safe reliable person worthy of his total love and devotion.
If he doesn't like the crate during the day don't shut him in it. Make it a cosy safe place, put treats in it but leave the door open. He may choose to settle in there if you are busy and he is tired or he may just sleep on your feet.
Think positive, at least he is good at night


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## fjb5001 (Oct 10, 2014)

Thanks so much for that. I truly need a warm bath and a strong cup of tea. He is such a sweet little guy. Any suggestions on what to do when i NEED to get out my place? i.e. grocery shopping, work, regaining my sanity? Do i just encourage him in his crate and let him break his heart for an hour? 

As you can tell i am super inexperienced so just need some guidance in how to maintain a semi balanced life


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Personally I'd make your kitchen secure, leave the crate in there, open. Leave the TV or radio on, scatter some puppy kibble on the floor and walk out, without making a huge fuss of him - just go. Obviously before you go make sure he has had a wee and poop. If you aren't already doing so I would keep a note of when he goes, they usually have a sort of pattern around their sleep and eating times - but if he does make a mess when you are out, so what? You can clear it up. He should be fine for an hour or so. Try it and see... 
When you get back don't fuss him, open up the back door walk around the garden until he has had a pee and then praise him, go in. Make a cup of tea and have some quality puppy play time and cuddle time.


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## Lindor (Feb 3, 2014)

Marzi said:


> Sweet little man.
> Keep breathing, take your pup out in the garden until he has toileted, run yourself a hot bath, pour a large glass of wine and go and have a bath. Put some toys and a towel on the floor of the bathroom to amuse your pup and relax.



The first time I did that with Maggie, she jumped in and had a bath with me.


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## Miss Lilly (Sep 12, 2014)

Hi
Your puppy is adorable! It sounds like you are on your own with the little mite and I can well understand that you are feeling overwhelmed. It's only day four and both you and the pup have to adjust to your new lives with each other and that takes time and patience. Lots of new puppy owners feel this way and some people even call it the puppy blues (you could try googling this). The advice you've been given so far is great and should really help. Leaving his crate open during the day as much as possible and making it cosy with vet bed and blankets, toys and treats should help to get him used to it. If you see that he is settled in there then its also worth closing the door for short periods (but opening it again before he gets distressed or excited).

I would also add that for now, your pup will benefit hugely from going with you to lots of different places (even if you carry him most of the time) and meeting lots of different people of all shapes and sizes! He will want to chew a lot and will either have started or be about to start teething so investing in some good toys for him will help.

Your pup needs loads and loads of sleep at his age and getting him too excited during play can interfere with that. If you can establish a good routine with regular feeding , training and play, then toileting and naps should be fairly regular - and a tired pup who is settled is easier to leave on his own than an excited, wide awake one!

For me, it helped / helps to enlist lots of friends to spend time with Miss Lilly - initially in my home and then for short periods with them. Sometimes I just need some time out! Your pup needs to learn that you will always come back and that he hasn't been abandoned (either in his crate, when you go out or when you leave him for a little while with other people) - and he will learn this but it will take time and patience. He is too young to be left for long periods so if you are planning on going to work then my advice would be to find a sitter or persuade your boss to let him come with you. 

I could go on and on but really, everything you need to know has already been written by other posters in a multitude of threads - if you use the search box you can easily find a lot of information here. And if its not there, then I'm sure people here will be happy to try and help.

My final bit of advice would be to attend a good puppy class with your little one. He will learn a lot but more importantly, so will you. Be sure to find one that uses positive reinforcement rather than any kind of punitive training approach - apart from being much, much better for your pup he will learn more quickly and you will both have fun and develop a closer bond. You will meet other people in similar situations and you never know, you may even make new friends who can continue to support each other even after the classes have finished.

Good luck!


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

The best advice I can give you is to RELAX and ENJOY your time with this little fur ball. They all want to be with us 24/7 so let him be by your side as much as possible. It works out fine because by giving him all the love and security you can now, they grow up to be loving stable dogs happy to wait for you to return home. Take you pup out and about with you as much as possible. It's a good way of getting him used to lots of hustle and bustle and noise and is another way of building confidence. As for crates....ditch it. You don't need it and he doesn't like it. The world manage to rear puppies before crates came on the scene. I,ve never used one.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

I remember feeling completely overwhelmed that first week and equated it to having just had a baby- you have the 'honeymoon period' where it is all very exciting then the reality of the commitment and hard work kicks in! I too had many tears but within a few weeks it all felt easier as we learnt each others ways and the toilet training settled etc. I'm sure next week will feel easier


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## Datun Walnut (Oct 15, 2013)

As said before, some dogs love the crate for it's security, others can't take to it. Poppy was one of the latter, some of her crying and scratching stopped when we gave up on the crate. 
I don't think there are many hard and fast rules to puppies, if you find things that work, do them and ditch the things that don't. They are all individual but share a common interest in chaos.

Bit by bit you'll both learn about each other. It's probably a bit early to separate from your pup but when it is time, little and often worked for us.

Good luck


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Sounds like you are having a bout of the puppy blue's, just the same as baby ones, you suddenly realise the enormity of the responsibility, it sometimes seems too much but things do get better, the pups get more confident and relaxed away from you, you are getting some good advice, just ensure pup gets love, socialisation and rest. You'll survive.


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## Meredith (Mar 30, 2014)

One of my dogs struggled with the crate and I found putting her in and lying down next to the crate or sitting it in a chair next to me and putting my fingers in the door until she fell asleep worked. She would be fine for a couple hours once she fell asleep. Now she goes in no problem but still doesn't volunteer to hang out in it. I travel a lot so I knew mine would need to get accustomed to a crate for hotel stays and ferry and plane rides and know from experience that if you wait until they are adults it can be near impossible.


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## Milly_pup (Sep 28, 2014)

I agree, you will survive. It gets easier. We had a lot going on right after we got Milly including a very tragic death in the family. There were more than one occasions where I thought I couldn't do it.....but that has all changed. I can't imagine life without Milly now! We don't really have a big social circle so can't just drop Milly off somewhere. You'll adjust and you will find a way to make it work. 

Milly loves her crate and happily goes in there when we are home. It's a different story when we are out and it's still something we are adjusting to. She tends to wee in her crate and we've had poo incidents even after we have taken her right before leaving. We suspect it's seperation anxiety ..again we're keeping an eye on it. It's all a learning curve for us too.

Take care and enjoy the puppy love...


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