# Exasperated & Upset



## Auntie Joan (Feb 11, 2013)

Hi everyone

Just had to talk to someone about this - and you all are definitely the right people as I know I will have your support...

So today I choose Doris, first pick of 4 little girls and it is all very exciting... However I am frustrated and upset because after dinner with friends last night I was very much under scrutiny and their judgement because I am not getting a rescue dog! They seriously gave me quite a hard time about it, bearing in mind I have arranged to go and pick her today so decision has been made! Their families all have rescue dogs and that is their decision and it is such a personal decision I would never pass any judgement on whatever they decided to do with dogs, children....It is their decision that they will have to live with for their dogs lifetime!

in an ideal world everyone should give a home to a rescue dog but I have had bad experiences with rescue dogs in the past...and with babies and children not a million miles away in our 'life plan' I want more assurances about the dogs temperament by knowing where they come from! I don't' want a dog that complicates my life further with issues that they are aggressive with other dogs or they bite and by getting my cockapoo from a breeder there is perhaps less chance of this happening....

Just had to rant and vent a bit as feeling totally unsupported, and feel they have tainted what should be a really happy day.... thanks for listening...


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## Von (Nov 1, 2012)

You are going to love Doris and adore having the puppy of your choice. It's hard when you are dealing with people that you know, but it sounds like they are folk who feel they hold the moral high ground because they have rescue dogs. They don't. You have searched for the dog which suits your lifestyle, and waited patiently for one to become available, which I suspect is more than your friends did when getting their dogs. 

Ignore their comments as best you can. Feel good about how much thought and effort you put into choosing and acquiring Doris, and leave these folk with their smug thoughtlessness out of your head. Doris is worth far more! Have a lovely day, collecting her and know that we are all waiting with love and affection to hear about it


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## tosh (Feb 10, 2012)

Couldn't agree more with Von. Don't let others ruin your day!


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## TraceyT33 (Jun 25, 2012)

Do not let this spoil your day or the time leading up to picking up your Doris. I had a lot of negative views from people generally about getting a dog, although unsettling I ignored and followed my heart. My millie is nearly 8 months old now and she is truly amazing and I couldn't imagine life without her. Hold your head up high and be proud of your decision. It is such an exciting time. Tx


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## redecoffee (Dec 3, 2012)

Tell them that if they don't get purchased, puppies usually end up as rescues but after torment. Also why call them friends if they can't respect your decisions?


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## RangerC (Jan 23, 2013)

I agree with everyone else too joan and fully support you 100%. It's such a personal choice having a dog and you have made the most sensible, informed choice about what sort of puppy you want and what fits temperament wise with your lifestyle. 

I have come across negativity about getting a dog in general although not about not having a rescue dog. One advantage about age is that I don't care what people think and I just give them a defiant look and say "I HAVE done my research you know". 

You ARE doing the right thing so now you've had a rant, put it aside and have a lovely, lovely day. I am so jealous you are getting to see the litter before me (i am considering one of the boy pups folks) and I want to hear all about it when you get back. Don't forget the photos. :hug:


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

There will always be people and friends who have an opinion and they'll give it to you whether you like it or not. If its not about a rescue it will be because it's a poodle cross " designer dog" or something else. Try to ignore it and don't let it spoil your choosing day. Have fun and take lots of pictures!


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## femmedufromage (Oct 20, 2012)

I agree with all the other posts. It is your decision and people will always have a comment to make about something. Enjoy your day and please can we see lots of pictures and I absolutely love the name Doris, very cute.


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

It is nice to want to save all the dogs but rescue dogs are not for everyone. Some of them need expert training. Some are very sick. Some can't be "fixed" at all, you just have to adapt to their issues. 
Many rescue dogs over here end up going back to the shelters because people are not properly informed of the issues or just can't really handle them.


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Totally sympathise with you, my sister fosters dogs that need re-homing and is passionate about rescue dogs, she really tried to get me to have a rescue, I explained that due to hubby's asthma we had decided it had to be a low/non shedding dog, also as a childminder I could not take on a dog with 'issues' . I did actually look into rescue's but there really was nothing around that would have suited what we needed, I even told my sister she could keep an eye out for a poodle cross (not a larger one) in rescue that didn't have issues when I had already decided on a Cockapoo breeder and was just waiting for my pup to be born - in the months that followed she wasn't able to find anything for us, so that made her accepting our decision a lot easier. To be honest I also think taking on a rescue is better when you already have an older stable dog that would help settle it in anyway. I have also met people that have had terrible problems with rescue dogs and then feel really guilty when they can't cope. (although I know there are some amazing, lovely rescue dogs out there). Don't feel guilty, just tell your friends that after research you really feel this is the puppy for you, even though you admire them for giving rescue dogs a home. NOW - Get excited about your gorgeous new puppy, she will come home with you and be part of your family really soon, go shopping and have fun!!


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

I hope that you have a lovely day with your new puppy!
Don't let other people's opinions upset you, they are entiteld to make choices to suit themselves as you are for yourself.
You have done all the research to ensure that hopefully your pup will be sound in mind and body and will be the perfect match for you.

If you really feel weighed down by guilt, sponsor a rescue dog...


Please share pics of lovely Doris - we would all like to see her!


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## flowerchild (Mar 21, 2012)

I didn't want/wasn't able to go through the puppy stage so a rescue dog was the best option. Miss Bette came to my rescue group, and I took her without even meeting her after researching cockapoos. That was just good fortune. Many of my other rescue group volunteers have purchased dogs, including our president, and none of us see anything wrong with it. I say a big noisy raspberry to anyone trying to make you feel bad! Your choice is equally as valid as theirs.

Can't wait to see pictures!!!!


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Please try not to let them get to you. Their opinion will have no bearing what so ever on your life with your new dog so it really does mean nothing in the scheme of things. Sometimes you just have to thank people, smile sweetly and immediately forget their words!
Enjoy your puppy and let them enjoy their rescue dogs. If they keep pressuring and putting their opinions to you perhaps move out of their circle for a while.


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## Auntie Joan (Feb 11, 2013)

Thanks everyone your messages cheered me up no end! The hobby breeders set up was amazing - she was lovely, so helpful, obviously very fond of the pups and loves having her 1 or 2 litters a year (she used to be a mid wife)! Anyway - at first I was completely dumbfounded as to how on earth I was going to choose a pup. I then quickly fell in love with the one and only chocolate nosed pup with some white markings on her face! She is 5 weeks on Monday and she was the only pup that still had blue eyes -haven't changed yet! She looks a little younger than the others by being a little smaller and her coat hasn't yet thickened out as much as the others yet but I am completely smitten. She also seemed to take to me! I will try and figure out how to load some pics for you! Thanks everyone - it didn't ruin the day - forgot all about it once I laid eyes on Doris!


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## Muttley Brody (Feb 14, 2012)

I'm so pleased that today went well for you. Now you can have fun time shopping for lots goodies for Doris and put what happened yesterday behind you.


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Oh Doris sounds cute. If she has a brown nose then her eyes may turn green or hazel? Can't wait to see hoto:


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## Von (Nov 1, 2012)

Glad you had a good day, Doris sounds absolutely delightful - looking forward to the pics


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! So next time they rant at you ask them what would happen to all the newly born puppies if no one bought them? You have chosen the puppy for you. She will be loved, trained cared for.......but in her case this will be so right from the beginning of her life. Would she be more worthy of a loving home if she had been traumatised, neglected, abandoned first? They should be happy that this one will puppy will never end up at the mercy of over worked, over run, under funded rescue centres. 

Now enjoy. You have rescued her.....you just cut out the middleman!


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## Brocky (Jan 15, 2013)

Don't take any notice! I am in a similar position to you. I would get a rescue dog but I have small children and just wouldn't risk it. I haven't told my dad what puppy I'm getting yet because he is a complete pedigree snob! That and the fact that it's a poodle cross will get a very negative reaction so I've told him we're getting a puppy but just not what type. 
Enjoy the build up and try and ignore the negative comments.


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## Janev1000 (Oct 4, 2011)

Doris sounds gorgeous and I love her name! So glad you've managed to forgot those comments and look forward to seeing your pics! x


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## sugerlump (Oct 6, 2012)

it is a real shame that they could be so low as to try to ruin your special day.i am so sorry they can't get a puppy of there choice.perhaps they don't want to be bothered with house breaking, and things like that, you just enjoy your BRAND NEW puppy. and if they just want used ones so be it, I hope you and your new puppy have a wonderful life togeather ok. and personally I would not pay any attention to any of them. .it is ashame that your not like me Haa Haa cause I would tell them to buzz off have a great life with your new puppy


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## Auntie Joan (Feb 11, 2013)

i am so completely over the moon - defo one of the happiest days of my life in the end! thanks again everyone! my husband is a dog and forum virgin - i told him about you all on the drive to Scunthorpe and read your messages - and he was initially surprised then amazed by your support! so thank you all for helping us get there!! As i think he was only 90% there beforehand!

x


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

Joan your friends sounds rather opinionated and maybe should mind their own business, haha! 
Let them have a rescue dog if they want one. I was bitten by one as a child, in fact it bit every child in my road! There are also two rescue dogs near me, the owners have to muzzle them every time they go for a walk. I know there are plenty of success stories but I don't see why you shouldn't choose for yourself! When they see your adorable cockapoo they will be so jealous!


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## mairi1 (Mar 12, 2012)

So glad you enjoyed your day and put the comments to the all of your mind...now can't wait to see pics of little Doris..she sounds adorable 

xxx


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Ah good your hubby is on board more too, my hubby laughs at me for coming on here so much, but it has been invaluable, so much help and support and its lovely to share lots of moments that other people don't care so much about. We will all look forward to hearing about little Doris when she comes home.


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## Jill L (Nov 2, 2012)

Glad you didn't let it spoil your day. I'm with you 100%. I volunteer at a local rescue centre and I went out and bought a puppy! Whilst there are some lovely dogs in rescue, there are an awful lot with issues - some minor, some not so minor. Having had rescue dogs in the past, all of which we loved dearly, we decided this time we wanted to start from the beginning and get a puppy of known parentage, from a reliable breeder and train it our way.
We haven't regretted our decision, even for a second - Cindy is an absolute joy. I'm sure Doris will be too - enjoy!


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## Florida Cockapoo (Aug 24, 2012)

O.P. I'm dealing with this also. Just was over at my parents house, where my sister brought her "new" dog over. This dog was wondering around her apartment complex.... She did try looking for the owner to no success. Needless to say she ended up keeping her. We think she was a stray. She found her on Valentines' Day. So ended up naming her Rose. Needless to say we are buying our dog. She made a comment about how she thinks its Ken (my husband) the wants a "bought" dog. But the true its both of us. Her dog does have issues like not liking men and who knows what else. But since I haven't had a dog in years I wanted to start our's fresh. 

Also we have a stray cat we have had since she was 3-4 months old. I do have a concern for her also. I don't want to get a dog that is aggressive with cats. I know "rescues" test for those types of things, but you really just don't know.

I'm all for doing rescue if I can get a puppy. But then there is the type of dog and size. The Cockapoo fits so well for us. At least where we are at; I haven't found a puppy cockapoo in a rescue. Plus I don't agree with spray/neuter dogs so young and rescue will do as young as 10 weeks or even younger.

So of course we went with a breeder and waiting for a litter to be born. I'm a libertarian politically and of course in my heart. Finally change my political party to the Libertarian Party of Florida. I believe people should have the right to choose what they want as long as you are breaking any laws. As far as I know buying from a breeder you are not breaking any laws. 

I was even was on tonight looking on PetFinder.com and seeing if I could find a dog that would work for us... Couldn't find one. They were either to small, big or herding dogs. 

So you have to do what is right for you....


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## Von (Nov 1, 2012)

Having a dog is a huge commitment, and WHICH dog is a life changing decision for both dog and owner. I think most people think about rescuing a dog at some point in the process, and it's probably at this point that we REALLY start to consider the realities and practicalities.

Personally, for us size of the dog and our age were important - I am 66, and fairly active at the moment, despite arthritis, but find handling a larger dog a strain now, let alone in 10+ years time. The exercise needs of the dog were important too - a dog that is happy with highly active half hours followed by a couple of hours slob around suits us best, particularly as we spend time away in our very small motorhome. The thought of 2 hyperactive canines sharing that confined space on a wet day doesn't bear thinking about! 

Low shedding fur was another consideration - we both have mild asthma, not helped by living with 4 rescue cats for 17 years. We wanted a dog with a basically friendly temperament because our lifestyle involves meeting a lot of new people and their dogs, and new people who are not dog lovers. Cockapoos, along with cocker spaniels, poodles and one or two more seemed likely to suit us, we chose the cockapoo partly for the hybrid vigour, and partly because the ones we had met were just delightful. We wanted a puppy so that we would know and understand its experiences and background from the ground up. We also wanted to enjoy the pleasure of young puppyhood which is such a short time in a dog's life.

We did consider rescuing, but decided not to because the outcome was too unpredictable in the areas which counted for us, and although they couldn't be guaranteed in any dog, the odds were higher in a non rescue puppy.

I meet and admire fellow dog walkers on a daily basis who have rescue dogs, and it is a joy to see dogs revelling in their new lives; some have long ongoing issues, others are confident and friendly, and all their owners are totally committed. At this stage in my own life I am perhaps a little more self centred - I'd like opportunity to have the dog of my choice, just as the ORIGINAL owner of the rescue dog probably had. 

I think Marzi suggested sponsoring a rescue dog, which is the way we will go for the present. We rescued our cats from the local animal shelter - a mother and 3 kittens who brightened our lives and cost us a fortune for 17 years - my self centred decision re our dogs does guilt trip me from time to time!


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## Auntie Joan (Feb 11, 2013)

*Introducing Doris*

Fingers crossed this works - my first time uploading pics...

Doris at 5 weeks.... Take her home in 26 days and counting.....


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## Florida Cockapoo (Aug 24, 2012)

Auntie Joan said:


> Fingers crossed this works - my first time uploading pics...
> 
> Doris at 5 weeks.... Take her home in 26 days and counting.....


She looks quite...


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## Auntie Joan (Feb 11, 2013)

ooo ooo what happened? cut off mid-sentence Kim!?


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Ooh she is so sweet.....I want her!


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

She is so beautiful!!! I am so excited for you!! Can't wait to see more pictures.


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## Florida Cockapoo (Aug 24, 2012)

Auntie Joan said:


> ooo ooo what happened? cut off mid-sentence Kim!?


LOL type O. Was suppose to be "cute".


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## femmedufromage (Oct 20, 2012)

Oh she is adorable and so suits her name.


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## KCsunshine (Apr 16, 2012)

Hi there, Awwww, Doris is sooo cute!!

It's funny when we were waiting for Coco we also had a "friend" telling us we were wrong to get a new puppy and should have gotten a rescue dog. (He also told us we were wrong to get a "designer" dog!) I shut him up by telling him, infact we did research getting a rescue dog long before we knew we wanted a cockapoo, and do you know what, most rescue centres we spoke to were only interested in experienced dog owners, not first time owners like us, they said alot of their dogs needed special care, or would benefit from more experienced handlers as most had had a rough time. I expect the same friends will be first to want to cuddle doris


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Oh Joan sorry to read this, in life we all get other people’s views and opinion when we don’t want or need them, but guess what, many of us are quite capable of making our own decisions in life, just others forget this, especially when it comes to children or pets lol, just smile and enjoy every moment with Doris ...


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## MissesT (Dec 17, 2013)

How's Doris doing. Am currently looking at a breeder in Scunthorpe called Missy (Ann Dollie). I wonder if Doris is from her?


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## lizzybetblue (Feb 15, 2014)

*your choice*

Hi it is your choice and not for anyone rose to dictate to you
Enjoy


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