# Dear ILMC..........



## M&M's mummy (Jul 12, 2011)

Dear ILMC.............

I don't normally do leaving threads but thought I would on this occasion.

I haven't been posting on ILMC for awhile but just having the odd read, as felt the forum was no longer the right forum for me as I haven't liked some of the posts or responses of late and feel this forum is very much being “used” by some for their own motives.

I have always had a strong opinion, but I am not one for being “personal” I normally try and have healthy debates on topics or difference of opinion, but wouldn't tell some-one they were “ self righteous” or “they couldn't give a stuff” what I thought. ( just two comments made to me in the past)

I have also had people join this forum and had some vitriol comments aimed at both me and our club both on here and other forums. 

I did post yesterday, my first in ages what I believe to be a valid question and see it has been removed by MODS yet they have not let me know the reasons as to why. I think this unacceptable as the post was pertinent to the thread and I should have at least been informed of reasons why.

I do feel that the forum is somewhat biased, as some are allowed to say things and get away with it, where others are not allowed to.

I have now decided to leave as this is no longer acceptable to me. I wish for my membership to be deleted.

I am glad to have made friends with some of you :hug: and will continue to see you all on meets and via our clubs FB page.

I will as always endeavour to do the best for cockapoos and my work with our Cockapoo Owners Club will continue as the club goes from strength to strength. 

Shirley.:wave:


( Dare say this will be deleted too...but just proves my point...as know other who left leaving messages were allowed to have theirs)


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Shirley I am so sorry to read this  what can I say ...

... as I want this forum back to its former glory and this is my last stab at it too ... 

I feel lots of members are going   

What can I say to make you stay and give it a final chance?


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Shirley, I'm sad you're leaving. I hope you will change your mind or just take a break and come back. I have to got to know you over the last few months and you are kind and generous person with the health and welfare of Cockapoos at heart. The sad thing about all this warring between people is that everyone is trying to achieve the same thing..... 

I know we will stay in touch and carry on the great work you are doing in the Cockapoo Owners Club. Lots of love.


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## lola24 (Aug 14, 2011)

Shirley, i will be sad to see you go 

I understand that in life not everybody is of the same opinion, there are things that i see that i don't agree with on here but that does not mean it is wrong.
I think the forum has got to a point where if you post with a view that someone else doesn't agree with, you are very much made to feel in the wrong. 

The beauty of this forum is that we have various members with a vast spectrum of experience- breeders/trainers/dog sitters/groomers/pet owners etc etc. Each one of us can bring something to this forum with regards to advice and information. Within each area of knowledge, views differ greatly which also lead to arguments- could we not see this for what it is and use it as further knowledge?

I have owned dogs all of my life, i have been a vet nurse for 10 years, i have trained my own dogs and i run training classes for others, i have bred 2 litters and i have also had a dabble at grooming (although not very well!).I do not know everything!! I learn new things from this forum and its members every day, i try to keep my mind open to new ideas and use them to hopefully make me do the things i do that bit better. I am forever discussing comments made on here with my vet, to see if we can make our practice offer more of what you guys want.

This forum could be such a great place for new and old owners alike to share and pick up information. Both of the clubs have done a fantastic job and i respect those who have set them up for the time and effort that has gone into them. I very regularly point puppy enquiries both of your ways. I also try to point them in the direction of ILMC but it is becoming less and less welcoming.....would it not be better to have 3 great places to point those people to, rather than feeling like they may be thrown to the lions?!

In order to have a positive forum, we need our members- no members, no forum.
How about we try to move it forwards and stop our members feeling like they don't want to be on here any longer ( i know shirley isn't the only one).

Sorry to take over your thread shirley- don't stay away for good


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## mandym (Jun 5, 2011)

Shirley im so sad you are leaving but i do fully understand why because i also agree that there seem to be rules for somebut not for others.som,emembers have been banned or warned for things that other members have simply got away with,ive witnessed it and i know of a few others who think the same.your post that was deleted( that i have posted again) was deleted for absolutely no reason,its unfair and if it continues i will be leaving too,there are clearly favourites on the forum that in my eyes shouldve been banned a long time ago.see you on cockapoo fb shirley xxx


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## Ali79 (Mar 30, 2011)

I am so sorry to see you leave the forum Shirley and hope you change your mind as I do enjoy reading your comments etc and feel that you have a lot to give especially as you and Sarah do such a fantastic job with your own website and fb/twitter pages. I know we will still be in touch on these and that I will still get my Milly fix but hope you reconsider after a short break :hug: x


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

We have all taken breaks for various reasons. There is no reason why you shouldn't come back after a break. I for one have enjoyed reading from your Cockapoo Owners Club and I am sure many others have too. You are obviously passionate about cockapoos like we all are and I think you should continue to contribute here too.


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

tessybear said:


> We have all taken breaks for various reasons. There is no reason why you shouldn't come back after a break. I for one have enjoyed reading from your Cockapoo Owners Club and I am sure many others have too. You are obviously passionate about cockapoos like we all are and I think you should continue to contribute here too.



Agreed .. it not about losing members .. thats the last thing we need .... we are all cockapoo crazy on here and we actually all just love the breed .. so come back .. I am sure (crossed fingers & paws) it will be great on here from now onwards .. if not there won't actually be many members left


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Time will tell! I can promise you though we are tightening up on all the rubbish........there will be no more of it allowed.


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

Do we stay or do we go? Personally I feel the forum still has a lot to offer those who wish to go may want us all to beg them to stay! It is a personal decision do what you want. The benefits from staying may well pay dividends, do not take posts personally, beware the threat of leaving, no one is indispensible! I remain a contributor as I enjoy the forum family. If I decide it is no longer for me you just won't see any posts from me but no big leaving statements.


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## mum2bobs (Jun 23, 2010)

While I am sure Shirley does not need me to talk for her she has clearly stated in her opening line she doesn't normally do leaving statements...........but she has been a main contributor to this forum in giving advice to lots of people. When she took a break before without making any announcement..she got lots of PMs asking her why and to come back etc... so she felt it apt to post a leaving msg and to explain the reasons why. 

She has moved on as the Owners club is very busy and she will be putting her efforts into this and the busy FB group plus she has some other projects on the go to do with cockapoos.


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Shirley obviously wanted to say goodbye and explain her reasons for leaving. She has been upset by things that have happened to her via this forum and she is a real person with real feelings! She is upset about her perfectly valid post being removed without explanation and wanted to question it. I don't see anything wrong in that. Everyone is different and handles stress/emotion in different ways and there is no right or wrong way.


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

Pollypiglet said:


> Do we stay or do we go? Personally I feel the forum still has a lot to offer those who wish to go may want us all to beg them to stay! It is a personal decision do what you want. The benefits from staying may well pay dividends, do not take posts personally, beware the threat of leaving, no one is indispensible! I remain a contributor as I enjoy the forum family. If I decide it is no longer for me you just won't see any posts from me but no big leaving statements.


Shirley is not looking for people to beg her to stay she is just explaining why she wont be contributing anymore. Some may wish to disappear, others may wish to explain their reasons. Shirley has been subjected to bullying on here and has good reasons to not be happy. Others including someone who liked your post ironically made a big leaving statement and then came back. Funny old world but hey ho.....rules for some not for others.


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## anndante (Oct 26, 2011)

Pollypiglet said:


> Do we stay or do we go? Personally I feel the forum still has a lot to offer those who wish to go may want us all to beg them to stay! It is a personal decision do what you want. The benefits from staying may well pay dividends, do not take posts personally, beware the threat of leaving, no one is indispensible! I remain a contributor as I enjoy the forum family. If I decide it is no longer for me you just won't see any posts from me but no big leaving statements.


I have avoided any discussions that seem to have become digs at people as I joined this forum for enjoyment, to find out more about cockapoos and share the joys and sorrows, but this reply to me seems like a dig at the original poster and is totally uncalled for. I have no axe to grind and do not know any of the people involved. I thought that such digs were supposed to be removed and not allowed and things were supposed to be tightened up? Please don't spoil the forum. Perhaps the wording was badly done and it wasn't meant as such?


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

Pollypiglet said:


> Do we stay or do we go? Personally I feel the forum still has a lot to offer those who wish to go may want us all to beg them to stay! It is a personal decision do what you want. The benefits from staying may well pay dividends, do not take posts personally, beware the threat of leaving, no one is indispensible! I remain a contributor as I enjoy the forum family. If I decide it is no longer for me you just won't see any posts from me but no big leaving statements.





anndante said:


> I have avoided any discussions that seem to have become digs at people as I joined this forum for enjoyment, to find out more about cockapoos and share the joys and sorrows, but this reply to me seems like a dig at the original poster and is totally uncalled for. I have no axe to grind and do not know any of the people involved. I thought that such digs were supposed to be removed and not allowed and things were supposed to be tightened up? Please don't spoil the forum. Perhaps the wording was badly done and it wasn't meant as such?


Absolutely! Well said!


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## emmelg (Mar 4, 2012)

I think it's a really nice gesture by saying goodbye( it shows you have feelings ), I for one will be disappointed to see you leave,but as others have mentioned you have your reasons and it is your decision, I will have to join coc to keep up with all of the great things that you do xx


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi, I am going to close this now. 

I am sorry Shirley feels she has to leave but that is bsolutely her right. Whether she wanted post to say goodbye and state her reasons for leaving is entirely up to her. I can feel yet again ' sides' developing on this thread,which is pointless. 
I wish Shirley all the best and perhaps one day she may want to come back, which she will be welcome to do.


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