# Attachment to me causing problems.



## Auntyspan (Sep 19, 2020)

Hi there. We are a family of 4 and have just adopted a beautiful 12 week old Cockapoo. We have had him at home for 3 weeks. It is our first dog as a family (we also have two cats). Our puppy was purchased predominantly as a family dog, however, my eldest daughter (14) has wanted a dog since she was very small and therefore the general thinking was that it would really be ‘her’ dog. 
Unfortunately our puppy is very attached to me, and only wants to be with me. He whines when I’m not in the room, he doesn’t really want to play with anyone else, and it’s causing huge problems - even my husband is ‘jealous’ of the dogs attachment to me. 
I am doing my best and encouraging my daughters to feed him, play with him, train him and give him treats but it’s really not working. 
What can I do? And will this pass??


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

It is really normal for baby pups to bond best with one person and I suspect as "mum" much of the care has fallen to you in the early days so not surprising that he has bonded best with you. The rest of them really do need to get involved with his care and in particular training and play to build their own bonds. If your 14 year old wants him as "her" dog then she needs to start with lots of training with him especially to build their bond.


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## Zee (Sep 30, 2020)

Hi there,
I've had the same issue with our (almost) 4 month cockapoo, Raffi. What has helped is teaching my teenaged daughters how to train him. They use fun games like 'fetch' (initially with me in the garden or kitchen, then gradually with me getting closer to the door) and they take turns taking him on the afternoon/evening walks. (As borderline OCD I have to relinquish my angst about 'proper pavement etiquette' and allow them to do it 'their' way. Reminder to self: this is about creating a bond between the girls and Raffi, so it's not the end of the world if he doesn't 'sit' every time before crossing the road when he's with them!) 

Also, the girls take turns to feed Raffi his meals, making sure that I'm not the only one being 'mummy' and 'provider'. Grooming him is another activitiy that has helped. Once Raffi is droopy tired after zooming around like a mad little thing at night, the girls take out the lavender oil (put some on their hands) and it's time to comb, brush, cuddle with Raffi. Initially I was there too, but I've gradually moved away to the sofa, and then out of the room entirely. It has taken a few weeks and a ton of patience, but we are seeing a change in that I can now disappear and after some token whining, Raffi is happy to be with his other humans. 

Hope this helps and good luck!


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## Guen20 (Sep 17, 2020)

hello,
we got our Guen less than 3 weeks ago. From minute 1, she attached to my GF and now it's done. I am existing on the sideline, still get some attention but once she's alone with me, she goes looking for her love.
I believe time will make us bonding much better, but for now this is the situation..

will update! 

cheers
Federico


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## samhughes (5 mo ago)

Hi I have a 11 month old cockapoo Ralphie he is very bonded to me but its only been me and him since I got him as a 10 week old pup he follow me around the house from room to room he is a really good dog to be honest but he has just started to howl when I go out he is not left for longer than 3/ 4 hours when I have to work but I've found myself this passed week having to take him with me any advice please?


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

You need to firstly work out if this is true separation anxiety or if he is bored. So what does he do when you go out? Will he eat treats and play or does he just mope and howl and get upset.

For separation anxiety you need to not leave him at all while you are working on it and then get him used to things very gradually starting with just going out of the door and straight back in without stressing.


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