# Suddenly unsettled at night



## ka_tri_na_ (May 29, 2014)

Hello fellow Cockapoo parents,

This is my first time posting on here, so bear with me if I appear like an amateur...

I have a Cockapoo girl puppy called Lottie who is approaching 14 weeks of age, and overall she has settled in pretty well into our home. She seems like a happy normal puppy! I did a lot of research before I bought her (and hours/days more since she arrived!) so I hope I have been handling her normal puppy problems in the correct way. I've had help from family/friends who have had puppies also. I do not use any harsh methods on her - I praise her for good behaviour, and only on occasion will I tell her a stern 'no'/something similar and give her a 'time out' in the hallway when she is being a complete terror. Apart from all the typical puppy problems, the one I am struggling with is her reluctance to settle down in her crate, especially now at night. 

She *hated* her crate to begin with, and started to use her head to launch herself against it to get out (along with her howling/barking/sounding like she is being tortured - which we ignored). We removed the crate in the second week of having her so she could not do any more damage to herself. We then just put her in the kitchen with the door closed, and although she hated that too, she was not using her head to try and get out. I then went to a puppy party at the local vets, and the vet there told me that I need to crate her (she looked at me like I was being a push over when I said that I had removed it), so I introduced the crate again (much to the annoyance/anger of my other half). We managed to get her settled in her crate at night within a week (my other half settles her to sleep in the evening). In the last 5 days she has managed to be clean the entire time she in there, so that is wonderful! Her nighttime routine is she goes to bed around 11.30pm, and she is let out around 5.30/6am as that is when she wakes and whimpers and normally does a poo outside as soon as she is let out.

She had been settled at night for the last couple of weeks which we were very shocked about/proud of, but all of a sudden on Friday night she began to howl/bark/sound like she is being tortured again all night long. And she has continued to do this since that night (we are on our 4th sleepless night). Nothing has changed in her routine, everything is the same as far as I can see, but she has just reverted back to hating being put in her crate/being alone. Last night was so bad with the noises, and we were overly aware that our neighbours could come round with pitchforks imminently, so we took her out the crate and I slept on the sofa with her settled on the floor in the living room. We both work long hours (my other half especially) and are really struggling with the lack of sleep round 2. I am actually more concerned about how much noise she is making and the nuisance it is causing our neighbours (we had complaints about her noise making when we first got her, but now she is growing and louder! - argh!). Her daytime crate time is still the same however, and she settles down eventually just as before. 

Other information that may be helpful to know:
I am fortunate that I work from home, so Lottie is not left by herself for long periods of time during the day. I put her in her crate which is in the kitchen twice a day, ranging from 30-60 mins each time, to get her used to being by herself. She has blankets covering 3 sides of the crate, with vet bedding and a smaller soft bed on top of that. I also put her bunny soft toy in with her. She will always whimper/bark/howl/sound like she is being tortured, but she does eventually settle down and I never get her out whilst she is making noise - I ignore the noises and put ear plugs in. Sometimes she is whimpering when I plan to get her out, so I wait for a brief moment of quiet, and go in and let her out then. I'm hoping that she will eventually accept this and learn to settle. 

Things I have tried: 
- She had puppy blanket with her from her litter to begin with, and we took that out after a week. 
- Heated soft toy.
- Putting a safe chew in there, incl. a stuffed Kong
- DAP diffuser and spray

I feel like her problem is that she is not physically in the same room as me or my partner. It's not especially her crate that she is upset with, it is more the fact she is by herself. She is not particularly clingy to us in the sense that she will play with a toy by herself/have naps in the corridor/somewhere not next to me, but if we leave the room she gets up and tries to follow (I've been closing doors behind me when I leave the room so she learns that I will actually return). 

I am worried I have screwed up the crating by letting her sleep in the living room last night, and I don't want to install a routine that will not happen long term. I know pups should eventually settle, but my neighbours are *angry* and we are struggling with the lack of sleep also. Does anyone have any tips on how I can make her more comfortable/quiet at night? Should I get rid of the crate again? Should I get a behavioural specialist?! What am I doing wrong?!

Thank you in advance for your help!

Katrina


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Welcome!  I am sorry for your tortured nights. Cockapoos are a lot like furry people so my question is what would you do if this was a human baby? Many people will tell you to stick to your guns or "Ferberize" it, others will tell you to move the crate to beside your bed but for us what worked extremely well was to pull Rufus up into our bed and let him snuggle in. He's never had an accident and we all sleep right through the night. The only other thing I can think of is for you to get another dog to keep her company.


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## Lindor (Feb 3, 2014)

If you are going to stick to using a crate, I would have it in the bedroom at night. If you don't want to use a crate (note: I never used a crate with my Maggie, she's 5 months old now) then put a nice soft doggy bed beside your bed for her to sleep in. Seems cockapoos always want to be close to their people. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

Hi and welcome! I'm so sorry you're having a hard time, you can feel so helpless and worried that you're mismanaging things and of course sleep deprivation doesn't help! But don't worry, she'll get there, it's just a case of finding what suits you all. Vets know a lot but not everything 

Poppy absolutely hated her crate from day one and would howl and get very distressed if I left the room with her in the crate, it was really awful and I tried very hard with it for weeks but eventually had to accept that crating just wasn't for her. In the end we secured our hall with a baby gate across the stairs, her open crate and some vetbed. She hardly made any fuss when I went upstairs or left the house and it was easy for me to gradually train her to be alone for when I returned to work (we got her over the summer hols when I was off). We watched her with a camera remotely and she was so much happier out of the crate. Can you puppy proof an open area and test her reaction?

Your main problem is at night though isn't it? Funnily enough Poppy would accept crating at night (in the hall) but woke early. Our hall is just at the bottom of an open staircase and our bedroom is at the top so I think she can still hear and smell us enough to be happy. Maybe you could have the crate nearer to your bedroom? And gradually move it away. Or just try the secured area idea....depending on your layout. 

Good luck, it'll all come right. Poppy is a feisty independent pup and she doesn't like containment - they're all different and it's about balancing all your needs. Crates are a fairly recent innovation and while I can absolutely see the logic and sense in the theory they're not for everyone - in my opinion as long as you can make a safe area for Lottie you're not losing out on anything by not crating her. 

You've done the right thing coming on here with your question and you'll get loads of great support and advice from people on here who are much more experienced than me  Best of luck! Keep us updated.


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

If you really want to stick with the crate, I would soften the blow by being with her - it definitely won't be a forever thing. After a few nights, you can wean her off. I know a lot of people on here have done.

Either have her crate in your bedroom and then gradually move her to the landing, hallway etc. or get yourself nice and comfy on the sofa for a few nights! 

I totally understand that it is helpful to have a crate when they are tiny so you know where they are and what they're doing - we crated Tilly for 5 months at night and she cried for varying amounts of time EVERY night - but I don't agree with your vet saying you 'need' to crate her. What you need to do is what's right for you and your puppy.

On a side note - I'm getting a bit of a complex about the number of dogs I've come across recently called Lottie...... Should I be concerned?!  

Xx


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

Sounds like a typical cockapoo they love to be near us. I never thought I would ever let a dog sleep with me but both of mine sleep on or next to our bed and they are absolutely no trouble. We all sleep soundly and we even have lie-ins at weekends!


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## ka_tri_na_ (May 29, 2014)

Gosh, thank you for all your replies - I was worried the long amount of text would put off any potential responses! 

@Farlie - My other half would *love* to both have her in the bed, and to get another dog! He is blinded with love for Lottie (and dogs in general), she does no wrong in his eyes! I am a little tougher on this (one of us has to be) and wouldn't mind having the bed for humans until she is an adult, and then I am happy to invite her in (this is what I did with my Mother's golden retriever). We would love to get another dog in time, but not just yet  

@Lindor - Yes, I feel like this might be an option. I had a crisis talk with my Mother on the phone this morning, and she suggested perhaps having her bed on the floor in the bedroom also. 

@Mazapoo - Poppy sounds similar to Lottie, it is a relief to hear of another pooch who appears to hate crates! Puppy proofing our hallway sounds like a good idea, she likes sleeping in there when she goes off for a nap anyway, so maybe she prefers to be there. I could try this with her crate in the kitchen still open, and give her a little more freedom. 

The crate worked well for containing wee/poo accidents, but now she is doing it a lot less, that's not really the problem anymore (and in truth that was the main reason we were using the crate as we were told that would help). 

@Lottierachel - I think I may start by doing this and see how she settles. If it is the crate then I may then try Marion's suggestion of having her in a safe contained area and seeing how she takes to that.

I have heard completely conflicting opinions on crating that I honestly have no idea what I am supposed to think, and the vet holding the puppy party (luckily not my actual vet) passing judgement on me wasn't helpful. I know people who have crated who have said that one day their pup just clicked and accepted it, and I know people that have said their dogs just didn't like crating full stop, and others that are fully against crating!

Lottie is a wonderful name, I've never met a bad human called Lottie so was hoping the name would transfer this good quality over to our little terror of a pup! 

@Tessybear - I don't have a problem so much with her being in the room on the floor, I was just worried that by having her with us wouldn't help her cope with being by herself in the day. 


Thank you all for your responses so far, it is less daunting/overwhelming having fellow Cockapoo owners to talk to!


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## Sandhya333 (May 18, 2014)

Hi Katrina,

And a very warm welcome to the forum. I only recently joined the forum myself - a couple of months ago with my Cockapoo, Barney - who is now 14 weeks. The folks on here are amazing with their knowledge and insight. More importantly they don't judge - which is crucial when you are floundering with a new puppy.

I've never owned a dog, or had much experience with them - so used common sense, this forum and my experience with human children to cope with Barney. He hated hated the crate at night. Howled non stop.

What I found helped was keeping to a routine every night for the first month. Fed him at a set time, took him out for his toilet, did a vigorous play time session with him (which really helped to tire him out), then dimmed the lights in the kitchen where the crate was kept, and popped him in. I sat outside the crate stroking and patting him, whilst my son sang to him. I know - a really pampered pooch. This helped him go to sleep initially, but then he woke up every two hours. I slept on the sofa next to his crate for the first month. And repeated this routine - toilet, crate, stroking, singing every time he woke up. It was tough!!!! Especially when I work long hours in a highly pressured role. Within a week, he was waking up every 3 hours, then 4 etc, and in a month he slept though the night. And I, was finally able to sleep in my bed....Hallelujah!!!!

The only reason I used the crate was to contain the pee and poop at night, and he never messed the crate. He is used to sleeping in the crate now, but I would be happy to let him just sleep in his bed downstairs, if he wanted. I don't understand the insistence on the crate, apart from containing the toileting.

Go with your gut and whatever suits your family and your puppy. They do settle. Just need to be consistent.

Good luck!!!!!!!!


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## ka_tri_na_ (May 29, 2014)

Hello @Sandhya333,

Thanks for your advise. Lottie has a routine also, and we thought we had nailed her nighttime one but for some unknown reason she has reverted back to where we started?! Did you go to Barney whilst he was howling, or did you wait until he stopped? And what do you do with Barney during the day? I just hope Lottie settles soon, both day and night.


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

My first full night's sleep was when I brought both into my bed and ditched the crate. Peace. However I stuck with the crate and the intermittent sleep until I knew they would remain dry in the bed. Though I still had a waterproof cover to put under the sheets just in case. I also always have slept with them in the same room first with crates and now their beds. But I understand the ruckus they can make. I now let them come into the bathroom whenever I take a shower because the caterwauling would stress me out. Now I shower in peace and for as long as I need while the curl up right outside the shower door. 


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

I think crates are great for the initial period if pups settle in to them. From the experience with my two, I would always have a new pup in my bedroom in the crate as neither of mine enjoyed being alone, Lola from when we brought her home and Nina after a couple of weeks of settling downstairs she became unsettled - she wanted company. Cockapoos really are companion dogs and crave closeness. Good luck!


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Also to add, I did let Lola cry initially when she was settling. As soon as Nina started crying at night I brought her upstairs to the room where Lola sleeps. She settled. I honestly don't think I could allow a pup to cry the way I did with Lola (I feel guilty still about it), I don't think there is any harm in controlling a situation by staying downstairs with an unsettled pup or bringing them upstairs. Your aim is to have settled pup and the least possible disruption to your life. 

Hopefully you get some sleep soon!!


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## Sandhya333 (May 18, 2014)

ka_tri_na_ said:


> Hello @Sandhya333,
> 
> Thanks for your advise. Lottie has a routine also, and we thought we had nailed her nighttime one but for some unknown reason she has reverted back to where we started?! Did you go to Barney whilst he was howling, or did you wait until he stopped? And what do you do with Barney during the day? I just hope Lottie settles soon, both day and night.


I went to Barney whenever he cried. Which is where the getting up every 2 hrs at night that gradually extended to 3 etc came in. But after I'd taken him out, got him water etc, I petted him for awhile then left him to it. He would bark for about half hour after then settle. 

During the day he hated his crate. I took a mix of annual leave and working from home days for about two weeks initially. Started getting him used to my not being around by spending increasing amounts of time upstairs. Then started following my usual going to work morning routine - shower, heels etc, and spend increasing amounts of time in the car. Tried various scenarios with him. Crate door closed. Crate door open, but pen closed etc. what worked for us was leaving him free in the kitchen with access to newspapers for toileting. 

Hope you get settled soon.


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## ka_tri_na_ (May 29, 2014)

@Lexi&Remmer - Yes, I think I'll hold on to the crate till I'm 99% sure she can be clean!

@RuthMill - I agree, she is very happy by herself when people are around, the last thing I want is for her to be unsettled. I think I will go back a few steps with a little less tough love, I must remember that she is still a baby!

@Sandhya333 - Thanks for answering my questions. We decided last night to be near her in her crate and although she grumbled for a bit, she settled and we all got to sleep. So we will continue working on this and gradually get further away from her. 

I'll start to increase her time alone in the day from what I was already doing, pretending to get ready etc. I have been apprehensive to let her have her own space for longer periods of time just because I have been watching her pretty much constantly, but I think I just need to trust that in a puppy safe area she cannot do a lot of damage (mainly to herself!).


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

When I am at home mine have to be near me. They follow me everywhere and Dexter likes to sit on my bathmat while I have a shower. I never shut them away from me. When I have to go out they just accept it and go to sleep till I return. I give them the whole run of my house and they have never been destructive. I think if they are alone during the day it's nice to have them with you at night.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

tessybear said:


> When I am at home mine have to be near me. They follow me everywhere and Dexter likes to sit on my bathmat while I have a shower. I never shut them away from me. When I have to go out they just accept it and go to sleep till I return. I give them the whole run of my house and they have never been destructive. I think if they are alone during the day it's nice to have them with you at night.


This sounds like our house!


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## Hollysefton (Sep 28, 2013)

Hahaha Murphy also likes to sit on my bath mat while I shower!! Bloody cockerpoo's, they have us wrapped around their little paws! With the crate issues, I had Murphy in his crate net to my bed for a maybe 2 weeks, if he cried initially I would tap the crate and tell him to go to sleep. If he persisted with crying I ignored him. He hardly ever cried tho as he must have sensed that we where next to him and he could hear Phil snoring! We then moved the crate to the door, then into the landing and gradually moved it downstairs. I sectioned the crate into a sleep area and toilet area. Try all sorts and see what suits you. There are many different ways to suit different ppl/pups so don't worry! X


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