# New puppy in our bed



## Aly (Mar 27, 2015)

I picked up Lucy, 8 weeks old, yesterday. I have never owned a dog before.
At night time I put her in a crate next to the bed. She became stressed straight away and started whining. I was talking to her and stroking her in the cage but she just started howling and scratching at the cage. She was really upset and urinated and defecaeted on her bed.
She was totally stressed out so I let her sleep in bed with us and she was happy.
Other dog owners we have spoken to today have said we should never give in and let her in the bed, but she was really distressed and had been with her mum only a few hours before.
Today she is sticking to us like glue and if my husband leaves the room she sits by the door whining even though I'm in the room.
We have tried her in the crate again whilst we are in the room with her but again she howls, scratches and urinated again.
What I am really asking is am I going to create lots of problems by letting her sleep with us for a few nights until she is more used to being apart from her mum and siblings?


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## Lindor (Feb 3, 2014)

I'm one of those who don't believe that you must crate a dog at night. Maggie has happily slept in her cushy bed next to ours from day one. Others on the forum have taken their pups up on their own bed at night and still others have crate trained. All have turned out to be well behaved, happy dogs. There is no right or wrong way. Do what feels right to you and little Lucy. Not all dogs will take to a crate. If you are happy with Lucy on the bed with you, then let her sleep there.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

It will be harder to get her out of your bed in a few nights then it would be to listen to her howl now. Many of us sleep with ours poo's, many of us don't. I think you need to decide what you want for the long term and put her there. You can ease the transition by sleeping near her to keep her company. A good compromise might be her in crate but right beside your bed.


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## Aly (Mar 27, 2015)

Thanks for the replies.
She wouldn't settle in the crate even when she was right beside us.
I'm just going to take her to bed as she was distraught in the crate, despite wetting on my floor about 10 times today she never wet the bed.
I will give her a few nights in the bed until she settles more and then try her in a basket on the floor.


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## whatsuppup (Mar 9, 2015)

Hi Aly, Congrats on your new puppy! Can't wait to see pics! 

We have had a puppy for exactly one week now. First time we tried to put him in a crate he cried right away and wouldnt stop so I took him and his little bed out for a while (I have a funny story to post later). We waited until he was asleep in his bed and put him back in his crate, asleep. Crate was upstairs so I could hear him cry. When he did I took him outside but then he didnt want to go back in his crate. Sooo I figured he missed his mom and siblings and let him play with us on our bed and curl up with us til he fell asleep. And then I would move him to his crate. I did that for 2 or 3 nights before reading that was a huge mistake and that we should not give in to his cries or play with him in the middle of the night. The first night I stuck to a routine of putting him in his crate for bed, taking him out for washroom breaks and putting him right back in, was hard. He cried a lot. One of my kids claimed they didnt get any sleep all night! The second night was better, though he would cry the whole time my husband was up getting ready for work (5am). And the past 2 nights have been awesome! No crying... a little whimpering on occasion, and he stays quiet and sleeps while my husband is up getting ready for work. Every time I put him in the covered crate at night I tell him "bedtime". When he was crying during the process of adjusting to the crate at night, I would tell him "quiet". He has since learned "quiet" and quiets down when needed, at night.

We don't wamt him crated at night once he is house trained and big enough not to injure himself jumping off of our bed. Just using a small 24" crate for now for house training purposes, as well as getting him used to a crate. We may get a bigger one when he is older, but not 100% sure as yet. Depends on if we feel he will need/benefit from one if we are out of the house for longer than he is used to.

As for your pup peeing in her crate.. how much room does she have? I would say she doesnt need more than 24" length. If she has more then try to block it off. Also make sure she uses the washroom before bed. We also try to restrict naps from about 7pm (sometimes 8pm) onward, as it helps our pup get so tired he goes to sleep right away in his crate.

Best of luck with whichever route you decide to take. ☺


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## sugerlump (Oct 6, 2012)

ALY.we have this wonderful pup called Ginger.we never put her in a crate because i don't believe in them.(but that is only me )other on here love them .i guess it is up to you.but any way ginger has been sleeping wit me and the wife all most from when she was about 9 months old, She is very good and loving puppy and i wouldn't have it any other way .i only have one complaint and that is when she hogs all the covers ..good luck with your new love she will soon have you in her heart .and there is nothing you can do about it .poos are made for love


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## Sassy (Mar 20, 2015)

We had this with our kids too! My husband never allowed them to sleep in our bed, so having a puppy there would never happen. Here's a few ideas:

No water or naps after 7:00. Get lots and lots of exercise during the day. If necessary, cut the length of nap time during the day. Take her/him outside just before he/she goes to sleep. (Hopefully that's in the crate!) Cover the crate, so there's a sense of quiet.

I like the idea of reducing the area of the crate. Dogs instinctively don't want to spoil their den.


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## Barney15 (Feb 12, 2015)

I can imagine how awful it must be listening to your little pup howling and don't blame you for taking her into your bed  It's a tough time for them in the first few days. I'll be faced with the same dilemma in a couple of weeks - we set up the crate today - right next to the bed too - my daughter has a small hot water bottle with a fluffy puppy cover on it - I'll try putting that in the crate at night - something warm to snuggle up to may help but I am expecting lots of howling aswell ?....good luck and just do what feels right for you (and Lucy) x


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## Datun Walnut (Oct 15, 2013)

I can see both sides here. Poppy just didn't take to the crate - we were lucky in that we can isolate the hall with a baby gate and we could leave her to sort herself out in safety. 
Our last dog got into the habit of coming up to bed in early mornings and became a bit of a pest frequently pushing us out of our bed. Beleive me, it was much harder stopping the bed business than it would have been to never allow it in the first place. We had to go through the whining and scratching (and guilt) to get back to a decent night's sleep.


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## bearthecockapoo (Mar 17, 2015)

Bear cried in his crate the first three nights when we got him. The breeder told us to ignore his cries unless he had an accident, otherwise he would learn that crying gets him what he wants. After the third night he had no issues with the crate and would happily settle down. Now he goes in it to hang out even when he's not sleeping. Yes, it was unpleasant for those three nights, but worth it as now he likes his crate and we know that he will not have accidents in there and he will not get into any trouble while we sleep or are out of the house. 

We also cover his crate with a blanket, so it is dark and "den-like". We put in a clothing item that smelled like us for the first few nights so he felt like he was near us. I have heard of people wrapping a clock and putting it in so it sounds like a mother's heartbeat, although I don't have any personal experience with this.

To help with the accidents, we got a crate with a divider and adjusted it so there was just enough room that he could turn around, but not enough room that he could do his business in one corner and sleep in the other. He didn't want to pee in his sleeping area, so he didn't have any accidents. We also took him out right before bed.


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## Aly (Mar 27, 2015)

My Lucy obviously hasn't read the books saying she shouldn't use her sleeping area as a toilet as she has urinated on my bed!
I am going to have to try her in the crate again. The problem is she gets so upset she urinates and defecaets and then has to be taken out for a bath.
They must make them so cute so we totally love them and will do anything for them.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

The crate should mean all things yummy and good so feed her meals in the crate, put toys in the crate and give her a kong in the crate to settle down with. Don't shut the door until she is comfortable in the crate and settles happily. 

When she will settle happily in it during the day she is ready to try at night but with the crate next to your bed or you sleeping on the sofa next to her so she can have your reassurance.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Aly said:


> My Lucy obviously hasn't read the books saying she shouldn't use her sleeping area as a toilet as she has urinated on my bed!
> I am going to have to try her in the crate again. The problem is she gets so upset she urinates and defecaets and then has to be taken out for a bath.
> They must make them so cute so we totally love them and will do anything for them.


Your bed is a pretty big area ... could she actually get off your bed independently? 
Puppies cannot hold on to their wee for a long time - when the need arises they will quickly go to a spot and do what they need to do. If she could not get off the bed - then bingo - it happened. 
Before you put her in her crate you must make sure that she has emptied - it is a really good idea to get into the (slightly weird) habit of keeping a poop and wee log. Do you feed her at set times? this really helps establish a pattern. When you have kept the log for a few days you should see that there really is a pattern and this will help. If you take Lucy out for a wee - stay out until she has had a wee. I used to walk slowly around and around a small section of our garden - sometimes for 20 odd minutes. If I stood still then the pup would sit down, so you have to keep moving, eventually they forget to be excited about all the new garden smells, snails, leaves etc and go pee. Praise and treat immediately. If you expect a poop - keep walking until that happens too. Add a target word 'be quick' works for my dogs and eventually the length of time you spend in the garden waiting gets less.
Only try the crate thing when she has weeed and pooped - that way you have more chance of her not soiling it, even if she does get a little upset.
Lucy will get it eventually - just keep loving her


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## Aly (Mar 27, 2015)

The bed is too high for her to get down from and she did do a whimper before her wee. She is doing really well with her toilet training.
I am going to have to keep her off the bed though because even though it wasn't her fault I can't afford to buy a new duvet. I want to keep all my money to buy Lucy toys and a deluxe dog bed.


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## bearthecockapoo (Mar 17, 2015)

We also found putting treats in the crate and feeding in the crate worked to get him accustomed to it. We would leave the door open and I would put in treats when he wasn't looking, so whenever he passed the crate he would want to go in and find the treats.


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## sugerlump (Oct 6, 2012)

how often do you leave her out to pee..that could be your problem. a puppy that age has to go often, and if you don't let her out she will go where ever she is ok ..


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## Aly (Mar 27, 2015)

sugerlump said:


> how often do you leave her out to pee..that could be your problem. a puppy that age has to go often, and if you don't let her out she will go where ever she is ok ..


We are taking her out every 30mins to an hour. She will pee within 5 minutes of coming back in. 
She was meant to be sleeping on the floor tonight but she's now back on the bed because I felt sorry for her.


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## sugerlump (Oct 6, 2012)

well you really have to get the peeing under control.,but as far as the bed is concerned you know how i feel..but every one here don't agree with me .but me and my wife love to have ginger with us,,all the time ,we just love her so much ok.but you have to get her house broke really.when she pees out side give her a very small treet see if that helps ,,good luck


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi Aly, congratulations on your new puppy! It sounds like she's off to a flying start with training you!! 
If you are happy with her sleeping on your bed now and that it will stay that way forever then there is no problem. However if you want her to sleep on the floor/ in the kitchen/ in a crate then that's what you have to do immediately. With every passing night she will be getting used to snuggling up with you and it will be getting much more difficult to get her to accept anything else. Letting her sleep with you for a few nights/ weeks will not teach her to sleep happily alone on the floor, she will not suddenly realise she is a big girl and sleep on her own. So it's really up to you to decide where you want her to sleep and not give in. If you're happy with her staying on your bed then all is well, if not the sooner you bite the bullet the better.


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

I couldn't bear to hear my puppies cry at night, it was torture. I let both mine sleep with us from day 1 and they have grown into very relaxed confident dogs. I let them choose where they want to sleep at night now, Bonnie sleeps on the end of our bed on a little blanket and Dexter prefers to sleep outside our door or halfway up the stairs (probably away from my husbands snoring). They never wake us up or disturb us in the mornings, they just wake up when we do. 

The answer is to do what suits you and you family, and never mind what others think!


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Having had a puppy in our bed, that grew into such a lovely, confident, loving dog, who took herself off our bed as she got older, I can tell you this. You will NEVER, EVER regret your decision. Don't listen to those who tell you 'you are making a rod for your own back' it's rubbish. Like Sugarlump, I have never used a crate, my two are with me wherever I am in the house...except the treatment room. It's the only place they aren't allowed.....to keep them out I just shut the door. Who needs a crate!


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## sugerlump (Oct 6, 2012)

yaaa i like the way she thinks..but you really have to get her house broken ok. you are going to have to take her out and stay out till she pees out side and then a very small treat, once you get her to doing her pee and poo out side then you can decide if you want her to sleep with you or not .we just love her in bed with us .the only place she is not welcome is my wood shop.and she will not go in there.ok. but work on getting her house broken ok good luck


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## Aly (Mar 27, 2015)

I think I will just let her stay on the bed with us. As she gets bigger and we keep on disturbing her she might just decide she would rather be in her own luxury bed (if I could fit in it i would).
I'm going back into work on Thursday for the first time since we got Lucy, I hope she's OK as my husband says she lies by the door whining when I leave the room. I'm tempted to get my husband to bring her to work so I can see her on my lunch break!


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## sugerlump (Oct 6, 2012)

yes i know just how that is .ginger does the same thong when my wife goes out.and when we both go out wow,,she cry's and yodels and it does sound just like some one is beating her ,we give her a kong with peanut butter stuffed in it .or i get big soup bones at the food store and that keeps her occupied till we get back.poo's really hate to see the one they love leave .and some times it can be heartbreaking.


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## Aly (Mar 27, 2015)

Just an update on the gorgeous Lucy.
We went to our caravan on Sunday that has narrow twin beds and Lucy slept quite happily in her basket on the floor between the beds. No crying or whimpering!
Last night on our first night back at home she again slept all night next to our bed in her basket. I think she must have realised she was much more comfortable and didn't get disturbed as much in her own basket.
So we now have 2 well rested adults and a happy well rested puppy


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## Lindor (Feb 3, 2014)

Aly said:


> Just an update on the gorgeous Lucy.
> We went to our caravan on Sunday that has narrow twin beds and Lucy slept quite happily in her basket on the floor between the beds. No crying or whimpering!
> Last night on our first night back at home she again slept all night next to our bed in her basket. I think she must have realised she was much more comfortable and didn't get disturbed as much in her own basket.
> So we now have 2 well rested adults and a happy well rested puppy


Good girl Lucy.


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## Jacksons Mom (Jul 29, 2010)

Lola was awful in the crate. She's been in our bed since day one lol. She slept through the night, no bother. So we didn't see a need. But even during the day, she's had free roam of the back room (all tile) since she was probably 4 1/2 months old. She would poop and/or pee in her crate and it was annoying coming home to a dog needing bathed. She's easier just being left out at this point. We tried lol.


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## Barney15 (Feb 12, 2015)

We now have our puppy Barney - he's been here 2 weeks now. I had posted a reply to your message saying I'd be faced with the same dilemma as you with puppy perhaps howling in his crate - i started off by introducing the crate (right next to my bed) with plenty of rewards as soon as he went in there and continued this, popped my head in there with him and played with his toys so from the onset it was a happy experience. His first night home (very tired anyway) he happily snuggled down (no hot water bottle) with his comfy blankets and a teddy (also scent blanket from littermates) and he was fine. I left the door open until he was fast asleep then very gently closed it. He loves the crate and sleeps there peacefully at night - he's also allowed on the sofa to snuggle with our cat during the day (who he's become best friends with) and we all have a cuddle with him on our beds too so he has a real nice balance and this seems to work very well for him x


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## Aly (Mar 27, 2015)

Barney15 said:


> We now have our puppy Barney - he's been here 2 weeks now. I had posted a reply to your message saying I'd be faced with the same dilemma as you with puppy perhaps howling in his crate - i started off by introducing the crate (right next to my bed) with plenty of rewards as soon as he went in there and continued this, popped my head in there with him and played with his toys so from the onset it was a happy experience. His first night home (very tired anyway) he happily snuggled down (no hot water bottle) with his comfy blankets and a teddy (also scent blanket from littermates) and he was fine. I left the door open until he was fast asleep then very gently closed it. He loves the crate and sleeps there peacefully at night - he's also allowed on the sofa to snuggle with our cat during the day (who he's become best friends with) and we all have a cuddle with him on our beds too so he has a real nice balance and this seems to work very well for him x


Barney sounds lovely. Can I drop Lucy off at your house for a few weeks for you to train her for me 
My cat will only come home when we've all gone to bed or when she's really hungry.
I read books/ articles and followed all the advice on crate training and introducing the cat but little Lucy has me well trained to do whatever she wants.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Love these stories. Each poo is such a character, each perfect in its own way.


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