# Really need some friendly advice!!



## Emmamay03 (Dec 20, 2015)

Hi

Haven't been on this site for a while but remembered how lovely everyone was when I first brought Barley home.

We got Barley back in December and for the first month or 2 it was lovely. He's still lovely to me now but he is so hyper all the time. My husband who is at home with him during the day cannot handle him any longer and refuses to do anything with him other than let him out for the toilet.

We are currently back in my husbands home in Thailand and left Barley with a friend who called me after 5 days to say she couldn't handle him anymore. He is now with my parents until we arrive home on Sunday and my dad (who loves him) has just called to say he is such hard work and never just relaxes.

We have a 2 year old and Barley jumps up and knocks him flying. No matter how many ways we have tried to train Barley he just seems to have too much energy for us all.

He's torn apart the carpet in 3 different places and he does this when we are with him. He will wander off into the kitchen when we are all in the living room with him and start to scratch up the rug.

Everyone has now told me that it's time we find him a new home and I'm so torn because I love him but I also am dreading going back home because I know there will be arguments in my household over the dog. 
I can't commit to walking him more, I feel like 2 walks for 45 mins a day should be enough as he is still only 6 months but for Barley it's not enough.

My family won't visit our home anymore because he jumps all over them and I crate him but he just barks constantly and they end up leaving.

I feel like im making him sound like an awful dog when really he isn't because every evening he will come and relax and lay down with me on the sofa but for the other 12 hours a day he is awake and it's my husband at home with him he is just a nightmare.

It's really tearing up our relationship and my husband moved from Thailand to England to be with his family and he's left at home all day taking care of a 2 year old and a crazy dog and working in the evenings.

I have arranged to meet with a dog trainer that's also a friend of mine next week but she told me the best thing would be to find Barley a new home because it's not fair for him to have so much energy and be closed in. She agreed to help me find someone to take him but I just feel like I shouldnt give up. Our house is quite small and we really need to move but renting in England with a dog is almost impossible. Our landlords now are great and happy for us to have him but everytime we talk about moving I think we can't because we would have to give up Barley.

Ahhhhh I'm so torn. 

Any friendly advice is welcome xx

Might help to know Barley is actually an F1b and mostly working cocker spaniel, hence the crazy hyperness.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

A six month old pup will need a fair bit of input so a whole routine with feeding, walking, playing and training as well as learning to settle down but if your husband is the one at home and does not want to interact it does sound like rehoming might be the best option and if your trainer friend knows the situation better and feels the same it is at least a good way to find him a new home.

If all of the family can commit to training and working with him he can learn and become the dog you want but everyone needs to be commited to be able to do this.


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## Emmamay03 (Dec 20, 2015)

I'm not the type to just give up and I didnt bring Barley into our family to decide he is too much hard work and let him go. 
Unfortunately though it isn't me that is home with him for most of the day. I leave for work at half 8 and am home at 4. That's a good part of the day that he is at home with my husband.
I think it's more that he is trying to deal with an excited puppy and a 2 year old and he finds it abit much so he focuses less on Barley.

Maybe it's just something I need to talk with him about more.

He does have routine. It's the same for him every day, it's just I think he needs more exercising and stimulating. I honestly did not realise that cockerpoos where this much on the go so I feel responsible even more so for him because I should of researched better!!

I have read that maybe getting him more toys might occupy him more. Maybe I will try that too before making final decisions.


Thanks for the reply


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

What is his routine? Do you use things like kongs, what training have you done, does he have play and training sessions during the day and rest periods when you want him to settle?


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

What about trying a dog walker to come in the middle of the day and take Barley out for a couple of hours. A good walk, a run around with some doggy friends that would also teach him some manners as well as tire him out. He really just sounds like an energetic pup that needs more stimulation and exercise to level him out.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

I think a dog walker sounds like an excellent idea.
I also have to say that a lot of six month old puppies are full on - they are hitting the 'teenage' stage. Our morning walks are plagued by hyper 8 month old JRT and a 7 month old flat coat retriever who both desert their respective owners, hare down the beach at speed to join my three and then refuse to recall.... 
Cockapoos are active, intelligent fun loving dogs - but they are dogs


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Other things that might help are some brain challenges - try some clicker training for tricks... look on You tube for inspiration. Dot is more tired after training than she is after exercise!
Also a nice raw rib or marrow bone out on the lawn - good chewing exercise!


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

What about Day care for him, or agility classes? What do you feed him? Could the food you give contain too many additives making him hyper?


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## TanzyRose (Dec 26, 2015)

Definitely training classes! We took our 8 month old puppy to 4 classes, 1 a week for a month, and it made a huge difference. Suddenly she listens  Good luck! She has also calmed down a lot since she was 6 months.

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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

On radio yesterday I heard of a business uniting dogs who love to run with joggers. Maybe you could find something like that?

In these situations I am inclined to weigh the wins and losses. If you rehome Barley your son wins his dad's undivided attention and his safety and peace of mind.
Your husband wins much more time to bond with and care for his son.
Barley wins a new owner who will be well aware of his "no off switch" personality and be able to give him the four hours of full on exercise and work they need (I know because I have one too)
The new owner wins what will be a fabulous athletic and devoted exercise partner.
You will win with a calm and happy household and your guilt will be assuaged knowing you did the right thing and you can get an easier dog when your youngest child is seven and can help train, exercise and love what will be a wanted family pet.

No question, I'd rehome him if I were you. Good luck no matter what decision you make.


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## suem56 (Nov 23, 2015)

Yikes. Speaking as a total novice, I'd agree with Cat 53 ie. have you tried daycare ? I find a couple of hours with other pups at our local daycare place wears mine out far more that a long walk. Also I've read quite a few things recently (while researching diet) that certain food brands can make some dogs hyper and a change can work wonders. Also sites like 'Borrowmydoggie.com' can work well at finding local dog lovers who will walk him for you. It does sound like you have an exceptionally and unusually energetic one that maybe isn't suited to your household. Good luck!


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## Emmamay03 (Dec 20, 2015)

Thank you all so much for your lovely responses =)

We have just arrived home today and maybe it's because Barley knows that he might be finding a new home but he's very relaxed.

I am meeting up with my friend tomorrow to discuss what's the best option for him and if she thinks he just needs some training then we will definitely give that a go before we decide on anything else.

Like I said, he has just turned 6 months so I know he is still a very playful puppy and we can work with that but not the constant jumping up and. Is this quite a common cockapoo trait, as my mums friend has a cockapoo who is 2 and he is wild. Barley jumps so high now he is jumping well up to my chin and I'm 5ft 4. 

I definitely think being mixed with more dogs will be better for him too so if we do the training hopefully that will have a good impact.


I will keep you updated as to how it goes tomorrow


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## Emmamay03 (Dec 20, 2015)

Oh and maybe somebody could advise on the food?

We currently feed him wainwrights but welcome any new suggestions??


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## Michele (Nov 12, 2015)

Have you tried teaching "down"? Mine haven't perfected it, but we reward for down and for "dance" or "feet up"--so they have come to learn when we want four on the floor and when we want leaping, dance moves...for you, I'd reward more often for down but contrast it with the other command. He's still so young; I would stick with training for Barley--poos can be a bit squirrelly, but they're quick learners... Is there any way to increase the bond between your OH and Barley? Having his "buy in" would really help.


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

My two at that age spent the day at daycare and then another hour or two at the dog park but that's because they were good about napping at daycare. Truthfully my two were so much more energy than I expected and then they turned 2 and it was like a switch turned off. Now they are pretty calm with bits of crazy. 

Oh and having each other meant they could wear each other out. So another puppy about the same age will get him tired pretty easily. 


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

I am a very firm believer in positive behaviour management and training - but jumping up was the one thing that I used a negative strategy for, after exhasuting all the positive ones!

I bought a can on pet corrector spray, that gives off a short sharp hiss of air and sprayed it at the exact time my cockapoo jumped up (you spray to the side of them, not at them!) and within a week the jumping up stopped..... except when my mum comes round, she's a complete soft touch!

Good luck in your decision making x


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## barkley (May 4, 2016)

It could be a question of age, too. If you can't afford to wait it out, maybe rehome him to a friend or family member with more space so you can still visit regularly? I wish you the best of luck with this, this sounds so hard.


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## Emmamay03 (Dec 20, 2015)

Thanks everyone!!!

Just wanted to give you an update on Barley.

I went to see the lady I knew that was a dog trainer and she basically pushed me into letting him go so for that reason alone..I didn't! He is still here with us and he will be staying here with us. 

I felt like she was more interested in taking him from me to train him and earn some money from selling him on.

We have taught him to sit..Finally! He is also learning that as soon as he jumps up we shout DOWN and he does, although he will still jump maybe once or twice but it is soooo much better. 

I have just been to Spain for 4 nights and my husband was here with him and I did not hear any moaning, not even once! He said he likes him better now and finds him easier so it seems as if he is alot more willing, which if I am honest was probably my biggest obstacle.

We start training classes with him on Friday so I hope by the time he reaches a year old he would of settled abit more.

I know he is a puppy and we totally expected him to be hyper but I think he took us all by suprise. 

We have just found out we are expecting our 2nd in December so the plan is to have a nice chilled dog by then..With obviously the odd moments of madness.

Thank you all!! X


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## Emmamay03 (Dec 20, 2015)

Okay so another update on Barley and I am sure there are some people who will not agree with this but tonight Barley went to his new home. Well we agreed on his new home.

It is not a decision we have taken lightly it is a combination of doing what is right for him and for us. I came home frm work last night and he jumped up and pulled on my top ripping my shirt and knocked my over onto the stairs. 
He needs more stimulation than he is getting and we need a safe environment for our children. Today my son sat on the floor and Barley went straight up to him and bit him on the ear. I know he is playing and doesn't mean to hurt but it's just alot to deal with when it's a constant battle.

Anyway he will be off to his new home in the morning and the one good thing is that it is right next door! Our lovely neighbour who has experience with springers and cockers had said he would take him and we can still see him anytime we want and I will still be taking him on his morning walk =)

Barley loves him and has done since we brought him home at 8 weeks. Whenever he heard the car pull up he ran out to meet him and they spend an hour or sometimes 2 playing.

I love Barley and that will not change but I am so happy that he is going to a loving home and that we can still see him all the time!

Thanks for all of your advice


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

Just to add, in case other people read this later after searching for a similar problem etc..

As mentioned, a dog walker or day care can definitely help - we wouldn't be able to give Gandhi the exercise he needs without it and we can tell by the way he greets the walker that he loves them, so it's great all round, but... particularly with puppies something to bear in mind is that it's not always true that the hyperactivity is a result of too little stimulation - sometimes it can be too much. It's about finding the right type and balance. 

One thing we noticed with Gandhi is that when no one was around he would rest, but if there were people in the same room he would want to be doing something. If someone works at home and there is a young child there too that might actually make it harder for the dog to settle down and rest as there is always something going on. This can cause the behaviour to worsen if they are overtired. One way of dealing with this could be to have areas of the house that the dog doesn't go (e.g. the home office), and this could encourage rest. 

It's also, as mentioned on the previous page, a case of the different types of activity. Going for a walk is physical activity, but depending on the type of walk can have different effects. e.g. an off lead walk in fields or woods with interesting things to sniff as well as the exercise, in a relaxing environment, means the dog can come home tired and happy. but sometimes if it's a lead walk down a busy street the dog can be more hyper and not quite as satisfied when it gets home. Particularly when young, but when they are older too, a cockapoo will be keen to learn and exercise its brain with short fun training games. A few mins of quality time every couple of hours is fine. The younger they are the more they do everything in little bits, whereas when they are older they can be happy with a good walk and then to settle at home. There is also the stuffed kong/bullhorn/antler for quiet time with something to do. 

I think it's the time to train/swap toys/manage the day's activities (including rest) that are the things that people feel are time consuming, as opposed to just the walking. With an older dog they may be happy with their walks and to just be left and potter about during the day, but a young one is like a little person that needs supervision and guidance during the day.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Well done EmmaMay03 it takes a brave person to admit it is not working and it sounds like this is an excellent solution all round for everyone


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