# Just found out my parents are bopping Daisy on the nose as punishment



## SPCnut (Apr 25, 2012)

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just found out from my girls that my parents have been bopping Daisy on the nose as a form of discipline when she nips. We DO NOT do that in our house -- we put her in the bathroom for 1-2 minutes if it gets that out of hand. Basically remove her from the situation. 

My problem is that my parents live next door. They are a great resource to us helping with the girls and Daisy whenever needed. I am not sure how to bring this up with them as I know my dad would take it great, but my mom would give me the cold shoulder and cause a huge fight over this 

I am so sad to know this has been going on with Daisy...


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

I am sure they are not hurting her...but this is not a modern kind of disciplin....I would just suggest to them that you would like to keep her punishments consistent, and time outs have been working for you, at your house. and tell them you would like them to please do the same.


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

I feel for you, I had a battle similar to this when Weller was a puppy but over toilet training. I caught my Dad, going to grab the pup to rub his nose in a wee he had just done! I was not happy! I told him that's not what I do and we had a bit of a disagreement but told him he was my dog not his and if I do things wrong it's down to me, it's funny because they wouldn't tell me how to discipline the children but feel fine to butt in with the dog. Anyway he accepted this explanation........however he again forgot one day I left them doggy sitting, came back and Dad had cut Weller's fringe, it seems silly but I was horrified and really annoyed. 
I am sorry I have no real advice to deal with parents but wanted to say I have been there too!


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## Janev1000 (Oct 4, 2011)

I have had my father-in-law cut my son's fringe and over his ears too and it's not silly - it's really annoying! - As he's my father-in-law it felt ok to tell him off! x


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## mandym (Jun 5, 2011)

I can understand how youre feeling although its probably not hard,i wouldnt be happy either but years ago this method as used and your parents probably think it still is.how about telling a little white lie and saying that after talking to a trainer she has told you to use the same method of training/discipline at all times because if you dont pup will get mixed signals,then tell her them your training plan and what to do if she plays up making it clear that they mustnt use any other form of disipline.if you make it sound like youre just running through a training programme with them it wont be so bad xxx


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## designsbyisis (Dec 27, 2011)

I agree with Mandy. Or maybe say you've been worried about the nipping & advice on here was to try time out and ask if they'd help you give it a go. It's hard to get everyone singing from same sheet and harder if you rely on people to help. Hopefully the biting will lessen with time & you can concentrate on enjoying good times !


Sent from my iPhone 
Lisa - mum of 3 boys, Dexter Cockapoo & 4 hens !


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## DONNA (Jan 7, 2011)

Yes i agree with others you could say your having a problem with her nipping at the moment and ask if shes doing it when in their company,then explain what your trainer has told you to do in those situations.
Tapping on the nose dos'nt work and is an old fashioned way of doing things (my dad still thinks its ok also)

By giving them the information hopefully they may change their ways??


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Another 'my trainer told me' is to say these days they have worked out that even a little bop can make a puppy fear your hands (true) which then makes lots of other things difficult in the future, grooming, cleaning ears etc. If you don't have a trainer then just that 'all the book advice these days...' maybe actually show them a book where it says never use these methods. The being consistent is a good one as well though.


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## lilaclynda (Jul 24, 2010)

hi 
ahh bless you ,i agree with DB1 ,just really make it clear that you need consistancy in the training and putting in another room for time out is the way you are doing it and its working well ,so please could they do that .

all the best ,it wont last long lynda


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## MillieDog (Jun 1, 2011)

I remember Mick saying something once that you shouldn't bob the nose because it interferes with their scent mechanism which is very sensitive. They might understand that thought process too.


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## janee (Mar 25, 2012)

Explain that you have read an article that says hitting a puppy on the nose actually makes them fear the hand that comes towards them and is likely to increase the amount of nipping and make it worse as they are going to get in first and bite the hand that comes towards them and that they are better off turning away from the puppy and ending the game. Most things are games to a puppy even if we don't see them as that.


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## SPCnut (Apr 25, 2012)

Thank you all so much for the sound advice. I will definitely have to talk to them about this. The idea of the bopping on the nose can effect the senses and/or fear the hand makes me so sad  I will have to put an end to this most definitely.

You guys are the best! Thanks for all the help!!


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

Really difficult one they are doing things the way we used to question is has it really caused you a problem? It can be very tricky to tell someone who is doing you a favour that they are not doing it the way you would wish. By all means try and explain how you want to do things and hopefully that will work but if you rely on them for doggy daycare you may have to accept their methods or pay some stranger to sit your dog. I am sure they do not intend to be cruel.


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## Sam1 (Mar 6, 2012)

Yes you could try all of that, you run the risk they still think their "secret" method is best and might even think it's working! So might do it harder next time. You are admitting to having a problem with her so they will see it as the green flag! Personally I'd just come out with the truth, the children said this is what you were doing can you please not!...and here's the reasons why....scent damage, increased biting due to scared of hands, Inc children's!, fear of people, fear turning into snappy, snappy turning into biting....be honest with them from the start...otherwise this could be an up hill struggle. They aren't doing you a favour in what they are doing. We should be able to say anything to our parents...your mum will get over it! Good luck!


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## kevinabear (Jun 15, 2012)

I agree with the others! Just a little white lie to bring the subject up tactfully, you don't want a fall out but neither do you want your poochie-pal upset - good luck!


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

Guess it depends how you define 'bopping(!)' A light tap infequently is not worth getting stressed about. If they are whacking her on the nose every five minutes that may be a different problem. Does you dog exhibit signs of distress where her face is concerned does she cower away from you or snap at you. If you did not notice any problem until your son mentioned it then maybe it is not a problem and a gentle suggestion that you would prefer them not to do this will be all it takes without getting over dramatic about it!


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## Sam1 (Mar 6, 2012)

So, how did the chat go? All calm I hope! It's not easy for you so hope it went well. 

Sam x


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## SPCnut (Apr 25, 2012)

Well...a situtaion presented itself beautifully yesterday! We were all sitting around in my parent's family room when Daisy was nipping at my dad as he was sitting on the floor. He went ahead and bopped her on the nose -- and it was just a VERY light little tap so I was happy to see that -- and I had asked him politely to not hit her on the nose anymore. Since there were several of us in the room, I just went over, picked up Daisy and took her outside to remove her from the situation. I didn't have a chance to go further into detail with him, but I was happy to let him know that I saw what he did and did not approve. Will the issue be corrected? Maybe not! But like I said I am happy to know she is not being hit hard and I am not seeing any distress from her at all. Yesterday I was just rubbing her little snout (I just love her chubby cheeks!) and she did not show signs of problems with it at all. She is becoming such a loving little puppy


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## Sam1 (Mar 6, 2012)

Oh that's great! I'm so pleased you were able to say something! Well done! I've been wondering how you've got on with it. I'm sure it will stop now you've mentioned it! She sounds lovely x


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

SPCnut said:


> Well...a situtaion presented itself beautifully yesterday! We were all sitting around in my parent's family room when Daisy was nipping at my dad as he was sitting on the floor. He went ahead and bopped her on the nose -- and it was just a VERY light little tap so I was happy to see that -- and I had asked him politely to not hit her on the nose anymore. Since there were several of us in the room, I just went over, picked up Daisy and took her outside to remove her from the situation. I didn't have a chance to go further into detail with him, but I was happy to let him know that I saw what he did and did not approve. Will the issue be corrected? Maybe not! But like I said I am happy to know she is not being hit hard and I am not seeing any distress from her at all. Yesterday I was just rubbing her little snout (I just love her chubby cheeks!) and she did not show signs of problems with it at all. She is becoming such a loving little puppy


They obviously were not doing any harm just what they thought was the way to correct unwanted behaviour. I admit Hattie has had the odd 'bop!' when she has just pressed the boundaries it has not turned her into a snarling monster or a cowering wreck. It is east to get hung up on the 'right' or 'wrong' way as long as it is preportional and not excessive I would not make it an issue it is not worth falling out over!


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