# Separation Anxiety



## HannahHarding87 (12 mo ago)

Hi All,

We have a now 13 week old Cockapoo and we are finding leaving the room pretty unbearable!

Please can you shine some light on how we can train him to stop barking when we do normal day to day things, like have a shower!!

We have plenty of toys for him, including a snuffle mat with treats, a kong, etc.

Our method so far has been wait until he has had ample interaction, then tell give him something he really likes, calmly leave the room and wait. He barks like there is no tomorrow and even howls a little.
We wait until he has quietened down then we walk back in with no eye contact, and just make him know we are back.
He then goes back to his "favourite" Toy and its like nothing ever happened.

We are going to need to sort this out now before he gets out of hand but how long do we let him bark before its unacceptable and will cause more distress?

Thank you
Hannah


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

OK - back track and change your method, at the moment your pup is learning that you leaving him is really upsetting and you are waiting for the upset to subside. A much better method is to teach him that you leaving is really no big deal, so as you are doing let him have a decent exercise and then give him something interesting to investigate and step out of the room - and immediately back in before he has time to start his "you left meeeeee" bustle around the room briefly doing nothing in particular and repeat over and over until he decides you are so boring he may as well get on with investigating his interesting thing. At this point you can start to leave him a tiny bit longer and build up - but you are aiming to avoid the upset of you leaving him.


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## Lena11 (Aug 1, 2021)

2ndhandgal said:


> OK - back track and change your method, at the moment your pup is learning that you leaving him is really upsetting and you are waiting for the upset to subside. A much better method is to teach him that you leaving is really no big deal, so as you are doing let him have a decent exercise and then give him something interesting to investigate and step out of the room - and immediately back in before he has time to start his "you left meeeeee" bustle around the room briefly doing nothing in particular and repeat over and over until he decides you are so boring he may as well get on with investigating his interesting thing. At this point you can start to leave him a tiny bit longer and build up - but you are aiming to avoid the upset of you leaving him.


Generally completely agree with you 2ndhandgal, however, and this is individual to each pup, I noticed mine started noticing and relating bone = you leave. I started with this, but the trainer told me to only do that occasionally. Best to do what 2ndhandgal said, but sometimes without anything to distract, so they can learn to relax (start with leaving 2 seconds for a few days or weeks and build up). Do this many times a day.


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## Lena11 (Aug 1, 2021)

Hope it helps to know, I am in the same boat


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Absolutely agree Lena, you don't want the bone to become a predictor of you leaving - sorry should have added that!


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## HannahHarding87 (12 mo ago)

Thank you all- we have been doing the leaving for a second trick also, we will back track and see where we end up.


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## Lena11 (Aug 1, 2021)

Good idea. I wrote own each day how long I left him to see progress. It is slow and easy to get frustrated


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## Evelyn_New_Jersey (May 7, 2020)

When my dog was a puppy I let him follow me everywhere in the house. He'd nap in the bathroom while I showered. Pretty soon following me became old hat, and he became less worried about me being out of his sight or about not being able to get to me. These dogs love their people!


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## littlesophie (Mar 29, 2012)

My beautiful Sophie will be 10 years old tomorrow and her temperament has been the same since I picked her up from the breeder at 8 weeks old. She loves all the members of her ”new” family, but she identifies with one person the most. In my case, it’s me. She follows me everywhere, she waits outside the restroom while I shower, if I walk out of a room, she follows within 3 minutes. She jumps on my lap and cuddles. She looks for my approval to approach other dogs while on walks, etc.
Cockapoos are extremely loyal and loving. She never bites, and barks only when the doorbell rings. I believe she is alerting us that company has arrived. She does have anxieties when she hears a loud noise, thunder or the worse is July 4th. But her thunder shirt helps tremendously, it really calms her.
She have never been in a kennel and she travels with us. We leave her at home, but never over a few hours. When we return, she is happy to see us and jumps with excitement. No training was required.


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## littlesophie (Mar 29, 2012)

One other thing, I never put in a crate from the day I brought her home. The breeder indicated that i wouldn’t need a lease. I didn’t follow that advice, I bought a leash. But I do understand what he was conveying, they stay very close to their family and will not roam off.


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## Chloebear Mom (Jun 4, 2021)

HannahHarding87 said:


> Hi All,
> 
> We have a now 13 week old Cockapoo and we are finding leaving the room pretty unbearable!
> 
> ...


I have a 17 year old cockapoo she has never been crated - when a pup she just gated into areas when we were away only otherwise she followed me everywhere. During showers she laid outside the tub had to step over her when I get out. It is same today. She sleeps a lot more now but still wakes if I walk out of the room and follows me up and down the stairs. Very food motivated always. Barks when she sees prepping food and won’t stop until I put it down in front of her. We have two dogs the other is a German Shepard and she is the one who lets us know when they are ready to come in from outside - cockapoos are vocal - extremely loyal best dog I’ve ever had - they are conditioned takes a few days to catch on sometimes but you can do something over and over and they will catch on. Let her/him leave room with you.


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## MrMotivations (Mar 14, 2015)

HannahHarding87 said:


> Hi All,
> 
> We have a now 13 week old Cockapoo and we are finding leaving the room pretty unbearable!
> 
> ...


...he's training you well. We have found ignoring that behaviour works some. Leave a chew toy. Crating likely won't help. You'll hear these suggestions from others- Love your doggy. They don't like to be fussed at,


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## HannahHarding87 (12 mo ago)

MrMotivations said:


> ...he's training you well. We have found ignoring that behaviour works some. Leave a chew toy. Crating likely won't help. You'll hear these suggestions from others- Love your doggy. They don't like to be fussed at,


Hi

thanks for the reply, we have now got a dog trainer on board and the suggestions for this behaviour is very different to what is online (just for everyone out there who is facing the same issues)- please don't take google as gospel.

we have now been advised to follow the below process:
Find an item which is not the dogs toy or anything that would interest him (ornament or something standard) 
when you prepare to leave the room, take this item out and leave it in view for the puppy, leave the room and wait up to 5 seconds, if no fuss, return to the room put the item out of view and reward puppy with a treat but little interaction, just gentle praise.

Repeat until no barking, whining etc.
This item is a way of teaching the puppy that when you leave the room its ok, as you always come back to put this item away. we started yesterday and its working to up to 10 seconds silence so it can only get better!

Good Luck to all you facing separation issues X


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## MrMotivations (Mar 14, 2015)

HannahHarding87 said:


> Hi
> 
> thanks for the reply, we have now got a dog trainer on board and the suggestions for this behaviour is very different to what is online (just for everyone out there who is facing the same issues)- please don't take google as gospel.
> 
> ...


Brilliant. I'd like to know how it worked. (In place of food treats, which builds expectations for more of the same, and fat dogs, I use my voice and or a touch as reward. I've had no fat dogs.)


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

MrMotivations said:


> Brilliant. I'd like to know how it worked. (In place of food treats, which builds expectations for more of the same, and fat dogs, I use my voice and or a touch as reward. I've had no fat dogs.)


 Not necessarily for separation anxiety but evidence shows that food rewards are the best way for any animals including dogs to learn. My dogs have all been rewarded with food, praise, and play as appropriate. They are happy obedient dogs and not in any way overweight. My collie/lab cross would work happily for voice. play and touch, my cockapoo (who came to me as an older dog) would never have learned a good enough recall to be trustworthy off lead on our walks without good food rewards.


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## Lena11 (Aug 1, 2021)

To be fair, it also depends highly on the treats. I try to not give too many unhealthy treats, but I was lucky to have a puppy that would murder for a piece of carrot. Freeze dried meal or boiled chicken work too and treats should be kept very small!


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## MrMotivations (Mar 14, 2015)

2ndhandgal said:


> Not necessarily for separation anxiety but evidence shows that food rewards are the best way for any animals including dogs to learn. My dogs have all been rewarded with food, praise, and play as appropriate. They are happy obedient dogs and not in any way overweight. My collie/lab cross would work happily for voice. play and touch, my cockapoo (who came to me as an older dog) would never have learned a good enough recall to be trustworthy off lead on our walks without good food rewards.


IMO, all dogs are individuals, despite all the canine similarities.


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