# The *** police



## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

Ok you looked so I don't have to feel bad for writing it  
Little is in heat or having her season or morphing into the tart of the century. You decide but I am spending every second of every day being the *** police!  
I have a recently neutered two year old foster hound here. He clearly remembers what "***" is and starts humping the air as he runs towards her.  
She wants noting to do with him but won't leave jake alone. She licks his face, chases him around, brings him toys, does this little wiggle dance, bum thrust thing to him. 
Jake has no clue what she wants he just knows he isn't interested.
Yesterday, after endless frustration suffered by Wriggley, (she would run up to him, shake her bum, then when he put his paw on it she would spin around and rip his face off) he started trying to hump me!  I had to leash him to a table leg. Poor thing was so horny he couldn't see straight! 
I am not a fan of this at all. I've never even seen the red rocket before as I am an early neuterer. I'm my head I keep thinking of a story Mandy told about her dogs lipstick coming out and not going back in. She had to run across a field with him or something. 
I would die!
Or if I come and find a penis stuck in my little baby girl.  I will die!!!
She is running around in undies that I am hoping are some kind of magical shield. 
Clearly I'm not cut out to breed......










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## Lindor (Feb 3, 2014)

Oh Donna, you've got me laughing so hard I've got tears running down my face. 
What does Ozzy think of all the goings on?


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## Alittlepoo (Apr 29, 2015)

Ok Officer, this is hysterical and really hits close to home for me. Sophie recently had her first season and was sporting a diaper and a onesie for weeks. Thankfully there are no males around at our home. 

Keep a watchful eye on them, someone may need time in the slammer! I look forward to more police updates. Thanks for a good laugh.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Oh yes, I remember this. My shock and amazement that neutered Max's lipstick is huge....and Phoebe coerced him....and they did it.....ON MY BED! I had to hold them there until things subsided as Phoebe cried and tried to get away. My God, the angle. Still reeling from the shock.


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

Ok....I thought I was a horrified as I could be when little miss hussy humped my arm while looking at Jake but one of you just said weekS. I almost cried.
Lily was sequestered at my parents house for her wild ways. I'll try to get video later. She had Jake trapped in his crate with her sexy bum bum dance.I swear she is even walking with a wiggle and the undies make it look that much more suggestive.
Ozzy cares only about me. He is my own private stalker. Not that I don't love it but when I'm working I can feel his eyes burning a hole in me. We have lots of snuggle on the dog bed time.
I will say tho all this *** has made everyone tired. Except willow. She has remained unscathed. And I am thanking God I fixed her young.









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## SallyDoll (Apr 17, 2016)

Haha that is too funny! Both of my dogs are fixed but sometimes Lou likes to air hump his way to Sally. I don't like the thought of his lipstick penetrating Sally so I make him wear a onesie if he dare tries!


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Tink/Little's new name has to be Twerk   :behindsofa: 
I think the pants need to be tighter - think chastity belt!!
Seems wrong to talk about Wriggley in the same post - but he is gorgeous  you won't have him for long.


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## Goosey (Aug 22, 2014)

Ha ha so funny, that's made my day and I love your way with words Donna!
Not quiet sure why it's ever been called a lipstick,but it's for sure its one I wouldn't want to put on my lips 
I'm just so glad Molly was not interested in flaunting herself, in actual fact it was much the opposite she was moody most of the time. None of this bum wiggling from Molly!


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Oh dear, poor you and yet thank you for providing the entertainment...!! I expect Tracey will be along at some stage as I recall it being a chaotic time for her with Ruby being a little tart and managing to get her way with Ralph a few times during her season despite him having had the chop!! Occasionally a make dog will get rat her excited over the feel of the clippers when I'm grooming, one is so bad I have to take regular breaks for him to cool down during the groom!


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## Nanci (Mar 1, 2012)

That made me laugh so hard Donna!! Jake looks like he is saying "Just go away . . . NOW!".


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## Kellyf1 (Feb 12, 2016)

Sorry but that was so funny and I'm loving the Bridget Jones mummy knickers!


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

I'm telling you she is exhausting all of us! Jake is beside himself. He was hiding with my dad tonight and she jumped up, started licking his ears and nuzzling. I felt dirty watching and yet wished I had grabbed my phone to tape it. She could make her own little porn video








She wasn't allowed to sleep with us last night so that we could all get some rest.








Using pa to get to Jake.








Wrigs looking over like why won't she do that to me! 

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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

What day of her season is she on?


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

Marzi said:


> What day of her season is she on?


She started bleeding last saturday. It's going to get worse right? 

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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Oh yes


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

Marzi said:


> Oh yes


Oh God!!! Good thing wriggs leaves tomorrow
https://vimeo.com/163735001

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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

I don't know what you are worrying about - I have a 13 year old daughter


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## Lindor (Feb 3, 2014)

Poor Jake.


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

Oh Donna the title had me hooked.....
Hahahaha I truly feel your pain!! 
I remember ruby twerking her butt at Ralphs face, whilst wearing a pair of Billy's little underpants and him been locked in his crate - despite him been chopped!!
She was one horny little bitch!
Then it happened.... They got stuck! (Several times) despite me playing the *** police....
The first time I flooded the (tiled hallway) chucking water over them (old wives tale myth) then billy came along (must be age 4) asking what was going on.... It was one of those chaotic getting ready for work and school kind of mornings....
My reply was "now is not the time for the birds and the bees"
His reply was "where are the birds and the bees?" Oblivious to R&R stuck butt to butt!! 
Ahhh I remember it well - as does does our Dawn (Dudley) according to her comment.

Ralph still attempts (daily) to mount ruby..... So sometimes she will just sit down as though to say ."idiot" other times she will turn around and bite his ears! Other times she will stand there as if to say FFS if you must!! 
Oh Donna the joys of having a pack eh?? 
Poor jake.......he must be traumatised by the little minxes demands!! Xx


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

Tracey it's traumatizing! I thank God the boys want no part of it. Now she is laying on her back right in front of them little girl flashing. 

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