# 16 Month Male Seperation Anxiety



## Julie.Bradley (Mar 27, 2013)

Hi this is my first post. Ozzy is 16 months old. We have a few issues which I think are related to anxiety and fear and would like some advice.
From a puppy Ozzy has lived in our kitchen in a basket, separated from the living room by stairgate. His access to the room has always been limited as I have a 5 year old boy. As a puppy we tried to manage the time they spent together as both 'liked to play'. Now Ozzy is older he is very tolerant of my son and patient. We now let him in the room on a night when kids are in bed or during day when at school. But if he is with kids anywhere he is fine. Recently when it has come to bed time Ozzy refuses to get up and leave the room. He has occasionally growled at my husband when he tries to put him to bed but we found his anal glands needed emptying.
His reluctance to go in the kitchen now happens all the time. He refuses to come in from the garden unless it is by his choice if he is coming in for a drink or to greet a visitor or if he can join us in the living room. I have to go in the garden and put a lead on him to bring him in. I use treats to encourage him to come in but sausage bribery is now v limited. He also likes the back door to be open if we are at home.
He shows anxiety when he senses we are leaving him. He tries to push through the stairgate if we are leaving for work or school or starts shaking or pacing. I work 2 days a week 8.30 to 3 when Ozzy is left in the kitchen. A dog walker comes around 12.30 to take Ozzy for a 30 min walk. He is not destructive when left on his own.
It is like something has happened in the past month while he has been left and I know it is unfair to leave him but here we are. Or is this a usual poo trait?
I have just booked a 2 hr consultation with a behaviour specialist with me and my husband for help and advice.
Ozzy is a v independent young cockapoo. Loves to play fetch and play with other dogs. Although he is wary of some breeds. 
We would love some advice although it probably all sounds a bit of a mess.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

I am not sure why having a 5 year old means Ozzy needs to live seperately from his family for a lot of the time and it sounds like he is not either and that is why he is objecting at times to be put back into the kitchen on his own. Would it not be possible now he is passed his puppyhood to let him be part of your family full time which may resolve some of the issues? 

When you are leaving him try to make sure he has had a good walk before you leave him and then leave him with activity toys like kongs or activity balls so he has something to do to pass the time.


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

If Ozzy is kind and patient with your son why does he have to be shut away in the kitchen? Mine can't bear to be shut away from the rest of the family, I think that's quite normal for cockapoos as they just love human company.


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Your dog just sounds lonely in the kitchen on his own. I agree with the others, at 5 your son is able to understand about how to behave around the dog and vice versa. These are companion animals and do not do well separated, even by just a gate, from the rest of the family.


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## cjames99 (Aug 27, 2013)

Hi, I really feel for you. We have had separation issues with Zelda and I have found it very upsetting. At one point I could not even leave the room without her going into a complete panic and I felt guilty that I had not been able to make her feel more secure. Like you, we found a fantastic behaviourist who has helped us make a real difference through gentle reward based approaches. Six months on and I can't say that Zelda is happy to be left but we have created a routine for her that she gains a sense of security from and we are making steady progress. There is so much more I would like to say but it would make for a very long post! Good luck with your behaviourist and I am happy to help more if I can. If it helps in any way, it seems our lovely cockapoos are predisposed to these issues due to their intelligence and attachment to their 'people' - Zelda is only truly happy when we are all together as a family!
C


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## Nanci (Mar 1, 2012)

My poos are 2 and almost 3 and they still follow me all over the house! My oldest Sami lays patiently on the bathroom rug while I take a shower every day. If I go out and am unable to take them with me, I MUST give them a car ride when I get home, as they LOVE rides and both sitck their heads out the window and bark at squirrels. My point is they are normally VERY attached to their owners and Ozzy sounds like he simply wants to be a part of family activities too. You took pains to mention how well he does with your son and didn't mention any problems other than not wanting to go in his gate and not coming in from the garden . . . all indications that he does not want to be separated again . . . why can he not be with his family??


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## Julie.Bradley (Mar 27, 2013)

cjames99 said:


> Hi, I really feel for you. We have had separation issues with Zelda and I have found it very upsetting. At one point I could not even leave the room without her going into a complete panic and I felt guilty that I had not been able to make her feel more secure. Like you, we found a fantastic behaviourist who has helped us make a real difference through gentle reward based approaches. Six months on and I can't say that Zelda is happy to be left but we have created a routine for her that she gains a sense of security from and we are making steady progress. There is so much more I would like to say but it would make for a very long post! Good luck with your behaviourist and I am happy to help more if I can. If it helps in any way, it seems our lovely cockapoos are predisposed to these issues due to their intelligence and attachment to their 'people' - Zelda is only truly happy when we are all together as a family!
> C


Hi thank you for the reply. I would love to hear more about what your behaviourist suggested for Zelda. We found the visit from our behaviourist useful. He said Ozzy has separation anxiety and being in the kitchen alone causes him stress. He suggested videoing Ozzy while we went out. We put Ozzy in the kitchen and went out and left the video recording. It showed him pacing about the whole time he was on his own, spending alot of time hiding under the dining table. Very upsetting to think he has been going through this every time he has been left. After many tears and feelings of guilt we are trying to help him. Ozzy now has access to living room all the time, he sleeps in there at nighttime. I don't think he has slept at all at night for a long time. He has growled at my son a few times but we know we have to educate our little boy aswell not to tease.
We are doing clicker training to try and encourage him to go into the kitchen. Play fun games in the kitchen. Have got a kong which we will use and fill with tasty treats to give him at least 20 mins before we go out although we have to help him be happy eating in the kitchen first when he is alone. We try not to have a leaving routine and am trying not to leave him alone at all at the mo. This is the hardest thing as there are times we have to go out so he stays in the kitchen. Would you mind letting me know how you helped Zelda. I know it is going to take a long time and the ultimate aim is for Ozzy to feel confident that we will come back. Ps the behaviourist was quite intrigued by Ozzy - probably not a good thing. Can send u an email if that is easier. Julie


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Molly had severe separation anxiety when I first had her (at 18 months old) she would panic the second I closed the door and any food I left would not be eaten. She tried to dig through the back door and when I (very briefly) tried crating her she dug enough to make her paws sore.

I had to alter my routine so she was never left even for a moment. Once she had calmed down I started going outside just for a moment to put things in the bin and shut the door and then came back - all very matter of fact and no huge deal. Lots of coming and goings until she accepted that while she would like to come she could cope with me leaving and returning immediately. I also got her used to things like keys in doors and shoes going on not necessarily meaning anything at all to do with leaving.

During the day when I could not be with her she spent time at my friends house where there were lots of other dogs and plenty of comings and goings so this also helped me as she got used to being left for very brief times here. 

We were eventually able to move on to me feeding her and leaving her again for just a few minutes while she ate. I knew I had made progress as she was happy to eat now and no longer got too stressed by it all.

I now have a second dog and whilst she would prefer not to be left at all she settles on her chair while I am out and eats the biscuit I leave her with and is fine to be left for a few hours.


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

Is there any reason why he has to stay in the kitchen when you go out? Is he destructive? I leave mine the run of my whole house when I go out. They never chew anything just find a place to sleep that they like. They would never choose the kitchen. One likes to sleep half way up the stairs and the other loves the front doormat for some strange reason!


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

I read somewhere the way to condition them that you will come back is to have the exact same routine each time. And then walk out the door and come right back. You do that a lot until he knows leaving = coming back. Then you greet and give loves and all things yummy. Then you start to increase the time you are away (5 min, 15 min, 30 min, etc). Then you vary the time. The key is to train that walking out the door means you walk back AND lots of affection. Of course I'm pretty harsh and other than the first step and. a couple of times with the 5 min, I was gone for four to five hours after. What I noticed though is after I did that, they didn't pounce on me as soon as I walked in the door. In fact a couple of times I had to go find them as they were napping. And the greeting is always the same, a lot of jumping and happiness whether it's 5 minutes or 5 hours. 


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## Hollysefton (Sep 28, 2013)

Murphy was in the kitchen with a stair gate, until about 1 week ago (he's 7months) and I was leaving for work on Monday (usually left from 8.25 till 1) and he just wouldn't go in the kitchen with his toys and kong. So I just left the gate open so he has access to livingroom. When I came back he was on the sofa sleeping or sometimes just watching out the window. Kong eaten and didn't seem stressed. I think it was his way of telling me he's a big boy now and can be trusted with the sofa! Sometimes they just have the places (some times bizarre ones) that they like to be. Murphy's obvs isn't the kitchen! Good luck with implementing and try to be calm and not make it a big deal, I know that's the hardest thing to do when u love and worry about them so much. Keep us posted x


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