# Nervous new owner needs help



## janeymoore (Aug 21, 2014)

Hi All
This is my first post and my very first puppy! We got our
Beautiful champagne f2 cocker poo ( florence) last Friday at 8 weeks.
She is really fab.
Very sleepy,loves playing and cuddles.
I'm worried that I could be really doing her damage by crate training her.
I have her crate in the kitchen and her food and water is in there along with her bed.
She's been doing really well by day.
Happily using the garden for toilets although she's also doing her fair share of accidents too!! She's eating fine and taken well to my family. 3 kids
running around after school etc. But when it comes to bed time
She cries and cries through the night.
I do go downstairs in the middle of the night to take her outside to toilet but I don't try and excite her and pop her back in her crate.
I understand it takes time for her to adjust but I'm so concerned that crate training isn't a good option. I'm worried when she grows she will have separation anxiety.
Today I had to lock her in the cage so I could do the school run. I was only 15 mins and expected her to be wailing upon my return but she was just sat there, quite happily! 
She had knocked her food and water over but as I listened at the door before coming in, I heard nothing so maybe it's working.
I work from home and she happily sleeps in the crate by day with me sitting near her and goes in all on her own.
I guess I'm just feeling really unconfident and so confused by all the info online.
Any help would be so gratefully received.
Many thanks 
Jane and flossy.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

She is probably lonely at night so crying - one of the best ways is to move the crate into your bedroom initially so she learns to settle happily in it at night and when she has settled into your home a little more you can start to move the crate out of your room - an alternative is to sleep downstairs with her for a while until she gets more comfortable.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Obviously during the day she is happy to be in the crate because you are near. So the crate is not the problem. The problem is, for her to be happy, she needs a constant presence....you. 5 nights ago she knew her place, her family, then she was uprooted. Carted off to a strange place with new people, smells routines which she coped with really well because she had company. Apart from at night. She is scared, lonely and bereft. So how do you fix it.? Put her in your bedroom. Problem solved......and you will end up with a happy, confident, beautiful little girl.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

I have to agree with the two ladies above 

I "persevered" with Lola my first poo and she cried and cried and cried and wailed. It was awful . I thought it was my only option to teach her to sleep downstairs in her crate. I still feel guilty about it, especially since I realised how much these pups are destined to be companion dogs and crave their humans. 

Needless to say I didn't do it second time round with Nina and bonus was that none of my sleep was disturbed plus no lasting guilt . Yes she was crated, yes I tried her downstairs for a while and initially she was content to sleep with puppy warmer, ticking clock, crate covered etc but as she settled in to our house, she got more attached to us and Lola and after a few nights, she was upstairs with Lola because she had started to get a bit distressed when we left her. As soon as she had the company she settled again, happy to get in her crate upstairs with Lola. So sweet. Much happier all round 

Add: what I didn't say was that after a while with Lola (weeks later when she was dry at night) we moved her upstairs, she was so much happier being near us. It was then I realised she was better off close by, plus I got rid of the crate from downstairs which was a bonus. So eventually she got upgraded to a big girl bed at roughly 6 months old (the crate was great but I was glad to be rid of it) and no crate and now sleeps in the spare room next to us obviously with Nina now too.


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## janeymoore (Aug 21, 2014)

So if I do decide to move her upstairs then how long would you give it before I moved her back downstairs again? And won't we just go through the same thing as she will just be back to square one and on her own?
Thanks for the advice so far ladies. Really struggling with this one!


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Why would you move her back down?


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## janeymoore (Aug 21, 2014)

I suppose I didn't plan on having our pup in our bedroom with us. Plus we have a very restless little boy who is a very light sleeper. 
I've now moved her to the sitting room and pulled my duvet downstairs, on the sofa. She's fast asleep in her crate now! 
I was never going to use the crate long term. Just to toilet train her and hold her there whilst we are out etc so she doesn't hurt herself. 
Once we have her fully house trained we were then going to allow her upstairs.
I have a feeling this little girl is always going to want to be around us but there are times in the future I will have to leave her. I thought the crate training would be for the best. 
I have never had a pet before so this is all new to me.I want the whole experience to be great for all the family. Including Floss.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

My dogs sleep downstairs (or they were trained to sleep downstairs, Dot and Kiki tend to sleep on the landing by the airing cupboard now - it is a warm spot).
Plenty of people sleep on the sofa, near their pup's crate, for a while until their pup is settled in and used to their routine.
You will find what works for you, your pup and your family.
It takes less time for a puppy to learn to sleep at night than a baby 
By the way, I love the name Floss.


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## janeymoore (Aug 21, 2014)

Thanks for that. We deliberated for ages over her name!
The kids are still not 100% keen.
She still woke last night and cried a bit. Took her out twice for toilet in the night, but comparison to the previous evenings, it was so less stressful. 
I'm thinking now about moving her upstairs permanently.
I just don't want her to rule the roost ! Although I have a feeling she will. 
Jane and Floss


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Once they are old enough and confident enough they tend to find their place to sleep. I promise you these little dogs fit in with you, IF, you give them what they need to feel secure now. I tend to think along the lines of.....would I persist with such and such an action, if this tiny thing was a human baby? If the answer is 'no', then don't do it. As for crates. I have never used one. I haven't felt the need, for any of my dogs......and I've had a few. I tend to think, God, they are trapped if anything happens. A sudden flood....well that's my nightmare.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Two things are quite clear to me. One, cockapoo owners, like their dogs, can really overthink things. Second is that no matter what you decide it will work out. Many people here crate their dogs very successfully, others have firm downstairs only rules, others have their dogs in bed with them. The only comman factor is that we all love our dogs and our dogs all love us.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

janeymoore said:


> I suppose I didn't plan on having our pup in our bedroom with us. Plus we have a very restless little boy who is a very light sleeper.
> I've now moved her to the sitting room and pulled my duvet downstairs, on the sofa. She's fast asleep in her crate now!
> I was never going to use the crate long term. Just to toilet train her and hold her there whilst we are out etc so she doesn't hurt herself.
> Once we have her fully house trained we were then going to allow her upstairs.
> ...


Sleeping downstairs with her is ideal if you plan on having her down there long term. Hopefully your sofa is nice and comfy  You will find your groove, she will settle in and all will be right. Some of them really seem to struggle through this short adjustment period, others handle it better. All she needs to learn is that you're always coming back. That will take time, but she will grow to trust you. Hope you're not downstairs too long


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## janeymoore (Aug 21, 2014)

Thanks Ruth
I gave in completely and moved her crate to my room. She sleeps pretty well now. I guess I've now made it very tricky to move her back down, but I have friends with dogs and they did this and have said its fine. Once she trusts me and knows I'm around she should be ok. I have no problem sleeping with her in my room though. Its the husband that isn't so keen!!
She is growing from strength to strength. First vaccinations were today and she didn't murmur so I think she has a lot more confidence now she sleeping closer to me. 
Honestly. I'm pretty sure I'm worrying more now than I did when I had my 3 children !!!


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

I promise you, she will sleep down stairs when she is ready....the first puppy we had in our room, actually on the bed from 8 weeks old, and it worked beautifully. When she was ready she moved into her box beside the bed and eventually slept very happily, downstairs in the kitchen. It worked beautifully.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

My two would sleep anywhere now. Lola loves the sofa and would happily stay there all night if I left her but I close them in their room upstairs and am content they are feeling safe.


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## tessybear (May 1, 2011)

Dexter slept with me at night from a small pup but it wouldn't bother him at all to sleep anywhere in the house now. He likes the door mat and the fireplace for some strange reason.


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## Viks (Oct 15, 2014)

Hi jaynemoore
I'm so glad I've read your post I'm picking up my pup on 27th having never owned a dog I need to learn everything!
I will now have a crate in my room to start with and see how that works


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