# Guilty admission



## Pipp (Mar 12, 2015)

It feels a bit inappropriate posting this on a web site called ''I love my Cockapoo''...however I will anyway because frankly I need advice. I am having rather mixed feelings about our cockapoo puppy,Bonnie, who is now 16 weeks old.

I can honestly say I had no idea how much work was required with puppies. We have had her for 7 weeks- She is utterly manic, bites wildly and indiscriminately when excited, gets us up at 5.30 am every day, is relentless and harassing non stop for attention and time and is the same with other dogs. I just had no idea!!! We have young children and she is harder work and more demanding than the children. It's utterly exhausting and I am wondering if we have made a MASSIVE mistake. On top of everything the toilet training seems to have come to a grinding halt and recently she wont even go outside and waits until we are inside! I am feeling deflated, exhausted and at a loss. We did puppy training classes with Bonnie (6 classes over 6 weeks) but she got so excited and distracted when we were there because of the other puppies they were pretty useless, we also kept getting told off by the trainer because she was barking too much and getting hyper!

Is it normal to have the puppy blues? Or does this mean that we are just not very suitable dog owners? I feel like such an idiot, so many people have dogs and cope wonderfully, but for me, I am just starting to wonder when things get easier and if things ever stop being so hard!!!


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

ok first,
Yes it is normal to feel the puppy blues. 
Puppies are hard hard work they bite they poop and pee everywehre, they try your patience, and they take up so much of your time. and are 100% worth it in every single way. unlike your children your puppy will mature faster, and will not always need more attention than they do, but that being said a cockapoo is a social dog who does require deep companionship. every bit of energy that you put into her will come back to you ten fold. the more time you give her the better behaved and well rounded she will become. she is in a trying stage. but it does get better. 
and don't be surprised she learned nothing in her puppy class, the best thing she got from puppy class was socialization. the class is more for you to learn the techniques and the commands to use. it is the work that you put in after the class is over that will give you the results. 
keeping a scheduel is key. 5:30 is when her tiny bladder is telling her to wake up now, but that will get better as her bladder matures. at 16 weeks. I wish I had a puppy that was sleeping till 5:30 my first one was still getting up at 3 to pee. 
take a breath you can get through it if you want to. 
Puppies are adorable, but are really hard work.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Poor Pipp - yes puppy blues are more than normal!
I don't know how much you have searched around on this site - but I just typed 'blues' into the search box and got pages of hits. I've copied a few of the thread links below. Have a read and be comforted. You are most certainly not alone.
http://ilovemycockapoo.com/showthread.php?t=67593&highlight=blues

http://ilovemycockapoo.com/showthread.php?t=54721&highlight=blues

http://ilovemycockapoo.com/showthread.php?t=8863&highlight=blues

http://ilovemycockapoo.com/showthread.php?t=13226&highlight=blues

http://ilovemycockapoo.com/showthread.php?t=11034&highlight=blues

It is great that you felt able to come on here and talk about how you are feeling. Genuinely everyone on here wants you and your puppy to develop an amazing relationship that you will both enjoy for years to come. These cockapoos are very special little dogs - but puppies are very, very hard work. The trick is to try and really enjoy the good moments and find ways to have fun with your pup. 
It does get easier, but love is a vitally important ingredient.
Treat yourself to a big bar of chocolate or a couple of large glasses of wine. Be kind to yourself.


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## Toffin (Aug 8, 2012)

It's utterly exhausting at the beginning. I remember falling asleep with my head on the kitchen table one day, I was so very tired. It lasted about 4 months from memory which is such a short time in their and our lives. But they then seem to grow up so very quickly and definitely by 6 months Polly was well on the way to the lovely settled, calm, loving, adaptable little girl she is now. She comes everywhere with us - up and down to Scotland and to south of London every month, weeks away to various coastal cottages, trips out to woods, beaches and the countryside, hardly ever on the lead, just potters along by our side. Everyone loves her and she loves everyone. She's our little bumble bottom.

We didn't actually get up at night to her at all though - we put a puppy pad (from PAH) in her crate and she would use it in the night then go back to bed and sleep through until we came down at 7am. It probably kept us sane! She was clean night and day from 12 weeks and dry night and day from 16.

It's very brave of you to talk about this and I really do admire your honesty. But if you can bear to stay with it, you will surely be rewarded.

Hope this helps.

Toffin
x


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

It sounds to me as if she is getting too much stimulation. These puppies of ours need far more sleep than you think. The rthymn goes something like. Get up, toilet, play, feed......and sleep. Wake up, greet, toilet, train, sleep. Wake up toilet, feed, toilet, cuddles and sleep. Wake up, toilet, play, toilet, sleep. Wake up, toilet, walk, sleep. Wake up, toilet, feed, sleep. Wake up, toilet, bed time. When she goes out to pee or poop, stay with her. If necessary put her on the lead and walk up and down the garden until she performs. They are easily distracted and this helps them to focus. Try to always been calm ( at least on the outside). They know when we are stressed and it can wind them up. Plenty of rest should help her to become calmer. Then there is diet. What do you feed her. Some kibble so can make them hyper. So it would be worth discussing kibble on this forum, or switching to raw. Feel free to ask for advice if required. Now for you. Spend an hour after lunch holding your puppy. Let her fall asleep on your lap. Have a doze. It's a lovely way to bond and it's very refreshing.......so you won't feel quite so tired either. These things can be a vicious circle. Hope this is of use. Good luck :hug:


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

I have a 6 month old human baby and a 2 year old cockapoo, the first 6 months of cockapoo were definitely harder than the first 6 months of baby!! I didn't enjoy those first few weeks at all.

Keep going, keep venting on here and little by little, without you even noticing it will get better.

Your puppy sounds just like mine was - I used to feel so deflated after training classes because Tilly was so hyper and bitey. Fast forward to now and she is so chilled out, easy going, gentle, obedient, an absolute delight - at 4 months old I never thought these days would come! 

Chin up - it will get better!!


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

I wouldn't feel guilty for having these thoughts. What it means is that you are a conscientious cockapoo parent. And these little buggers are exceptionally adorable because they need to be so that we keep them. My two were the only ones at their puppy classes. I learned a few tips but I'd done my own research on training on YouTube so my two were already halfway through the classes before we even began. For us, the point of training wasn't so they could perform fun tricks but to help distract them from destroying everything. Also 5 to 10 min of training every hour meant they were engaging their minds, which made them tired too. It also gave me a tool to keep them from tearing apart my clothes with their crockapoo baby teeth. If you have kids, have them do the training. Simple commands like "touch" and "sit" or the "name game" means the dog learns that your kiddos are not litter mates and everyone starts to relax some. I had kids as young as 3 training these guys. 

Also don't feel like everything you've done has failed regarding housebreaking. These munchkins are smart. My two did the same thing yours did. They got it and then they didn't. After advice from all the folks on this site, I just went back to the steps did in the beginning. The difference is that it took one day to relearn rather than one week. My two are just over two years old and I still praise them for a pee and poop when I see it (even at the dog park). Try poochie bells to teach your pup to alert you to go outside. They do learn to sleep in as they grow older. While they used to wake me up very early in the mornings, I suddenly found myself having to wake them up. And that was just the beginning of my two changing from adorable little monsters to the awesome dogs I read all about. 

Teach her to plane a game of catch and that will wear her out with little effort on your part. Take her to dog parks so other dogs can help her socialize and learn good doggie behaviors. Send her to daycare for a day or two so you can get a break and replenish. While the statement hang it there because it does get better may not ring true. It does. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Datun Walnut (Oct 15, 2013)

Stick with it - it's worth it. It's a rare person on this forum who didn't go through it but it's a rarer person on the forum who now wouldn't do it again.
I hated it and was very down. Now we have the dog we wanted (more or less). Poos are doubly difficult pups but the adult is double the dog (IMHO)

My big regret?: not being able to enjoy the puppy stage because of the stress of it all. Honestly it will improve. Take it out on us, we've all been through it.


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

Ha ha! Sorry but you could have been describing Poppy at 16 weeks. She's 2 now and asleep after breakfast (not something I could have ever imagined)  

Poppy was worse in the lounge for some reason, mega hyper, jumping on and off all the chairs, flying from one end of the room, into the kitchen, the garden and then back inside at 100mph ad nauseum, chewing and gnawing at anything in sight and then weeing - very draining! So I rationed access to the lounge and also removed things she was fixated on (we have wooden floors with a rug and she incessantly chewed one corner, so we rolled it up and put it away for a while to avoid the negativity of saying 'no' 5000 times a minute). I bought a long piece of vet bed and used it as a stylish rug  instead, to cushion her jumping. I think the TV over stimulated her in the evenings (and she was naturally much more hyper then already) so we turned it low or off early and pretended to fall asleep to encourage her to chill (mixed results but better than not). Marzi suggested little pots of kibble to hand everywhere which was good and we always had a fabric toy to shove inbetween those needle fangs while extricating a limb 

One of the things I found really difficult was giving attention to anyone but her, I was so busy watching her for toilet signs or removing something from her mouth that I couldn't really have any kind of meaningful exchange with any visitors to the house. And housework was very sporadic, she was so interested in anything I did it was nigh on impossible! But y'know that only lasted a few months even though it felt endless at the time.

The best thing I did was to write a toilet log (!) I noted times of feeds and toilets and very quickly understood her daily pattern, so then I could preempt her and the indoor accidents were very few. I cleaned them up with a solution of biological washing liquid. She needed more exercise than the five minute rule but we stuck to it (probably could have stretched it a bit with hindsight) and she needed enforced sleep because she would never choose to switch off of her own accord. She hated the crate so her area is the hall (plastic bed with vet bed because she shredded all fabrics in seconds) with a baby gate to the stairs but again it took weeks of wasted crate training attempts to realise I had to give up with the it. Over the weeks from 16 to 22 I tried to roughly tailor her daily routine to mine (or what mine would be when I went back to school after the hols) and started to leave her alone for short periods.

It *will* get better, honestly. Start each day as a new one, forget about anything that deflated you yesterday and dwell on the good bits when they happen. Teach your children to be calm and slower around her and fold their arms and stop the play if it gets bitey. Choccie and or wine in copious amounts too


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## Janey153 (Mar 26, 2015)

These comments are both terrifying and enormously helpful and good for me to remember that when I get my Barney /Teddy it won't be all cuteness and peace!


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## Datun Walnut (Oct 15, 2013)

Janey153 said:


> These comments are both terrifying and enormously helpful and good for me to remember that when I get my Barney /Teddy it won't be all cuteness and peace!


It's good to go in with your eyes open as the the difference between your hopes & expections compared with reality can be a bit daunting. 

The fact that you are on here for tips shows you'll be diligent puppy parents.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Rufus was every bit as horrible as the worst dogs above with the added bonus that by his first groom he could jump over the half door between the groomer and us, so the only purpose baby gates ever had was to bruise human legs as we clambered over. I found this site when I was investigating having him rehomed, I truly thought he was demented or brain damaged. Fast forward just a few months and we had totally cracked biting, toileting, destruction, off leash walking and all the basic training. It was *very* hard work but as others have said the payoff is immense. 

What helped for me was hearing from people here that other crockapups had been like him and had come out the other side, and changing my mindset to "you might be the worlds worst dog but you are still mine and I will not give up on you". They live their lives at full throttle. The trick is to get past full throttle puppy to full throttle devoted, affectionate and well behaved dog.


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## Pipp (Mar 12, 2015)

*Thank you*

I cant thank you all enough. Honestly reading all your posts made my cry!!!

It is such incredibly hard work but I am so grateful to have found so much wonderful, caring and constructive advice.

Thank you so much. I absolutely had romanticized the idea of getting a puppy and whilst I knew it would be hard work I didnt realize it would be so exasperating and seemingly unrelenting! I wish I had read more on this site before we brought Bonnie home so I could have mentally prepared myself. 

I am so glad I posted, because I was feeling inadequate and like I had failed but its wonderful to know you all understand and have been through all this stuff. Bonnie is very adorable but there is a lot of work to be done. I am sad that I have not enjoyed the puppy stage actually as I know how fast it passes, I am just praying I at least do enjoy the adult stages. 

For now though, there is wine

xx


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

Pipp said:


> For now though, there is wine
> 
> xx


You're catching on quickly  

A girl after your own heart Tracey!!


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

Any training questions, or venting, just come on back and ask, there is usually someone who has been there and can help....and with perseverance through this stage, you will have a lovely and loveable adult cockapoo.


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

Well at least you were intelligent enough to just get one puppy (I fully admit my craziness when I decided to get two). I think we barely made it to through and I know I made a lot of mistakes. But what is wonderful about these dogs is that they are so smart that it's not a lost cause if the learning doesn't happen right away. For example, I was horrible about being excited and letting them be excited whenever I would see them. Little puppy pogo stick is so cute when they are ankle height. Now they are big enough that when Beemer does the pogo thing he gets my face. Recently I finally decided that I'm going to have to do something about it and so I worked on ignoring them when I came home. It just took a few times and now they know. It's not perfect but it works for us. Lexi does the pogo a couple of feet away and Beemer runs straight for the back door and then to me. What seems to work best is finding ways I'm ok with channeling their energy versus trying to stop it. Try not to worry about what your puppy "should" be like and focus on what does work for you. While I miss their puppy days, I love love who they are now. 


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

Lexi&Beemer said:


> Try not to worry about what your puppy "should" be like and focus on what does work for you.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Good advice for life in general even when there are no puppies involved!


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## petentialpete (Mar 9, 2015)

Yes well done Pipp for your honesty. I hope you have found the responses give you some comfort and hope. I can't add to them as I have all this to come but well done to you and well done all the warm and wonderful people on this forum for their support.


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## Peanut (Dec 1, 2013)

Glad to hear that you found the responses helpful. I didn't have problems having to handle Peanut, as I had wanted a dog for over 20 years, but my partner did. Big time. She had the pooblues for many months. Finally, when Peanut was about 6 months, she realised she was an amazing dog... and then.... then.... then.... she said to me one day: "I have been so busy stressing about her, that I have missed her puppyhood...........I would love to have another one...."

So, 21 years later...I have 2 poos!!!!!!! Yay!!


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

Lottierachel said:


> You're catching on quickly
> 
> A girl after your own heart Tracey!!


Indeed - it's the only way, especially with two poos!! (& a mini human!! ) x


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## alfiemorton (Mar 28, 2015)

Hi, I'm Christine and I too have an almost 16 week old crocodile masquerading as a cute, furry puppy. I can only say thank you so much for being so honest in your post. Like you, this has been our first foray into dog ownership and , like you, I was utterly unprepared for the onslaught! There is nothing you have said that I haven't thought myself. I too have felt defeated, tearful and exhausted on many occasions. But things are getting better. I have gone back to basics with toilet training, so I now have newspaper by both back doors, so if Alfie has an urgent need and I don't notice he needs to go out, he will use the paper. This has really cut down on the stress of being on the alert constantly, because with the best will in the world I can't always preempt his every need, especially in the evenings when I' m tired out and trying to cook a meal or just haven't the energy for yet another fruitless (mostly!) trip out to the garden. The other thing I have done is to make sure Alfie gets enough sleep. This has helped me massively, as well as benefitting him. He now has 3 long sleeps in the daytime (2 to 2 and a half hours at a time). He goes into his bed in the kitchen and I close the door. There is never a bark of protest, and at the end of it I have a happy, well rested puppy and I am ready for the next bout of activity! So my new regime is that Alfie wakes around 6.30am, then has sleeps throughout the day from approximately 9 - 11am, 1 - 3pm and 5 - 7pm. Then he is generally fairly settled in the evenings and happy to amuse himself before he goes to bed at 10pm. This might not work for everyone, but it is preserving my sanity!

I have to say that without this forum, I would have gone under weeks ago. There are so many kind people with so much sensible advice here, so thank you to you all.

I'd love to post a photo of my little red pup, but can't seem to fathom out how. Can anyone help?

Christine


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Sleep is vital! Brilliant to have got your crockapoo into such a good routine! Well done.
What devise are you using to view the forum?
I use a pc and to post pictures I use the 'Go Advanced' option under the message box and then click on the paper clip icon (attachments) which allows me upload pics stored on my computer...
Can't help if you are using anything else, because I cannot work out how to upload pics from my tablet or phone 
Keep trying we would love to see pictures of Alfie.


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## alfiemorton (Mar 28, 2015)

Thank you Marzi. I was trying to attach a photo from my PC, so I shall have a go later and use the go advanced option, as you suggest. Hopefully, I'll succeed!

Christine


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## caz3 (Mar 27, 2014)

Aww bless u things will get better honestly it is so hard and at times you just feel like you can't do it anymore it is also really hard when nothing is going right and you don't feel any love for this wee puppy I still get the very odd day like this when Harley plays up ,he is one years old but it is very rare now .as everyone has said try some short training and make sure they are sleeping enough .harlley gets up in the morning at 7 goes out to pee and poo comes back in and goes to sleep on the couch while we are all getting ready after i am back from the school run I take him for a free run then get back home and he is happy to snooze on and off most of the day while I get on with chores (he will lie in longer at weekends ) I sometime take him for a walk after dinner but not always I also play with his ball with him and do some training in between ,hang in there it will get easier thinking of you x


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