# Anxious



## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Hi we are wanting to add a new member to our family.The problem is I suffer with anxiety.We got a labradoodle puppy 2 years ago however I found it very stressful especially with a 2 year old at the time.I managed a week and then a friend agreed to take her(She subsequently developed an autoimmune disease and has cost £5000 so far) I sought help from my doctor and hav been feeling much more relaxed.We then tried rehoming a rescue in January however after being reassured that she was fantastic with kids etc she growled and barked whenever one of our 3 children entered a room and she went for one of my daughters friends scaring both myself and the child.We consulted a behaviourist who said that she was avert under socialised dog and may never accept children.A risk we could not take due to the fact we have 3 of our own and constantly have a house full of children.We are desperate for a dog.I have never owned one but have lays wanted one and have always been surrounded by them,my sister has 2 black labs and a cockapoo.My hubby has always grown up with dogs.I suppose I am just looking for advice on how to get over my anxiousness about puppyhood.I think I have read too much.Some things say don't give cuddles etc as they will not see you as the pack leader but we are an affectionate family who don't want just a dog but want another member of the family.Our youngest is due to start school full time next week and we feel it is a perfect time.I worry about the fact that I am a preschool teacher and I work on a wednesday and Thursday for 4 hours.How do I go off and leave a new puppy.I fear that I will get a puppy who suffers with everything bad I have read about.Seperation anxiety,severe barking,not sleeping at night,not toilet training etc.I spend all day every day thinking about owning a dog and wanting a dog and then I panic.I just need some advice please.
Kind regards
Clare


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Hi Clare, I fully appreciate and feel for you with your history with dogs and see your concerns. Dog ownership is a big commitement with caring and training plus a financial and emotional commitement. However if you want a dog for your family and are willing to put in the effort and time, a cockapoo could bring your family much love. 

There maybe a few opinions you could consider, find a good breeder and a well bred & raised puppy, your puppy could stay longer with the breeder for fuirther socialisation and training too, when you are at work for 4 hours twice a week you may consider a dog walker or dog day care. 

With some planning this could work for you, but please just enjoy the experience


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## francesjl (Mar 24, 2011)

Have a look at JoJo's info - www.mydogslife.co.uk
Lots of useful advice, also if you are serious visit a few breeders to get an idea of whether a cockapoo is the dog for you and your family !


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## Hfd (Aug 19, 2011)

I work part time and my hubby works for himself so after a couple of weeks off Billy had to get used to being left for around 4 hours too. We used a puppy pen around the crate and it has always worked well. Maybe you could tie in picking up your puppy with some holidays to get him or her settled. 
Try not to get anxious as puppies pick up on this, just make your decision then stick to it. A cockapoo can be a wonderful pet especially with young children.
Good luck, H x


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

This sounds really tricky. New puppies of any breed can be very hard work and 
I found actually quite stressful so I would be a bit worried about this adding to your anxiety. On the flip side if you can get over the initial 'hard work' of having a puppy and can make sufficient arrangements that both you and the puppy are happy with for when you are working then a dog dog could certainly be beneficial in helping with anxiety and cockapoo's are certainly a joy to own.
Please feel free to ask as many questions as you like on this forum to help you make a decision - there are some very experienced owners on here which will be able to give you great advice - I have personally been lucky enough to be helped on many occasions!! 
Good luck with whatever you decide

Colin & Bettyx


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Thank you everyone for being so nice.We have certainly made up out mind on the breed as my sister has a cockapoo and one of my daughters friends has one and we have all fallen in love.I think I have been made even more anxious by reading to much and by family making me feel like a failure with my last attempt.I have lost faith in myself( Jo I contacted Anne at broad reach dogs who told me to avoid working cockers as a parent because the pup would be too boisterous. I have contacted a few breeders and explained my situation but they have all either told me to not even consider owning a dog or they have not been willing to keep them a bit longer to get them used to toilet training etc as they just seem to want to get rid of the puppy and have the money (
XC


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

There have been lots of threads on here about working vs show cockers
and particularly about the working strain being more boisterous...some will swear they are and others , well the opposite. I have a show / toy poodle mix and she is VERY active. I believe a lot of it is down to the individual personality of the
dog. I think you need to take you time, find the right breeder ( easier said than done) and then make your decision.


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## designsbyisis (Dec 27, 2011)

Hello, Lovely to meet you.
Everyone's situation is different & ultimately it will be you that needs to make a final decision but I will tell you my story.
I started with depression & anxiety really badly when pregnant with my now 4 year old. It was an horrendous time & I also suffered with panic attacks and OCD about dirt etc. It was a long journey & I am now back to about 95%. I am not sure I will ever be 'cured' but I understand alot more about myself & what stresses me out.

We wanted a dog for the whole family & I also wanted one to get me to go outside more (as I am still a bit of a 'stay at home' type). When we got Dexter I have to be honest & say that for the first couple of weeks my panic attacks returned & I did feel stressed due to the poo in the house etc. But what I have noticed is that he also gives me a sense of calm at the times when we are out walking together or just sitting at home. He is still a puppy & so still getting over some toilet issues, biting etc but each day he is getting better & we are getting more confident. My family are a huge support to me too.

I can see that he will be a huge benefit to me and he is a breath of fresh air in our family too. The boys are all getting older now & have different hobbies & interests; Dexter is the glue that encourages us to go walking together.

I don't regret for one moment getting him - you need to be prepared & have a strategy ready to deal with whatever the puppy needs and then RELAX....the more relaxed you can be, the more relaxed he'll be. Its hard, especially when lots of children are running around your house too - but unlike children, puppies seem to grow up incredibly quickly & so the 'baby' stage is fleeting really. 

I do hope this helps you. (PS a big glass of wine also helped on occasion !)


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi personally I would wait until your youngest is a bit older. 4 is still very young and you will feel anxious having a dog around a small child. I have two kids of 6 and nearly 3, our dog is 2. It is very stressful having a puppy, as they do bite, scratch and chew things up. We got a dog while the children were that young because I was confident I could handle the stress and training (of kids and dog) So if you are already anxious wait until the kids are a bit older and a bit more able to understand any rules you have for playing with the puppy. You then should feel a little more able to handle the tough work and have a great family dog at the end of it.
You could try volunteering as a walker at a local rescue center to build up your own confidence with dogs?


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

Hi Clare,

Welcome to the forum :welcome: and well done for being so open about your concerns. I too suffer from anxiety/depression and know how hard it can be to not worry. 

I have an F1 Cockapoo called Saffi from working lines – in fact we bought her from Broadreach Dogs. I’m surprised that Anne advised you to go with Show lines – Saffi is boisterous but so are 90% of the Cockapoos I’ve met be they from Show, American or Working backgrounds. I imagine the secret would be to set ground rules early, teach your children to handle the puppy in the right way and tire the puppy mentally and physically. There is more about Saffi on my blog which can be accessed via my signature. If Anne is not willing for you to have one of her Cockapoos I would try Jukee Doodles – a lot of their pups are on here and whilst they have a long waiting list they’re very good at providing advice and helping people choose a Cockapoo whose nature is perfect for their individual situation. They also sometimes have older dogs available to the right homes. 

Regarding our concerns:
-	‘Looking for advice on how to get over my anxiousness about puppyhood’. I would set up a strong support network – this forum is great, find a breeder who will support you through the early days, ensure all your family are on board and find a local puppy course and start as soon as you can. Start walking in your local parks so that you can meet other dog owners. Puppyhood is hard but it’s not impossible – if you’ve successfully raised three children it should be a breeze in comparison! 
-	As for cuddles… I think it’s nonsense not to cuddle your dog. We cuddle Saffi ALL THE TIME and she still knows who is boss!!! I’ve included some ‘Saffi cuddle’ pictures to put your mind at rest. 
-	Re the time alone. As others have mentioned try to coordinate getting the puppy with your school holidays so that they can become accustomed bit-by-bit to being alone. Failing that ask a neighbour, family member or pay a dog sitter to visit the puppy in the early days breaking that time up. 
-	Like you I had worries that we’d get a puppy with loads of behavioural issues. You must remember that books like Gwen Bailey’s ‘The Perfect Puppy’ cover EVERY eventuality. Of course every puppy has its own temperament but when you bring a puppy home at eight weeks they will, in some ways, be a blank slate – how YOU raise them will determine how they develop. It’s good to be aware of the potential issues that you might face but not to be overcome by them. 

It sounds like you’ve had a difficult journey so far what with having to rehome the rescue dog. I hope you find the right breeder and wish you the best of luck.

Turi x


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Thank you all again for the great advice.Turi it's nice to know I'm not the only crazy one out there  I have been walking a ladies beagle for the last 5 weeks and keeping her with me in the day which has been good. My sister suggested it but although it is good it is not the same as having my own.I miss her when she goes back (
Karen my older 2 are fine and my youngest is the type that will always want my attention.I can see him being at home when he's 30 ) 
XC


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Thank you Lisa it's nice to know others have felt like me.I hate my brain sometimes )


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## anndante (Oct 26, 2011)

I'm yet another one who has suffered from anxiety and sometimes depression since a child. Most of the time I have it under control and lead a normal life but it flares up every so often and makes life difficult. Had a horrendous flare up two years ago which took nearly a year to get back to normal from. Not having had such a bad one since my father died 10years ago, it came as a shock. So I sympathise.

I have had dogs nearly all my life, but had a gap of nine years before getting Polly last year. We were all working and I was travelling a lot, so it didn't feel fair to get one after our last one died. But it is lovely having Polly. Although she is a tie and my travels have been somewhat curtailed - or should I say amended! - it is pure joy to walk with her on beaches, the moors, etc. She is such a pure bundle of joy! You have to smile when she is around!

Yes, having a young puppy is stressful, but everyone finds that the case! Just look at threads on this forum! And like everyone else I went through a stage with her when I wondered if I'd done the right thing! But it gets better. Just remember that! I had even more stress added when I tore my calf muscle when she was 5 months old! I wouldn't advise it! I couldn't walk her for six weeks.  It made life difficult. But she and I both survived, although with my husband and son walking her, training went out the window during that time! 

Just remember to relax and enjoy every minute. Even the problems with toilet training will get better, although for a while with Polly I did wonder if that would ever be the case! It seemed like two steps forward and four back! They are only little for a very short time and it is a special time. Now Polly is 9 months old and we are so close. And I can't count the number of times she makes me laugh out loud in a day! And do cuddle your puppy. It's very relaxing and so nice!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


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## colpa110 (Jul 5, 2011)

What a lovely post Ann - l'm so glad Polly brings you such joy - thanks for sharing your experience.


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

How do I know if the breeder is ok or not.I have found an advert in the Friday ad for 8 week old cockapoos they have the mum and the dad is pra clear.They say they have been well socialised.The owners are willing to hold on to the pups until they have had both vacs as long as I put down a deposit.Does this sound ok?
xC


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## loriwass8803 (Jan 15, 2012)

*Getting Ready for your puppy*

Hi Clare,

I've stumbled across some free downloable PDFs that you might find helpful. http://www.dogstardaily.com/free-downloads

We made the decision late last year about getting a puppy and have had some similar poor experiences in the past. The Gwen Bailey book is also excellent.

We will be bring our boy home around May 11th.


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## zed (Jan 20, 2012)

Hi,

Ohh I too suffered from anxiety and had frequent panic attacks in my teens and early twenties (it's getting more common amongst people these days!!) however I got it more so when my son was born, along with OCD's etc.. I was lucky as I could see the signs and got help and it was only a case of baby blues. 

When I got our pup Jarvis I was smitten, also not naive, as I knew it was going to be hard. I must say the first week was so hard, sleep deprivation and worry. Worry as because he cried all night (non stop one night!,) I thought I was causing him huge stress and anxiety problems for the future . I literally broke down to the vet nurse who assured me to leave him and he will be fine. I was doing the right things, radio on, crate covered, blanket smelling of mum and litter and of me, radio low. I was told to use ear plugs however kept taking them out to see if he was still barking lol!! I was anxious about noise getting to my neighbours (another thing to consider). I tried to hide my worries as like children they pick up on everything!!

However, when I cuddled my bundle of fluff and looked into his eyes my world seemed a brighter place.

It is like having another child, cleaning up after constant, but like children they grow and blossom and the sleepless nights don't last long and the toilet training does get easier.

You just need to be prepared for the stress of the first few weeks (or months) as you may suffer, as I did, the 'puppy blues' 

I also work in a pre-school few hours in the morning mon to fri term time. For the first few weeks I hired a pet sitter for an hour to split the morning £6 a day then I had this half term so I am hoping he will be ok after that. maybe try to aim for the summer holidays, without the rush of getting kids ready for school and you can be around to give them the attention they need in the first few weeks. Also will be less impact on your tiredness, as anxiety breeds from it. 

saying all this they are so worth it.. without support of my vet and the guys on this forum I Would have worried more. You are not alone, big or small someone on here, or somewhere, is going through the same  I really couldn't be without him xx




---
I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?0ll1kl


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Thank you I think because I associate my last bad attack with our last puppy I feel it is going to happen again however I don't feel I can move on or feel complete if I don't succeed at the one thing I have always wanted.I realise that I have lost the trust of my family and friends because of my past history with dogs and I now feel a bit embarrassed to ask for their help
XC


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## JoJo (Mar 2, 2011)

Ann & Zoe lovely to read your real life experiences ..

Chumpheys dont be embarrassed to ask for help, if a puppy is your dream and something you truly want, I am sure you will and can make this happen, just be realistic and ask your breeder and family for help and support .. the first few weeks will be full on.


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

Chumphreys said:


> How do I know if the breeder is ok or not.I have found an advert in the Friday ad for 8 week old cockapoos they have the mum and the dad is pra clear.They say they have been well socialised.The owners are willing to hold on to the pups until they have had both vacs as long as I put down a deposit.Does this sound ok?
> xC


Can you share the link?


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## designsbyisis (Dec 27, 2011)

Chumphreys said:


> Thank you I think because I associate my last bad attack with our last puppy I feel it is going to happen again however I don't feel I can move on or feel complete if I don't succeed at the one thing I have always wanted.I realise that I have lost the trust of my family and friends because of my past history with dogs and I now feel a bit embarrassed to ask for their help
> XC


It is sometimes difficult for people to really understand if they've not been there. Explain how you feel & I guarantee that true friends will try to understand & help. Never feel embarrassed to ask for help. 

Also as soon as you take your bundle out for walks you will receive moral support from all the lovely dog owners you meet - all of whom will want to cuddle pup. 

And the help here is fantastic - without fail I have had answers & help whenever I've asked. Cyber-friends are super


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

*Link*

http://m.friday-ad.co.uk/dartford/p...or-sale/cockapoo/cockapoo-pups-both-YI211IFFE


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Just speaking to everyone on here is making me feel better and more confident already.I just really really don't want my anxiety to stop me from having what I have always hoped one day I would have the chance to experience )


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## RoxiesMomma (Mar 13, 2012)

I've actually been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and it was definitely a challenge for me in the beginning with Roxie. This is my first dog and I don't have any kids so I wasn't quite prepared for the life change so the first month or so was hard for me and I think I had a little "post puppy depression". Now with all that being said, things have definitely changed. Roxie is the cutest and well behaved pup!! I've had to work since day 1 with her so she's been able to hold her pee for at least 5 hours since 8 weeks old. We did a 6 week puppy class and she picked up the skills very quickly. From what I've seen and heard about other pups, cockapoos are the way to go. I think you can do it but maybe get one 12 wks or older if you want to bypass some of the puppy stage....


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

Chumphreys said:


> http://m.friday-ad.co.uk/dartford/p...or-sale/cockapoo/cockapoo-pups-both-YI211IFFE


If you Google 'Cockapoo Puppies for sale Dartford' then more ads for these puppies come up including this one http://www.gumtree.com/p/pets/cockapoo-pups/100167827 which has a lot more pictures. 

It looks like Mummy is a show Cocker... It would be worth calling them and checking the age as (and I may well be wrong) in one of the pictures the puppies look a bit big to be nine weeks old. Or perhaps they're just a chucky, healthy litter!

I'd ask to see the PRA certificate too


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Thanks Turi.We phoned last night and they seem like nice people.The pups are apparently raised indoors,this is the first litter,mum is 3 years old,they have been wormed, they are willing to hold on to her until she is 12 weeks and get her jabs done,they don't have had but they do have photos and the man said that although they have done no health testing a lady that has had a puppy has had the puppy tested and it is clear ?? If she is still there tomorrow then we are going to have a look. How would I know if they are older than he says? 
XC


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

I’d steer clear… either the Poodle sire is PRA tested or it isn’t! Their advert says that it is so to backtrack on something so important is a bit fishy. 

Also, if you are going to get a puppy at a later age (i.e. 12 weeks) you want to be 100% sure that the owners will socialise the puppy in the way you would if you brought him/her home at eight weeks. This would include but not be limited to:

- Car rides
- Walks in the park
- Older dogs
- Other puppies
- Children
- The vet
- Being bathed
- Loud household noises
- etc

That’s not to mention the important training that takes place in the early days – housetraining, general manners, walking well on the lead. 

I love the early days with Saffi… although they were stressful they were vital for bonding and also getting her used to our lives, our household rules and our routine.


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Kay did you just leave Roxie From day one,Did she bark at all.I am just worried about a pup making a lot of noise for the neighbours or developing separation anxiety
XC


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Turi I'm confused.Some are saying to go for a slightly older pup to avoid some of the things that would make me anxious and you are saying not to go for an older pup.?
XC


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Shall I ask about why the ad says they are and then he said they aren't.I think another problem is is that I am quite restricted by the price.Because of my past history and the fact that we parted with £250 for the rescue dog my hubby is only willing to spend £500.


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Turi I have re read the ad and I think what he means is that the dad is pra clear but that he has done no health tests himself?
XC


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

I may be wrong but there is no way of knowing if a dog is PRA clear unless they have the test themselves. Someone else might know more about this…? JoJo is good on health testing! 

Re the price… paying less for a dog is a false economy long-term. If you get a dog from parents that haven’t been health tested then later down the line you may end up paying more in vets bills. 

I hope this doesn’t come across in a harsh way but why don’t you wait until you have a higher budget to play with? The early days in themselves are expensive – Saffi's puppy classes were £100, her second jab cost around £50 and then her worming and flea treatments came to £40… then she had to have her anal glands expressed which cost £30. 

This doesn’t include the cost of a crate, food, toys… believe me, it all tots up.


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## designsbyisis (Dec 27, 2011)

Don't forget though that prices vary across the country. Our jabs have only been £25 each time. 


---
I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?yfuie1
Sent from my iPhone 
Lisa - mum of 3 boys, Dexter Cockapoo & 4 hens !


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

No it doesn't sound harsh Turi and I have researched and made plans for such things as insurance,jabs etc.I have already got a crate,lead,collar,chew toys,books,bed,bowls,traing treats etc.Our puppy classes are £50.However understandably hubby is reluctant to part with £700-800 for what he calls a cross breed.He has always had dogs as a child and keeps reminding me that his parents only ever paid £100 for a dog ) I am really trying to convince him that they are worth it.
XC


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

It sounds like you’re really organised 

I can see your husband’s point of view but the cost of a ‘good quality’ Cockapoo _is_ justifiable. We saved and were prepared to pay up to £1000 for a Cockapoo 

-	Whose parents had both been hip scored;
-	Whose Poodle father had been PRA tested clear;
-	That had been raised inside;
-	That had been well socialised (our breeder doesn’t work so she is with the puppies all the time);
-	From a breeder who’d stay in touch and help if necessary after the purchase;
-	From a breeder that would be prepared to take the puppy back if there were any problems…

In fact I’d part with the money for any dog that had had this start in life. 

You may well find a Cockapoo or another dog cheaply but you might risk not knowing where they’ve come from, what health problems might be inherent etc… 

Hope that’s given you some ‘ammunition’ for conversations with you hubby!


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## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

Turi said:


> It sounds like you’re really organised
> 
> -	Whose parents had both been hip scored;
> -	Whose Poodle father had been PRA tested clear;
> ...


These are really good points Turi and things I have been thinking about when looking for a puppy. However, I have to say it has been very hard to find breeders, both commercial and hobby, that hip score the parents. I have only found 2 breeders that have said they do this on their websites. Disappointing when you want to get a puppy that's as healthy as possible. I still can't believe I have to wait another 3 months for my puppy. The waiting is hard!!


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## crazy lady (Jan 19, 2012)

Chumphreys said:


> No it doesn't sound harsh Turi and I have researched and made plans for such things as insurance,jabs etc.I have already got a crate,lead,collar,chew toys,books,bed,bowls,traing treats etc.Our puppy classes are £50.However understandably hubby is reluctant to part with £700-800 for what he calls a cross breed.He has always had dogs as a child and keeps reminding me that his parents only ever paid £100 for a dog ) I am really trying to convince him that they are worth it.
> XC


yes i agree they are alot of money,which is why you need to make sure that you do choose one that has had relevant health checks,(or parents have) and is raised in a clean happy environment because sadly lots of pups are not getting this care, and are still the same price!, it took me three years to finally decide to go for it, and get a cockapoo puppy, a decision i have not for one minute regretted, you only get one chance at life, to do all the things you want to do, but anyone considering buying ANY puppy , needs to think of the long term commitment, ,holidays, walks in the rain, i am not trying to put you or anybody else off, but dogs are life changing.


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

dollyonken said:


> These are really good points Turi and things I have been thinking about when looking for a puppy. However, I have to say it has been very hard to find breeders, both commercial and hobby, that hip score the parents. I have only found 2 breeders that have said they do this on their websites. Disappointing when you want to get a puppy that's as healthy as possible. I still can't believe I have to wait another 3 months for my puppy. The waiting is hard!!


Hi Eleanor!

How are you? 

After the Bushy Park meet which cross have you decided to go for? 

Which breeders are you looking at? 

Turi x


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## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

Hello Turi!

The Bushy Park meet was such a great experience for me, I loved seeing all the dogs. They were all gorgeous. Looking at pictures of cockapoos is one thing but seeing them in the flesh made the obsession even worse!

I am definitely going ahead with getting one. Have spoken to both Marleydoodles and Sylml so they could both be a possibility. Thirza of marleydoodles has been very helpful with answering my enquiries, the only issue i might have with one of her pups is timing as i really need to get a puppy in late july/early august if possible when i'm off for the summer holidays. 

I love the look of the american crosses more BUT have been put off americans having done research onto the health problems that some american cocker spaniels can face (more than english from what i can see). So then it's looking like a show/minature poodle cross for me!

Watch this space!

Chumphreys - I can totally sympathise with your worries, i am having them all the time! But the people on these forums have been great at making me feel more confident about getting a dog!


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I understand the obsession bit though… Marcus and I went to a meet six months before we got Saffi and it was torchure! 

Marleydoodles produce some beautiful puppies – there are a few on here. Benji (who was at the meet), Wynny and Oakley too. 

I personally have reservations regarding Sylml – I know some people have had good experiences with them but there was a thread recently detailing a very sick puppy and the Sylvia’s response (or lack thereof). Do a search for ‘Hope’.

How about Anzil – I know Anthony’s quite far in Liverpool but his show pups are just gorgeous! 

Or if you are interested in an American then there is DebbiesDoodles in Surrey…


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## crazy lady (Jan 19, 2012)

i have to agree i was put off the american crosses, as we owned a full ACS, a few years back, we had one health problem after another with him, he died at two from inherited liver disease, of course there are some healthy ACS out there, i just did nt want to take the risk myself x


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## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

crazy lady said:


> i have to agree i was put off the american crosses, as we owned a full ACS, a few years back, we had one health problem after another with him, he died at two from inherited liver disease, of course there are some healthy ACS out there, i just did nt want to take the risk myself x


Oh no, I'm sorry to hear about that, how sad for you. My british shorthair cat died last year, aged only 2, it broke my heart. She had feline infectious peritonitis, a horrible disease. This has made me very cautious when buying new pets. I want a dog that's as healthy as possible!


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## dollyonken (Jan 29, 2012)

Turi said:


> I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I understand the obsession bit though… Marcus and I went to a meet six months before we got Saffi and it was torchure!
> 
> I personally have reservations regarding Sylml – I know some people have had good experiences with them but there was a thread recently detailing a very sick puppy and the Sylvia’s response (or lack thereof). Do a search for ‘Hope’.
> 
> How about Anzil – I know Anthony’s quite far in Liverpool but his show pups are just gorgeous!


I read that Sylml thread with great interest! It did put me off quite a lot but if it was a choice of not being able to have a puppy this year and having one from sylml, I'd go with sylml. 

My dad will be driving me to get the puppy and i think a drive from brighton (where i will be living by then) to liverpool will be just too far for him. Shame.

My search continues!


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Well Turi I have been thinking about what you have said and I must admit that I have had a niggling feeling about the Dartford ad.I am going to work on my hubby this evening and then the search for a breeder begins.Can anyone recommend a good breeder as near to west Sussex as possible and who will be having puppies ready around June.I am going to go for it and I feel I should go for an 8 week old pup to get the best start possible.
XC


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

I've just realised my last post sounds a bit rude )


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## flounder_1 (May 12, 2011)

Hi there - I've only just caught up with this thread and must admit I haven't read all the replies. Puppies are hard work especially around young children but once you get past the 16 week mark they definitely get easier and it's great to see them playing together. 
Please don't worry about leaving the puppy for 4 hours while you work. That is certainly an acceptable amount of time for a dog to be alone. As you are a teacher don't you think it may be better to wait until the end of July to get your puppy so that you will have 6 weeks at home during the holidays to settle the puppy? It might also be advisable to see if you can find a good breeder with a slightly older puppy - maybe 12 weeks or so which might get you past some of the early toileting, biting stuff.
But most of all - good luck with your search, keep us posted, try not to worry and enjoy


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## DONNA (Jan 7, 2011)

I think if you find a good breeder and explain your cirmstances they will toilet and crate train the puppy for you up till 12-13 weeks,yes you will still have alot of hard work .

To be completley honest having a puppy has been the hardest thing ive done ! you need to be able to give them all of your time ,its like having another baby really they're needs come first.


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

DONNA said:


> I think if you find a good breeder and explain your cirmstances they will toilet and crate train the puppy for you up till 12-13 weeks,yes you will still have alot of hard work .
> 
> To be completley honest having a puppy has been the hardest thing ive done ! you need to be able to give them all of your time ,its like having another baby really they're needs come first.



Sorry Donna I don't mean to disagree with you at all BUT I would be wary of leaving a puppy with a breeder up to the age of 12/13 weeks. This is a very important time in puppyhood and during this time it is best to expose your puppy to lots of different things, places, noises, people etc. I doubt even the best of breeders would be able to commit the time and effort this requires, plus they will not know the situations that may be unique to your house or lifestyle and so will not be able to do this on your behalf. 
It is hard work and I am afraid there aren't really any short cuts but it is soooo worth it in the end. All the hard work, worry and stress melts away when you go on a lovely long walk with your companion


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## Pollypiglet (Oct 22, 2011)

Have to agree with Karen all the advice suggests pups are best to fit in with your family if you have them between 8 and 10 weeks the nearer 8 the better. Try Breeders Online they apparently have a code of ethics for their advertisers ie health checks etc. Must say I am not a fan of "free ad" when it comes to livestock as to me a good home is more important than a quick sale. It sounds as if you have a supportive partner so you won't be going it alone puppy blues happen but soon pass. You cannot erradicate all the issues but people with much less support than you survive so go for it and don't worry, nobody will die and it will work out in the end.


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

Chumphreys said:


> Well Turi I have been thinking about what you have said and I must admit that I have had a niggling feeling about the Dartford ad.I am going to work on my hubby this evening and then the search for a breeder begins.Can anyone recommend a good breeder as near to west Sussex as possible and who will be having puppies ready around June.I am going to go for it and I feel I should go for an 8 week old pup to get the best start possible.
> XC


Don't worry - didn't sound rude at all! 

I don't know of any breeders in the West Sussex area. In Kent, however there is Ian and Claire Smith (who we visited) who 'do' Working crosses. We really like their set up but they didn't have a pup ready within our time-frame. 

In Surrey there is Debbiesdoodles - she 'does' American crosses. 

Those are the closest I can think of but to be honest I think health and temperament should take presidence - this pup will be a part of your life maybe over 15 years! 

Good luck and let us know how you get on


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.I have sent out lots of emails to all of the breeders nearby on breedersonline (My hands ache now ) Quite a few have replied,many asking £900 which we just can't afford.A lady called Sally Ruane from Maldon in Essex has replied to say she has puppies due today or tomorrow.Turi I have emailed Ian but as of yet had no reply.Do you remember how much his pups were?
XC


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Woops not Maldon.Andover.
XC


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## crazy lady (Jan 19, 2012)

i know corrine o connor, in tolleshunt knight, has a litter of pups, i think about 4 weeks old now, we got murphy from her, lovely lady, good set up , pups DAD PRA test clear, we paid less than a lot of breeders are asking, look up benbela cocker spaniels for her number x


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Thanks crazy lady,
I have just been emailing Corrinne.She seems like a lovely lady.Are the puppies well socialised?
XC


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

I couldn't find a website or Benbela though?
XC


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## crazy lady (Jan 19, 2012)

yes puppies well socialised, murphy was already booked by some one who sadly genuinely had to back out, so he was nearly 11 weeks when we got him, corrine was a breeder of cockers first, but now breeds cockapoos as well, she has nt got a website as such, but we are very happy with murphy, there is someone else on here who has a pup from her, who told me how god she is, hope this helps x in the end though , you have to go with your own instincts x


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

Chumphreys said:


> Thanks everyone for the encouragement.I have sent out lots of emails to all of the breeders nearby on breedersonline (My hands ache now ) Quite a few have replied,many asking £900 which we just can't afford.A lady called Sally Ruane from Maldon in Essex has replied to say she has puppies due today or tomorrow.Turi I have emailed Ian but as of yet had no reply.Do you remember how much his pups were?
> XC


I think Ian's pups are around £800... not 100% sure


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## MillieDog (Jun 1, 2011)

Before you decide on a puppy, why don't you see if there is a Cockapoo Meet in the near future. They are often being held and they are a great way to meet Cockapoo's and their owners. You can have a really goot chat with the owners and hear all the pro' & cons to owning a cockapoo.


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## DONNA (Jan 7, 2011)

wellerfeller said:


> Sorry Donna I don't mean to disagree with you at all BUT I would be wary of leaving a puppy with a breeder up to the age of 12/13 weeks. This is a very important time in puppyhood and during this time it is best to expose your puppy to lots of different things, places, noises, people etc. I doubt even the best of breeders would be able to commit the time and effort this requires, plus they will not know the situations that may be unique to your house or lifestyle and so will not be able to do this on your behalf.
> It is hard work and I am afraid there aren't really any short cuts but it is soooo worth it in the end. All the hard work, worry and stress melts away when you go on a lovely long walk with your companion


I would agree with you also a puppy should be brought home at 8 weeks,however she said she was anxious etc about bringing home a puppy so early etc so as an alternative for her situation i thought this would be the best option.
I know a few puppies from JD that were'nt picked up until 11-13 weeks because of different reasons all this puppies have gone on to become lovely socialized puppies (Luna being one of them).

Yes in an ideal world 8 weeks is better ,but sometimes we dont live in an ideal world.


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## crazy lady (Jan 19, 2012)

DONNA said:


> I would agree with you also a puppy should be brought home at 8 weeks,however she said she was anxious etc about bringing home a puppy so early etc so as an alternative for her situation i thought this would be the best option.
> I know a few puppies from JD that were'nt picked up until 11-13 weeks because of different reasons all this puppies have gone on to become lovely socialized puppies (Luna being one of them).
> 
> Yes in an ideal world 8 weeks is better ,but sometimes we dont live in an ideal world.


murphy was a day off 11 weeks when we brought him home, and we have had no problems whatsoever, from first night has slept through, confident around other dogs, not phased at all by washing machine hoover etc, but i guess every puppy is different, and we already had a dog!


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## JulesB (Mar 6, 2011)

wellerfeller said:


> Sorry Donna I don't mean to disagree with you at all BUT I would be wary of leaving a puppy with a breeder up to the age of 12/13 weeks. This is a very important time in puppyhood and during this time it is best to expose your puppy to lots of different things, places, noises, people etc. I doubt even the best of breeders would be able to commit the time and effort this requires, plus they will not know the situations that may be unique to your house or lifestyle and so will not be able to do this on your behalf.
> It is hard work and I am afraid there aren't really any short cuts but it is soooo worth it in the end. All the hard work, worry and stress melts away when you go on a lovely long walk with your companion


I will have to disagree with you on this Karen as a friend picked up her 12 week old puppy from her breeder last week (work commitments of year end at the end of March meaning she couldn't take time off before April) and her puppy Rosie has been amazing. Yes the first couple of walks she was a little bit timid as she hadn't been exposed to the noises of a town before this, but she has settled in so well with my friend and nothing has phased her yet and she's been to the stables to get used to horses, sat outside Windsor Castle for the changing of the guards, been played with by friends children, had a day with me and Betty, met all types of dogs out walking (and played with them also!).

I know my friend was worried about getting a 12 week puppy but it really hasn't been an issue at all. Even with crate training she has settled so perfectly into using it even though she wasn't in a crate at the breeders. She takes herself off to her crate when she feels like it and this morning my friend had to wake her up at 7.15 as she was still asleep in her crate!!

So whilst there are pros and cons for getting a puppy at 12 weeks, please don't think it's impossible as it really isn't and there are definite benefits in that you can walk the puppy straight away.


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

I think it depends on the temperament of the puppy - we have friends who brought home their puppy at eleven weeks and at seven months she now barks at children, cyclists, runners... you name it!


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Turi is she. Cockapoo ?
XC


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

She isn't actually - she's a sausage dog called Bangers  There are photos of her on my blog.


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## JulesB (Mar 6, 2011)

Turi said:


> She isn't actually - she's a sausage dog called Bangers  There are photos of her on my blog.


Lol my friend has a sausage dog called Banger! She also barks at anything and everything!!!!


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

What a coincidence! 

I appreciate it isn't a direct comparison and that many people have had no problems bringing their puppy home at 11-12 weeks however, the likelihood that Champneys will find a breeder who does all the right health tests, whose whelping methods she's happy with, who will have a puppy ready within her desired timeframe AND who will look after and socialise her in the way comparible to a family pet is unlikely. Just my opinion though and I've love to be proven wrong


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## Chumphreys (Oct 1, 2011)

Thanks Turi,I have decided to look into Corrinne in Maldon and Sally in Andover.Now I need to get prepared and have a game plan for such things as crate and toilet training.Any advice welcome) Turi how do you deal with toilet training and socialising an 8 week old unvaccinated puppy.I want to be able to take her to school etc?
XC


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

*Toilet training*Personally we decided not to use puppy pads and so spread vet bedding across the entire base of Saffi’s crate at night. She did have accidents on the first couple of nights but I believe that if a litter has been paper trained you’re giving the puppy conflicting messages by putting paper (or puppy pads) in the crate at night – i.e. keep clean in here but here is something for you to pee on if you can’t! Puppy pads omit an odour that encourages puppies to pee. 

We put Saffi in her crate around 10.30pm and ignored all crying. We went down at 3am to take her to the loo and then straight upstairs until around 6.30am. She cried A LOT on the first couple of nights but within a week she was willingly going into her crate at night and during the day when she was tired. 

During the day we took her outside every half an hour and stood still until she went to the loo. We said the word ‘toilet’ when she went for a wee or poo and gave her lots of praise. She did have accidents in the house – all puppies will – but we didn’t make a big deal or scold her. Puppies aren’t being ‘naughty’ – they just can’t keep it in and don’t always know the rules immediately. Make sure you clear up accidents effectively – if you’ve carpet downstairs then you need to use biological washing liquid – if the smell remains then puppies are more likely to return to that spot. 

We have a puppy gate at the bottom of our stairs. I feel you’re more likely to succeed with house training if you can always keep an eye on your puppy. And in any case our cats needed somewhere to escape to in the early days! 

The secret is to be patient and realistic – if you come to terms with the fact that there will be accidents in the early days you’re less likely to beat yourself up about it or panic that something is going wrong. 

*Socialisation*We carried Saffi everywhere. She came on the bus, in the car, to friends/family’s houses, to the vet, on the tube, to the pub, along busy roads, to the corner shop, we introduced her to friends’ vaccinated dogs, we washed and blowdried her, we vacuumed, we took her to a local school at the end of the school day, Marcus watched a noisy rugby game… anything that you’ll want your adult dog to be accustomed to I’d do as early as possible!


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## Turi (Jun 28, 2011)

*Toilet training*Personally we decided not to use puppy pads and so spread vet bedding across the entire base of Saffi’s crate at night. She did have accidents on the first couple of nights but I believe that if a litter has been paper trained you’re giving the puppy conflicting messages by putting paper (or puppy pads) in the crate at night – i.e. keep clean in here but here is something for you to pee on if you can’t! Puppy pads omit an odour that encourages puppies to pee. 

We put Saffi in her crate around 10.30pm and ignored all crying. We went down at 3am to take her to the loo and then straight upstairs until around 6.30am. She cried A LOT on the first couple of nights but within a week she was willingly going into her crate at night and during the day when she was tired. 

During the day we took her outside every half an hour and stood still until she went to the loo. We said the word ‘toilet’ when she went for a wee or poo and gave her lots of praise. She did have accidents in the house – all puppies will – but we didn’t make a big deal or scold her. Puppies aren’t being ‘naughty’ – they just can’t keep it in and don’t always know the rules immediately. Make sure you clear up accidents effectively – if you’ve carpet downstairs then you need to use biological washing liquid – if the smell remains then puppies are more likely to return to that spot. 

We have a puppy gate at the bottom of our stairs. I feel you’re more likely to succeed with house training if you can always keep an eye on your puppy. And in any case our cats needed somewhere to escape to in the early days! 

The secret is to be patient and realistic – if you come to terms with the fact that there will be accidents in the early days you’re less likely to beat yourself up about it or panic that something is going wrong. 

*Socialisation*We carried Saffi everywhere. She came on the bus, in the car, to friends/family’s houses, to the vet, on the tube, to the pub, along busy roads, to the corner shop, we introduced her to friends’ vaccinated dogs, we washed and blowdried her, we vacuumed, we took her to a local school at the end of the school day, Marcus watched a noisy rugby game… anything that you’ll want your adult dog to be accustomed to I’d do as early as possible!


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## wilfiboy (Sep 18, 2010)

So lovely that everyone feels comfortable enough to share such personal experiences in order to help others out. Puppies are hard work but so much fun, but like people say it quickly gets easier its like having a new baby and you are shattered. As for cuddles how can you not !! Im trying to post now sitting under two cockapoos.. cuts down on the heating costs though. Hope your searches come to fruition.
Unless Breeders Online have changed their criteria, not meaning to dis the site as it has its uses I dont think it has criteria as dogs on there are not all PRA tested and I know of one advertising at the moment that has had 3 litters in the last 20 months. You still need to ask your questions of these breeders and do your research. x


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## RubyCockapoo (Feb 5, 2011)

Chumphreys said:


> Thanks Turi,I have decided to look into Corrinne in Maldon and Sally in Andover.Now I need to get prepared and have a game plan for such things as crate and toilet training.Any advice welcome) Turi how do you deal with toilet training and socialising an 8 week old unvaccinated puppy.I want to be able to take her to school etc?
> XC


Hi, just to let you know that our Ruby came from Sally Ruane in Andover, she has four pups available for viewing this weekend, I believe at £800 each.

Totally different parents from our girl, Mum looks like a Lemon Roan



Ian


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