# separation anxiety



## jo_scope (Jan 15, 2016)

Sweet Louie is now 9-1/2 weeks old and has settled into his life with us fairly well. He is a very smart boy who learns commands quickly, loves to play and gobbles down his food, and just wants to be around us all the time.

The issues we were having with night howling and crying the the second and third nights after we brought him home totally resolved after moving the crate into the bedroom beside where I sleep.

Unfortunately, he is still having a lot of trouble with separation anxiety. Here's what I have observed:
- follows me from room to room, does not do this to my husband
- whines and paws at doors that separate us (bathroom for example)
- if I am sitting on the ground or couch beside his exercise pen while he is confined he whimpers mildly on and off, mouths the pen gently but is not so distracted he will not eat or play
- *if I leave the room or house while he is confined in his pen he screams and cries very loudly and insistently without pause for as long as I am gone, tries to climb and bite the gate, will not touch any toys or food even if it is past breakfast time, does not sleep or lay down in his crate, soils the ex-pen with pee and poo (not his crate)*
- so far no negative associations with "getting ready to leave" activities like putting on a coat, boots, etc- I am certain this is merely because often when we do these "leaving" activities we are almost always getting ready to take him with us to the back yard to potty

We have tried the following in our attempts to lessen his anxiety and fear:
- playing music composed specifically to comfort dogs
- Adaptil collar
- wearing out the poor pup with lots of indoor playtime (too young to go for walks yet)
- sitting in the exercise pen with him during playtime to build up positive associations
- clicker training to associate being in the exercise pen and crate with tasty treats
- slow desensitization, where we distract him with a food-dispensing ball or similar toy, and leave the room for just a moment (coming back to him when he is silent for a few seconds), trying to slowly work our way up to minutes alone with little success

Today is my first day back at work after taking the week off to be with Louie. My heart is in my stomach and I feel on the verge of tears. H texted me to let me know that the poor pup started crying as soon as I'd locked the front door. Louie will be by himself in his ex-pen today for about five hours. I can't possibly take more time off of work.

We will be attending our first puppy class today, and the topics are separation anxiety, house breaking, and leaving puppy alone- so hopefully we receive the help we desperately need.

I secretly worry that our two first nights where we hoped Louie would "cry it out" somehow damaged him and it's our fault that he is having so much trouble adjusting.

Please, if you have any advice or similar experience, please contribute what you know. I love this dog so much and to know that he is miserable and scared is making me so, so sad. 
:cry2:

ETA: we saw a vet last week, we bought the Adaptil collar at her suggestion and she didn't think Louie had any physiological source for his anxiety


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## Alinos (May 19, 2014)

OMG. I have no solutions unfortunately but my heart breaks for you and the wee one. Hope he settles down soon. 


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## Miss Lilly (Sep 12, 2014)

Hi and sorry to hear of the problems you are having. Its great that you are seeking help and there will no doubt be people on later with lots of experience who can give you great advice but I just wanted to say that at 9 1/2 weeks your pup is still very much a baby and only just getting used to being away from his mum and litter mates. It seems completely natural that he would be anxious being left on his own so soon. It sounds like you have tried a lot of different things in the week or week and a half that Louie has been with you but again, he is still a baby! He may be quick to learn but these things take time - sometimes months - to resolve (resolve seems almost the wrong word here as you are describing very natural puppy behaviour for his age). It worries me that such a wee fella is on his own for so long: he is doing the bulk of his learning at this age and needs your guidance, attention and love throughout the day. I imagine also that toilet training will take much longer if a young pup, who cannot hold his bowels and bladder for very long, is left for such a significant amount of time. 

It seems a huge ask to expect him to stay happily in his pen on his own for such a huge chunk of time. At nearly 2 years old, my dog is never, ever left for more than 3 hours. If I have to be away for longer then I arrange for her to go to a sitter or to friends. We built her alone time up very slowly over many months and whilst I am now sure that I could leave her for longer if I had to, I do not as I believe that that would be distressing for her. Please consider arranging for some form of care for him when you cannot be at home.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

They are extraordinarily pack oriented and sensitive dogs, some more so than others. The more they sense your own anxiety about the situation the worse it will be. If it was me I'd go the daycare route too, either that or find a puppy crazy stay at home neighbour to help you for the first few months. Rufus is fine left alone but he still follows one of us everywhere we go if he is given a choice.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

The following you around is the most natural thing in the world. My two Poos are 2 and 31/2 and still follow me everywhere. It's perfectly natural behaviour. He is way to young to be left for that amount of time. So you need to sort some help out. Good luck. Shame you can't take him to work with you.


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## MHDDOG2016 (Jan 2, 2016)

Have you tried something like this:
http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Pet-Lov...48635&sr=8-1&keywords=snuggle+puppy+heartbeat


I ordered one to have ready for when we have our puppy home. The reviews mention it is good for separation anxiety. Might be worth a try.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Breath deeply. Louie is a baby and he is doing very well.

Is H your husband and was he at home for some while after you went out - and how does he react when the pup is crying?

5 hours does seem like a long time for a pup to be on his own - but he will adjust to your routine with time, in the meantime is there no one who can pop in and spend time with the pup while you are out? Give him the opportunity to go out in the yard and feed him his mid day meal?

Personally I would not be labeling a 9 week old pup as suffering from separation anxiety I would just say he is a baby who is used to being part of a pack. I also would calm down on trying to train him in a multitude of different ways - his little head must be spinning. Just be matter of fact and calm yourself - if he is in his pen and quiet ignore him. If you keep going back to him you will keep stimulating him. Left alone and in a calm environment he will sleep - honestly, he will... He won't sleep for 5 hours though, not as a tiny pup.
Poo's are people dogs - mine still follow me around - and currently are one under my desk and one behind my chair (the collie is beside the chair) - it is natural for dogs to want to be with the person they love. And I love that they do too! They have even trained me to enjoy their company when I am in the bathroom 
Louie will get there. 
My advice would be - don't get stressed yourself and consider whether you can sort out someone to puppy sit Louie for part of the time that you are out.


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