# Desperate



## Nevey87 (Feb 4, 2014)

Hi there...my cockapoo, Archie, is 20 months old. We got him as a puppy and from day one he has been very VERY difficult. He is very very hyper and is not getting better with age. Toilet training him was awful...he had over ten accidents a day for months...this was despite the fact I did everything in my power to train him. (for six months I rewarded and praised when he went outside for pee pee) and he would be let out several times an hour(!!!!). He would get it for a few days then go right back to square one of peeing and pooing eveywhere. This has continued for a year or more. He will have a week or more of no accidents then start peeing inside again for no reason.

He has been neutered with no change. He has been to the vet and has nothing medically wrong. 

Since day one he has been crate trained but all along he has regularly peed in his crate. He has a comfortable bed, blanket etc. and toys chews and kongs if we leave during the day. Again he has been hard to crate train and he barked terribly for months during the night and still does sometimes. He is rarely left alone as im a stay at home mum, and when he is left its for a max of 4 hours every sunday afternoon whilst we shop. He is crated every night for between 4-6 hours He gets 40 mins to one hour walk every evening and twice a week plays with my mums dog. We have a big garden for him to run in. Before he is crated I always put him outside and make sure he pees or walk him....in fact I still praise him everytime he goes pee outside. 

Even if im a few feet away with my back turned for a second, he will pee everywhere. if I crate him, he pees everywhere, if I leave him in the kitchen with a stairgate, he pees everywhere, if I shout at him sternly he pees everywhere. Even on walks he marks like CRAZY and poos on average 4 times per walk. He gets the training for a few days then starts up again...I cant keep going through this as my carpets are ruined after a year and a half of this hell.

Everyone tells me he is the most hyper dog they have ever seen...he barks at everyone like crazy. Guests are terrified...so if we have anyone round I crate him and put a blanket over as soon as he starts going crazy....but even then he usually manages to get the blanket off then starts barking. Oh he has actually managed to chew 2 holes in his metal crate. Ive tried letting him meet our guests but he barks at them or pees over their belongings.

im at my wits end...im not sleeping well and some days I spend more than two hours cleaning urine mess. Even if I only crate him for 4 hours during the night he still pees in it.

My boyfriend loves dogs but has not bonded with this one due to the above issues. Im so desperate that im waiting for a call back from an animal home to see if they can rehome him. Ive tried so hard  The stupid thing is when he is calm he will do all the commands (sit ..paw etc.). He KNOWS he should not be peeing inside as when he does it he gives me a look and runs away from me. 

Any last advice before I do what I have never done in my life done before ( give an animal away). This dog is the source of so many arguements and so much stress. My boyfriend will not help me with the dog now and says if i keep him im on my own. I can never relax in my own house. I cannot devote any more time than I have. I cannot go anywhere for more than a few hours. None of our family and friends will look after him due to his hyperness. We put him to a dog trainer who owns a kennel for 3 days (this kennel had a huge garden for them to run in) and she even commented on his excessive hyperness and barking. 

Despite this I feel so guilty and have been in tears all morning. I dont believe on giving up on animals. Archie follows me everywhere and looks to me for everything. Ive owned dogs, cats, rats, hamsters, fish, rabbits etc. and have never felt this close to giviing up. Im now losing my patience with him. Help.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

How horrific for him and for you. This does not sound normal at all, it sounds like he has some kind of neurological impairment. In my opinion he needs to be rehomed with someone who knows he has special needs, someone who really likes a challenge, who is very experienced with dogs, who has time to train him and who will be able to afford to medicate his anxiety should this behaviour continue. Please be completely honest about every detail when you bring him to the shelter. Good luck.


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## Sassy (Mar 20, 2015)

Awwww, poor you, poor Archie. The problem sounds like Submissive Urination. Go here for some ideas: http://www.cesarsway.com/dog-care/housebreaking/15-tips-to-get-rid-of-submissive-urination  or find some other post about this topic.

It sounds like the biggest issue you're dealing with his the urination. I hope you've kept him in a non-carpeted area while this is an issue. The second issue is his hyperactivity. To me, an educator, this sounds like an issue with anxiety. Again, do some research on this topic to find some ideas on what to do. One very important solution to any or all of these problems is consistency. Be sure you keep up the same routine and even the same area for him to pee. 

For the constant barking, again an anxiety issue, you may want to spray a little cold water at him while in the crate. Or put some coins in that spray bottle and shake it. If all else fails, gently kick the crate once (enough so he feel it, but not some much that you have anger attached to your actions).

This is a difficult situation, but with patience and understanding, it's controllable.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

What do you feed him? I agree with all the above comments. He does sound to me like he is anxious and submissive. Poor boy. And poor you. You must be exhausted. If you feed kibble I strongly suggest you switch him to raw. It may make a huge difference to his hyperactivity. Give it a go.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

He sounds like a very worried boy and urinating when you shout will be submissive and due to fear. I would also dispute he know he should not as he runs away - he knows you are angry and runs from that, he will not associate him as weeing as part of that. Although you say he is crate trained, barking and weeing in the crate and chewing part of it sounds like he is also afraid of the crate so I doubt that is helping, does he go in the crate happily to rest?

What does his average day consist of? He sounds like a bright active dog who needs lots to occupy his time so I would be thinking he needs a walk at least twice a day, preferably with some free running to give him some better exercise. In the house I would also be using things like kong toys stuffed with food and scattering food outside for him to sniff out to give his brain and jaw something to do. I would probably not play lots of fetch games with him as they can wind hyper dogs up, things like hiding toys and teaching him to search and some training every day (positive reward based stuff) would probably help him too.

No aversive methods at all - he sounds anxious enough to start with so shouting will not help and I would also not use anything like water spray, rattle cans or loud noises. Diet is well worth exploring though as it could be contributing and can indeed make dogs hyper.


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

I can't give you too much advice, what 2ndhandgal has said sounds really good.

The only thing I can add is that my cockapoo Tilly (2 and a half) is full of beans in the morning until she's had a walk. She will find things to steal, paw at my leg, trot/run around the house. After her walk she's so much more chilled out.

Is there any way you could add a morning walk into his routine? Does he like to chase balls? Even 20 minutes intense ball fetching would tire him out. I realise this won't solve all your problems, but it could ease some of his hyperactivity. I know if Tilly didn't get walked until the evening, she would be much more hard work in the day!

I really hope you can find a solution xxx


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## caz3 (Mar 27, 2014)

Oh dear things sound bad for you all and Archie bless him sound to me like its became a bit of a vicious circle and you are all stressed and obviously he is picking up on this especially if you are getting no support ,you all need to be united in this and I wouldn't do anything negative with him he sounds stressed enough (and you ) can you possibly fit in a morning walk ??i know if Harley was to wait till evening he would be up to allsorts during the day ,also please try calm ,calm ,calm dogs don't actually need a lot of verbal communication they pick up loads on body language I know you probably think you have tried everything but I am sure it is worth another go before you decide to rehire him but if you must you will know best I wish you all the best and please let us know how things work out ,thinking of you x


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

Reading your post it is clear that you are upset, frustrated, stressed, etc. Despite the various good advice (agree with 2nd the dog is so anxious any aversive stuff - loud noises, water spray - will just make it worse. The truth is you won't be able to "fix" your dog. The change has to be with you, your boyfriend, the overall home environment. He is feeding off your emotions, probably making a hyper active dog into a hyperactive anxious dog. My two are much more sensitive to my moods and reactions than previous dogs I have had. So I have found that I don't just have to be careful of how I show my reactions but to rethink my reactions altogether. As others have said, you and Archie are reacting to each other and only one of you can break that cycle. If you aren't in a place/state where that can happen, then I think the kindest thing would be to rehome him. 


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## fabular (Oct 3, 2014)

Nevey87 said:


> Even if im a few feet away with my back turned for a second, he will pee everywhere. if I crate him, he pees everywhere, if I leave him in the kitchen with a stairgate, he pees everywhere, if I shout at him sternly he pees everywhere. Even on walks he marks like CRAZY and poos on average 4 times per walk.


First of all sorry to hear about your distress!

Don't shout at your dog when he has an accident. That will scare him and he wouldn't pee or poo next to you on walks but behind your back. Continue to praise him when he goes outside and quietly clean up after him if he goes inside. How do you clean the pee? The best thing is to use an enzymatic cleaner to get rid of the smell. 

What is his feeding schedule? Are you free feeding him, i.e. he has access to food throughout the day? That might be the reason why he poos and pees inconsistently. Give him only food in the morning and evening. Sometimes the brand of food causes the high pooing rate. Have you thought about changing to a different brand. 

Consult a different vet. Maybe there is something wrong with your dog and your vet just overlooked the issue. 

Have a look at this website: https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/house-training-your-adult-dog

Best of luck!


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Fabular thank you for that link. That was the best and most comprehensive article on problems with housebreaking I have read.


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## fabular (Oct 3, 2014)

You are welcome. 

I thought about something else. I have seen this bell: http://www.petsmart.com/gsi/webstor...001b2166becc&gclid=CMz97rvIgsUCFSxn7AodlAcALw. You can teach your dog to ring it whenever he needs to go out. 

Also maybe look into a private trainer. Maybe there is something else you are doing wrong and are just not aware of. I found dog school so valuable for that reason.

P.S.: Don't give up. You can do it! *pep talk*


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

I'm wondering if his brain and his body are a bit disconnected re the toileting ( like some children who wet the bed past the ages of 7) ....so have you thought of alternative therapy for him. Acupuncture for example, or Bowen. I think it would work on so many levels. Help to calm him and possibly join the dots for him too. It's worth a try.


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## Nevey87 (Feb 4, 2014)

Hi all...thankyou for your advice and sorry for taking ages to reply. This has been very stressful and taken everything out of me. To answer your questions..

archie only gets fed twice a day...we have tried many different dry and wet foods but many made him very sick so Chappie was recommended....this has been great for him so we stuck with it...he hasnt been sick since. I monitor his water intake and its definitely in the norm and not excessive.

Some suggested morning walks, I have tried walking him in the morning but this made no difference







He already gets one long walk a day which is about all I can manage at the moment as I have a young daughter.

I looked up ths submissive urination and in some ways his problems sound similar but think its more complex than that. He deff has elements of submissive urination but i honestly believe he is a very difficult dog to train. Believe me when I say we tried normal accepted methods of house training for many months. the frustrated shouting etc. started after months of hundreds of accidents. Anyone would lose their rag...some days I would spend over two hours cleaning urine from my carpets. Yes the shouting at him made him worse but thats not the root cause. 

Since I posted my whole family has been on board with all the suggested methods regarding the submissive urination and his barking etc..I have read a whole lot regarding this and have been following advice religiously. Thought we were having a better week...but archie does it again. He has been walked for over an hour today, had plenty of play, kong play time and ive even been doing obedience training today. We have been firm but calm, no shouting. Religiously following the rules..ignoring good rewarding bad...Yet tonight half an hour after his walk there is a puddle on the carpet....I only turned my back for two minutes to get something from the kitchen. He was lying in his crate and as soon as I left he must have got out to pee. ( i hadnt locked the crate as he had gone in of his own accord and it wasnt time for bed yet, so i trusted him enough...how wrong was i). I put him straight outside after the accident.

The above is typical archie. I think things are going fab but every week the peeing starts again...the amount of effort I have given this dog is more than I ever thought I would have to do. We have gone back to basics of toilet training more times than i can count. It has taken away so much of my time that i should of given to my daughter.

I have now realised that some dogs are just hard to train due to being so highly strung.....I cant keep doing this. Im so done. Tomorrow I am phoning back the dog rehoming centre. Ive been blaming myself for almost two years believe me. But ive tried everything...most people would have given up after a fews weeks.







Even when we left him with the dog trainer, she connented on how difficult he is. Me and my husband have had dogs all our lives and have never had these problems before...no one in our familys have seen a dog as highly strung as him. 

I now am strongly questioning where we bought Archie from...my partner knew the 'breeder' ...but ive since found out he is a quedtionable breeder so im thinking this has probably got a huge part in the problems we have had from day one. I realised very quickly that his behaviour was excessive....but I was confident it could all be sorted with training. 

Thanks for all your help. I feel so bad about giving up...but this isnt fair on anyone. Next year I wanted to go back to work, but how can I ever leave archie whilst working full time? its bad enough now...cant imagine how bad he would be if he was left home all day.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Please do not beat yourself up over this. Some dogs are born with neurological problems that can make them incredibly difficult. It is not your fault and it sounds like you have done everything you can for him. Your priority should be your family and no family should have to live with a dog that is not housebroken. Please be honest with the rehoming center about all of his issues, don't try to gloss it over. And please do not let the "no dog should be given up on" crowd make you feel more guilty. Life is too short to live with permanent stress, and that means for both you and for Archie.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Life is too short for such unhappiness. You need to be there for your family. You have obviously really tried with Archie. I wish you, your family and Archie well.


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