# Lurking didn't last long, feeling sorry for myself



## Cockerpoo (Dec 21, 2013)

It's ironic really. I defend another forum (and my right to link to it) and have been left feeling rotten after a thread on there 

Someone started a thread about cockapoos and how awful it is the money breeders charge for a puppy. It then evolved and became more about the ethics of cross breeding and the lack of health testing (which is something I myself feel very strongly about, hence I am struggling to find a breeder I am happy to use) 

I was calm and honest, explaining that I _wished_ there was a pure bred dog that I linked. That is would make finding a puppy so much easier, but no matter how much I research I _always_ come back to a cockapoo. I said how much I loved the nature of the ones I have met (apparently this is not possible, cross breeds can't possibly have any common traits, it's all a gamble ) 

The thing is it has just me feeling guilty and selfish. A part of me does find it hard to justify the price tag (KC registered dogs from fabulous lines are sold for considerably less money) and a part of me does worry that the breeders are just churning out F1's (there can never be a chance of a cockapoo becoming a recognised breed this way as we all know) 

*But* *I* *love* *them!* :cry2:

I have been telling myself I am doing my research and will only use an ethical breeder but it's still left a horrible taste in my mouth. This will be my first dog and I feel foolish and selfish, basically being accused of contributing to puppy farms as the demand for 'designer dogs' increases as people are prepared to pay so much for one, and when there are so many dogs needing homes in rescues too 

I am so sorry for this long ranting post. I really feel the need to get it out and this forum and you guys just kept coming to mind. 

Sorry


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

The debate between rescue vs.breeder and pure bred vs. cross bred is always going to rage on. You need to do what works for you and for your family and your new dog. There are many responsible breeders. There are also lots of very nice and knowledgeable people on here. 
I had a pure bred beagle. I got her ten years ago. I really did not know a lot about dogs or breeders. She was not well bred. She was not healthy and died young. 
When we lost her, I decided to rescue. It was a very painful and expensive experience. We were lied to about the dogs age, breed, behavior and health issues. I was ill prepared and equipped to handle him and I had to rehome him. He was so aggressive no family would take him and he had to go to a special no kill rescue for troubled older dogs. The guilt was terrible. I still cry when I talk about it, which is not often. 
So when I was looking for Jake I really did my homework as far as what kind of dog would work for me: size, temperament, ability to train and grooming. We met a cockapoo and we were sold. They are a good size, incredibly smart, good with kids, low shedding, no smell and don't require over the top exercise. 
If you are getting a dog that will be best for you, you won't end up rehoming. He will be well loved and cared for his whole life. That is what is important. What do you care what other people think of your decisions  you are the one who lives with them and believe me getting a cockapoo is an easy decision to live with.


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## Cockerpoo (Dec 21, 2013)

Thank you so much  I didn't realise just how much I needed to read a friendly post like yours.

I am so sorry to hear about your beagle and your rescue  in an ideal world I would love to rescue a dog but I have young children and would never risk it. I have a lot of respect for people that do 

I did argue the point that there are unscrupulous breeders for every breed and I stood my ground but I let a few posters make me feel rubbish and I'm annoyed at myself for that.

Thanks again dmgalley


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

Don't let silly people steal your joy. Stay over here with us. Yes we are poo crazy but we are dog crazy in general. There are lots of wonderful poo crosses. (Cavapoos are adorable.) Just find what works for you and then you can go about finding out where to get your new baby (be it older or a puppy, rescue or breeder,pure breed cross.)then post a ton of pictures!!!


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## Cockerpoo (Dec 21, 2013)

You've made me grin 

Thank you 

There are some ethical breeders out there, just hoping the timing works out for later this year. I can't wait to welcome a cockapoo into the family


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## dio.ren (Jan 18, 2013)

I have had a pure bred Golden Retriever and she came from a good place. All tested etc..and she ended up with cancer at 7 and had to be put down. It was devastating for me. I cried for months. I love Molly she came with papers and the breeder does testing. I don't care she is a mix I love her and she is the sweetest dog ever There are nasty people out there just ignore them.

Do what is right for you!


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## arlo (Mar 11, 2013)

Try not to get bogged down by other peoples opinions, you will come across remarks and narrow minded people thinking they are superior, which they are not, I am useless at counter arguments and always wish I could say the right thing at the right time. I was looking for a dog to love and be part of the family, not to put in a show cabinet, I have had pedigrees in the past, but didn't mean when I met a crossbred or mongrel I looked down on them, I love dogs pure and simple. Dawn Dudleys mum done a link to a really interesting well rounded article about this not long ago.

When you meet your puppy, and look in their eyes and known they are the one, you will fall in love like we all have and although these people will still annoy you, you really won't care


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

At the end of the day pedigree dogs were just as much 'designer dogs' - created by us to do a particular job like guarding or hunting or retrieving etc. Nowadays our requirements have changed and most people have dogs as pets not as working dogs. it therefore makes sense to breed dogs that fit in with this new purpose. In asking yourself 'which breed is the best for our family life?' you, like us, have found that it is the cockapoo. Friendly and people orientated/Good with children, good size, good energy requirements for a family etc. That is what makes it the right dog for us and it's as simple as that.

You are doing all the right things with research. A breeder who has put a lot of time in and done health testing and taken care of their dogs and your future dog will be priceless. This dog could live with you for 15 years so the right breed for your family and the right start from the breeder is imperative - whilst they might sometimes cost more than some other dogs, a couple of hundred pounds more won't make any difference over that length of time. 

Good luck in your search and I don't doubt we will be seeing some lovely fluffy puppy photos at some point


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Hi Cockerpoo I am glad you came back! I think I can speak for most of us here when I say we just like dogs period. I think in some ways some of us may be a bit like Cockapoos too, friendly, open minded and slightly crazed at times. 

We also have our priorities straight, some if us drove for hours and hours to bring our pups home and some of us found them at shelters. The commonality is that we all really love them, as you will your dog when you find it.


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## Critterluvr (Dec 8, 2013)

You just do what your heart tells you to do and don't worry about what other people think. 
There are people who are purebred fans, people who are rescue fans, people who are fans of certain mixed breeds...and all feel strongly about their "passion". Nothing is wrong with that, until they try and make other people feel guilty about not sharing "their" passion. 
I have had many different breeds of dogs and now I have a Goldendoode....I must say this mix is my favorite of them all! Adding a poodle to the gene pool of another nice breed such as the cocker or golden retriever just makes for a delightful "breed" of dog! 
We too had to pay an extremely high price for this mix but didn't have much choice in the matter and i don't regret it for a minute. At first I felt guilty for the same reasons as you but now I just feel that it's nobody else's business but my own. 
Someday soon I plan on getting a cockapoo as I'd like a smaller dog as well that's similar in personality to the goldendoodle. I can't wait!!!
I would just stay away from the other forums because that debate will go on forever.....


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

You probably keep coming back to cockapoos because they are so cute! As for all the other junk people may say, I just show the pictures of my poos and the poos on this forum. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

That happens EVERY time on that forum!!! Without fail!!!
Welcome back. Don't stress about the purebred nuts over there and stick to your guns. When you find a breeder you are happy with go for it. You have no one but your family to consider in your decision. You have to let other peoples judgments go over your head.


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## Cockerpoo (Dec 21, 2013)

I can't tell you all how nice it was to wake up to such lovely, thoughful messages 

Thank you all *so* much, I feel loads better. I was so excited before and it felt tainted but now I realise it's up to me if I let people make me feel that way.

I shall hold my head high and know I am getting the best dog in the world


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Welcome back! this forum is just so friendly and we all offer advice and support to others who love Cockapoo's, want a Cockapoo etc, it doesn't mean we don't love other dogs though, we don't tend to have many passionate debates, as you have discovered they can get nasty which is a shame when we should all love dogs anyway. I do have some understanding of how the pedigree world would be upset by the trend in expensive crossbreeds, in the show world a dog with a bad 'bite' (undershot/overshot) would not be bred from, and other things that actually have health implications - whereas a not very good example of the breed can be crossed and the pups sold for more, of course over exaggerating some pedigree's has done a lot of damage which has been well publicised. The cost is purely supply and demand so unfortunately if we want to buy one we have to pay the going rate. I don't have a problem with anyone breeding as a business if the dogs are well loved and cared for, all the correct health checks done and the puppies given the best start in life with good socialisation - that should be the same for all pups pedigree or crossbreeds, hopefully a good breeder will know about the pups that they are producing too so can advise you that the coats need looking after etc.
Going back to the pedigree v's crossbreed thing again, we all hate puppy farms and back yard breeders - we all wish there were a lot less dogs in rescue centre's, its a shame people can't put the choice of dog type to one side and get together to try to improve the lives of all dogs. Good luck with your puppy search. Oh and its nice to see high profile people like vet Bruce Fogle saying these crossbreeds are popular as they make such great family pets. I also like to point out to people that hearing dogs for the deaf have purpose bed cockapoo's as they are so good with people and clever.....sorry, going on a bit...!


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## Cockerpoo (Dec 21, 2013)

You're not going in at all! All made perfect sense to me 

Absolutely agree that it seems it turns nasty when talking about crossbreeds. Sadly I think people feel braver (or are more cowardly, depending on which way you look at it ) and can be quite vicious on an anonymous forum. 

So sad, I would hate to think I had upset someone like that. 

I am back to feeling OK with my decision. I know I will buy from a decent, caring breeder and I know I will have the dog of my dreams 

(Please remind me I said this when I am sobbing into a glass of wine during the puppy stage ) 

Thank you all again, so much


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Welcome back.
Dogs are wonderful, whatever their shape, size, colour or background. Even the sickly, badly bred, abandoned and abused - after all, it isn't their fault is it. Some people though...

However, Cockapoo owners appear to be wonderful people with similar temperaments their dogs 

In the end what you pay for your pup is between you, your bank manager and the breeder. Even if you pay a heck of a lot (and more than you thought you wanted to) the years of love, fun and joyful companionship that your dog will give you will still be good value. As I see it the purchase price of your pup is a one off payment. I have been lucky to have owned some wonderful dogs over the last 26 years and not one of them (pedigree, crossbreed, rescue) do I resent the associated initial cost, feeding costs, replacement of damaged household items or vet bills. I've been so lucky to have each and every one of them. And I'd pay double to have them again if I could

Enjoy your puppy search and I hope you find a breeder who is wonderful and who meets every criteria you have set. Keep us informed.


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## Cockerpoo (Dec 21, 2013)

To be honest, the money isn't the issue. I knew how much cockapoo's were when I started looking and my view was, look what we pay for a holiday, this is going to be a member of our family! 

I think it was more the fact it was suggested that because I was willing to pay the price I was contributing to BYB 

But luckily, after a couple of days of feeling rubbish about my decision I posted on here and feel lots better already  

Oh the irony of defending them and then being made to feel like rubbish. I should have stuck to the cat forum, much calmer


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

Cockerpoo said:


> To be honest, the money isn't the issue. I knew how much cockapoo's were when I started looking and my view was, look what we pay for a holiday, this is going to be a member of our family!


This is what I think! When you think how much some other things cost it seems like not very much!


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## wellerfeller (Jul 12, 2011)

They did make a rule about people bashing crossbreed owners but I guess that a rule they don't enforce!
I'm glad posting on here has made you feel better.
Good luck in your continuing search!


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## Cockerpoo (Dec 21, 2013)

wellerfeller said:


> They did make a rule about people bashing crossbreed owners but I guess that a rule they don't enforce!
> I'm glad posting on here has made you feel better.
> Good luck in your continuing search!



Thank you 

No I don't think they do I enforce it unfortunately. Never mind, I shall let them get on with it


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

The truth is unless you have a cockapoo, you just don't really know. I love all dogs, cats, all animals in fact. It just happens the animals I choose to have are not pedigree, my dogs or cats. It's no one else's business, I love my animals and they love me. 

Funny though that I was reading about "hybrid vigour" and google came up with this page which made me laugh, the authors first example was a cockapoo and I had to laugh at the description; particularly the coat description. Back to my theory, unless you have a cockapoo, you don't really know!

The link is below, please note, it's not a good source of info, good for a chuckle though..

http://www.divinecaroline.com/life-etc/pets/good-bad-fluffy-best-and-worst-dog-hybrids

Oh and I reckon the labradoodle pic is actually a cockapoo!!


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## Lottierachel (Mar 3, 2013)

RuthMill said:


> The truth is unless you have a cockapoo, you just don't really know. I love all dogs, cats, all animals in fact. It just happens the animals I choose to have are not pedigree, my dogs or cats. It's no one else's business, I love my animals and they love me.
> 
> Funny though that I was reading about "hybrid vigour" and google came up with this page which made me laugh, the authors first example was a cockapoo and I had to laugh at the description; particularly the coat description. Back to my theory, unless you have a cockapoo, you don't really know!
> 
> ...


Haha - very mellow. Requires no special grooming. How very accurate...... Not!

Welcome back Cockerpoo  I'm glad you've seen the light! Xx


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## theaccessman (Mar 12, 2012)

Xxxxxxxxxx


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## Cockerpoo (Dec 21, 2013)

They 'labradoodle' does look like a cockapoo! (says she who doesn't have one  but has looked at thousands of pictures ) 

But yes the melt your heart bit is spot on, certainly for the poos that I have met


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

I don't know... some synonyms for mellow are: easy-going, tolerant, amicable, amiable, warm-hearted, warm, sympathetic, good-natured, affable, gracious, gentle, pleasant, kind-hearted..

They are all of these things!

In terms of mellow being laid back, Gandhi is definitely like this at home.. Apart from when we have people round!


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