# Family fed up with puppy



## tobee777 (Nov 10, 2014)

All the rest of my family are fed up with Stanley, my cockapoo. He is 19 weeks and still very bitey and likes to hump a lot and jump at us sometimes drawing blood. I'm his main carer. I've read loads of info about puppy behaviour specifically biting etc. the rest of my family think his behaviour should have improved by now but I think he is right in teething stage right now and anyway why should it be easy? 

My main thing is still bite inhibition. I'm trying to teach it, particularly Ian Dunbar but can't really say we are ready for stage 2 yet, even though I've been trying to teach him for nearly 10 weeks. 

I find it hard to get my family to agree to be consistent with him. They often shout at him (I have occasionally done so too). We would never hit him btw. But as soon as we shout I know it is entirely the wrong way as he gets more wound up and seems to feel defensive (don't blame him) and think we are just teaching him to "shout"back at us.

I keep saying it will get better but I don't think my family believe me.

Unfortunately, he is mostly in our living room (with crate and baby gate) as this is his safest, warmest place in our house. So the rest of the family can't feel relaxed in there. 

I would get in a behaviourist but think this is still too early. Any thoughts?


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

I think it is sometimes useful to try and be objective and sit back and look at things from pups point of view. Most animals do what is rewarding and your pup is no exception - so what happens when he jumps and bites, swatting him away, screams and jumping around are all pretty rewarding behaviour for a puppy so will be encouraging him to carry on - having said that he is still very much a baby and will get there even if it does not feel like it right now.

Are you going to puppy classes? Good positive classes can be a huge asset both to teach you and also reassure you that others are having the same problems.


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## Datun Walnut (Oct 15, 2013)

19 weeks is nothing honestly. You said it yourself - you all need to stay consistent but even then miracles won't happen right away. Our Poppy was 14 weeks when we got her and the biting lasted quite a bit after that. People say that poos are slow to leave the puppy stage and that certainly seems to be true in our case. 

We made a lot of very loud yelps of pain when she bit - it certainly helped in the long run but we had to make sure we did it every time. Your pup will come out of it but a lot of patient work will be needed. Good luck.


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## tobee777 (Nov 10, 2014)

Thanks for replies. We finished training classes just before Christmas but am carrying on with homework and may do more. 

I just really love him even though he's like this. Actually the rest of my family do too and show it when they've had a break. 

When my daughter came home from uni and met Stanley for the first time she played with him loads for the first few days but the novelty has worn off a bit for her. He really needs lots of games and stimulation which is fine but then he gets over excited and nippy in the end. I don't blame him but it's a shame when it's been going well. 

I try to divert him when's being "crazy" and do training sessions then to calm down a bit.

I also give him plenty of proper crate time for sleeps that are undisturbed. 

There's also a kind of unspoken training where we get used to him and he gets used to us.


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## tobee777 (Nov 10, 2014)

Ps I suppose my main problem is trying to get all of the family to sing from the same hymn sheet all of the time. Bring consistent takes a lot of effort for everyone, some days you're going to react more off guard to a nip than others. Then if things aren't progressing........


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

And breath.
Christmas is a very hard time to cope with family and pup too... And the weather is lousy and the days are short, all of which make it more difficult to enjoy the great things that a dog brings to the family.
Chocolate and alcohol may help in the short term. (For you not Stanley).
I think that i would move his crate into the kitchen. If it is truly freezing in there invest in a snuggle pup solid heat thing 

SnuggleSafe Pet Heat Pad with CoverProduct Code: 2265 - Petplanet have them on offer a the moment. 

They stay warm for hours. This way both your family and Stanley will get a break from each other.
How old is your family? Try and involve them - Lizzie was just 8 when we got Kiki and she was very much Lizzie's dog - 'who let the dogs out' was on CBBC - Lizzie was inspired to teach Kiki tricks. We used to play training games - Inzi and I modelling and Lizzie and Kiki trying to do things. It was a little frustrating for me, because I felt I could do it better, but for Lizzie it gave her pride and ownership. She learnt to pick up dog poo (practicing with bits of duplo). She started going for 5 minute walks on her own just round the block (such pride and independence) she'd smuggle Kiki up to her room and they would happily enjoy each other's company. Puppies need to be stimulated, loved and involved. Try to get your family to enjoy the pup.
If all kids are younger try taking all the cushions off the sofa and hiding treats and toys under them and then sit back and enjoy watching Stanley discovering his treasures. Go for torch walks all wrapped up warm, buy Stanley a flashing collar and a lead with two handles so smaller children can also be involved and feel that they are in charge. Maybe try clicker training - young kids can be really really good at clicking at the right point. 
Do you play the game with Stanley where you have a treat in the palm of your hand - if he tries to get it before you tell him 'ok' close your fingers over the treat and do NOT let him have it, once he backs off open your hand up - if he again tries to grab shut your hand again. Eventually a smart pup (which I'm sure Stanley is) will sit back on his haunches and look at you rather than the treat, at which point say 'ok' and let him have take it. If he grabs roughly, say 'Uhuh' close your hand over it and repeat the exercise - next time he sits and looks at you say 'ok' and 'gently'.... repeat until he is taking the treat with gentle lips.
Gently and ok are both words you want in your dogs dictionary!
Keep going, you'll get there.
If your kids are teenagers, Bribe them - money to walk dog, chocolate for teaching him to roll over etc... there are lots of you tube videos they can access for inspriation.
My kids love showing off what the dogs can do.


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

Oh dear and on top of all that you're trying to make sure everyone has a great Christmas but actually all the unusual comings and goings and excitement will probably wind little Stanley up even higher! 
I really sympathise, it's not an easy time and you're right, shouting doesn't help anyone. Do you keep treats handy?(just some of his normal kibble or some chicken maybe). The more you can reward the good stuff the sooner he'll learn and if he is jumping up or biting ankles/skirts/trousers etc then try scattering some kibble slightly away from you when you get up so you can walk unhindered! - lots of diversions like that will help and are perfectly valid, your response to him doesn't always need to be a 'correction' and it might help your family to know that too. Taking things away is a good idea too, it avoids potential and unnecessary conflict if you know there are things he goes for - we took away the rug for a few months because Poppy was fixated on chewing one corner. He has no idea of right and wrong, he's just exploring the world in the only way he knows how - with his teeth! I know you know that 

Ha, just seen Marzi posted while I was writing mine - was hoping you might get some of her excellent input


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

May sound silly, or it may of been mentioned above, but is Stanley getting enough sleep??
He is still very young and needs lots of rest In between all his play and Christmas mayhem.
Stick with him, he will grow out of it.
My (now 2 year old) has even got two toys from Christmas Day that he hasn't de-squeaked!! 
Like I say .... It takes time! X


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## Grove (Oct 17, 2012)

I actually would get a trainer to come round - the trainer doesn't train the dog they train the people! This is especially helpful if not everyone is on the same page. Things don't have to be in a terrible state to call a trainer out - it's just good advice on raising the puppy and can actually help restore balance and confidence before there's a problem. We went on a walk with a trainer when Gandhi was starting to go off lead and wandering off a bit and we got lots of useful tips and it built our confidence.

Also sometimes someone else coming into the house can have a more significant impact on family members learning things, even if you have been trying to implement something similar (think Supernanny!) The only thing is finding a trainer that is really good and definitely that uses positive reward based training. It sounds like it might be worth doing something like this to bring something positive to it, they could suggest ways for other family members to bond with stanley. If they are getting fed up with him he will sense their stress. (You already know this with him 'shouting back') I find that Gandhi is such a mirror of my emotions. Calm is always best and if you don't like something, don't shout but leave the room. Puppies want to be with you so leaving the room is far more effective than shouting. 

As the person above says I'd wonder if he's getting enough sleep/rest. The signs of overstimulation can mistaken as under stimulation and they just end up running on adrenaline and not being able it control themselves. They also find it hard to regulate their own rest times when they are young in particular so you may have to be mindful of providing quiet times for him where he can have a rest uninterrupted. Gandhi was always more challenging in the evenings and this is because the living room was where everything was going on and also he was worse when he needed a poo!


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## tobee777 (Nov 10, 2014)

I think the catalyst for yesterday was that we visited a younger, very well behaved quite shy puppy . Stanley stayed at home. However, we got home and we decided the other pup was too good. But by the end of the evening my husband called Stanley a psychopath (joke I think). I called Stanley is a rock star type of puppy ( he looks like Ronnie Wood with his black fur) . The family have to trust me when I say Stanley will improve and being a first time dog owner (can you tell?) I just have to trust that he will! 

Many thanks for your suggestions which I will think about very carefully.


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

I think Fairlie raised the point that as puppies Cockapoos can be very trying - a combo of two smart but late maturing dogs! Poppy was definitely a rock chic wild child - one of our older relatives said there was 'something wrong with her' that he'd never seen a dog so hyper and in need of attention (but then it was probably 50 years since he had a family dog and time is a great memory eraser!) He then poked his walking stick near her and shouted when she was chewing the rug - it took about a year for her to stop barking at people with sticks - so yes, I understand your feelings. It all quite upset and worried me at the time because we were finding it hard ourselves and having arguments, which we don't normally 
Hang on in there, it's your first time and you're doing it right - come on here and vent your worries and frustrations


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## tobee777 (Nov 10, 2014)

Just had some pre nap lovely cuddles and little biting with Stanley. I said "wouldn't it be lovely if he could pack in the biting now? See how good it would be?" He said that no, he didn't agree.


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

Was I incredibly lucky with my two? We really didn't have the biting. They tried at the begining but we never screamed, or jumped we were all very, very calm. The other thing we never used was a crate. Both max and Phoebe would spend most of the day with me. In the kitchen if I was cooking, in the lounge on my lap....a lot, in the bathroom, in the bedroom and if I wasn't around, they were with Steve. I did spend a lot of time cuddling them whilst they slept during the day. I basically treated their needs as greater than my own and in exactly the same way as a human baby. They got lots of sleep and masses of attention. I do think crates prevent your pup from fully being with you and must be quite frustrating for them. ( just my opinion). I can see how hard it is though if consistency is difficult.


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

Do you socialize Stanley with other dogs. I tried to be consistent but that was hard even with just me. Having Lexi and Beemer teach each other was the best way each of them learned. I'm dog sitting my friends dog who did not learn bite inhibition as well as my two. He doesn't break skin but I've stopped treating him because it actually hurts. My two have incredibly soft mouths. Even when my little nieces and nephew give them treats they take it every gently from them. I attribute most if that from the learning they got from each other. It does get better. Think what is better now than before and that will help with perspective. Also celebrate even the smallest gains. 


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## tobee777 (Nov 10, 2014)

Hi. Yes, Stanley socialised at dog training class and I've arranged for him to meet other dogs of my friends and intend to keep it up. I also encourage him to interact with other dogs he meets on walks for good measure.


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

tobee777 said:


> Hi. Yes, Stanley socialised at dog training class and I've arranged for him to meet other dogs of my friends and intend to keep it up. I also encourage him to interact with other dogs he meets on walks for good measure.



I would recommend finding a dog similar age or slightly older as well as maybe dog parks (go to small dog sections). You want them to be able to free play. That's when they teach each other bite inhibition and other good dog mannered behaviors. Interacting while on leash is good but limited. I would put money on letting him learn through monitored but unstructured play will make a world of difference for you. 

Also my favorite article on play fighting. Helped me understand when and when not to worry about my two. 
http://thebark.com/content/your-dogs-rough-play-appropriate


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## Florida Cockapoo (Aug 24, 2012)

They do grow out of it. Piper use to bit also, mainly me. She didn't do it with my husband. He is the "Alpa" for her. We happen to pick one of the more "aggressive and active" pups in the little. 

That being said she did grow out of the biting, probably I'm guessing at around 4-7 months. Now she just chews up her toys. She doesn't bit anymore. I did get her around a few younger and smaller dogs when she was a pup. 

The ideal of having a trainer come in the to help the other family members is not a bad ideal. Since not everyone is on the same page. And maybe even have other family members be involved in the care of the dog is good also.

I have to say my hubby was not as involved in the care of Piper in the beginning. He never had a dog of his "own" until I got Piper. He came around after a few months and now LOVES her to pieces. But in the beginning I felt it was more on me and that's hard. Hopefully you can get the rest of the family more involved which does help socialize the pup.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Stanley, Stanley, Stanley you are one very, very lucky boy. Not only does your mum already understand what you are saying to her, she is also keeping you warm at Christmas despite your rock star behaviour. Christmas is bedlam for an active pup. When everyone is back to school and work and routine is reestablished it will get easier.

In the meantime I'd keep him in his crate or on a house lead to stop the bloodbath. Tell your children it is like winning over the school thug or bully with kindness, once you convey to him that you are all on the same side it will be like one of those tear jerker type films where everyone lives happily ever after. See if you can find threads of Dawn's Dudley playing with his boy. He was a "rockstar" like Stanley, as was Rufus. They do come around, and when they do they are a ton of fun!


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## tobee777 (Nov 10, 2014)

Thanks for your replies. Fairlie, that made me laugh a lot. We also have a Rufus btw but he is my 15 year old (human) son.


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## tobee777 (Nov 10, 2014)

Spent last several hours reading old threads from others about biting pups and it made me feel soooo much better and lots made me chuckle.

Btw, just sitting on sofa on iPad and Stanley just jumped up onto sofa, skidded across the iPad with a ball in his mouth. Do you think he wants to play?


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

Ha! Glad you're feeling a bit better  iPad's are our poos worst nightmare aren't they, something that takes attention away from them


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Sounds very like Dudley was, maybe some of the old posts you found were about him, it really does help to vent on here! the good thing is your pup is at the age where his puppy teeth will start dropping out and that makes a big difference, adult teeth have more rounded edges, of course its important to carry on letting them know it is biting is wrong as obviously the jaws are stronger but it really does seem to hurt less when they are play biting, and it seems to be around the same time that it really starts to sink in with them that you do not like the biting so they do it less. 
It certainly wasn't overnight with Dudley but gradually you start noticing the improvement. Sadly I feel we had him as a young pup when the whole pack leader thing was at its peak so were maybe tougher on him than I would be now (although never cruel). 
Having said that we did get a trainer round who said he was a particularly 'cocky' pup! and even now he has his moments, he is still like a cocky teenager who can look at you and say 'or what?' - (and I have one of those too!) or maybe it is just being a 'rock star' as fairlie says!! the good thing is now he gets rolled on and around and hugged and puts up with it all, you can put a hand or foot in his mouth and he will just gently nibble.


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