# Adoption



## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

Hi Everyone,
So my husband and I have been looking at getting poo 2 as so many of you know....well one girl, 3 years old was being advertised for sale. I sent the owner a message just telling a bit about me and Lady and such. 
He was willing to wave his fee for her to go to perfect forever home. However. The dog is up for adoption because his marriage is splitting up, his wife whos dog it is left the country. She was told to pick the dog up in 30 days or he would have to get rid of her....well she didn't come and get her, so through tears the man is looking to adopt her out. he wants to see the home, and have updates monthly for a period of time of 2 years....not all seems ok, but my fear is....it's her dog, what if she comes back and wants it....would you stay away from this scinario?? it seems like I am walking into a heap of leagal mess to me....what does it sound like to you?


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## Tressa (Aug 31, 2010)

Oh Mo, How complicated, but what a great opportunity for your 2nd poo!It would be so great for this wee dog to have a forever home with you two and Lady. Surely it would be possible for him to get a written assurance from his wife that the dog can be rehomed? If she has left the country it doesn't seem that she is likely to be returning for the dog, especially as the deadline has passed. I like the sound of the man, who seems to be very anxious that the dog should go to a good home, but for your own peace of mind I think you need to be able to contact the owner directly, maybe by email or text, to get the reassurance you need. Surely the husband has some means of contacting her? There HAS to be a way to ensure all is legal and above board, and if not, I think you would always be expecting to have to give the little dog back and that would be an intolerable strain on you. 
I hope it all works out well, as I know this little dog would have a great home with you all. Warmest wishes to you and good luck!


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

Thank you! what kind words....I did ask if there was some way we could have a written document from his wife...and he said he hasn't been able to contact her....all seemed good.....except this one thing....and I do tihnk that if there was doubt in my head that she couldn't be mine forever then It would somehow not allow me to connect with her the way I would want...I think I will keep talking to him to see if there is something we can do to make sure it is all legal.


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi Mo, well it's very exciting as I know you have been patiently waiting for poo number 2 for ages! I'm not sure how a court would look at this if there were a problem in the future? As they are separating how does the court agree it was her dog versus his? Does he technically have custody of the dog as she has left and has the right to rehome her (the dog, not the ex ). I would seek a little legal advice and get something drawn up in writing. I wouldn't risk going through with this without something in writing as it would be heartbreaking if you had to give her back later on. Also, as much as I think they guy cares I'm not sure what the relevance of updates for 2 years is for? Why 2 years, why not 1 or 5 years? Just wondering? Perhaps just an update on how she settles is adequate. 

So, tell us more about her. What does she look like? Or would you rather wait until you know for sure?


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

I wondered why the two years too! why 2 why not the rest of her life...??

She is much bigger than Lady....and favors the cocker look much more. she seems sweet but I haven't met her yet.


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## JulesB (Mar 6, 2011)

What a difficult decision but go with your gut instinct. You'll make the right decision. As my friend always tells me "what's for you won't go by you".


Xxx


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## Sam1 (Mar 6, 2012)

This all doesn't add up to me! There's something going on here that he's not telling you.

I imagine she's left him, he agreed to keep the dog for her until she returns, maybe originally 30 days but now they have agreed two years and he's had enough, feels used and wants out. Maybe it's a threat to her, maybe this poor animal is being used as a bargaining tool? Do this or I'll get rid of the dog, and he knows hes doing the wrong thing and that's why he needs to stay in contact with you, knowing she will be back eventually......this stinks and I would not get involved...the last thing you need is her banging on your door! It could be the worse thing to do taking the dog......he knows it will upset the wife to know the dog is gone....he's getting at her by doing so......messy messy messy....don't touch it! He knows where she is, her family must know where she is, he could contact them and let them deal with this, who goes abroad and doesnt tell their parents or sister where youve gone???....er no one! ....they could take the dog im sure, theres more to this then hes letting on. It sounds like you've been waiting a long 
time for dog2......my advice keep waiting....Sorry not what you want to hear but I'm thinking of everyone Inc the dog! Xx


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## Sam1 (Mar 6, 2012)

My husband and I have just been discussing this and another point to bear in mind is he might send the updates and pics to his wife to be very vindictive.....please be very careful....X


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## flowerchild (Mar 21, 2012)

Mo--my rescue group has had this pop up several times. Usually it works out just fine, but we have had one spouse surrender an animal to spite the other spouse--and not found out until we've adopted the pet out. We have a document (legal in the states) that anyone surrendering the dog has to sign. It has a good bit on it, but most importantly gives us a legal release if a problem later arises. If you want a copy, I can get one for you. 
I hope it works out well for you and the dog!


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Molly was a private rehome and I met her previous owners and send them updates now and then. I did ask for and receive a signed letter from them transferring ownership to me and made it very clear that there was no way they could change their minds once she was mine. 

It has worked out fine for us and I have stayed in touch with no problem at all - I agree it does sound odd for the couple to have split up and to say 2 years contact. I would insist on formal signover to you and hopefully all will work out fine.


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## jaimebpa1 (Nov 8, 2011)

My gut instinct tells me no. Only because I can tell you right now that based on what you've told me about their situation I would not want them knowing where I lived. I know chances are nothing would come of it, but i have images of some crazy woman banging at your door demanding her dog back. I don't even know what legal rights she would have and you'd probably be able to keep the dog no matter what, but it's still a risk I wouldn't wan to take. I'm sure she'd have to hire a lawyer and spend a ton of money if she wanted the dog back and chances are she wouldn't do that. Any one who would up and leave like that doesn't really care about the dog.

Also I wouldn't want to have to give this guy updates. It's one thing for him to ask, but another for him to demand it. Our breeder asked me nicely and I am happy to give them to her, but once you have that dog it is your dog and you get to make all decisions regarding it. Including giving the previous owner updates. It either shows that he is a devoted owner or a total control freak. 

I always think of the worst case scenario and then make my choice from there. Chances are everything would be fine though. Just a risk you either take or choose not to take.


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## jaimebpa1 (Nov 8, 2011)

One other thing I just thought of. he said it is her dog, but what does that mean? Can she prove sole ownership of the dog? Or is it just "her" dog in theory. I think it would be very hard for her to prove that she had sole ownership of the dog and it wasn't his to get rid of. I have a check I wrote for Olive, but it has both of our names on it. I couldn't prove that Olive was just my dog. My husband could technically sell her. I say technically because I'd kill him if he did that!


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## RubyCockapoo (Feb 5, 2011)

Hi Amanda

I would think if you were to insist on paying the fee and draw up a receipt that you both sign, then all would be ok legally.

There is a good chance that it is all as he says it is. People do tend to be honest generally, meeting him should give you a goodor bad feeling.

Ultimately, up to you and your husband (and Lady)

Good luck

Ian


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## mandym (Jun 5, 2011)

This is a difficult one,part of me wants to tell you to take the dog,she would have an amazing forever home with you but it all sounds a little dodgy and i too would not want them having my address,what would happen if you had the dog and bonded with her then you were stuck in a legal battle when the ife anted her dog back.its also very rare for a woman to leave her beloved pooch and not return,a bit like a woman leaving a child although i guess it does happen.Just do whatever you feel is the right thing to do xxx


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

WE have thought about it all weekend....and we have decided, since we caught him in one lie.....he said something contradictory to the advert......we are not going to adopt this dog....like so many have said, it would be so hard to be bonded with the dog, and then to later have to give her back would be heart breaking. and I couldn't do that to Lady. So.....pooch 2 is on hold again.


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## flowerchild (Mar 21, 2012)

I'm glad the decision's made, and I think you were very smart--catching him in a lie would make me doubt the whole arrangement, too. 
Good luck in your search! If I hear of any cockapoos looking for homes down my way, will let you know!


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

Thanks Suze!


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

Ah Mo, sorry it didn't work out . Think you made the right decision though. So we'll both have to be patient and wait for the right time/right one. We'll start our own club called "Waiting for Poo. no.2"


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## ali-s.j. (Jun 6, 2011)

Sorry it didn't work out too Mo. I do you think you have done the wise thing though. :hug:


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## Sezra (May 20, 2011)

So sorry to hear that this didn't work out but it sounds like it is for the best. No.2 Poo is waiting for you somewhere Mo. xxx


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

Thanks Guys!!!! yes hubby is now hopeful that his "Choccy Girl" is out there somewhere.


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## wilfiboy (Sep 18, 2010)

Eventually when the time is right two very lucky dogs are going to live happily ever after with Lady and Obi x x


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

awwwwww....Thanks Karen!:hug:


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## jaimebpa1 (Nov 8, 2011)

Keep your eye on Olive's breeder's site because she plans on breeding a chocolate male once he is old enough. I'm thinking he'll be old enough next time she breeds. I'm sure that seems like a long wait though!


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## lady amanda (Nov 26, 2010)

lol....I will keep an eye for sure!! she has sent me e-mails before...so hoping that she stays in touch too.


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## Jedicrazy (Apr 26, 2011)

lady amanda said:


> awwwwww....Thanks Karen!:hug:


:iagree: thanks Karen x


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## Sam1 (Mar 6, 2012)

I'm glad you decided to wait....your new pup is out there waiting for you! That's exciting! X


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## LisaVonH (Mar 17, 2012)

i adopted a 4 year old westie as his family were basically bored of having a dog and were thinking of putting him down!!!!!! they were friends of friends so i took him in. 2 years down the line they asked for him back. i was amazed. if i hadnt had him and they HAD put him to sleep how would they have got him back then?! i said no way. they knew they didnt have a leg to stand on, and he was mine until he drifted over to rainbow bridge at 16 years old. 

if the dog is chipped, make sure they change those details on the day you take her, and then hold tight!!!! xxx


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## LisaVonH (Mar 17, 2012)

oh, i missed the fact youd decided not to, doh! sorry! good luck finding your new fur baby, like everyone says, she's out there waiting x


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