# Normal to find it difficult?



## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

I feel really guilty typing this but I'm finding it really difficult at the moment with my 6 1/2 month old puppy. I knew it was going to be a commitment and a lot of work, of course, but I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. Our pup is gorgeous and most of the time lovely but he does resource guard his crate and food and has been aggressive towards my husband at times because of this. We are having help by way of a 1:1 session with a trainer/ behaviourist but it's getting me down. That combined with the fact he's so over excited when people come and jumps up/ nips is hard work and it's impacting on our family. Sometimes he will nip the children- it's not aggressive, usually during/after playing but they don't like it, obviously. I long to be able to just open the door for a friend without it being stressful. He can't have a bed as he just rips it up or tries to get friendly with it so he doesn't settle with us in the lounge- just in the crate. He's getting more tricky at going in the crate even though I put treats in- he knows and hides under the table! I can't really go out and leave him out of the crate as goodness knows the mess I'd come back to!! We all love him dearly but it's harder than I imagined right at the moment. I know he's still quite young and know it's a tricky stage, I just want some reassurance that things will get better please and please don't think I'm awful!


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## Zoay (Oct 4, 2014)

We're only at eleven weeks so I have no sage advice but it sounds entirely reasonable that you're finding that difficult. Hope things settle soon.


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## Lindor (Feb 3, 2014)

First of all, you are not awful! You are a wonderful cockapoo mommy and you are doing the right thing by getting help by a trainer. I'm sure all of us have gone through a difficult time or two with our puppies. I would dearly like to open the door and have Maggie stay right with me in the yard but the neighbors yards seem to be more interesting to her. So they are not perfect all the time. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there eventually. Is your pup getting enough exercise mentally and physically. A tired pup is a good pup.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

He gets on average an hour and a half of walking a day spread over a longer and 2 shorter walks. He does seem tired come the evening and we find crating him gets him to settle (until husband goes near crate and he barks, sadly) I'm sure we'll get through it- I'm just exhausted at the moment!!


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Good for you for admitting how hard it is. I consider myself a very experienced dog owner and can tell you honestly we considered rehoming Rufus because he was so challenging. It sounds to me that your pup has still not discovered that you are all on the same team. I would fasten him by a lead to my belt and correct all his behaviours instantly. He should never be allowed to jump at anyone or nip the children, not even once. Praise all his good behaviours and keep him very busy, going places, meeting people, playing fetch on a line, training him and so on. Keep a good schedule and make sure he gets enough sleep as well. Once he gets the concept that good things come to pups who behave and listen to their families it will be so much easier. Until then keep the faith!


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

I completely understand your feelings and I think it's completely normal to feel overwhelmed! You've taken things seriously and are a caring and responsible owner but it's still a shock to discover just how much impact a puppy can have - they're relentless even without the extra issues you're facing. Keep the faith (and the wine and chocolate close by)


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## Cat 53 (Aug 26, 2012)

The trouble is you have a cockerpoo ( they consider themselves to be humans) and what they really love is to be with us ALL the time. That is why your boy is beginning to dislike his crate. He knows it's where you put him when you don't want him around. Can you get friends around that will ignore him when they come into the house. Have him on a lead next to you and really concentrate on this one task. Encourage him to sit nicely before opening the door, and to stay calm once your friend enters. Repeat again and again until he gets the idea. Tackle your problem areas one at a time in a like manner. Clicker training might help you. .


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## Lexi&Beemer (May 5, 2013)

It does get better. I also didn't let my two the run of the whole house as if I did not keep an eye on them they were quick to get into trouble (chewing up shoes, purses, rugs, etc). So I used the pen fencing to block off access to anything they could destroy or just placed it up so they couldn't reach it. Frankly removing things from their space was easier than trying to correct them. I bought a lot of different beds but realized they would chew them up so I quit doing that. But I wasn't sure it could happen but it does get better. 


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Thank you so much for your reassurance. I'm determined to make sure we get this right and that we end up with a happy, chilled puppy. We adore him so will just take it day by day an smile at the positives. I may well come here for advice when the going gets tough! it's a shame I can't tag people but just to say 2ndhandgirl has been amazingly supportive by email. I know you all know how fab she is anyway but wanted to say 'out loud'!


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## sugerlump (Oct 6, 2012)

she is right .poo's thank they are one of us and they are so smart you have to train them just like a child.your doing fine and when we get a new baby you just plain get tired it is what happens, take your time every thing will work out


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

It gets better, I promise and you will end up with the best dog in the world. Hang I'm there, remember when he gets it wrong it's just because he needs some more help/training/guidance. Enjoy him


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Today has been a good day. I was out all day and very nervous how it would go but I have to say my husband is amazing and is devoted to sorting out the issues, even though it's him that generally gets the difficult times. He's spent time making sure the times things usually get tricky go as smoothly as possible- he has played and spent loads of 'cuddle time'. Although he was growled and barked at first thing when putting the lead on, the next 2 times he blocked off time to play first and then pop the lead on so he didn't really notice- not even a growl. Food- he has been popping treats in an empty bowl every hour and had a meal time with no growling even when he got close enough to pop a treat in. Second meal he did bark when my husband put the food down so he left the room. He walked back in and was able to get a treat and pop it in with no growling. I'm so pleased that a) things are looking up and b) my husband is so dedicated to helping solve this


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Sounds like your OH is a keeper.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

What a great OH


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

I'm really glad that today has been a good day and your OH is being such a star. 
Here's hoping that with all the effort being put in there will be more and more good days.


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## axtenren (Oct 30, 2011)

Nice to hear that things are getting better. 
Remi is used to nip my guest whenever they come into my house. One trainer told me is to buy a kong and fill it up with peanut butter and every time you have guest give him the kong in his crate. And hell get it that everytime you have guest hell get a treat in his crate. He will automatically go to his crate waiting for treat when your guest arrives.


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## Yogi bear (Feb 25, 2013)

Hang in there, you're doing fine and your husband, oh my, think you could perhaps train mine! It's easy to concentrate on the negatives when you're tired but you've had a great day, things WILL get better, it just takes time. Keep going


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Well, things were good Saturday but last night he went for my husband again. Bizarre. Pup had the remote control which he has got hold of a few times before. He's never been possessive about toys or random things but he was sitting on the floor and my husband near him on the sofa working. I went to get a treat to swap for the control and he growled a little when I returned. I decided to get a better treat and got chicken. As I walked back in he dropped the remote and started barking at my husband for absolutely no reason- he'd stayed put and silent the whole time. My husband got up to walk away and pup went after him and bit him on the leg. Absolutely no idea why


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Oh no  hope your poor husband was not too badly hurt? 

I would advise husband to have as little to do with pup as possible between now and behaviourist visiting to let things calm down and otherwise try to avoid situations much as you have been up to now 

Just guessing but it sounds like pup has decided your husband is "the scary one" (and I know he has done nothing to deserve this at all) but to a pup already on alert and grumbling he may well have decided husband standing up was a threat too far. If he ends up trapped again I suggest remaining still and looking away and as disinterested as possible - instinct is to move away but in this case from pup on the floors point of view may have increased his worry.

I know I have been used as stooge human a few times for my trainer friend  and she was once working with an old lady and small terrier who had bitten several visitors to the house. I was sat in the lounge and at one stage terrier settled on the sofa next to me snuggled into my side  all looked very cute but I was pretty sure if I moved he would have bitten me


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

He's generally been good today but whilst in his crate he barked viciously at my daughter who sat on the sofa in the room he's in- about 2 meters away. She was scared and moved away. I'm honestly not sure how much more I can deal with.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Can you phone the behaviourist and see if there is any way she can see you earlier?

I believe you can come through this - but you do need to be extra careful with your children. Did his bite of your husband break the skin/do any damage? The level of damage done makes a fair bit of a difference.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

It was through jeans and left a tiny mark- no broken skin. When he started barking my husband was sitting and had to get up to remove himself. My husband is being amazing I have to say and is determined to try everything. It was a struggle for the lady to fit us in when she did so no chance of earlier. He does seem more relaxed around food which is great. I'm just on edge which I know isn't good and I'm really really afraid we may reach a point where we have to make a hard decision


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Millie123 said:


> He's generally been good today but whilst in his crate he barked viciously at my daughter who sat on the sofa in the room he's in- about 2 meters away. She was scared and moved away. I'm honestly not sure how much more I can deal with.


I hope the behaviourist can come sooner


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

No broken skin and tiny mark is a huge positive - honest!! 

Just try to keep things calm between now and appointment - I would not do any approaching with food, just back off everything and try to get through without any incidents - even if that means managing things a little more and maybe restricting pup with some baby gates so you know your kids are safe.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Will keep away from conflict as far as possible 2ndhandgal. I'm so sad as we adore him and I have no idea why we've ended up here. I feel very trapped as it would completely break our hearts to rehome him but we also can't live with this behaviour. I so so hope the trainer/behaviour lady can help. Thank you all for your support- I really need it right now!


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Don't worry about the future for now - just concentrate on getting to the appointment (is husband going to be there too - I hope so). Trainer looks really good and you have also put a lot of work into training basic manners so hopefully you will soon be back on the right track.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Thank you- yes, one day at a time. I hold onto the fact that he's a delight with other people and dogs and has a lovely temperament most of the time. Just need to teach him that we really don't want to sleep in his crate or eat his food and that my husband is one of the good 'uns!


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

He has got his wires very crossed bless him so hopefully you will be able to uncross them and he can be the lovable boy he is all of the time with none of the anxiety and stress.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

2ndhandgal said:


> He has got his wires very crossed bless him so hopefully you will be able to uncross them and he can be the lovable boy he is all of the time with none of the anxiety and stress.


Well put, that's exactly how it seems, crossed wires  I have faith that he will come good.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

I feel for you Millie it does not sound easy.

Do you have any friends with dogs? If you could walk him with some really experienced dog people while you wait for the trainer they might be able to see what is going on with him. There is a "swagger" that is needed with both fearful dogs and bold assertive dogs which tells them "I've got this, you can relax" which is really, really hard to describe with words. It is gentle/calm/playful/excited/confident/firm but loving all rolled up together. 

In all honesty sometimes a very challenging pup needs a very experienced owner. No one will blame you at all if you decide you are in over your heads with this pup. Rehoming him while he is still young might be to his advantage. Having said that I really, really hope the trainer will quickly get to the bottom of what is going on so your whole family can relax! Good luck!


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