# Feeling a bit overwhelmed



## beekmeep (Jul 16, 2012)

Hello. 

We have a lovely gorgeous apricot 'poo called Monty. He's 23 weeks old. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment as he's just so boisterous! I love him to bits but I'm fed up with mud everywhere, my clothes ripped, my 6year old daughter's artwork being eaten and the hysterics that induces, the post being savaged. The other week he bolted from me in the park and ran home, crossing 2 roads, causing 2 cars to stop. My parents find him too difficult and are not looking forward Christmas Day with us.
My friend told me to watch "Marley and Me" before getting a puppy which I did, so I knew it wasn't going to be plain sailing. I'm totally overwhelmed by tha training side of things. He goes to puppy classes with my husband but by 7:30 Thursday night, I'm too tired to remember everything and find it so confusing! DH says I need to be tougher on him, but I'm not like that and don't know where to begin! 
Sorry to moan, I'm very blessed with what I have but it's quite hard isn't it!?
Love, Bex and Monty


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Oh dear poor you - looks like the puppy blues were a bit late getting to you!, you may need to be a bit firmer but that doesn't mean acting like Sargent major, just restricting where he goes maybe enough though, do you use a crate? I must admit i was thinking about getting one of those post cages as Dudley often reaches the post before me but its been a while since he gabbed it so i'll hang on for now. I have a son who is learning that if he leaves anything within reach of the dog it is his fault if it gets chewed (he is twice your daughters age though), I have even bought a new cupboard for the hall so there isn't so much laying around - we have a babygate at the bottom of the stairs and its amazing how much stuff gets dumped on the stairs the other side of it - not great I know (I bet Colin on here would shudder!!). You need to be firm with him if he is jumping and ripping clothes, firm no, turn your back or time out if need be. This is the age Dudley was where I worried I would not be able to cope if he got worse, I learnt he would back down if I gave a big growley NO and stood over him - he would grumble at me but then flop down with his head on my feet - that gave me so much more confidence dealing with him. It may be an idea to invest in a long line when walking, I used a 50ft one for a couple of months, he was still able to run about but I had control - does get mucky dragging through the mud though! (chuck it in a bucket when you get home), I also have a daily muddy dog now, it is a pain but I throw a few jugs of water over his legs before we come in after a walk. If i've no time to dry him he lays on a towel in the hall next to the radiator. phew - long reply. Good luck. (oh and my hubby said to me one day 'he's more Marley than Lassie isn't he!).


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

He is beautiful, isn't he!
We used to have a very destructive dog - a rescue rottie cross who ate everything (the back of the sofa, the skirting boards, the door frames, even the plaster off the walls.
He used to knock the boys over (they were 2 and 5 at the time) - and he ate the post - we only got to see it after it had been right through Hooch...
We got a big crate for him and he went in it when we were out. We got an external mail box. Sometimes we shut him out of the living area - behind a barrier my husband made with some weld mesh (anything else and he would have destroyed it). I took him for very long walks and did as much training as I could with him and actually he was the most wonderful dog in the world.... eventually!
Puppies are a wonderful way of teaching children to put things away!!
Try filling an old jif lemon with water and holding it in your hand so that he cannot see it - if he jumps at you, biting your clothes give him a squirt in the face. No good if he can see the lemon - it must be a shock.
With Hooch I taught him 'paws on the floor' as a safe greeting command and he was very good ... eventually.
Stick at it, don't give up and it will get better .... eventually!!!


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## Very muddy (Jun 8, 2012)

I really, really feel for you. I know exactly how you're feeling. Our Monty was a real handful. I'm not sure if you're the lady with the Broadreach Monty like ours but I know looking at their lineage she breeds from quite a lot of stock with field champions in the history which means they are very switched on and don't miss a trick which makes it all the harder although I think all cockapoos are quite clever.

Like Dawn, we have a babygate at the bottom of the stairs and like Marzi we use a spray of water too. we also have a longline which is great. I'm not sure where you are but we are 12 miles outside of Cambridge and got a fantastic dog trainer in who wasn't cheap but has made such a huge difference to the way we handle him and his behaviour has improved enormously. Send me a message if you're interested and I can forward details.

Your monty is a beautiful dog. I can totally sympathise but you'll get some great advice from people on here. Don't let him get you down. Xxx


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## beekmeep (Jul 16, 2012)

Thanks so much for the replies! 
Yes you are right Sally, my Monty is the Broadreach Monty. His Mum is Biscuit who comes from a long line of Field Champions. Thanks for the tips. I've still got the stair gate up from when DD was little, but he has jumped over it before now. Yes, we get a big pile of stuff on the other side of it too! The long line sounds like a good plan, as does the water squirter. I've just spoken to a behaviourist lady who is coming on Monday to meet us. She looks like she's got loads of experience and really stresses the point that she deals with half human psychology, half canine. 
Sorry to be a whinger, I'm thinking it's just a puppy-blues blip and as he's such a lovely clever boy, with some help for me, we can get him (and me) on the straight and narrow. 
I shall report back!

Thanks again,
Bex and Monty (extra fluffy, just been washed as got so filthy in garden)
PS, I shall message you Sally about your behaviourist, thank you!


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## Jen62 (Sep 20, 2012)

Ah, Monty is gorgeous but looks like he's planning more mischief in the photo! We have a 14 week old Harley who is a handful too - we're trying to be very firm and 70% of the time he is fine, and 30% he is bonkers - just had a crazy moment in the lounge biting everything he can access. Are you the 'main carer'? I seem to be - and work from home so feel like there's no escape some times. Harley's only just been able to go out yesterday so at least that's a release - just sent him off with hubby whilst I get 30 minutes to sort some things out 

I'm probably not in a place to give advice, as still got 23 weeks to come... we did have an expert round though and the best advice she gave us is to keep a training line on in the house which we do now. When he jumps up somewhere, we firmly say "off" and pull him down gently but firmly. If he starts biting we extract him to the time out zone using the lead and without saying anything, so hands are safe and he's not getting any attention. She said even picking him up or chastising him can be seen as a reward as he's getting attention It has made a difference over the 5 weeks we've had him - slow but sure - and sometimes I've felt terrible for doing it. Mind you, when he goes into time out he usually pees on the carpet, just because he can, I'm sure!!!

Let us know how your session goes - any tips are always gratefully received! And I'm sure he will learn, as will Harley - eventually!


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## beekmeep (Jul 16, 2012)

Hi Jen62.
Yup, I'm the main carer too and also do a lot of work from home, so I often feel a bit like there's no escape! I do need to get a lot tougher with him, and with my 6 year old DD too, who, bless her, wants to "help" but often just undoes all the training I'm doing with him. A training line in the house sounds a good idea as that's how we've got him to not bother us when we eat at the table. Now he just lies down under the table as that's what he knows we want from him. 

Will certainly pass on some tips when we see the trainer lady!
Bex


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## Toffin (Aug 8, 2012)

Hi Bex

I'm the main carer of Polly (c.19 weeks) and also work from home. It's so very intense isn't it? She's the most exuberant puppy in her puppy class and at puppy party but I wouldn't want a dull dog! I try our best to be consistent with not allowing her to jump up or bite things she shouldn't but it means watching her every minute she's awake - exhausting...

I think the lowest point was at about 14 weeks when I was so tired, I fell asleep whilst sitting at the kitchen table.

Well done for getting a behaviourist in at this point rather than letting it get any worse. I'm sure adulthood will calm Monty down. We did find that once P was off leash for one outing a day she was more tired and slept for a few hours in late morning/afternoon.

Toffin
x


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

I'm sure you'll find the behaviourist will give you some brilliant advice, they can usually point out things the owner does wrong without even noticing and some advice how to change things - do share please!! I think our pups pick up things really fast but unfortunately its usually the wrong things - Dudley barks a lot for attention now, it's hard to work out when he may genuinely need to go out a pee. so of course eventually I take him out to check - he has learnt that if he's getting bored and barks enough I will take him out which of course he enjoys even if he doesn't need to go - clever boy.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

DB1 said:


> I'm sure you'll find the behaviourist will give you some brilliant advice, they can usually point out things the owner does wrong without even noticing and some advice how to change things - do share please!! I think our pups pick up things really fast but unfortunately its usually the wrong things - Dudley barks a lot for attention now, it's hard to work out when he may genuinely need to go out a pee. so of course eventually I take him out to check - he has learnt that if he's getting bored and barks enough I will take him out which of course he enjoys even if he doesn't need to go - clever boy.


Absolutely! Kiki has the bark down to a fine art - particularly as I had formed a habit of treating the dogs when they come in from the garden... bark to go out, come in and get a treat! Yay!
She also barks at me after Lizzie has gone to bed - this is an 'I want to sit on your lap NOW' bark and she knows that I'll pick her up for a cuddle quickly otherwise Lizzie will start calling down 'Mummy, is the puppy alright - does she need to go out' etc etc....


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## redecoffee (Dec 3, 2012)

You could get a box like this or maybe some kind of small fence box for the inside of the door to protect the mail.
Maybe he would benefit from a new stronger chew toy as a challenge to distract him from destroying other things.
I don't understand the running home though, maybe someone else here can give you a suggestion.


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## beekmeep (Jul 16, 2012)

Sounds like Dudley and Kiki do EXACTLY the same things as Monty! He barks to go out (that really loud shrill bark) then occasionally does a wee then mucks about and barks at things in the garden (I'm worried about him annoying the neighbours, although I'm pretty sure they don't mind) so I shake the treat tub to get him in, he gets a treat! They're not daft are they!? The behaviourist has emailed a recommended food with lower protein and has set some ground rules for us to put in place before our session on Monday. I think I've just been massively too soft on him, as I am with DD, so this is going to be very very useful all round!!
Thanks redecoffee for the post box suggestion, I'm going to look into getting on of those!

Thanks everyone,
Bex and Monty (currently doing hyper laps around the living room, triumphantly playing with a stolen sock)


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## Maddie'sMom (Dec 2, 2012)

*HELP..Maddie more interested in Acorns/rocks than peeing*

I am so distressed- Maddie (10 weeks) was doing so well with the potty training. Once she discovered the acorn and rocks, they have become her 'only passion'. My home is located in the middle of century old oaks in the country, with ground rock & gravel roads. Too much shade to grow grass and now it is winter. 

Everytime I take her outside to potty- that is the last thing on her mind. She literally tries to drag me to every 'source' she can get to and ignores pottying.

How can I fix this issue....I am so worried.  Please share suggestions. THanks


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## dmgalley (Aug 19, 2012)

Jake had a potty "spot" when he was little. I took him right out to the same spot every time. (this is good because you can clear it of unwanted stuff. He is also a huge rock eater) I would keep him on a short lead and he had a few mins to walk around the spot and go. I keep saying go potty. If he did not go he came in and went in the crate for 20 mins and then back out to the "spot". 
That helped me get him to go right away. As far as grabbing rocks while he is out walking.... have not really solved that other than working on drop it and leave it.


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## femmedufromage (Oct 20, 2012)

Hi Beekmeep

Please let us know how you get on. I am at the 13 week stage with my Monty, who is a little Pickle but OK. I am not working for the next 4 weeks and hope to put some really good training in with him. 

I got the terrible puppy blues at about 9 weeks, I think I was just exhausted. I am the main carer for him and he comes out to work with me each day. My husband has started to take him on a Tuesday (his day off) and it has made a big difference.

I do feel for you and fingers crossed everything goes well with the trainer.

Femme


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