# Diary of Resource Guarding Training



## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

I hope you don't mind but I'd like to update on our pup's progress as we embark on attempting to sort out some of the issues we are having. I've put a few posts on here but things have reached a bit of a peak. He has started leaving his food to bark at people in the room meaning we all exit. He barks when in his crate if people go in the room and is getting more and more difficult going in- last night I spent 20 minutes enticing with treats and got repeatedly barked at. I can't not put him in his crate as he is very destructive. He is now only in the kitchen as whenever in the lounge he bites down hard on the sofa trying to pull it off and growls at even me (I get less of the aggression) when I say 'no'. Treats, distraction etc don't work- he's intent on destroying it. The frustrating thing is I would spend ages giving him attention and playing if he would 'allow'. He growls when my husband puts his lead on- I don't let the children attempt it. The day before yesterday he growled and nipped at my daughter when she was just stroking his head and yesterday was worse- my younger daughter was just sitting playing on a laptop and I went in the room next door to do some washing. He cried for me a little then went quiet and started barking at my daughter and jumping to nip her. I aborted washing and went back in the room, opened the door and he went outside. 10 minutes later I was in the room and out of no-where he started barking at my little girl and she was literally doing nothing, just on the laptop and he went over and barked and nipped her quite hard leaving a bruise and I had to carry her out of the room. I took him to the vet last night just to rule out anything medical that may be causing him to feel tetchy. The vet was nice but I felt very judged as I was emotional and said I wasn't sure whether we may have to consider him going to another loving home, maybe without children. She said not to give up on him. We are seeing a trainer that specialises in behaviour this evening and she will give us an 'action plan'. I could understand if my children were rough and he felt threatened but (and I'm not just saying this!) they are brilliant with him- always have been. The behaviour is escalating and it's really no fun. We do feel at a bit of a crossroads. We adore our pup and it would truly break our hearts to rehome him but we can't carry on like this- it feels a little like we are prisoners in our own home. We will put into place what the lady suggests tonight and I am so hoping to be updating this with positive steps forward. Please don't judge me- I'm struggling to get the balance right between being a responsible pet owner and mother. He has bitten my husband a couple of times and I fear the same could happen to the children


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Do keep us informed. We are rooting for you and really, really hope that the trainer is able to give you a way forward and restore your confidence. Listen to the advice that she gives and be very honest with how you are feeling. 
Whether your pup stays with you, or you find him a different home, his issues need addressing.
Good luck. We are not into judging.


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

Please don't add being judged to your list of worries! We all feel for you, your family and your pup. It must be so hard to try and stay 'normal' around him and he's obviously very confused about something. Will be thinking of you tonight and hope she comes up with some strategies to solve your situation xx


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

hi, keep us updated, it must be so hard for you with the children as well, sounds as if you have been working hard to try to keep him and it has obviously not been easy for you, really hope the trainer can help you sort things out. Out of interest what sort of breeder was he from?, do you know a lot about his start in life?


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Tons of best wishes from here - it really does sound like he has got his lines very crossed despite you being a lovely family and I really hope the trainer can put you all back on track and you can get back the lovely puppy you had


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Thank you everyone. DB1- I got him from an experienced home breeder as wanted a pup familiar with home situation and her Grandchildren regularly played with the pups- we saw them together. We met Mum, a very friendly if excitable cocker spanial. Dad was a stud. I actually called the breeder yesterday to discuss early days and parents further and to see if anyone else had reported problems. They haven't and she said she has never had trouble with Mum being aggressive. Sadly, he has just gone at my little girl again. She was minding her own business and he just started barking at her jumping up. She was frightened and before I could get her away he 'nipped' her and this time has left scratch marks and a little blood under her armpit. We are doing our utmost to keep her safe but it's now where she can't even be in the same room as him, even with me there. She can be noisy (as most 5 year olds are!) but can't think of anything to warrant this. So, so sad


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## Datun Walnut (Oct 15, 2013)

Fingers crossed for the trainer. Keep us updated.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Looking forward to hearing about your progress. All the best!


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

The fabulous trainer has just been and she is absolutely amazing. She has just left after spending 3 hours with us. We have a whole load of ideas and a training programme to work from straight away including clicker training, desensitising triggers and so much positive training. It starts from tonight when my boy won't sleep in his crate as this has become an issue. I'm a bit nervous not knowing whether he'll cry/ bark etc in the night but we'll see!! I'm feeling very positive about everything and know if we can turn this around, this is absolutely the right route. We have 3 1:1 sessions booked in over the next few weeks to learn more and build on successes. For the first time in a long time I feel very positive!


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Brilliant. This sounds amazing.
Good luck.


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

Lovely! Lots of luck with the new regime and well done for staying so positive. You deserve a happy outcome xxx


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## Tinman (Apr 23, 2013)

Please don't feel judged by us .... Of all people!
My Ralph cam be vocal with billy (my 5 year old son) but this tends to be if billy is in a wrestling mood.. He's been told time and time again. Ralph will be quite vocal, thankfully it is his way of telling billy to p**s off!! and it is just vocal - but it stops billy! But it's ok for Ralph to maul billy on the trampoline and when he gets in from school!! 
I'm sure your dog is just trying to find his place in the "pecking order" within the family unit.
I'm sure your training (& professional tips) will help him establish this. Keep us updated x


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

I really hope that your pup slept well out of his crate and you had an undisturbed night.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Excellent news 

Hope all now goes smoothly and you soon have your happy boy back


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Sounds like things are going to improve loads with the trainer, so pleased for you, we definitely wouldn't judge you on here, I just asked about your puppies start as I noticed yours wasn't a puppy we had 'followed' from the beginning, it sounds like he had a good breeder. Hope everything starts improving really soon.


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

I am so happy the trainer gave you hope! When you have time please let us know how the new training regime is coming.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Thank you so much for the encouragement  So day 1 yesterday was interesting. First thing to say is that I took pup back to the vet (had taken him to rule anything out that might be causing him to be grumpy a few days ago and she just listened to his heart and felt his body) but I'd been concerned he was showing increased interest in his ears even before that but she'd initially said they were waxy. When looking down them yesterday turns out the poor little fellow has infections in both ears. We have to clean once a day and give drops twice. As you can imagine the last thing I want at the moment is to cause him any stress- particularly caused by us. It took 2 of them to do it. They were great and said I could take him in each day to have the cleaning done if I was having trouble, which to be honest I'm just going to do because they clearly are upsetting him and I want things here to be as positive as possible! Who knows how long they have been like that and whether maybe treatment will help him be less cross?! 
We put into practice all the trainer suggested. Lots of things to do during the day. Generally the actual exercises are going well except the collar/treat one where we just show the lead and treat with a view to build it up to touch and treat etc. I can do it no problem- even put on, but he growled at my husband. By his own admission he thinks he pushed it and gently touched with the lead too soon, so back to basics on that. A few downers from yesterday: He did randomly start barking at the children a couple of times in a cross way- no reason. I distracted with squeaky toy and they left the room each time. Suddenly went mad barking at my husband when he was working at the table- bit through the table cloth- not sure whether was intended for my husband! Started biting my dining table chairs in the kitchen, where he is based now. Feel a little trapped as he's in the kitchen all the time- the main shared area so it's hard to 'switch off'. At least when he was crated I knew nothing untoward was going on! At one point pup was on sofa (wanted to try him in lounge) and my husband was sitting at other end. I just looked over, and I guess he was expecting me to tell him to get off and he turned and barked at my husband, getting closer. I distracted with squeaky toy again. There were more but just to give a picture.
Now, ending with positives. Night times have been fine in the kitchen- no destruction and I've been able to set alarm a little later this morning! One of the exercises is to not get up because he wants me to, teach him that he gets up when I do, so at the moment am setting alarm a little later each day if that makes sense. Hand feeding is going well, as is the dropping a couple of bits of kibble in the empty food bowl. Interesting when we could tell he was getting a little stressed doing it, rather than getting cross he went and got toys for a second, dropped them then came back for more food. Excellent my husband can do that. When I was doing it he barked at me just the once and again went and got toys for a second then came back. My big girl stroked his tummy when he offered it to her (with me ready to distract!) and he was absolutely fine. Met a man walking that pup used to growl and bark at, randomly, and he went to him for a stroke. Was great at vets- everyone always comments on what a lovely dog he is 
So there we are. In summary after day one of puppy boot camp I am completely emotionally and physically exhausted but feeling positive, especially as we have found his ear infections which may have been contributing to his grumpiness. So sorry for mammoth post


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

Well done you - I hope you have a reward chart up for you and your family so that all this being good and working with the pup will culminate in a trip to Legoland or something wonderful. You'll deserve/need a pamper weekend or something 
Good that his ears are being treated and that the vet is going to administer the drops. What length is pup's coat? It might be a good idea to get him clipped quite short once his ears have been sorted out - as then you won't be worrying about brushing him out too much either.
Just take one day at a time and try and celebrate every positive and minimize any backward step. It sounds as if your trainer has opened your eyes to see your pup's coping mechanisms and to see when he is stressed. This will help.
You are doing a brilliant job - keep at it.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Thank you Marzi- The children are certainly going to be getting a lovely treat soon as they are being so brilliant. They don't moan about him, although obviously a bit wary and carry on loving him no matter what. They are also 'suffering' in other ways as it's hard to have friends round as we are so consumed with helping our pup, and we are finding it hard to spread our time round so they get enough attention as well. I have to say my husband is being an absolute star when I'm sure some would have given up a long time ago. We will do absolutely all the trainer suggests as we love our boy and just hope, hope that things improve


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## fairlie (Sep 7, 2013)

Your trainer obviously knows what she is doing and your whole families dedication to his retraining is commendable! The alarm clock idea is nothing short of brilliant, I might just start that with Rufus and see if I can convince him to let me sleep later each morning. Keep in mind that Rome was not built in a day and you'll no doubt take a step back for every three forward, so try not to get discouraged. Please keep us posted, long posts are fabulous, it might just help many of us here who are dealing with the same kinds of issues and very soon you wil be a pro!


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## Sandhya333 (May 18, 2014)

Absolutely fabulous - so pleased you are feeling positive after the trainer has been.

Really feel for you about your little man. It's obvious how much you adore him, but ofcourse you have to safe guard your family too. So sorry you are having to go through this - but hopefully things should get resolved very soon now, and you can fully enjoy your puppy.

Good luck.


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Sounds like you are off to an excellent start and I am sure the ear infections will not have helped at all so hopefully once those settle down too things will be easier.

Really pleased that things are looking up  

As Fairlie says I am sure there will be slip backs as well as steps forwards but I am looking forward to you all being able to relax with your boy once more


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Yesterday was generally a positive steps forward day. All training steps are going well- hand feeding, eye contact etc and as we've removed the main triggers- the food bowl and crate we haven't seen the level of aggression we were. However, pup has been more reactive towards the children and they now are unable to go into the kitchen without me being there. He's not really hurting them but often barks and snaps. It's either straight away or after we've been chatting for a little while. I honestly see no rhyme or reason. Other times he is absolutely fine, even offering toys to be thrown (which the children are afraid of reaching down to pick up- not that he gets aggressive but tries to get it at the same time!) or a tummy to be tickled. At one point my bigger girl was crying and saying she wasn't going to go in the kitchen any more- a little tricky as it's the main room. This afternoon was much better though and the children were fine coming in and out. A few more positives- we walked past 3 horses twice, about 6 meters away and usually he would bark but nothing today! My neighbour came round and I put him on a lead- no barking and he let her stroke his head. To be fair he's usually great with other people and dogs. Night was good although a little noisy as I kept hearing the doors banging a little where he was obviously scratching/ chewing etc. I set the alarm for 6am and got up before him. I do think he's learning I will come in and I'm hoping next week when I have to get ready before coming in the kitchen that he will wait quietly.
I spoke to Stephen from Cockapoo UK- I know we are not there, but I've been researching just in case my boy needs to go to a 'better home'. It breaks my heart even saying that but if it came to it I would want to know we have done our best for him and not have to go to a rescue centre. We actually didn't really discuss rehoming as we were focussing on moves forward. He totally recommended changing the food to no grain. He says they notice a huge difference sometimes in dogs they work with and it's the first thing they do. The training lady had also suggested changing food so I checked with her and have got one to introduce she agrees would be a good choice- Barking Heads Puppy Days no grain.
I still feel overwhelmed to be honest. At least when he went in his crate in the evening I could switch off for a bit. He is being good in the kitchen at the moment but it doesn't have the same 'switch off' feeling. We were all due to go away for a few days but it would be too tricky with things the way they are so my husband has just taken the little one away for 2 nights. It will be good for her to get some attention and I'm making sure the other 2 are going to activities they want to. I'm thinking forward and am anxious what to do as just before Christmas we are due to visit parents 4 hours away and I can't take pup because of no crate- actually not sure I could even with crate!
So, there we are, another mammoth post but it's actually quite therapeutic getting it all out as I'm not really talking to people here as don't want my dog labelled 'aggressive' when we hopefully will get through this.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

You are doing well. Small steps is how it goes. 

I think you are giving him a great home and especially all the steps you are taking to ensure he improves and fits better with your family. It's good that you are considering all the options but I don't think you would be rehoming to a better home as you put it  just a more suitable one if he doesn't improve his reliability around the children. Personally I think you've come really far and world hope by Christmas time he would be much much better. If I were you I would start talking to some home boarding people for you Christmas trip. Explain your challenges and that you hope to be in a better place manners and behaviour wise, and allow them to reassure you that they will keep the training up while you are away. Get him booked in and enjoy the break away. By then you will deserve a break too and sometimes absence helps you realise what you are missing and the bond you've got. It's okay to go on holiday without your dog and it's a recipe for disaster to take your dog somewhere he is not really wanted as you will not enjoy yourself, you'll be worrying the whole time.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

I really feel for you and I am so impressed with your attitude. I do hope that things work out for you, your family and your pup and that in the mix of it all you don't go completely mad 
Keep coming on and talking it through with us, we think you are wonderful and know that if you end up re homing your boy it will be because it is the best thing for him and you, not because it is easy.
How old is your pup? I know you've said before, and I'm thinking 8 months, but not sure if I've plucked that number out of the air. 
Keep telling your children how proud you are of them, they will learn positive things from this experience too.


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

RuthMill said:


> You are doing well. Small steps is how it goes.
> 
> I think you are giving him a great home and especially all the steps you are taking to ensure he improves and fits better with your family. It's good that you are considering all the options but I don't think you would be rejoining to a better home as you put it  just a more suitable one if he doesn't improve his reliability around the children. Personally I think you've come really far and world hope by Christmas time he would be much much better. If I were you I would start talking to some home boarding people for you Christmas trip. Explain your challenges and that you hope to be in a better place manners and behaviour wise, and allow them to reassure you that they will keep the training up while you are away. Get him booked in and enjoy the break away. By then you will deserve a break too and sometimes absence helps you realise what you are missing and the bond you've got. It's okay to go on holiday without your dog and it's a recipe for disaster to take your dog somewhere he is not really wanted as you will not enjoy yourself, you'll be worrying the whole time.


Can't add to your rep on this post Ruth, but I wanted to. Excellent post


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Also did you ever get to the root cause of his behaviour issues?


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Thank you RuthMill and Marzi. My pup is 7 months now. We do have a lady who is brilliant for looking after him in the past (even though he did put her through it running away for 4 hours!) and I'm sure she'd be happy to look after him. I may ask the trainer for recommendations as well. He's always fine with other people and my friend took him out for a walk for me one day and I warned her he was reluctant to get in his crate- knew he wouldn't be aggressive to her as he adores her and wasn't growling at me then just didn't want to go- she laughed and said when they got home he led her to the crate still on his lead and walked right in without even a treat thrown in  Will reinforce to the children how great they are being- they are amazing and after not wanting to come in the kitchen, later my big girl was suggesting we should get another puppy as well as it's easier introducing a second! I did point out that 1) The first one needs to be a good example 2) I may end up completely insane rather than just partly!


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Marzi said:


> Can't add to your rep on this post Ruth, but I wanted to. Excellent post


Thanks Marzi, I try to add to your rep all the time and it always tells me I can't and must add to others first!!


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

RuthMill said:


> Also did you ever get to the root cause of his behaviour issues?


She isn't sure- may have been a series of things that happened around the time it started- he got lost for 4 hours and ended up miles away and we don't know what happened during that time. Also a trainer (different) took a kong out of his mouth which made him REALLY cross and bit the trainer- he'd warned with a growl and the action went against all we'd been taught- it was a very odd, surreal scenario. That may have triggered guarding and being anxious. I'm also doing research into his beginnings again. We had no reason to doubt the breeder- she seemed great and we saw the pups in the house but on Stephen's recommendation did some further digging and it turns out she has advertised many litters of different breeds in the last year. I have contacted pets4homes to see if I can retrieve the original ad and any others she has placed. I spoke to her yesterday and asked how many dogs were in the house- she said 2 and a puppy when our pup was there but the other ads I found were for different breeds. She got a little defensive when I asked about the other ads saying they were for her daughter. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I had no reason to doubt her honesty but now I'm feeling naive. If it turns out there was false information in her ad I will pursue it


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## Mazzapoo (Jul 28, 2013)

As the others have already said, please please do keep updating us! One of the unexpected side effects of this forum is personal sanity management  and we're all learning alongside you too anyway! Your children sound great and extremely resilient which demonstrates what a lovely family environment they have benefitted from and I think pup will eventually gain in the same way. And don't underestimate the power of 'time', everyday your pup is one day older and so one teeny step further along the ladder to self control and calming down so along with your additional behaviour management input that's a powerful combination. And you have the power of ILMC backing you up too!
I hope your hubby and youngest have a nice few days and that those of you in the house enjoy your time off too (bet you feel like you need another half term!).


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Thank you Mazzapoo but no, no, to another half term! Going to work is sooo helpful at the moment for a break and much as I love my children juggling everything whilst doing puppy boot camp is a challenge!  You are right each day is a day closer to adulthood and possible calm puppy. Have to say this morning he's spent 2 hours just lying down! Hoping it's not because his ears are hurting but that he's feeling more relaxed. The children have been in a few times and he's been fine. Good start to the day


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## DB1 (Jan 20, 2012)

sounds good, Barking heads is a good food, quite a few of us on here fed it to ours as pups, I just noticed the other day that they do a grain free version of puppy days now. Glad you had a chat to Stephen, never spoken to him myself but have heard that he has helped a few people get through rough times with their dogs as well as rehoming others. sad you now feel the breeder may not be as good as you hoped, some people are just so devious, thats why the advice to google the phone number is great and needs to be spread more, you usually get previous ads coming up then. The trainer taking the Kong sounds like something that definitely hasn't helped, and what with going missing....poor boy has obviously had a few things that alone may not seem significant....but, you sound so determined to sort this out, your family sounds brilliant, all of you deserve things to get better really quickly, you have so much on your plate but a brilliant attitude, we all understand it is easier to vent on here than speak to people 'outside', so write page after page if it helps. Good luckxx


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Really pleased things are starting to go well. Your family sound brilliant and well committed to him and I think early signs are really good for you all.


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## RuthMill (Jun 30, 2012)

Millie123 said:


> She isn't sure- may have been a series of things that happened around the time it started- he got lost for 4 hours and ended up miles away and we don't know what happened during that time. Also a trainer (different) took a kong out of his mouth which made him REALLY cross and bit the trainer- he'd warned with a growl and the action went against all we'd been taught- it was a very odd, surreal scenario. That may have triggered guarding and being anxious. I'm also doing research into his beginnings again. We had no reason to doubt the breeder- she seemed great and we saw the pups in the house but on Stephen's recommendation did some further digging and it turns out she has advertised many litters of different breeds in the last year. I have contacted pets4homes to see if I can retrieve the original ad and any others she has placed. I spoke to her yesterday and asked how many dogs were in the house- she said 2 and a puppy when our pup was there but the other ads I found were for different breeds. She got a little defensive when I asked about the other ads saying they were for her daughter. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I had no reason to doubt her honesty but now I'm feeling naive. If it turns out there was false information in her ad I will pursue it


Breeders can be devious. It is very difficult to know who the good ones are without a recommendation or having known them a while. I fell into a trap with Lola - I knew the breeder was not good when I went to see the pups, I felt something wasn't quite right but I got sucked I'm because Lola gave me a look and I couldn't have left her there. As it turns out, I reported that breeder and so have others - there is now a criminal investigation. I learned my lesson and we are lucky with Lola's health and temperament. However, it's easy to tell that Nina came from a wonderful breeder.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Yesterday was generally a positive day! All the exercises went well, but to be honest it's not me he reacts with anyway. He was great with the children and didn't bark when they came in the kitchen, in fact, he seemed pleased to see them and let them stroke him. We went on a long walk and he was great off lead so had oodles of exercise and fun. Some other dogs were having a right 'argument' over the road and he didn't bark even though was obviously nervous. A few things that didn't go so well- he growled and snapped at a friend of the family (13) when we met them out, making me unsure how he will react with other people. At the vets, he had to be muzzled as he was growling and snapping at the nurse while trying to clean his ears. They are being lovely but have suggested in other words that I should essentially 'man up' and be able to do it myself. The truth is, I'm scared. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Just one barking at my big girl- she walked through with some washing and he got hold of some- knickers- typical! I tried distracting with a toy but boy did he want them- no growling or anything just holding on. I threw the toy and he dropped them. We quickly got them out of the way but when he realised they were gone he went over and barked at her. I distracted with a toy again and she left.
Although it's going well, I'm feeling overwhelmed and sad. I know I shouldn't compare but I look at other dogs and how easy it all is and how much a part of the family they are and soft and gentle and I feel envious. Our lives are on hold as we try and sort this- because he's in the main area of the house I don't have people round, I haven't seen many friends for months, the children have to be escorted in the kitchen, my husband and I don't go out together because it's hard having a babysitter here and I'm not getting any switch off time because we are not using the crate. I know I should be grateful because things are on the up but my fear is that I will never feel I can trust him properly which won't work for us. Sorry, I'm just feeling sorry for myself! Onwards and upwards...


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Bless you. Don't forget this is still early days and you are already making progress. 

One thing I would add which may make your life slightly easier is evaluating the real value when he has stuff he shouldn't. It is something I did with Molly when I first had her so in other words I picked my battles. Socks or knickers stolen were not of all that much concern to me so I left her to it. Less challenges meant both of us were less stressy about life so when I did need to retrieve things it was easier.


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## Millie123 (Oct 8, 2014)

Yes, I agree. I do tend to let some things go although we don't generally have a problem with 'stuff'- he's usually fine swapping for treats. I think what happened here was the sudden realisation that they'd gone and he does like a pair of undies


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## 2ndhandgal (Aug 29, 2011)

Molly does too. I got a text this week when I was at work to tell me she had proudly stolen a pair of her husband's pants!! I asked her to tell Molly she was not bringing them home with her!!!


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## Marzi (Sep 17, 2012)

It sounds as if all is going well. It strikes me that this training is a bit like dieting - when you weigh yourself every day sometimes you are encouraged and sometimes not so - but the once a week weigh in (if you have been good) shows that you are definitely heading in the right direction. 
When do you next see the trainer?


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